I have begun posting the details of what happened to my daughter on my other blog
Lindsay is still in the hospital although she has been moved from intensive care. Currently she is very sleepy and somewhat dazed, also her speech is slurred. Although I suspect the speech issue is related to her being sleepy (and her previous brain damamge) and not so much something neurological. I guess only time will tell.
I suspect they will not release her until these symptoms subside. Right now I doubt that she even cares she's not home. While she more coherent that she was last night, she is clearly not herself. She is sleeping most of the time.
My family and I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers in this difficult time.
Showing posts with label Prayers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayers. Show all posts
Monday, July 7, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Urgent Prayer Request - JIP Fighting for Her Life
For information on the struggle of jumpinginpuddles see JIP's blog I have been in contact with her earlies this evening and she is in big trouble. Her plan of moving away to safety isn't setting well with the Satanists and she is literally running for her life. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Urgent Prayer Request
Please see this post on JIP's blog. She was supposed to be on a plane on her way home and missed her plane. Threats have been made. The situation is urgent. Please pray for her safety and that of two of her children who are with her.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Prayer Request for Jumpingingpuddles
Please see this post on JIP's blog It is written by her therapist. JIP is on a visit with her birth family and is supposed to be making with her therpaist each day. The therapist has not heard from her and is concerned. Due to the nature of JIP's abuse there is reason for concern. Please keep JIP in your thoughts and prayers as the new year begins around the world.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Urgent Prayer Request
Please see this post on JIP's blog It is written by her therapist. It is already the new year in Australia and the assualt is probably scheduled for the first day of the year because it is a Holy Day. Satanists believe it is important to counter God's Holy Days with their evil. So the save their most henious work for those times. Please keep JIP in your thoughts and prayers as the new year begins around the world.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Greetings
On my other blog, MiKael's Mania - Arabian Horses I've done a couple of posts about what Christmas means to me these days. With so many survivors struggling with the holidays, I thought maybe it would be fun to share how Christmas has changed from those old days at home in my toxic family to something I look forward to.
My Christmas Eve post A Christmas Memory - An Arabian Horse Meets Rosey the Reindeer shares an incident that occurred during my very early days in my healing process. The horse in this story is my very first horse, Scandalous.
I wanted an Arabian horse as long as I can remember and part of my recovery was allowing myself that dream. I haven't shared her story here yet, but that day is coming. Scandalous saved my life. She is no longer with me, but her memory keeps me going. This story is just one of those memories that are so special to me.
My Christmas Day post, Believe in Santa Claus and Arabian Horses, of course...... shares a story that to me is what Christmas is all about. I don't think about the Christmas's I should have had anymore, I think about the Christmas's I can make for myself and my family for the future. Living by the spirit of this post has put the joy into Christmas.
Also don't forget to keep praying for JIP. With her therapist gone on holiday, JIP will be vulnerable to attacks from those trying to force her back under their control. Her need for support and prayers is going to be ongoing here for a while.
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did
My Christmas Eve post A Christmas Memory - An Arabian Horse Meets Rosey the Reindeer shares an incident that occurred during my very early days in my healing process. The horse in this story is my very first horse, Scandalous.
I wanted an Arabian horse as long as I can remember and part of my recovery was allowing myself that dream. I haven't shared her story here yet, but that day is coming. Scandalous saved my life. She is no longer with me, but her memory keeps me going. This story is just one of those memories that are so special to me.
My Christmas Day post, Believe in Santa Claus and Arabian Horses, of course...... shares a story that to me is what Christmas is all about. I don't think about the Christmas's I should have had anymore, I think about the Christmas's I can make for myself and my family for the future. Living by the spirit of this post has put the joy into Christmas.
Also don't forget to keep praying for JIP. With her therapist gone on holiday, JIP will be vulnerable to attacks from those trying to force her back under their control. Her need for support and prayers is going to be ongoing here for a while.
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did
Monday, December 24, 2007
Urgent Prayer Request
Please keep JIP in your prayers. Holy Days such as Christmas are important dates for those involved in satanism. They want dishonor those days in any way possible. With all of the turmoil within her system recently, this makes jip a prime target. Please pray and ask your friends to pray. I believe she is going to need all of the spiritual assistance she can get.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sometimes Life is Even MORE Unfair than Others
Hopefully, we all know that life just isn't fair and we no longer get caught up in the expectation that it will be, only to be disappointed because it just can't be. But sometimes, I just cannot help but think that "Life" has just gone that extra mile to be difficult. It is hard for me to understand why someone who is down and out already can be hit with yet another blow. But it happens and because it does, jumpinginpuddlesagain needs your prayers.
