The Spy Next Door

This film is about an spy trying to quit his job to become a regular guy in order to marry a woman of his dreams, but trouble will not leave him so easily.

"The Spy Next Door" is a great film for kids and adults. It has a lot of action, but in a comical way that does not feel too violent. I don't even recall seeing blood in any scenes. It has messages about love and family, which is actually touching. The plot may be formulaic, that you know what will happen in the whole film just after watching twenty minutes, but it is still enjoyable and fun. It's a nice piece of entertainment into fun and laughter.

This is a very silly movie, but I quite enjoyed it. Jackie Chan doesn't do the crazy dangerous stunts he used to, but his brand of comedic martial arts is still entertaining. The kids are reasonably realistic, with only one being somewhat annoying precocious. There are some nice bits, like a running joke involving a criminal's wardrobe. The story doesn't make a lot of sense, especially since the McGuffin of the film would probably be far more lucrative in cleaning up the environment than for the impractical purpose the bad guys have in mind, but this movie isn't supposed to be anything more than a cute silly movie, and I thought it succeeded in that admirably.

CIA super agent Bob Ho (Jackie Chan) has been dating Gillian (Amber Valletta) for three months. Her kids Farren (Madeline Carroll) and Ian (Will Shadley) hate him. Little Nora (Alina Foley) thinks that he's a cyborg. He is retiring for Gillian but she doesn't know his secret life. Glaze (George Lopez) is his handler and Colton James (Billy Ray Cyrus) is a fellow agent. His Russian nemesis Anton Poldark escapes from capture. While the kids snoop around in his house, Ian downloads a file from his secret computer. Poldark tracks it down and comes after Bob and the kids.

There is absolutely no chemistry between Jackie Chan and Amber Valletta. The kids have better chemistry with him. Maybe they could have made up a story about him being a secret nanny instead. That's where the comedy is anyways with him as Mr. Mom. The movie almost works with him and the kids. Many comedians have mined that rich vain and Jackie could easily do that too. Also I don't know why he has to wear those glasses. It's not like he's Superman and this is his secret identity. The rest of the movie is a bunch of unfunny cartoon characters. It still has Jackie Chan doing his acrobatic fights. That's impressive at his age. With a few changes, this could have been a passable kids movie.

Before taking the kids to see this, I read through some quick reviews online (such as RogerEbert.com, etc.), and groaned thinking about the 90 minutes or so I'd have to sit watching this...not to mention the annoying ads stuffed down your throat before the trailers even start.

You know, I'm not going to spend time trying to justify why I liked it, laughed at the corny scenes and dialog, slapstick, etc. - but the bottom line is I/we enjoyed it - despite it being a Chan film which usually I'll pass on. How refreshing not to get any propaganda thrown in your face, political innuendos/viewpoints - whatever, which unfortunately you have to bear in even many kids & 'family' films being pumped out these days ... just a basic family comedy which accomplishes its purpose - to simply entertain and nothing else. What's wrong with that, Mr. Ebert? I think you need to stay away from kids' films. Anyone?

So if you decide to see it, make your own judgment. The negative reviews I read before seeing it prepared me to expect the worst....which in turn actually helped it to be a quite a pleasant surprise. Go figure. So far I find it amusing how some of the reviewers on here spent so much time writing in detail how awful the film is, spending the time, space, and effort into dissecting & critiquing it as though it were the latest Coppola or Scorsese project. Who are they writing to? Those expecting a modern cinematic classic (via Jackie Chan) bringing them to standing applause ... or to parents like myself taking their kids out to have a little fun? Right! LOL.

All right, I'll admit right off the bat that I didn't expect a high quality movie when I picked this one and I didn't. What I did get was a harmless 90 minutes with Jackie Chan doing what he does best, which was executing his creatively funny stunts to entertaining effect. There's also a filler story of him being a retiring spy who falls for a divorced woman with three kids who, for the most part, don't think much of him since they mainly think of him as a loser. Oh, and some bad stereotypical Russian accents for the male and female villains too. Still, like I said, Chan provides the main reason one would watch and enjoy this movie and it's nice to occasionally see the supporting cast also get in on the action. Besides, any movie where Chan sings a lullaby to the youngest daughter in Chinese and a former resident of my current hometown of Baton Rouge (Johnny Rivers) is heard singing "Secret Agent Man" during the beginning can't be too bad...