The 75th Annual Academy Awards

The actually ceremony has already been effectivly reported on by my esteemed colleagues below, so I will retrict this to why I watched.One of the previous reviewers obviously likes Olivia de Havilland but is wrong saying she is the only one still alive after 59 years.There was an actress, revealed in the group portrait, who won in the 1930's and is the oldest winning Oscar survivor but I cannot remember her name.For me this group portrait is more entertaining than listening to all and sundry saying "Thankyou" all evening.

My particular favourite is Jennifer Jones, who won best actress for "Song of Bernadette "(1943) in the 1944 ceremony.I have watched and own videos of every one of her movies from 1939-1974 and have taped most of her screened personal appearances since then.Film fans know she makes very rare public appearances so any glimpse is to be treasured.I have photos of her from age 2 until her present age 84 from her available biographies, memoirs of her and from contemporary magazines etc.I also make regular contributions to her tribute web site.Long may she live!!

This year's Academy Awards showed how politics are always in the mix, and I don't mean with America's current situation with Iraq. What I mean is that there seems to be an (unintentional?) fix with two particular movies of the evening- Chicago and Gangs of New York. Chicago went away with six, SIX Oscars, for being merely an over-rated re-tread of dumb, glitzy, Hollywood (Hollwood the key word) musicals, where there are occasionally catchy scenes- terribly brought down by the need for Richard Gere and John C. Reilly to try for big performances and can barely manage mediocre. Gangs of New York, on the other hand (a personal favorite from last year), which was the film with the second most amount of nominations (Chicago had 13, Gangs with 10), walked away with none, NONE. This isn't the first time this sort of syndrome has happened to a great movie (The Insider in 99, Psycho in 60, Clockwork Orange in 71), but this was a tad ridiculous.

Does the Academy feel a certain dis-affection towards the man, Martin Scorsese, and his little gem of a history lesson? I can respect that Roman Polanski got the Oscar for The Pianist, as it did deserve it in many respects (certainly the best European direction, and as the Palme D'Or at Cannes last year it was a clear choice over the numb flamboyancy of Rob Marshall's Chicago); however in all honesty, why give the Oscar to someone who isn't allowed in the country to receive it personally, when the guy who deserved it for best AMERICAN direction, anyway, looses? Is there a curse upon Scorsese that any year he makes a picture worthy of at least ONE Oscar, even outside of direction (i.e. Dante Ferreti's production design is some of the finest and most original ever, loosing to Chicago, which won basically for an adaptation of a design from the musical!). Only time will tell...

Having said that, I did enjoy some parts of the show when it wasn't filled with the usual fodder of montage-adulation, and the song in the background as the winner walking up being "all that jazz". Steve Martin did a respectable, pretty funny job, not to the absolute caliber of the first job, but with some fresh jabs at the industry (the two best being with Nicholson and Borgnine). Michael Moore getting a definitely deserved Oscar, said things in his speech that made some "boo", but really, it made a sense in its audacity. Claps go to Almodovar, Kidman, Cooper, Eminem (what was with the guy who presented, gold chains and all?), the late Conrad L. Hall, Brody (Nicholson and Day-Lewis were equally worthy), and for ol' Peter O'Toole...

And yet, outside of that, I felt a little uneasy watching the awards ceremony, as I probably do watching past ones. With this one though, I just got the feeling that there was a very slight rig in the works throughout. Of course I realize this is the name of the game on such a night, but the fact that most of the films that won for the headline factor of the film instead of the films themselves is eerie...then I remember that in the overall scheme of things in th e industry the Oscars count for very little. For example, years from now, or even now, how many people remember specific images and emotions and scenes in Ordinary People? Not too many, I can guess. But Raging Bull, "that's entertainment"!

Steve Martin's insults made this presentation! In light of the recent war in Iraq, many celebrities dressed down and even did not show up. But Steve Martin made us all forget when he started randomly insulting actors and actresses in the audience.

Some of his lines made the actors in the audience literally gasp in astonishment. Here are some of quotes from his hosting performance:

"Movie stars can be straight (camera on Harrison Ford), or gay (camera on Jack Nicholson)." "He got to go in a hot tub with Kathy Bates - but who hasn't?" "And Queen Latifah - or as I like to call her, 'sequel money'!"

Martin was the best thing about this otherwise out-of-place Oscars that just seemed too watered down. I think it's important to respect those fighting for America and England, but as they say, "The show must go on," and this show BARELY went on.

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a GoodFella... sorry, I'll start again.

