The 75th Annual Academy Awards

I loved the awards. I taped it because I know that my favorite actress, Olivia de Havilland, was going to be there. I was touched when they gave a standing ovation. She is a true living legend and she will be on earth for a long time to come.

Is it that time of year already? Despite the fact that the Iraqi war is in full swing, the ceremony still went ahead with, as Steve Martin wryly observed with his opening line, toned down glitz! The impact of the war made for a tighter, more controlled show. Personally I thought the `normal' dress style made the ceremony more relatable without the usual extremes of fashion and talk of how much so and so's shoes cost.

The subdued air also must have contributed to the show actually finishing on time for the first time that I can ever remember. Sadly it also meant that this ceremony had the lowest live TV audience ever. The subdued air had a big effect on the tone of the night. Steve Martin's jokes were OK but the audience were difficult. Some of his opening monologue was weak, slow and forced – the joke about celebs who slept with him was too full of pauses to work well. It also didn't flow very well – with sudden changes of subject not letting Martin pace himself. And where did that mobile phone come from?! His best line of the night? `Nobody is a loser here – but we're about to change all that'.

The actual awards themselves were surprisingly surprising. We all knew Chicago would take best picture and a hatfull of other awards but Jones for best supporting?! Also this was supposed to be Martin Scorsese's year? Yeah, GONY may not be anywhere near his best but it's the Academy's chance to make up for his missed chances – but no! Polanksi is a brave choice and it was funny to see Harrison Ford, without a hint of irony, say `Roman couldn't be here tonight!'

Best actor was a real shock and it clearly was to Brody who swore twice on stage! Personally if neither of the two favourites won I wanted to see Caine win for The Quiet American – his best work for years, but I guess no one wants a film that openly criticises American foreign policy at the moment! Michael Moore took the biggest talking point by calling President Bush a `fictional president leading us into a fictional war'. His film deserved to win and I was surprised that the very liberal Hollywood booed him as they did – I guess no-one wants their stock to go down as the public gets behind `the boys'.

Biggest surprise for me was Eminem winning best song. Again another brave selection – shame he refused to perform or attend due to being asked to tone his act down. However even with all these talking points the ceremony still felt very muted and Steve Martin wasn't funny enough during the proceedings to lift it as needed. He wasn't bad but I'd always admired Billy Crystal's ability to really lift it by his own presence.

Overall a good year for surprising winners and talking points. I like it when the odds on favourites don't sweep the board. The show is amusing with Martin pretty good in his monologue and not afraid to go near the bone on one or two lines, but mostly the ceremony was pretty drab. It always amazes me that the presenters of the awards are all great actors etc but can't convincingly read off an autocue!

Like a great number of other people I had mixed feelings whether the Oscars should be going ahead or not , it`s almost impossible to justify an extravaganza like the academy awards while there`s a war going on , but to their credit the producers kept it fairly low key with no massive self congratulation that we often see . And credit where it`s deserved to Chris Cooper and Adrien Brody for their dignified speeches . Brody especially won my respect as he mentioned his friend out in the Gulf . But of course there`s always someone who doesn`t know when to keep their mouth shut . Whatever the rights and wrongs of the Gulf war Michael Moore shouldn`t have been allowed to go on a political rant and should have been cut off long before he was , Jane Fonda didn`t bring heartfelt opinions to the Oscars so someone who`s not fit to lace Miss Fonda`s boots shouldn`t either . I did enjoy Steve Martin`s wisecrack about teamsters helping Michael Moore into the boot of his limo

And speaking of Martin I thought he was the best host the event has ever had. Barbed comments about red carpets , and France and Germany had me grinning , but I laughed out loud as he said that it doesn`t matter if you`re straight ( Camera cuts to Harrison Ford ) or Gay ( Camera cuts to Jack Nicholson ) . Martin then said he wasn`t going to mention the people he slept with ( Camera cuts to Nicole Kidman , Julie Andrews etc ) but the best line was about the gay mafia: " I don`t want to mention them in case I wake up with a poodle`s head in my bed " Here`s hoping Martin is the host for many years to come

As for the awards themselves THE TWO TOWERS was the only picture I saw last year that was nominated for Best Film so I can`t really comment if the awards were justified or not but I thought there was something fundementally wrong with the choice for best director . Obviously having sex with a minor and jumping bail isn`t a bad career move and it was nice to see some members sat in their seats shaking their heads when the winner was announced . You`ve also got to feel sorry for Martin Scorsese since the rumour mill has been whispering that GANGS OF NEW YORK was his last chance to pick up the award for best director . I was also shocked that the film didn`t pick up any awards on the night as Daniel Day Lewis was the hot tip for best actor . CHICAGO won best film which surprised me as it picked up a row of Oscars for technical achivements but then lost out to THE PIANIST for all the major awards

So a night of surprises and controversy . Let`s hope next year we`ll see Steve Martin hosting Oscar night where RETURN OF THE KING sweeps the board

I watched this with a German girl while visiting the USA, only to find a German movie snatching away 'best foreign film' for the hands of the Dutch 'Zus en Zo'. The humiliation!

Steve Martin did an excellent job in his opening speech, and this is what I thought about the winners of the most important oscars:

Best Movie - Chicago. I'd rather had seen The Hours win here, but I can live with Chicago I guess... it's a bit of a simple movie but I somewhat enjoyed it, so why not.

Best Actor - Adrien Brody. Again, I can understand the Academy's choice, but my favorite would be Nicholas Cage here. Such a great performance in such a great film!

Best Supporting Actor - Chris Cooper. My choice as well. I have this thing going for Adaptation I guess...

Best Actress - Nicole Kidman. Definately can live with that.

Best Supporting Actress - Catharine Zeta-Jones. Ouch. Mistake of the year. Should've been Meryll Streep or Julianne Moore.

Best Director - Roman Polanski. I'm glad it wasn't Scorcese but my favorite would've been Almodovar for his Talk to Her, a great movie. I'm glad that won Best Screenplay.

One last thing: whatever you say about Bowling for Columbine, it's *not* a documentary. If you are willing to put half trues and whole lies in your film, it may be entertaining and all, a documentary it's not. So shame on YOU, Academy.

5/10.

Steve Martin's insults made this presentation! In light of the recent war in Iraq, many celebrities dressed down and even did not show up. But Steve Martin made us all forget when he started randomly insulting actors and actresses in the audience.

Some of his lines made the actors in the audience literally gasp in astonishment. Here are some of quotes from his hosting performance:

"Movie stars can be straight (camera on Harrison Ford), or gay (camera on Jack Nicholson)." "He got to go in a hot tub with Kathy Bates - but who hasn't?" "And Queen Latifah - or as I like to call her, 'sequel money'!"

Martin was the best thing about this otherwise out-of-place Oscars that just seemed too watered down. I think it's important to respect those fighting for America and England, but as they say, "The show must go on," and this show BARELY went on.