Episode list

Bobby and Liz break the news of their secret engagement to their families and each gets a less than warm response. In fact, Bobby's conversation with his folks ends with him moving into Liz's parents' guest house. Naturally, this doesn't thrill Philip and Simon, but at the risk of losing Liz completely, they agree to the situation temporarily until Bobby can work things out with his parents.

Bobby's stunning ability to advise mates how to dump girls, although rather wasted on simpleton Eddie (who needlessly mixes up three methods), has a terrible effect on his jealous Harvard fiancée Liz. She actually makes him do what he only suggested in jest: confess to all the exes he cunningly jilted. The poor pup is systematically abused all day: scolded, drenched in drinks, pinched. Only Sheri, according to pa Mace a perfect match, takes it suspiciously well; then she turns up at his home and tells Liz that she still steal away the underappreciated hunk.

Bobby now lives with Liz in her two gay dads' luxury apartment, but gets such insufficient instructions how to work the state-of-the-art kitchen equipment that his innocent attempt to make a cup of coffee breaks the espresso machine, his clumsy rescue springs an in-built water-pipe as well. Desperate to repair his honest mistake Bobby calls home, and cleverly tricks dad Mace into coming over to do the repairs for free. However, ma joins him and more well-meant O'Neil clumsiness seems to do ever more damage. This gives Simon Banks a reason to panic and call a therapist to be prepared for the arrival of his lover Philip Stoddard. Philip, who freaks at the smallest spec in the kitchen he designed and installed over the last two years. His attempt not to go ballistic goes pear-shaped, but mortified Bobby is ultimately rescued when Liz decides to follow her lover's bad example on purpose and discuss priorities in life.

When Philip sadly tells Simon that they're forced to accept, and use, four VIP loge tickets from his gallery client Preston Mann, Bobby can't believe they aren't eager to attend a Red Sox-Yankees match. When Liz arranges for him to get the two spare tickets, Bobby gets hugged by Mace--a first in years--for the golden opportunity. However, Mace remains grumpy and unappreciative, complaining that the "queers" ruin the sport by enjoying the loge luxury such as big-screen TV, rich spread, and bar with waitress. Bobby finds the middle road but gets desperate to see if anything could make the men bond rather then bicker, then gets hit another way. Meanwhile, Audrey takes Liz to a bargain-basement clothes sale--an experience she abhors (cat-fighting for rags her fashion sense abhors), while Maddy has a vendetta there.

Amazed that Liz's dad actually hires a party organizer, Joffrey, for Halloween--the theme being "favorite Cole Porter song characters"--Bobby sweetly volunteers to be a free barman, and to his helpless horror he discovers that he's required to wear an "authentic" harlequin costume. Simon refuses to wear matching costumes, then regrets changing his mind further. Mace won't go to their doctor to heal his ulcer, so they hide Dr. Moretti's preference--then meet him as a cross-dressing party guest. Then, Joffrey's own secret is revealed.

When Bobby's Great-Uncle Paddy dies, Liz accompanies the O'Neils to his funeral, and Simon and Philip somehow end up tending Mace's pub.

Philip and Simon initially oppose State Senatorial candidate Charlie Carson's plans to tear down an historical theater, while Mace supports the politician's plan to build a hotel in its place. But Mace questions his support when he learns that Carson supports gay marriage, which causes Philip and Simon to change their minds and support him. When a dead swan threatens to land the candidate in hot water, Philip and Mace try to help him resolve the messy situation, but soon regret their decision when an attractive young intern pays the candidate a visit.

To get their families to join in the celebration of their upcoming wedding, Bobby and Liz convince their folks that the other's family is throwing an engagement party. Instead of working together, the families get competitive and try to outdo each other, which causes Liz and Bobby to flee to Vermont in frustration. Afraid that the young couple has eloped, the parents embark on a road trip to stop them, but a road trip with Mace and Philip is anything but a smooth ride.

Thanksgiving turns into a fiasco when Liz invites Mace's overbearing mother Colleen to the dinner. A web of deception begins when Mace tells the very conservative Colleen that Philip and Simon are Liz's uncles instead of her dads. As luck would have it, Colleen is so charmed by Philip and Simon that she wants to introduce them to her unmarried daughter. Meanwhile, Philip spins his own tale when he tells the stuffy decorator that Liz's future in-laws are wealthy. But all goes awry when the designer pays a surprise visit during dinner to meet Liz's future in-laws.

When Audrey shows up with an unusual abstract painting that everyone agrees is awful, Mace sells the painting to Philip while she's away. Philip has good luck in selling the painting at his gallery, but when Audrey learns of the transaction, she's furious and demands that Mace and Philip get her painting back. What they have to do to get it back from the blind man who purchased it is anything but pretty.

Bobby and Liz's families are trying their best to blend their very different styles of celebrating Christmas when a Christmas Eve delivery to Philip and Simon's house injures "Santa" Mace;Bobby feels pressure to compete with the lavish Christmas gifts that Philip and Simon have planned for Liz.

Bobby is furious to learn that Liz has discussed their sex life with her dads. While Mace and Philip are pleased that the relationship could be in trouble, Simon and Audrey conspire to keep the couple together.