As far back as I can remember, I've been tuning into the Oscars; first the edited highlights while living in Barbados and stuck with CBC Channel 8, then the coverage on CNN (when they still carried showbiz stuff), and then when I returned to England, it was time to sit up late or get up early and watch them live. The Academy Awards, like them or not, still have a glitz and pull no other award show on Earth can match; the BAFTAs and the Golden Globes can try all they want, but no matter whether they come before or after, they'll always be mere appetizers to the main event.

This year's, back on BBC1 (who incidentally pretended that losing them to Sky didn't matter... okay, but why did they make such a fuss when they got them BACK?), was amazing not so much for the results - "Chicago" won Best Picture? Who didn't see that coming? - as for the fact that it only overran by about four minutes. Keep up the tight reins, folks (or maybe ensure that not all the nominated songs get performed again). The segments in between the awards with Jonathan Ross interviewing various Americans and Brits are always a cue for me to change the channel or mute it, but the rest of the show...

Five Bad Things:

1. The failure of Eminem to turn up and accept an Oscar for Barbra Streisand (E&B would have been a team for the ages).

2. The snubbing, for the most part, of "The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers."

3. The continuing prejudice of the producers (apparently if you're winning a major acting prize you can talk as long as you want).

4. Steve Martin's joke about Mickey Mouse being one of "America's leading black actors."

5. Jennifer Garner appearing alongside the aforementioned actor of colour (it must have been a Disney/ABC thing).

Five Good Things:

1. Jennifer Garner appearing and a) maintaining her dignity and b) being one of the best-looking women there (if she, Salma Hayek or Halle Berry are reading this...). No wonder she was nominated for an Emmy for "Alias."

2. Most of Steve Martin's other jokes (not least the one about Hollywood willing to work with actors of any age - "Young...[picture of Haley Joel Osment]... middle-aged... [picture of Natalie Portman]... or old [picture of Reese Witherspoon]").

3. Adrien Brody, for delivering the best acceptance speech of the night (sorry Michael Moore, but political statements do not count), and for not letting the opportunity to snog Halle Berry go by.

4. The fact that "Chicago" didn't win all the Oscars it was up for, sparing us from hearing "All That Jazz" 11 times.

5. The Oscars giving the Animated Feature award to the only non-American feature nominated (though non-Disney fans note "Spirited Away" was released there by... guess).

And I'll be watching again next year...

Like a great number of other people I had mixed feelings whether the Oscars should be going ahead or not , it`s almost impossible to justify an extravaganza like the academy awards while there`s a war going on , but to their credit the producers kept it fairly low key with no massive self congratulation that we often see . And credit where it`s deserved to Chris Cooper and Adrien Brody for their dignified speeches . Brody especially won my respect as he mentioned his friend out in the Gulf . But of course there`s always someone who doesn`t know when to keep their mouth shut . Whatever the rights and wrongs of the Gulf war Michael Moore shouldn`t have been allowed to go on a political rant and should have been cut off long before he was , Jane Fonda didn`t bring heartfelt opinions to the Oscars so someone who`s not fit to lace Miss Fonda`s boots shouldn`t either . I did enjoy Steve Martin`s wisecrack about teamsters helping Michael Moore into the boot of his limo

And speaking of Martin I thought he was the best host the event has ever had. Barbed comments about red carpets , and France and Germany had me grinning , but I laughed out loud as he said that it doesn`t matter if you`re straight ( Camera cuts to Harrison Ford ) or Gay ( Camera cuts to Jack Nicholson ) . Martin then said he wasn`t going to mention the people he slept with ( Camera cuts to Nicole Kidman , Julie Andrews etc ) but the best line was about the gay mafia: " I don`t want to mention them in case I wake up with a poodle`s head in my bed " Here`s hoping Martin is the host for many years to come

As for the awards themselves THE TWO TOWERS was the only picture I saw last year that was nominated for Best Film so I can`t really comment if the awards were justified or not but I thought there was something fundementally wrong with the choice for best director . Obviously having sex with a minor and jumping bail isn`t a bad career move and it was nice to see some members sat in their seats shaking their heads when the winner was announced . You`ve also got to feel sorry for Martin Scorsese since the rumour mill has been whispering that GANGS OF NEW YORK was his last chance to pick up the award for best director . I was also shocked that the film didn`t pick up any awards on the night as Daniel Day Lewis was the hot tip for best actor . CHICAGO won best film which surprised me as it picked up a row of Oscars for technical achivements but then lost out to THE PIANIST for all the major awards

So a night of surprises and controversy . Let`s hope next year we`ll see Steve Martin hosting Oscar night where RETURN OF THE KING sweeps the board