The One with the Butt

Dr. Ross Geller: [Monica is trying to convince the gang that she can be irresponsible, random, and a "kook"] All right, you madcap gal, try to imagine this: the phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.

Monica Geller: Why not?

Dr. Ross Geller: Because you're a 'kook'! Instead, you wait until they send you a notice.

Monica Geller: [a little uncomfortable] I could do that.

Rachel Green: Okay, okay, you let me go grocery shopping...

Monica Geller: No problem!

Rachel Green: I'm not done yet.

Monica Geller: Oh.

Rachel Green: *And... * I buy laundry detergent *But... * it's not the one with the easy-pour spout!

Monica Geller: *Why would someone do that?*

[she catches herself]

Monica Geller: One might wonder... but I would be fine with that.

Chandler Bing: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink. It's a hot day.

[Monica begins to squirm, and Chandler goes in for the kill]

Chandler Bing: Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...

Monica Geller: *Stop it!* Oh, my god... it's true. Who am I?

Dr. Ross Geller: Monica... you're Mom.

[Phoebe imitates screeching violins from "Psycho" and slashes air with imaginary knife]