Shatter Dead

When I borrowed a friend's copy of Shatter Dead, I expected to get some thrills of the zombie gore-fest variety. What I received was really really bad. It wasn't even good in a really really bad way. The first thing that upset and disgusted me was not blood or wanton violence but rather that it was shot on video, not film, immediately cheapening the whole experience. The pictures on the DVD case (yes, DVD) misled me into thinking that this would be a professional piece of work. I have seen many low-budget films, but this takes the prize for worst makeup. Some characters, many of which I'm sure were willing locals and student volunteers, donned grey paint on their skin. Others had some some cheap looking gashes about the face. Most, however were not made up at all. It was also very slow paced, a bit confusing and featured both flat staging and acting. It was hard to tell whether it was the poor acting or the poorly written lines ("Don't be scared, I'm scared too") were what made me want to turn it off.

Having ripped in to this movie quite a bit, it's only fair to share some highlights. Indeed writer/director, Scooter McRae puts an interesting spin on the old living dead yarn that discusses "souls" as being un-killable, despite condition of the body. It also receives my thumbs up for explicitly using, one more than one occasion, a hand gun as a phallus. It's also encouraging to any aspiring filmmaker to see the manifestation of McRae's ideas and labor, on DVD no less. I guess it won some sort of award, too. Bottom line, this flick is for hardcore low-budget horror fans only. If, on the other hand, a friend owns it you might want to watch it. If not for a laugh, then at least to broaden your filmic horizons.

Having read of this film and its charms in such reputable genre magazines as "Rue Morgue" and "Fangoria" over the past eight years or so, I finally got around to viewing "Shatter Dead" in its newly released DVD format. That said, I find myself shaking my head (and just shaking in general) as to how anyone with an IQ higher than that of the most scholarly of algae could summon up anything positive to say about this terrible waste of time and money. While the premise of having the living dead trying to live amongst us is an intriguing one to this long-time viewer of hardcore porn, (Oops! Did I say hardcore porn? Sorry, I meant to say zombie movies.) there is nothing at all intriguing about watching a lousy student film (which is to say, a student film) shot directly to video, starring said student's film school chums running around backyards and stripmalls with the same blatantly latex makeup jobs as if they'd all consumed cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor with Vicatin chasers. Much more interesting would be a film about a pencil factory where the evil CEO falls into the grinding machine and his soul comes to inhabit millions of number two pencils the world over. Mankind, armed only with his own moxie and a few good pencil sharpeners, in the end are no match for this fiendish plot, and soon succumb to the heathen pleasures of permanent and non-permanent inks. I call it, "Get the Lead Out!", and while it may not exactly be coming to a theater near you anytime soon, when it does, you will find it a much more harrowing experience than say, "Shatter Dead", and you will believe (!!!), or, at the very least, you'll think twice before chomping on our bright yellow friends. As I close, I am reminded again of this kindergarden klownfest's declaration that "God Hates You!". Well, duhh! Tell me something I don't know! Of course God hates me. He told me to watch "Shatter Dead".

I had heard that this movie was so cool and creative, so I had high expectations. I was immediately disappointed when the movie started and the picture looked like it was filmed by a camcorder. The female lead's acting is so bad, I contemplated turning the dvd off. That bad. I kept on watching because I paid a pretty penny (more than the average price for a dvd) to get a copy of this movie (from the distributor). I also wanted to see if the story and gore were any good. Good luck. The story is about a girl trying to get back to her apartment, that's it. There was some crappy gore and a xxx scene involving the female lead, her boyfriend and a pistol (a pellet handgun in reality). You can probably figure out the rest. I threw away the dvd, just as I threw away my money when I bought it.

Instead of complaining about what's wrong with Shatter Dead, like everyone else, let's talk about what's right about it. Directed by Scooter McCrae, Shatter Dead really accomplishes what it's going for. Other than originality, it flaunts a certain quiet, empty, apocalyptic feel. Inspired by God knows what, Shatter Dead centers on a woman named Susan. Susan is trying to make her way home to her boyfriend without blowing someones undead head off, certainly no promises, because this "begging for change" is wearing a little thin. After one of these undead minorities steals the gas out of her car, she sets him on fire. just to let you know what kind of girl we're dealing with. After a run-in with a radical group, who are promoting the way on the undead, Susan finds shelter in a house, especially meant for the living, I guess. There, she meets some interesting characters, some hit on her, some want her soap, but all Susan wants is to sleep. Susan's slumber is soon interrupted by the New Order. Armed with a shot gun and bad intentions, Pericles Lewnes and some Howard Stern guy are on a rampage, determined to convert the living. After ruining the life, or I guess death of a hot young zombie and witnessing a birth/death that you just wouldn't believe, Susan realizes, it might be time to move on. Off to see the boyfriend, but once Susan arrives, she finds a whole new problem. Unlike the more traditional, or even the not so traditional Zombie films, in Shatter Dead, the zombies are only technically zombies, When their heart stops beating, the soul no longer separates itself from the body, and they just rot, for all eternity. This being a punishment from God. Why would God do such a thing? well, That's cleared up in the first minute of the movie, unless you weren't paying attention. The real difference between a zombie and a Shatter Dead zombie is that most zombies in this movie have no bad intentions, they just want to keep on going. Just because there's no flesh-eating doesn't mean there's no gore, just to clear that up. Slightly blasphemous, although, dwelling on that would be missing the point. The point being, Shatter Dead is a damn fine, original, independent film that doesn't seem to get the recognition that it deserves, considering most of these other reviews. Guys, if you really think Shatter Dead sucks, track down Zombie '90 Extreme Pestilence, for a truly enlightening experience. The theme of blasphemy, along with the whole video camera issue tells me that Shatter Dead wont be getting a ten. Nonetheless, this is probably the highest I'll ever rate a zombie film that was shot on video, so, Scooter must have done something right. The misunderstood art that is Shatter Dead deserves no less than 8/10

More regrets:

I have to be the biggest sucker in the world. What other person would go out and buy so many of these backyard home video horror movies? Why did I buy into all the hype that these little genre websites give to these pieces of garbage!?

Well I've learned my lesson. Yes, I was an idiot to go out and buy so many of these films but having done so, I feel safe in saying that any positive reviews that junk like this gets has to be written by cast members or the directors themselves because there's no way anyone besides people involved who could actually like this crap.

First off, this is not a movie for fans of traditional zombie films! Shatter Dead is a cheap looking home video. It's not a horror film in any sense, it's nothing more then a wanna be art film. It's got the most vile looking cast ever assembled to carry the lame story forward. It's got the lowest production values I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of these type films lately. There was no way of getting behind any of the character's because they all sucked! A bunch of art film school students making a video in their backyard. Nothing more!!! The only good thing about this garbage was the DVD sleeve which worked like a charm in suckering me into buying it.

If one is desperate for a z-grade zombie film then they'd be better to look into MEAT MARKET 2 which I also recently bought. While that movie was nothing great either, it's at least a zombie film that entertains the viewer. Shatter Dead does nothing but annoy and bore the viewer.

0/10 AVOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!