The Love Guru

It was heavy-handed, painful and endless. The opposite of funny. An excruciating bunch of penis jokes strung together with some gross-out scenes. Wow! Penises can be short! Penises can be long! Oh, hahaha! Oh, and who can forget the musical numbers. Did I mention that they were choreographed? Mike Myers has lost the charm he exhibited in the Austin Powers franchise. And it's clear that he picked an inexperienced director for this so he could control the shoot. And why does Jessica Alba keep doing crappy movies like this and "Good Luck, Chuck"? Did someone tell her she was a comedienne? And Justin Timberlake -- well, no wonder he wears a wig and moustache throughout. Ironically, though the material is definitely for teen-aged boys, they probably won't go to see it because of the title. It'll maybe have one weekend, then go flaccid. Incidentally, the only truly memorable line in the entire mess is from Verne Troyer in an outtake run with the credits. But it's not worth watching the entire mess to hear it.

I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just aren't that great, aren't interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny -- it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.

Generally, I'm indifferent to Mike Myers' stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you won't find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.

At one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed "comedy" was absolute torture to sit through.

But Stephen Colbert is interesting -- has a few funny lines -- and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line -- in the credits, that is.

I suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.

To call this the worst movie of the year, or the worst movie ever shown in theaters, is sheer pompousness at its best.

That being said; this is by no means a great movie. It is hilariously crude, random, and quirky, but the humour is obviously not for everyone. The Love Guru uses a tried, but true, comedy formula and rarely strays from it. However; some of the off-the-wall jokes will have you laughing your face off, and will keep returning to your mind, making you laugh days after you watched the film. The acting is par, and Steven Colbert delivers the funniest performance I've seen in a long while.

Don't go into this film looking for genius or groundbreaking comedy mastery; go into this film expecting a decent laugh which you won't regret.

I have now seen all of Mike Myers' films in which he plays a starring role, and this is definitely the worst. He has proved that he is a very funny man with the likes of Austin Powers and Wayne's World but he seemed to have forgotten all what made those movies funny with The Love Guru. It's pretty bad, though slightly better than its reputation. Though not much.

There are hardly any jokes that are funny, and 95% are toilet humour or sex jokes. And not funny ones. I laughed maybe 3 times throughout, one of which in the credits with Verne Troyer. It's not helped by the fact that the Guru Pitka is an unlikeable character. For some reason Myers laughs at his own bad jokes often in this film, possibly in the hope you'll join in. Maybe you will out of sympathy.

When a decent joke pops up Myers usually ruins it by explaining the joke, like with the crocodile soup one. You don't need to explain a joke Mike! You usually didn't do that in your previous films, so why do it here? Myers comic timing here is hit and miss, sometimes it's decent enough such as when he stares at the camera for a split second after Bohemian Rhapsody starts playing in a car (Wayne's world reference) but sometimes he just never demonstrates this quality at all. Comedy is all about timing, Mike Myers nailed it perfectly in the first Austin Powers, so he clearly has (or did have) the ability.

It's hard to believe this had such a high budget as it looks appears cheap in terms of its effects and obviously it's content. The acting is not great from Jessica Alba, Sir Ben Kingsley makes an appearance and I suppose does the best he could have done with the material. Mike Myers is a funny guy, I am surprised that such a capable comedian could come up with such a poor film.

The story could have been interesting but it wasn't. Needed far better writing. Myers was given too much control and needed someone to say no, these ideas are no good. It's a shame to see it as he was once so funny. I did enjoy the rendition of Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 at the start, Myers is a surprisingly good singer. I also appreciated the unpretentiousness of the film, it's aware that it's not that good and it never strives to be anything else than a lowbrow comedy.

Overall though this is a film that is not worth seeing and I would rate it 4/10.

I saw this film last night in a advance screening. I can say without a doubt it is the worst movie I've ever seen in the theater. It is simply a terrible movie. For every joke that's funny (which are few) there is about dozen that are not. Then there's all the jokes we've seen in previous Myers films that aren't so funny the 4th time around when they appear in this flick. Many moments in this film will having you looking around the theater wondering if anyone else finds this movie as stupid as you do.

That's really the bottom line. This movie is stupid. Take every fear you've had watching the trailer, times it by 10 and you will get an idea of how bad this film is.

By the way, the hockey in this movie will leave any one who loves the game sick to there stomach. The hockey portrayal left me in tears. Its brutal ! The film is a HUGE slap in the face to hockey. Thanks Mike Myers !

On a positive note though, Justin Timberlake and Stephen Colbert are hilarious. The only time i enjoyed the movie at all was when they were on screen. I never thought in a million years I would leave a movie saying " Thank God Justin Timberlake was is it."

In short : this movie is terrible ! Don't believe me ? Then throw your money away and see for yourself.