Bloomington

The movie didn't make sense almost right from the start. The relationship that started almost as soon as Catherine and Jackie met was hot, sure, but I didn't believe it. It's like you meet the characters and then BAM they're together. There was no build up at all and throughout the whole movie, it doesn't really get any better. When they have little arguments, it arises from nothing. They always contradict their actions with their words and vice versa.

The characters were beautiful, and I thought they could have made a really good lesbian movie. But unfortunately, I was wrong. I won't be watching this movie again or recommending it to anyone.

If you've ever wondered what would happen if someone took the outline of a romantic drama, cut out the middle, and filmed it anyway, congratulations, you've already seen Bloomington.

The movie opens on Jackie, a freshman, who apparently majors in "Being Confused and Staring Longingly at Professors." Within a few minutes she meets Catherine whom she helps with carrying a couple of books into her office and the two exchange a somewhat meaningless conversation. Then we are suddenly in their classroom where Jack is classmate is clearly very uncomfortable even speaking to Professor Stark for some unknown reason (this whole bit is rather awkward) and we hear one of the girls ask about going to a mixer . Suddenly they are at the mixer and the same two classmates are there with Jackie talking shit about Professor stark being a lesbian vampire (which by the way where these comments come from ?)

While at the mixer Stark ends up catching Jackie off in a somewhat secluded area still in broad daylight mind you) for some reason she ends up kissing Jackie. Then Stark immediately asks her if she wants to go home with her to which Jackie replies no! But then like 2 seconds later, they do go to the professors house anyway. That whole exchange was really awkward and would never happen and real life (however, if it were me and Allison Mcatee, well let's just say I would jump all over that thank you very much) AND, YES , this happens a whole 12 minutes into the film and makes ZERO sense. They're already making out like it's the final scene of a Nicholas Sparks movie. Subtle build-up? Never heard of her.

It's a little cringy. But also you can't look away cuz Allison is hot.

Their relationship accelerates faster than a Fast & Furious chase scene but with none of the horsepower. One second Jackie is signing up for classes, and the next she's moving in, emotionally imploding, and possibly skipping finals. The film treats time like a suggestion. We're never sure if days, weeks, or several poorly edited montages have passed.

Catherine, for her part, is supposed to be this intellectual, mysterious, sexy professor. But her teaching style seems to consist mainly of staring wistfully through windows and saying pseudo-deep things like she's auditioning for a perfume commercial. ("Do you believe in freedom... or fate?" Girl, just hand out the syllabus.)

By the halfway point, it's hard to tell what either of them wants .... love? Validation? Better lighting? By the end, we're left wondering if this was a romance, a therapy session, or a deleted scene from a Lifetime movie marathon.

The dialogue sounds like it was written by someone who once read the back of a philosophy textbook and decided to wing it. Emotional moments are undercut by editing so abrupt you half expect a commercial break.

Still, Bloomington deserves credit for one thing: it's unintentionally hilarious. If you're in the mood for a romantic drama that skips the development, ignores the logic, and dives headfirst into "Sure, why not," this is the cinematic equivalent of microwaving a three-course meal.

Final rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

One for effort, one for the sheer audacity of having the leads make out before the audience even knows their last names and four for Allison McAtee (just because she's so beautiful, i love the way she's dressed and omg those dimples. I cannot)

The story is a little flat is some areas but the chemistry between Jackie and Katherine is amazing! Could do without the motherly undertones in a few scenes. I found myself watching the movie over and over because of the relationship and chemistry the two have. I would love for the story to be developed more into a TV series. The movie was short and there wasn't much build up to the first hook up. I think there needs to be more character development. Definitely more scenes like the library scene! I think there needs to be more lesbian love stories on TV and the inappropriate relationship in this movie would make for an extremely captivating show.

BLOOMINGTON Is generally worth avoiding.

Jackie is a former child star trying to fit into college. Almost immediately she meets Professor Catherine Stark (McAtee), a sexy psychology professor with a reputation for bedding female undergrads. After a few stolen glances and a single conversation the two crawl between the sheets. I will admit their first kiss was as HOT as any kiss i've ever seen on screen!!! I just did not know where it came from? After the requisite sex scenes and laughing and cooking together and reveling in all the fun they are having, they (you guessed it) fall in love.

Watching lesbian movies is like having your girlfriend cook you dinner. No matter what it tastes like you are going to love it because you know how much care and effort she put into it. There is the definite possibility that the green bean casserole she just whipped up is going to be pretty awful. The thing is, every once in a while it isn't half bad. This is how I feel about lesbian movies. I watch them the whole time hoping I don't have to cover my eyes for another embarrassing round of boring plot lines, terrible acting and an endless loop of the one Ani Difranco song the producers could get the rights to.

Bloomington starts promisingly but too much of the film is hard to swallow, from the casual way it treats an ethically-questionable sexual relationship between student and teacher to its somewhat anti-climactic ending.

It's not the worst lesbian film I've ever seen. but I struggled trying to figure out why this sexy, smoldering, intelligent professor would go after, I'm sorry, a kid.

I really wanted to like this film, but I saw no chemistry between the lead characters at all.

The character of Jackie exhibited no real emotional response to her professor, and the professor was totally casual throughout the film. I expected sparks to fly. You have a perfect setup, a great premise for the film with lots of genuine opportunity for conflict. Instead, it was as exciting as a paint by numbers picture. I really was disappointed that there was no real passion exhibited between any of the characters. Even the fights were subdued and drab.

As for the sex, if you are going to imply the sex, rather than show it(which is alright with me), at least make it implied passion.

The characters looked like they were just going through the motions.