Mark of the Astro-Zombies

I have always been a fan of old classic movies and even the grade B horror and science fiction films. I have grown tired of modern action films with one explosion after another. The digitally created creatures, climbing walls and slithering across ceilings have left me yearning for a simpler time of well developed characters being chased by men in monster suits. The most frightening movie monsters are usually kept in the shadows and developed in the viewer's imagination.

I just finished watching Mark of the Astro-Zombies and it is an excellent film. The camera angles and editing were wonderful. The story moved along at a great pace with cuts between scenes of actors talking and scenes of blood crazed Astro-zombies hacking everyone in sight.

Brinke Stevens gave a wonderful performance as Cindy Natale. Her pseudo-documentary portrayal of a newswoman out for a story worked very well in the film. And, she looks totally HOT in her short skirt.

Tura Satana returned to battle Astro-Zombies and match wits with Dr. DeMarco. She was excellent in her scenes. Her argument with Dr. DeMarco was brilliant. She provided an excellent death scene for Ted V. Mikels in a cameo role.

Robert Taylor as the talking head of Dr. DeMarco did the late John Carradine (Dr. DeMarco from Astro-Zombies in 1967) a wonderful justice. I think Mr. Carradine would have enjoyed watching that scene. Robert's lines were witty and clever and spoken like a true Shakespearian actor.

The lovely Nina Tepes treats the viewers to a lovely and tasteful nude scene (back side nudity).

The music and digital effects really gave the movie extra polish. The digital skulls and flying saucer were truly impressive. Jay Gowey's zombie masks and especially the head of Dr. DeMarco photographed very well. There were no actor's mouths visible with these Astro-Zombie masks. His fast and high quality work really came through for this film.

Don't miss this movie.

Bravo Ted!!

Dennis

In the 1960s and 70s, Ted Mikels made a lot of cheap films. Some of his early ones weren't bad at all (such as "Black Klansman") but most were rather schlocky. However, in recent years, Mikels has stayed active--producing even lower quality films (yes, this IS possible). And when I talk about lower quality, I am not exaggerating. Films such as "Cauldron: Baptism of Blood" and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" honestly look as if some teenagers decided to make a film using home video equipment and posted the results on YouTube. This is exactly the sort of film to expect from "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"--a film with such low production values that it is WORSE than an Ed Wood flick!!

What's so bad about "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"? Everything. The actors are all non-professionals, his 'monsters' are laughable and sport cheap rubber masks (I especially had to laugh at the lizard people!!!), there appears to be no script, much of the film is missing and cheap messages scroll at the bottom of the screen to fill in the gaps and the entire production seems to have cost Mikels, perhaps, $89.99. Apart from a few trick machetes, the masks and LOTS of fake blood and some VERY cheap CG, I have no idea what Mikels else could have spent any money on--especially since he already seemed to have the home video cameras from his previous direct-to-video and DVD releases. The overall production is at least as bad as recent films like "Birdemic", "Troll 2" and "The Room"...no, I actually think "The Room" is better! However, deciding whether any of these are worse than "Mark of the Astro-Zombies" is like deciding which is worse--Ebola, the Black Plague or Typhoid!!! A truly horrible film that would have made the IMDb Bottom 100 list had it received wider distribution.

This movie is more like Corpse Grinders 2 than Astro-Zombies. And wouldn't you know it, both movies have the same star. So 2 different types of aliens come to Earth and create robot zombies to take over. Even though they have the technology to get here, their weapon of choice is a machete. There is literally 30 minutes of people grabbing their necks and zombies sharpening machetes. Then there's a 3rd type of alien. Minus 5 stars.

If this film didn't have some kind of self-conscious humor to it, it would be pretty much worthless. The production values are equivalent to MILF-hunter or a school bus safety video. But there is no exploitation really (not even on a level with the bus video). The only thing that really gave me a laugh was when the zombies were on the loose in the mall. It was nice to see Satana up there on the big screen again after all these years (but then again, I wasn't around for the first time, so why not just rent another classic Satana flick and leave this one behind?).

I have the feeling this one kept everyone busy, but not much else.

Rogue aliens have arrived in their CGI ship, seeking to conquer the Earth with their army of machete-swinging Astro-Zombies.

Watch out! These homeless-people-turned-actors can shamble rather swiftly!

Watch agog! As the Astro-Zombies slaughter unwary extras!

See! The interior of the alien ship, which reveals the latest in cardboard and Styrofoam technology!

Thrill! While the US government responds, meeting in what appears to be a teacher's lounge!

Shot on video tape, MARK OF THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES is Auteur Ted V. Mikels' magnum opus of cinematic mastery. It includes a touching tribute to John Carradine's disembodied head!

Indeed, the schlock gods have brought this down from heaven...