Ghosthouse

Recently I picked up this title as an absolute bargain on eBay for just 99p & to be honest I wasn't expecting much as I'm a huge horror movie buff but haven't heard much about this title.

The director is credited as Humphrey Humbert - but to my surprise this was a pseudonym for the legendary Umberto Lenzi (better known for the notorious Cannibal Ferox). But those of you expecting a cannibal gut-crunching movie will be disappointed. In fact the film doesn't really have much gore in it but for what it lacks in human entrails it certainly makes up for in creepy atmosphere & an unforgettable spooky soundtrack.

Now I don't know about you but clowns have always been sinister to me & Ghosthouse is basically about the spirit of a young girl who carries around this clown doll & when she appears in front of unsuspecting victims they are soon dispensed of. Its at these moments that the creepy 'nursery-rhyme-esque' theme tune kicks in & it'll play in your mind for days on end!

Don't get me wrong this aint no Exorcist or Dawn Of The Dead but its a little known movie which if you get the chance is definitely worth watching.

Maybe if the director had used his real name & billed it as 'From The Director Of Cannibal Ferox' then it would've done much better financially.

Umberto Lenzi's GHOSTHOUSE opens with the gruesome, otherworldly murders of a man and his wife. This, after the man had discovered that the family cat was killed by his creepy daughter, Henrietta (Kristen Fougerousse).

Twenty years later, Paul (Greg Rhodes) and Martha (Lara Wendel) wind up in the very same house, after receiving a strange radio message. Now abandoned, Paul and Martha soon encounter others who happen to be camping on the house's grounds. Let the senseless slaughter begin.

Lenzi pulls out all the stops in this movie, unleashing a crazed hillbilly, an unconvincing head in a washing machine, exploding glass jars / bottles, a shaky camper, a devil dog, an indoor feather-storm, an acid / slime bubble bath, the grim reaper, and a goggle-eyed Henrietta and her clown doll! Said clown is a total hoot, and a better actor than any human in this film!

Preposterous and absolutely non-frightening, this is a rare treat for the true schlock connoisseur! The mindless dialogue is perfectly suited to the mannequin-like characters, who simply wander through the house until something "bad" happens. Just wait until you see the funeral home murder scene, complete with a paper towel-lined coffin! Pure platinum! Watch this immediately!

P.S.- Watch the aforementioned hillbilly, and marvel at his vast array of murder implements. He uses an ax, a meat cleaver, a pitchfork, a hammer, and a sickle!...

How can you not like this movie?! Not only was it good, but it was also good! Sure the acting isn't the best and the dubbing is a little off, but that's not what made the movie what it was anyway! The nursery song is soooo creepy! And the little girl, freaks me out every time. The beginning is the best though...

I really loved this movie. The first time I saw this movie, I was over my aunt's house. I still am wondering where my aunt placed this movie because I am trying to get it back to be able to watch it. The noise that the little girl's doll made was silly and funny, but overall the gore, the plot, and the scenery (of the haunted house especially) was just breathtaking. The movie may be a little boring to you at times but not a whole lot. The movie does look like it has a cheap setting because it is a foreign film, but it is a must-see and it is better than most american made gory films. My rating is 8.5 out of 10 stars.

Umberto Lenzi would be the first to tell you that he isn't a horror director. Generally working on war and adventure films, he dabbled in the seedy climes of the giallo and the cannibal film in the 70s, but that was pretty much the closest he came to horror. That is, until he was roped in by, you guessed it, the nefarious Aristide Massacessi to make an "unofficial" entry into the EVIL DEAD series (the Italian title of which was LA CASA). Although it has sweet nothing to do with Raimi's movies, it's actually quite a tight little supernatural haunted house movie, owing much to the likes of SUPERSTITION...

Critically, I can't really defend some aspects of it. The acting, script, sound track and plot are totally absurd. Although somewhat endearing, the whole "possessed doll" thing does NOT work when you are using a miniscule special effects budget. There are a few nice gore set-pieces and as the story gets increasingly ridiculous, it's surprising to see that there are some quite atmospheric moments worked in. A lot of this is owed to the fact that Massacessi managed to scrape together enough lira to justify shooting the movie in autumnal Boston, rather than on a CineCitta sound stage. Further points are scored by a typically typecast appearance from sleaze regular Donald O'Brien, who puts in the usual hilariously grizzly performance.

If nothing else, watch this movie for the absurdly Americanised pseudonyms. Lenzi chooses to call himself "Humphrey Humbert", and if that isn't ludicrous enough, one of the actors goes under the moniker of "David Champagne"! This is surely only second to Mario Bava's "John Foam" as being the most laughable pseudonym in Italian movie history.

This film has a sequel starring David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair. I haven't actually seen it and by all accounts it is spectacularly terrible, yet I still somehow feel drawn towards it. Cinematic masochism.