Over the last few weeks I have made several requests for prayers for my cyberfriend, jumpinginpuddles. A Prayer Request for a Survivor - Please Read was the beginning of this journey followed by a post Some Things I Can't Explain about my own experiences and why I believe that it's important to pray for survivors of satanism when they request it.
Anyone who has been following this saga knows that jumpinginpuddles has really had her hands full. She is dealing with a crisis bigger than most will ever experience in their lifetimes. Even with all of the internal conflict and the external attacks, jip has been hanging in there and giving it her best shot.
As if this isn't enough, she has been also dealing with the recently diagnosed cancer of her sister. She has been making plans since she found out to go and visit to lend support for her sister but life has dealt another turn, the high price of caring
This probably won't make sense to those who haven't lived extreme child abuse first hand but pushing away those who love you when a victim is hurting is a typical response. It keeps the victims isolated and even in adulthood is still causing more pain. Both of these women need all the help they can get in a most difficult of times.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Over the last few weeks I have made several requests for prayers for my cyberfriend, jumpinginpuddles. A Prayer Request for a Survivor - Please Read was the beginning of this journey followed by a post Some Things I Can't Explain about my own experiences and why I believe that it's important to pray for survivors of satanism when they request it.
Anyone who has been following this saga knows that jumpinginpuddles has really had her hands full. She is dealing with a crisis bigger than most will ever experience in their lifetimes. Even with all of the internal conflict and the external attacks, jip has been hanging in there and giving it her best shot.
As if this isn't enough, she has been also dealing with the recently diagnosed cancer of her sister. She has been making plans since she found out to go and visit to lend support for her sister but life has dealt another turn, the high price of caring
This probably won't make sense to those who haven't lived extreme child abuse first hand but pushing away those who love you when a victim is hurting is a typical response. It keeps the victims isolated and even in adulthood is still causing more pain. Both of these women need all the help they can get in a most difficult of times.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Human Nature with All It's Twists and Turns
Human nature as it is means there is a bit of "bad" in all of us. That part that tells us to make fun of the funny looking kid, lie to save our skin, our covet our neighbor's husband or any of life's temptations. We get that little thought that creeps in and tells us to be naughty, then the good parts of us argue. It is the oldest story alive, good versus evil. That is the basis of our free will. We have the power to chose whether we acknowledge that "bad" and go with it or we listen to the good and chose to do what we think is right.
It seems simple enough. If we chose to do good things, we feel good about ourselves. If we chose to do bad things, we feel bad about ourselves. And supposedly that guilt that comes from doing the bad things, helps to keep us on the straight and narrow doing the good things.
But just suppose that someone knows how to manipulate human nature. They have the skills to take that "bad" and fragment it off from the rest of the psyche. Separated from the good parts of the psyche, that 'bad' looses the balance intended by the countering information of the good in us.
Once this has been accomplished our free will has been compromised. Now it is being affected and controlled by outside sources. There is no guilt because that guilt came from the rest of the psyche. Essentially the conscience of the individual has been silenced in this compartment.Without a conscience, it is easy to manipulate a person to do whatever! And I do mean whatever.
We know that there are humans who are born without a conscience. The belief is that maybe a genetic defect is the cause. The person who has been born this way still has the entire input of life to affect how they chose to deal with their defect. The world around them has plenty of examples of what is right and wrong. Even if the person doesn't feel the need to conform, they have enough input to know there will be consequences if they don't.
But this phenomenon can be created manually as described in our supposition above. There are studies about mind control that clearly support this.
Children are highly impressionable, the younger they are, they more easily they are influenced. So the younger the victim of this practice the easier it is to mold and shape the compartment into something evil. Because a child has limited experience, there is less chance the memory will hold information that might counteract programming. The younger the better, in other words.
This is the goal of the mind control that is satanism. There is much evidence to suggest that the process on small children is engineered solely for the purpose of creating Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) to trick children into choosing evil.Because evil cannot win out fairly over most people, it has learned how to turn man's humanity against itself to create a servant for evil.
To be continued...........
