Why Wait?

As I was growing up, we had a family tradition where we would go "treeing" during the Christmas Holiday season. We went from house to house looking at everyone's trees, talking about the lovely presents, and eating delicious food. I believe the adults had a few cocktails, and it was a chance for the children to enjoy a soda pop with their cousins. My Auntie Joyce and Uncle Eugene had the most lovely white crushed velvet furniture. I always wanted to touch the fabric, but could never do so as it was covered in clear plastic. I was so tempted to stick a pointy child finger through the plastic just to feel a small portion of the fabric, but I never did. Year after year on the way home, I'd ask my parents about the elegant furniture in the formal sitting room. My dad would respond "I'm not sure what they're saving everything for - may as well enjoy it, you can't take it with you. Why wait?".

My dad was by no means careless with his belongings or his relationships. He made the most of everyday but he also figured he may as well enjoy the things he worked for. Our house was made to be lived in. We had dark colored furniture and on Friday evenings we would sit on the couch and eat pizza and popcorn while watching a movie. My Aunt and Uncle never used the sitting room or the furniture in that room. My Uncle passed away decades ago and my Aunt has likely never sat her bum on the soft fabric of her own couch or loveseat. I wonder if they regret waiting...I'll never know...

I learned many lessons during "treeing" (including how to mix the perfect martini), but the one I want to pass along today is about waiting. Let me ask you this:

WHY WAIT?

Why wait until your manuscript is perfect to show it to someone? Why wait to use the good china? Why wait until you have more time to start writing your novel? Why wait to tell someone how you feel about them?

As I write today's article, I am sipping tea out of a ridiculously expensive tea set. I handled the fragile china cup to my almost 2 year old. She likes tea and she finished off the cup and clumsily handed it back to me. The cup could break, but that's a chance I'm willing to take. I'm not waiting until the children are grown or the occasion is right - I refuse to wait. I'm working on my novel and it's a hot mess (so am I for that matter) but I'm not waiting to talk about it and share it. Life is too short to wait. Sit on the couch, use the good china, share your writing, and get out there and do what brings you joy!

We love to hear from readers - leave a comment answering one (or all) of the following:

*What have you been waiting to do? What are you waiting for?

*What Holiday tradition was most memorable for you as a child?

*Do you have any funny family stories from the holidays or family gatherings?


Crystal is a secretary, council secretary, financial secretary, and musician at her church, birth mother, Auntie, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their five youngest children (Carmen 12, Andre 11, Breccan 5, Delphine 4, and baby Eudora who somehow turns 2 later this year), two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books here, and at her personal blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade!

Read More »

3 comments crystal casavant, crystal otto, don't wait, enjoying life, living for the moment, Waiting, writing fear

Why Your Writing Needs Distance

As the saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Or sometimes, more critical (especially with writing). Recently I read over two short stories that I had not read in at least three or four months. One had been rejected by a literary magazine and one was sitting in my drafts folder. Let me tell you what happened when I read over both:

Exhibit A: The Short Story Rejected by the Literary Magazine

Months ago when I read this story over one final time before submitting, I thought for sure that I would be nicely surprised with a lovely "we are publishing you" email. Well, I didn't get that.

In fact, when I read it over, I thought...wow this needs more work. Now, I've tightened up the language, fixed some sentence structure, and added descriptive language. Is it ready to send back out into the world? Maybe. I've realized that "brew time" with writing is as necessary as any other writing process. Chalk this under the "waiting" category. Yeah, I don't like it much either.

Exhibit B: The Short Story Rejected by Me

A few months ago, early spring, when the season isn't so blisteringly hot and sunny, I wrote a short story. When I finished, I had that satisfying sense of completion. Ah, done. Yet, at the same time, I wanted nothing more to do with it. I thought revising would be far too much work.

Then over the weekend, thanks to a fit of "I don't know what to write or revise," I skimmed this story. It wasn't nearly as bad or tossable as I first thought. No, it isn't totally perfect and it needs work, but it definitely doesn't belong in the trash.

What I Learned: Distance is a Necessary Part of the Writing Process.

In both situations, distance gave me the perspective I needed on my writing. In the first instance, I realized my story needed work (checking my ego at the door, of course). In the second instance, I realized that the story I rejected before anyone else read it had tremendous possibility.

No matter how you feel, whether you hate it or love it, give your writing some distance. Want to submit? Wait. Want to throw it away or hit the delete button? Wait. As hard as it is, distance is important. I am certain that even after the nicest compliment or the nastiest critique your writing needs distance. Don't delete. Don't submit.  Wait. 

How long to wait? Well, it depends. I say give yourself at least a week. Give yourself a longer time to wait if you've been in the revising weeds a long time. In writing, it's often very difficult to give yourself a unique perspective of your own writing. We often are our best cheerleaders or worst critics. The distance you give your writing will allow you to have fresh eyes and that means everything in the revising process.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some waiting to do.

Read More »

6 comments Nicole Pyles, Waiting, writing tips

Waiting: One of the Hardest Parts of the Writing Process

Is she waiting for a bus? Or a rejection letter?

Just as the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' song says, "The waiting is the hardest part..." waiting is one of the hardest parts of the writing process.

As I write this, I'm anticipating two different responses to the short stories I've submitted. One I expect to receive at the end of June and one I will hear about in mid-July. I never realized how incredibly difficult waiting could be and how it could impact other parts of the writing process.

Have you thought of that before? Your ability to wait as a writer can influence other aspects of your writing. It occurred to me the other day when I was thinking about a short story I've sent out. I realized that I was beginning to accept the rejection before I even received it. I was tempted to submit it elsewhere, figuring likely my short story won't place or be published. Sure, many writers simultaneously submit, which is fine, but to submit because I assume I will be rejected isn't quite the same thing.

Waiting assuming rejection can allow my inner critic to discourage me from writing at all. Here's how it can go:

Me to myself: Eh, I've likely not won that short story contest. Think about how many people probably submitted to it. I should just move on and-

Inner critic [interrupting me]: I mean, yeah, why bother even writing at all? Look at how much competition there is out there. You're not cut out for this.

Me to my inner critic: Well that's not really what I mean -

Inner critic [interrupting me]: But really that's the point you're admitting to yourself isn't it? You're not THAT good of a writer to be published so why bother?

Anyone else battling that type of discussion with their inner critic?

So, I've decided to wait with a new approach. I will not assume rejection before I've received it. Sure, rejection is part of the writing process but so is acceptance too. So today if you are waiting to hear if you've placed in a writing competition or waiting to hear from an agent or waiting to hear results of any kind, wait as positively as you can. Of course, false hope is bad, but don't wait assuming you will hear no. Wait hopefully. Wait realistically. Try not to wait negatively.

Why? Your outlook while you wait can turn into your outlook while you write. Your inner critic can turn around and use your negative waiting to influence your writing process in general. Then suddenly you aren't writing at all.

So today, I wait. I wait as emails trickle in that have nothing to do with those writing competitions. I wait as I nervously check Submittable thinking I missed something. I wait as I write the next short story. Yet, today I'm waiting knowing that I am as likely to be published as the next writer. And you are too.

Read More »

9 comments Nicole Pyles, Waiting, writing process