Hellbreeder

A woman must put her life back together while chasing after a homicidal killer clown murders her son in this excruciatingly bad exercise in tedium masquerading as a horror film.

Those of you who hoping for a nice 'killer clown' horror flick will be sadly disappointed as the writing/directing team of James Eaves and Johannes Roberts have vastly different plans for those foolish enough to dare watch this film. Plans that involve artsy camera shots, an undeserved aura of pretentiousness, incomprehensible story-line, and other 'art school film project'-type pitfalls. No suspense, no scares, characters that are hard to give a toss about, & a soundtrack that rips-off Halloween (and does so badly) are just a few more reasons to skip this film. I saw this on Instant Netflix and i STILL feel ripped off.

My Grade: F

Eye Candy: Lyndie Uphill gets topless, but it's NOT enough to suffer through this travesty.

AMAZING that anyone thought 70's crooner Darren Day would make a scary bad guy by slapping a bit of clown make up on him and forcing him to say the F word.

AMAZING that out of all the lead actresses they could have picked for the part, they chose one that can't act for toffee, and doesn't even look good with her clothes off (with or without the big, fake chest scar which incidentally, brings me to...)

AMAZING that the make-up effects can actually be worse than every cheapo 50's horror I've seen, and considering how many late nights I've had in front of my old VCR, that's some achievement.

AMAZING that the financiers didn't take one look at the script for this ridiculous thing (I dare not denigrate the word film) and didn't run for the hills.

And AMAZING that anyone can give it more than 1 out of 10. Unless you IMDb voters are practical jokers. VERY FUNNY, DUDES!

About the only use for it is as a tool in the government drive against teens taking LSD. You show this in a school campaign, I guarantee 95% of the audience will never touch the stuff. The other 5% will probably take the DVD home, and watch it repeatedly as a way of getting their fix without going to the nightclub. At least it's cheaper. But it could be infinitely more damaging to their health... 0/10

Unwatchable t*rd, unbearable, actually irritating, hateful crud, painfully dull, painfully feeble, had me hitting fast-forward, the director should be shot, but not before I get my £1.99 refund, Darren Day is the worst person alive - you have to see his retarded scene where he is covered in dirt getting sucked off in the back of a van, it is a atrocious, the whole thing is atrocious - Day even pulls out a script towards the end and starts flicking through it... my God - spooky clowns and dead kids, who gives a damn, give me a break, I'm taking the hammers to this, if I ever see the director(s) (it took two people to sh*t this out?) down a dark street, I'm going to set the dogs on them

While watching "Hellbreeder" on DVD, I was really trying to understand what was happening on the screen. I decided to stop the movie for a moment and read the cover of the DVD seeking a hint. However, the only thing that I could notice is that the directors and writer apparently were under effect of acid or LSD when they wrote and shot the film, and the images are probably based on a bad trip. This movie is simply awful, among the worst I have ever seen. There are very few lines, and the plot is a complete mess. Further, I can not understand why this flick is tagged "horror" - actually "Hellbreeder" is horrible and dreadful, a waste of time. My vote is one (awful).

Title (Brazil): "Labirinto do Inferno" ("Labyrinth of the Hell")

Hellbreeder (2004) is a horror mystery movie co-written and co-directed by Johannes Roberts and it follows a killer clown who returns from Hell and goes on a murderous rampage. This movie was a first time watch for me and it was freaking awful.

Positives for Hellbreeder (2004): The movie is only 81 minutes long.

Negatives for Hellbreeder (2004): This movie is extremely low budget in every single department of the filmmaking process. The story is a rip-off of Stephen King's It except it's a cheaper version of that story. The camera quality looks like complete garbage. The acting is atrocious and no one is even trying. The kills are lame and lack any carnage candy. And finally, the ending of the movie is stupid and it makes no sense.

Overall, Hellbreeder (2004) is a cheap and boring rip-off of Stephen King's It that exists for reasons that I will never understand for the rest of my life.