The Lair of the White Worm

Before Hugh Grant hit the big-time playing floppy-haired fops in rom-coms, he mostly played floppy haired-fops in costume period dramas; an exception to this was Ken Russell's The Lair of The White Worm (1988), in which Hugh went against type by playing modern-day floppy-haired fop Lord James D'Ampton, who teams up with archaeologist Angus Flint (played by the new Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi) and B&B owner Mary Trent (Sammi Davis) to defeat a pagan snake-woman (Amanda Donohoe) who worships a giant, ancient, subterranean wyrm (another name for dragon).

This being a Russell movie, there is plenty of surreal weirdness on offer, with psychedelic dream sequences, Christian-baiting blasphemous imagery, phallic symbolism, and cheap titillation courtesy of Donohoe, who spends a lot of her time naked, and Catherine Oxenberg, who is stripped to her undies as a sacrifice for the creature. However, what could have been extremely controversial actually proves to be rather amusing thanks to the director's tongue-in-cheek B-movie approach (some might call it 'camp') and the tacky special effects; ultimately, this is silly, harmless fun for the cult movie crowd.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for the Concorde dream sequence, which is downright trippy.

I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"

Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers, giant white worms, and the forces of evil!

Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!

I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who doesn't want to see that?

A very strange movie, to say the least.

Directed & written by Ken Russell and loosely based on Bram Stoker's novel, "The Lair of the White Worm" (1988) chronicles events in England when a young archeologist (Peter Capaldi) uncovers a skull of some unknown beast near a bed & breakfast run by two sisters (Sammi Davis & Catherine Oxenberg). These three and Eve's beau (Hugh Grant) soon stumble upon an ancient snake cult led by the eccentric Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe), who dwells at a lavish estate nearby.

The movie is a creative and entertaining creature feature reminiscent in tone & theme of "Squirm" (1976), but with Russell's well-known offbeat excesses. The "creatures" are vampire-like snake people plus a gigantic serpent at the close, both of which recall the snake worshipers & giant serpents from "Conan the Barbarian" (1982).

There are some iconic cinematic images, like Donohoe as the vampiric snake lady, not to mention a few well done horror scenes, like a snake woman who's cut in half, but still wiggles with furious intent.

The snake cult is diabolical in an anti-Christ way and I can see why some viewers might find the movie shocking and offensive, like the weird nun-raping flashback. Yet everything's so exaggerated and sometimes cheesy with a bit o' humor thrown in that the film can't be taken very seriously, which negates it from being shocking or disturbing. Fun in a horrific way? Yes. Disturbing? No. Also, keep in mind that horror villains/monsters are SUPPOSED to drip with ee-vil and be shocking. The question is, do they win or do the noble protagonists win?

On the female front, the chief snake lady thinks she's hotter than she really is as Donohoe amusingly hams it up. Meanwhile Catherine Oxenberg as Eve is a semi-highlight, particularly in the last act.

The film runs 1 hour, 33 minutes and was shot entirely in England (Hertfordshire; Manifold Valley, Staffordshire; Peak District National Park; and Derbyshire). Thor's Cave in Manifold Valley is magnificent.

GRADE: B-

'Dr. Who' actor Peter Capaldi plays Angus Flint, an archaeology student who unearths a strange skull from the grounds of a bed & breakfast, where a convent had existed once upon a time. Meanwhile, the seductively sexy young Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her neighboring home, and more weird things are soon happening. It turns out, there is a local legend in the area, of a nobleman who'd vanquished a hideous reptilian beast - not literally a "worm" - centuries ago. Also mixed up in the plot are that noblemans' descendant, James D'Ampton (Hugh Grant), and lovely sisters Mary (Sammi Davis) and Eve (Catherine Oxenberg).

The director is Ken Russell of such classics as "The Devils", and he also produced and adapted the novel by "Dracula" creator Bram Stoker. So we know going in to expect a fair amount of outrageousness. Fortunately, this film never does get out of control, but it combines some sober drama with some very campy and sometimes hilarious horror. Clearly, it's not meant to be taken all that seriously, especially when we consider the crudely done fantasy sequences envisioned by the characters and the audience. (People who are easily offended will undoubtedly be put off by some of this imagery.) The makeup is amusing, but what's really a hoot is the beast itself, Dionin. Excellent location shooting adds atmosphere.

The actors, commendably, maintain serious expressions. Although he's reputed to refuse to talk about this film, Grant does a good, droll job. Capaldi is a decent hero who, at one point, attempts to attract a reptilian presence by putting on a kilt and playing the bagpipes. Oxenberg and Davis look appropriately scared, Stratford Johns is a solid presence as the butler Peters, and Donohoe, often dressed in very sexy outfits, does appear to be having some real fun as the villainess.

A truly frightening film this is not, but it's quite entertaining just the same.

Eight out of 10.

I'm not going to strain my brain trying to work out just what Ken Russell was trying to achieve with 'The Lair Of The White Worm', but he ended up with a semi-classic slice of campy, sleazy trash that is full of nudge, nudge, wink, wink smutty humor. There's absolutely no way anyone could take this one seriously! I haven't read Bram Stoker's novel so I don't know how much the movie has to do with it, but Russell takes EVERY opportunity for to show a phallic symbol or a puerile gag, and that, added to the tongue in cheek performances from the cast (especially Peter Capaldi, Hugh Grant and the delicious Amanda Donohoe), makes this one of the silliest and most entertaining movies you'll ever see. Donohoe is just brilliant, the monster is cheesy, the blatant gags will make you roll your eyes and groan, and there are a few extraordinary Russell touches in the very brief, quasi-psychedelic "visions" experienced by a few of the characters. 'The Lair Of The White Worm' is certainly not for everybody, but there's nothing else quite like it, not even in Russell's very strange ouevre, and if you "get it" it's a complete hoot!