Charlie Kelly: [In his apartment, Charlie is holding his recording camera] You guys feeling extreme? Ah, this looks beautiful. You guys ready for this?
Mac: [offscreen] I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's do this.
Charlie Kelly: Okay, okay, okay. And...
[low voice]
Charlie Kelly: action.
[We see Dennis and Mac dressed in camouflage shirts and using towels as head wraps, pretending to be Islamic terrorists. Dennis speaks in mock Arabic that would be heard in a jihad video. Charlie lowers his camera to stop filming.]
Charlie Kelly: Cut, cut, cut, cut. What the hell are you doing, dude?
Dennis Reynolds: [uncovers his face] That's what those tapes sound like.
Charlie Kelly: Why don't you read the script that I wrote?
Dennis Reynolds: I'm not reading the script you wrote. It's in English, and it's riddled with spelling errors.
Charlie Kelly: Well, you know what I'm trying to write, just say it.
Dennis Reynolds: No, I'm just gonna mumble some guttural sounds. Let's do another one.
[prepares to put the towel back over his face]
Charlie Kelly: [protesting] He's not gonna know what you're saying!
Dennis Reynolds: Well, then we'll do subtitles or something.
Charlie Kelly: How am I gonna do subtitles?
Mac: [pulls his towel down] I feel like I should have something in my hands.
Dennis Reynolds: You don't need anything in your hands.
Mac: Like a weapon. A machete or a machine gun or something.
Dennis Reynolds: He doesn't need a...
[annoyed]
Dennis Reynolds: Okay, why don't you head down to the Wawa and pick up a machine gun!
Charlie Kelly: Read the script.
Dennis Reynolds: I'm not gonna read the script.
Charlie Kelly: [completely pissed at this point] Read the- who's the director here?
Dennis Reynolds: I don't care, I'm not reading the script!
Charlie Kelly: [peeved] Alright, fine.
[opens the recorder again]
Charlie Kelly: Action!
Dennis Reynolds: Bro, can I get my towel over my face again?
Charlie Kelly: [realizing] Oh, yeah, put your towel on your face.
Dennis Reynolds: [puts the towel over his face] Alright, here we go.
Charlie Kelly: Action.
[Dennis proceeds to speak in mock Arabic again]
Mac: [pulls down his towel again and interrupts, ruining the take] I'm gonna get a weapon. I'm gonna get a weapon! I'll be right back!
Charlie Kelly: [annoyed] You don't need a...!
[slams the recorder closed]
Dennis Reynolds: He's going to get a weapon, everybody!
[shouting]
Dennis Reynolds: Everybody! Everybody get a weapon!
Charlie Kelly: Can we.. You think we can make this look more like a cave?
