Jared Padalecki credited as playing...
Sam Winchester
- Sam Winchester: I don't understand.
- Dean Winchester: Me neither.
- Sam Winchester: I mean, shouldn't it be *Dea*stiel?
- Dean Winchester: Really? That's your issue with this?
- Sam Winchester: No. Of course, it's not my issue. You know... how about... Sastiel? Samstiel?
- Dean Winchester: Okay. Alright. You know what? You're gonna do that thing... where you just shut the hell up. Forever.
- Sam Winchester: [Chuckles, then...] Look. Man, no EMF, no hex bags. None of the props are even remotely hinky. Other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all, I got nothin'. You?
- Dean Winchester: No, Miss Chandler's office was just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's probably face down in a bar somewhere. Or a ditch. Alright, so what? This, this whole... this whole musical thing, everything, it's just... is it... It's all a coincidence? There is no case?
- Sam Winchester: Unless you're seein' somethin' I'm not. No, Dean, there's no case here.
- Dean Winchester: [Upset, but resigned to Sam's logic] Okay.
- [He walks around the car to get in while Sam gets a thoughtful look on his face]
- Sam Winchester: [Turns to Dean as a thought occurs] Casdean?
- Dean Winchester: Shut your face! Get in the car!
- Dean Winchester: [Deeply insulted] There is no singing in Supernatural.
- Maeve: Well, this is Marie's interpretation...
- Dean Winchester: Aha! Well... I mean, if there was singing, you know, and that's a big if. *If* there was singing, it would be classic rock! Not this... Andrew Floyd Webber *crap*!
- Sam Winchester: [Under his breath to Dean] Andrew Lloyd Webber.
- Dean Winchester: What?
- Marie: [Proudly] Well, you know, we do sing a cover of Carry On Wayward Son in the second act.
- Dean Winchester: [Only slightly mollified] Oh.
- Sam Winchester: Really?
- Dean Winchester, Marie: [to Sam in unison] It's a classic!
- Sam Winchester: I was a theater kid.
- Dean Winchester: Barely. You did "Our Town", which was cool, but then you did that crappy musical.
- Sam Winchester: That - "Oklahoma"? Hugh Jackman got cast off "Oklahoma".
- Dean Winchester: You ran tech, Wolverine.
- Dean Winchester: I'm gonna throw up.
- Sam Winchester: [Looking around, smiling, charmed with the high school atmosphere] I mean, I gotta say, it's kinda charming. The, the production value and the at-
- [Turning back to Dean and the stone cold look on his face]
- Sam Winchester: No? N- no.
- [Clears his throat and plasters a serious, disapproving look on his own face]
- Sam Winchester: I'm gonna check for EMF. You, you... look for, uh, cursed objects.
- Sam Winchester: [Unsettled after seeing two actors portraying them and showing fake FBI badges] I'm, uh, Special Agent Smith. This is my partner, Special Agent...
- Dean Winchester: Smith.
- Sam Winchester: Smith. No relation.
- Sam Winchester: So, why this story, huh? Why "Supernatural"?
- Calliope: "Supernatural" has everything. Life, death, resurrection, redemption. The stake. But above all... Family. All set to music you can really tap your toe to.
- Sam Winchester: [Looking at actors] Where's Chuck?
- Marie: Oh, I love him. I do. But, honestly, the whole "author inserting themselves into the narrative" thing, it's just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories.
- Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester: Me too.
- Sam Winchester: Don't you have to wait until the vision has been realized?
- Calliope: [Chuckles] Oh, Gods. If I have to sit through that second act one more time... There's robots and tentacles in space. I can't even.
- Sam Winchester: Calliope manifests creatures from the stories she's tuned into.
- Marie: So... The scarecrow is still alive and we burned my prop for NOTHING?
- Dean Winchester: Oh, that thing needed to burn.
- Sam Winchester: [Watching play] What is that?
- Dean Winchester: It's the, uh, the B.M. scene.
- Sam Winchester: [Confused] Bowel-movement scene?
- Dean Winchester: No. Just... Shh.
- Marie: It's all real. Ghosts, angels... Demons.
- Maeve: I want to believe.
- Sam Winchester: [Exchanges look with Dean] You should believe. You both should 'cause it is all real. And so are we. I'm Sam Winchester. That's Dean.
- Marie: [the girls stare, then start laughing] Okay. Now, look. I'm willing to accept that monsters are real, but those books... are works of fiction.
- Maeve: And you guys are way too old to be Sam or Dean.
- [Dean looks offended]
- Dean Winchester: A teacher at an all-girls school went missing in Flint, Michigan. She was headed to her car and then disappeared. Nobody's seen her since.
- Sam Winchester: Dean, there's nothing here to even remotely suggest there's a case.
- Dean Winchester: There is nothing there that even remotely suggests there *isn't* a case. Boom!
- Dean Winchester: We came, we saw, we kicked-...
- Sam Winchester: It's not a Tulpa.
- Dean Winchester: What?
- Sam Winchester: It's not a Tulpa.
- Dean Winchester: Say it one more time, but just a little bit more Arnold, you know, like...
- [Does an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice]
- Dean Winchester: It's not a Tul-pa.
- Sam Winchester: lt's not like the "Supernatural" books are tearing up the New York Times best-seller list, and I seriously doubt this play is even sold out.
- Dean Winchester: Hope not.
- Maeve: Thanks for saving my friends.
- Sam Winchester: Sure.
- Maeve: You know, if you cut your hair a little, you'd make a pretty good Dean.