Biker Zombies from Detroit

This is, without a doubt, THE WORST FILM I've ever seen in my life. There's no plot, no story, almost non-existent dialogue (that which is there is about nothing, non-existent sex acts made up by the "cool" biker teens, and 1/3 cursing), awful make-up, awful fx, AND no ending! It's stupid and pointless. I don't know why trash like this is made, especially making it to DVD. It's the director (Todd Brunswick) and writer's (John Kerfoot) first film and it shows. If I were them, I'd go back to or for the first time enter beginner's film school. They got one thing perfect though; their tagline: Evil Never Looked So Bad. It looked so bad it was sad.

Biker Zombies from Detroit is not worth watching. Trust me, I'm the type of guy who watches every horror movie I can, and who tries to see the best in even the worst of films, but this "movie" is no film. It looks and sounds like it was recorded on an iphone. The script does not flow, and the actors trip on their own lines. They must have been so concentrated on saying the script exactly as it was written that they lost the natural sound of conversation. With a name like Biker Zombies from Detroit you know not to expect the greatest plot, but at least you got what it promised. Lots of bikes, decent zombie costumes, and some gore. Another chief problem with this film were the props, costumes, and setting. The filmmakers must have used what they had. The actors wore the clothes that they no doubt wear every day of their life. The settings included their own homes, and the local dinner in their hometown. I'm sure the actors, and film crew had a fun time filming this, thinking that they are becoming part of a genre that they enjoy, but this film is just an exercise in fandom, nothing more.

An ancient evil force transforms murderers, drug dealers and prostitutes of Detroit into an army of motorcycle riding zombies to reclaim the world they lost eons ago. Meanwhile, a teenage boy (Tyrus Woodson) and his mom moves into the suburban part of Detroit. Unfortunately for the teen he is transformed into one of them and goes on his own rampage.

Cheap looking zombie film is pretty bad. How bad? Very bad. There's absolutely no redeeming qualities found in this travesty. Repellent gory effects, editing, sound and lack of plot makes this one of the worst zombie films of the genre. Not even good for a few laughs. My evaluation: (no stars).

OH my god definitely on the top 10 worst movies ever made. NO PLOT!!! who was the main character? The guy or the girl. how many times could they have made that cop say " Ill be in the car" ha ha my throat hurt the next day from hurting from laughing so hard no ending what was the purpose of them going after the kid why was there biker zombies in the first place if i ever saw it for sale i would buy it on the spot it was so idiotically funny if you ARe looking for a horror movie stay away from biker zombies but if you are looking to laugh so hard your stomach hurts get this and never return it

Okay, I saw this "movie" months ago, but it has had a lasting impression on me. Since seeing this movie, I have contemplated suicide on over a dozen occassions. I can't get over how embarrassingly horrible this was. It was like watching a bad high school production from the kids you hated most in high school. This is just flat out poor. It's as though somebody just wanted to make a zombie movie...and yet, where are the frickin zombies?! Instead what we get are giant smurfs with fake blood squirting here and there.

The acting is a joke. No offense to the actors, but they are all terrible. And so unappealing to look at. From the Chachi-looking lead, to the big-bosomed girl (who doesn't even do a nude scene...thanks alot!) to the annoying porky girl in the diner who blabs about digital filmmaking (haha, not). As for the movie itself, the director and producer are related...must be one of those dynamic husband and wife filmmaking duo's, like nancy meyers and charles shyer or something. Well, these people are a joke. How dare they try and pass themselves off as legitimate filmmakers. They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a "movie", and wasting so many people's time and effort. They only took 90 minutes of my time...but those 90 minutes of my life they robbed seemed to last 90 years. Hell, the opening credits sequence took up about 84 of the 90 minute running time! Ahh, just thinking about this movie makes me sick. Enough.

Oh, and I see that this filmmaking team is working on more projects. Great, I can't wait. I'll alert the Academy. Ugh, idiots.