Santa Claws

I have to admit that this flick is pretty terrible and the only reason to watch it would be if you are a fan of Debbie Rochon. The reasons that this movie is so terrible is you have a very unintimidating and laughable killer. Here's a line from him. "I'm not Wayne, I'm Santa Claus!", then you have very unattractive women save Debbie Rochon dancing horribly to bland stripper music, very little gore, and bad sound dubbing. But there are a few good sides to this flick. It's cheesy, Debbie Rochon, more Debbie Rochon, more, and more Debbie Rochon, and John Russo in a badly acted cameo. What more could you want. For a badly acted, cheese fest, I give it a 5. For just an all around terrible horror flick, I give it a 3! But get it anyways to see Debbie Rochon in an early role!

Despite my life-long romance with the horror genre, then I had never seen this movie before, nor actually ever heard about it. But as I stumbled upon it here in 2024, by random luck, I opted to sneak it into my Christmas movie marathon, yes of sappy romantic Christmas movies, just to break the string of endless sap.

However, I have to say that the movie's cover didn't exactly paint writer and director John A. Russo's 1996 movie as a particularly great movie. And in all honesty, I harbored zero expectations to the movie. But then again, maybe writer and director John A. Russo had something grand up his sleeve.

The storyline in the movie was nearly non-existing. So it wasn't as if I had been missing out on a particularly grand horror movie experience here. Writer John A. Russo failed to deliver anything impressive with the script and storyline.

Essentially, the movie felt like little more than a sad excuse for John A. Russo to show off naked ladies.

The only performer on the cast list that I was familiar with was Debbie Rochon, and it is only because I've seen sufficiently many low budget movies. The acting performances in the movie were fair, despite the fact of the actors and actresses having a simplistic script to work with.

The special effects in the movie were exactly that, special. The gunshot wounds were laughably bad, as were the rake puncture wounds. It was essentially nothing but fake blood placed in circles at where the wounds were supposed to be. For a movie made it 1996, it was incredibly amateurish and ridiculous to look at.

"Santa Claws" was a movie that snuck in under the radar unnoticed, and it will just as quietly fade into oblivion and never be seen again.

My rating of writer and director John A. Russo's 1996 movie lands on a two out of ten stars.

"Santa Claws" is a horrible movie in just about every sense of the word. It's so bad one can't even laugh at the terrible dialogue, script, plot or acting. Director John Russo, famouse as the co-writer of "Night of the Living Dead" and Writer/Director of the emmensely entertaining and suspenseful "Midnight" has cobbled together a sad and poorly conceived story as an excuse to see silocone enhanced bimbos dance (Poorly) to generic stripper music. Not even the presense of the lovely and always entertaining Debbie Rochon, a major hottie if evver there was one, can save this dog from the pound. "Santa Claws" was obviously a promotional device for the even lower budget and less entertaining "Scream Queens Nude Christmas" (Although Christine Calveliere and Debbie Rochon in all their naked glory, even if they do look terribly embarrassed and annoyed do raise that video by a half point!)

His Slay Bells are Ringing! Have Yourself a Very Scary Christmas! The Christmas horror movie that everyone forgot. I loved it! The plot makes no sense (boy kills mom and fat lover on Christmas, grows up crazy and obsesses over neighbor Scream Queen, so he kills all the people in her life) but it's just a quick lil fun movie with horrible acting (except for Debbie Rochon, she was great) and tons on T and A.

The kills are dull and the cover art is misleading, but nothing stopped me from loving this sleazy lil movie. The killer was over the top and the script was ridiculous at times (Hard to think this was from the Writer of Night of the Living Dead- orig and remake, and Return of the Living Dead. Hm... maybe he should stuck to zombie flicks).

So if you wanna pass the times with some cheese, sleaze, and tits- pops this in!

I had pretty low expectations for this. On paper this seems like a typical cheap B-grade slasher-horror film. In reality it's even worse.

It is cheap and a slasher-horror but calling it B-grade would be flattery. The plot is very basic and what there is doesn't make much sense. Production values are incredibly poor. Direction is woeful: some of the scenes seem more like a slapstick comedy than a drama.

Dialogue is laughable and, allied with this, performances are poor. Worst of all is the guy who plays the slasher-murderer. So bad you'd think it is a comedy.

Nothing positive at all about this movie except than it is quite short (83 minutes) so at least the pain of watching this is over quickly.