Philip hires Mace to pose as a typical American couch potato at an art exhibit. But when he grows tired of eating chips and watching sitcoms while on display, a famous television personality must take his place. Meanwhile, Audrey and Simon become best buddies while working together to create a recipe for the perfect sauce.

When Simon asks Audrey to make costumes for a small musical theater production benefiting gun control, Mace is furious to find out that she is involved with the show at all. But when both of the leads have to be replaced at the last minute, Audrey and Philip can only hope for the support of their own leading men.

When Simon brings his teaching assistant Lance to the bar, he decides to encourage Maddy and Lance's obvious spontaneous attraction. The O'Neils feel that an academic is out of her league--Bobby recognizes the "look". Philip remembers that Simon's matchmaking invariably ends in disaster. Philip turns up in class where Simon asked the pair to help his kids with their artistic expression, while his perfectionism antagonizes all except Nathan. Meanwhile, in the pub Mace's rivalry with Dan escalates and they get to the punching root of the problem.

Simon makes sure "by the way" that everybody knows about a TV special, "Where Are they Now?" about teen boy band "Cross My Heart" (he was "Simon Sez"). After airhead sister Maddy, who dumps Lance so she can study, gives his romantic Valentine's Day routine away to Liz at the last moment, Bobby must top it immediately, but he can only book a paint-gun session. Mace makes a third run against Frankie Sacco to be elected president of the merchant association. When their children benefit winter carnival's musical act cancels, Mace offers Cross My Heart, although he shamelessly laughed at Simon to his face, which leaves only two days to prepare the reunion. Philip gets jealous when he hears that studly gay band member Rad Brad still has a crush on Simon.

After Maddy blabbed to the parish priest about Bobby and Liz's intimacy, the O'Neil parents urge the couple to get married for the family honor. Only Greek wedding planner Leonard Thermopolis' tacky business is still free at such short notice, but Philip's snobbish objections give way when Mace promises to take him along to the exclusive Boston O'Neil club. Besides Mace's shameless lies, Philip's nerves about possible admission make him dangerously clumsy too. Bobby bravely tells Liz to make all the choices, but the talk about "forever" makes the poor groom break out in rivers of sweat, albeit for an unusually endearing reason.

Philip's plans to view the Oscars are spoiled when Mace accidentally breaks the remote control. Their desperate attempt to fix it lands them in the emergency room with a nurse who would win absolutely no awards for her bedside manner. Meanwhile, Simon teaches Audrey the fine art of "dissing celebrities" on the red carpet; to her own amazement she unleashes a hidden talent.

It's time for the happy couple's bachelor parties, but the O'Neils have rather unattractive traditions. Liz accepts an invitation to join a hen night where Maddy gets a female stripper to teach everybody to do it themselves--the major talent is none other then Audrey. The stag night is traditionally camping in the woods, but to Bobby's delight Mace treats his family to a comfortable log cabin, but they fail to tell Simon and Philip, who accepted their novel challenge to put up their own tent. As the park-ranger-clad stripper wasn't informed, she arrives with them, which gives the dirty O'Neil game away and calls for revenge, especially because Philip recently made a last-ditch attempt to reunite Liz with her more-"acceptable" ex Shane.

The happy couple goes to register for wedding presents--to Bobby's disappointment, nothing he'll ever appreciate and barely use. The groom gets dumped with other husbands, but plans a common rebellion. He soon gets distracted with "Baywatch" on the big-screen TV. Simon couldn't come because someone had to assemble a baby crib for lesbian friends' shower. Mace helps him just to escape the household store. Philip goes and bonds with salesman Lewis, but goes to excessive lengths (heights) to get from the display the "no longer sold" gravy boat to complete the perfect matching dinner set. So TV shrink Dr. Bob, for whose book signing session Audrey left Maddy at the fitting, is summoned.

When the O'Neils' guard dog lands with the gay couple, Simon finds that the beast just doesn't respond to his friendly efforts. The dog just barks meanly at him, while Philip, who even faked an allergy to avoid getting pet hair all over his precious designer home, is mysteriously showered with its undesired affection. When Bobby agrees with Mace that dogs need discipline and boundaries, like kids, Liz and her dads disagree. This starts a discussion on educational doctrine. The O'Neil men favor an old-fashioned firm hand, which brave boy Bobby "took like a man" including spankings, for which he obediently fetched Mace's paddle without question, while the liberal gay family advocates loving understanding. Audrey takes a middle road, and Bobby discovers that his parents also shamelessly lied to him to scare the kid into blind obedience.

Both parental couples are in hostile mood because the wedding is to be co-celebrated by the O'Neils' Catholic parish's priest Joseph and the gay WASPs' Reverend Judy. When Mace meanly objects to any visible gayness and sarcastically suggests "Simon" be changed to "Simone", Maddy finds enough bad blood set between the offended gentlemen to actively stir an escalation of mutually offensive--such as 'upgayed'--text proposals. Meanwhile, Liz has been multi-tasking beyond her abilities. She squeezes in the Wednesday appointment with Father Joseph (the last drop) and accidentally empties a pitcher of martinis to quench a mouth-burn. This guarantees that she not only turns up late but also makes a sinful, irresponsible, aggressive impression on both the priest and her professor when she begs for an extension on a paper; each time made worse by a most unfortunate observer. Finally the happy couple delivers an (assumed) generally-approved draft to the printer.