Evil Alien Conquerors

Speaking as someone who loathed such witless films as DUMB AND DUMBERER, Chris Mathieson's film EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS was never an obvious choice. But Mathieson's reputation as a writer of minor cult material (The BILL AND TEDs 1 & 2, MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD) gave this, frequently slated, vehicle some curiosity value. Two gormlessly arrogant aliens, 'Du-ug' and 'My-ik' from the planet Kabijj arrive on Earth with a mission to behead the population within 48 hours. Unfortunately the deadly swords they've brought meant for the job are reduced to the size of cocktail sticks on arrival. While they think up alternate plans to enslave humanity, they become temporary lodgers with slacker Kenny. Now awaiting in terror the arrival of their alien enforcer Croker they are strangely drawn by the discovery of two odd mono-browed women at the laundrette, and the attractions of hairy feet..

CONQUERORS demands a particular sense of humour to enjoy it thoroughly which undoubtedly splits audiences down the middle (my girlfriend for instance told me never to play it in her presence again) but I found it continuously amusing, with few flat moments. Despite the ramshackle nature of it all, there's a lot here that's just naive and plumb-weird enough to stay in the mind. This while it comes nowhere near the grim, unfunny commercialism of a DUMB AND DUMBERER. The difference is that the off the wall naivity of CONQUERORS is a saving grace, not a lumbering handicap. Mathieson clearly wrote out what *he* thought was ludicrous on a micro budget. The cast play the result through straight, with never a distracting wink-wink made to an waiting audience, who at first might expect some recognition of such a personal joke. Du-Ug's continuous threats of "you will die in agony!!" to all who annoy him; the weird vocal play between the two aliens and their jump suit uniforms; the arrival of the much feared Croker, always shouting "I am the Mighty Croker!!" but unable to understand how feeble he really is, in the fast food restaurant ("we've got another one" says the bored til girl); the Lynchian mono-browed women, the balloon flying device, the My-ik's obsession with Smirnoff Ice; it all adds up to a package which is by no means terrible IMHO, if not side splitting, but quotably crackpot enough in a Saturday NIGHT LIVE sort of way to warrant seeking out as a real oddity.

EVIL ALIEN CONQUERERS is the story of two superior alien beings who come to Earth to kill everyone. Complications arise due to their being: A) idiots, and B) unarmed.

No problem.

With the aid of a slacker named Kenny (Michael Weston), My-ik (Diedrich Bader) and Du-ug (Chris Parnell) will come up with a plan to destroy the puny humans.

This movie is ridiculously funny from start to finish, with so many great lines you'll be quoting it in your sleep! Just wait until you witness the mighty Croker (Tyler Labine) make his entrance!

If you are lucky enough to enjoy silly for silly's sake, then watch this immediately!. Annnd, just try to get the theme song out of your brain!..

They were trying to be bad or silly

and they achieved it. It is intentionally funny and at times unintentionally funny. Bader is pretty good (Not as good as Rex character

from Napoleon Dynamite) and The guy that played Croker is really funny once you get past the annoying shouting he does at all times. Give it a chance. It seems bad at first but there dead pan delivery gets to be pretty funny after a while. Like other comments here have mentioned that it does seem somewhat like an Ed Wood movie but this was was funny on purpose.

I recently saw this film at a Northwest Film Center presentation, and it was SHEER BRILLIANCE. I admit, I did not enjoy myself the whole way through (some jokes were a bit overdone) but I must admit, a good portion of the movie was goddamn hilarious just from the simplicity of it all. My personal favorite was the constant agonizing over nudies (they had... NUDIES!) or the crazed devotion to Smirnoff Ice.

If you're in the dark as to the plot, the basic storyline is that two alien warriors (Evil Alien Conquerors, in fact) are sent to Earth to behead the entire human race. They can blend in easily because their race is completely identical to the humans (some would say that this is a low budget technique to save money on costumes) and the beheading won't be that hard because the two conquerors have giant swords. But when they get to Earth they figure out that they only have two and a half days to behead all of humanity, and their swords have become tiny. Oh, and we can't forget that if every human isn't beheaded within two and a half days a giant will be sent to eat the failed conquerors, and then behead mankind himself.

A pair of red-jumpsuited dingbats (Bader & Parnell) are sent to Earth by their flatulant overlord to behead all 6 billion Earthlings because, um, well, ... they need a hobby? It doesn't really matter, as the thin plot is just a hanger for failed jokes, mediocre sight-gags, and the worst hairy feet make-up this side of "Lord of the Rings." What might have been a decent five-minute "Mad-TV" skit is stretched into infinity in this enthusiastic time-waster. So bad, Tori Spelling refused to be listed in the credits!