Part 2
PLEASE NOTE!!!! Jumpinginpuddles is having a very difficult time. She and her therapist are both under attack for locking up her enforcer personality, Sam. Her life is hanging in the balance.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
It seems simple enough. If we chose to do good things, we feel good about ourselves. If we chose to do bad things, we feel bad about ourselves. And supposedly that guilt that comes from doing the bad things, helps to keep us on the straight and narrow doing the good things.
But just suppose that someone knows how to manipulate human nature. They have the skills to take that "bad" and fragment it off from the rest of the psyche. Separated from the good parts of the psyche, that 'bad' looses the balance intended by the countering information of the good in us.
Once this has been accomplished our free will has been compromised. Now it is being affected and controlled by outside sources. There is no guilt because that guilt came from the rest of the psyche. Essentially the conscience of the individual has been silenced in this compartment.Without a conscience, it is easy to manipulate a person to do whatever! And I do mean whatever.
We know that there are humans who are born without a conscience. The belief is that maybe a genetic defect is the cause. The person who has been born this way still has the entire input of life to affect how they chose to deal with their defect. The world around them has plenty of examples of what is right and wrong. Even if the person doesn't feel the need to conform, they have enough input to know there will be consequences if they don't.
But this phenomenon can be created manually as described in our supposition above. There are studies about mind control that clearly support this.
Children are highly impressionable, the younger they are, they more easily they are influenced. So the younger the victim of this practice the easier it is to mold and shape the compartment into something evil. Because a child has limited experience, there is less chance the memory will hold information that might counteract programming. The younger the better, in other words.
This is the goal of the mind control that is satanism. There is much evidence to suggest that the process on small children is engineered solely for the purpose of creating Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) to trick children into choosing evil.Because evil cannot win out fairly over most people, it has learned how to turn man's humanity against itself to create a servant for evil.
To be continued...........
Part 2
PLEASE NOTE!!!! Jumpinginpuddles is having a very difficult time. She and her therapist are both under attack for locking up her enforcer personality, Sam. Her life is hanging in the balance.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
More Prayer Requests
Jumpinginpuddles is having an on going fight with her enforcer personality. She and her therapist are both in danger. For her latest posts visit Life Spacings Both have requested more prayers beginning immediately.
I also think if anyone has any ideas of ways of employing the light for protection, that would be appreciated as well. I think they are going to need to call in the big guns.
On the scale of what JIP is dealing with, my little bounce off a horse seems minimal at best. I slept a lot of the day again today and am feeling a bit better. I'm not ready to go out and tackle the world but that's ok.
Please keep JIP and her therapist in your thoughts and prayers. And maybe when you're praying you might consider asking specifically for the protection of the Light.
I also think if anyone has any ideas of ways of employing the light for protection, that would be appreciated as well. I think they are going to need to call in the big guns.
On the scale of what JIP is dealing with, my little bounce off a horse seems minimal at best. I slept a lot of the day again today and am feeling a bit better. I'm not ready to go out and tackle the world but that's ok.
Please keep JIP and her therapist in your thoughts and prayers. And maybe when you're praying you might consider asking specifically for the protection of the Light.
Friday, November 9, 2007
The Veil of Secrecy
If you are following the blogs of other multiples, I'm sure that you have noticed an element of secrecy. That secrecy isn't there because multiples tend to be paranoid, it is there because they have something real to fear.
I have written before about enforcers within the systems of multiples. Enforcers can be as complicated as the systems they are part of. Enforcers tend to have the capacity to be coconscious with the most susceptible and vulnerable personalities. So not only can they come out externally and reek havoc on a system, they can terrorize parts too vulnerable to come to the front that still influence the front people.
That inner terrorization can carry lots of weight in how a system functions. Fear can easily immobilize attempts to make healthy choices, get help etc. Fear that cannot be traced carries extra weight just because it adds to confusion. As I've stated before confusion is the fodder that victimization feeds upon.
Cult survivors characteristically will be set-up with enforcers. That is in the plural because one survivor will usually have several enforcers. Each may have a different role or control a different set of alters. But you can bet they have been carefully "placed" to keep the system in check.
Any survivor who is trying to get free from her/his programming will definitely be pushing the buttons of their internal enforcers. However, internal enforcers are not their only threat. If there is any indication that a survivor is not totally submissive to programming, there may well be external threats.
The last thing that cults, whether satanists or others, want is for their "followers" to think they can be free. The way the cult survives is by keeping their victims trapped. Survivors providing support for other survivors threatens the whole organization. Cults will have many enforcers in place to torture and abuse or even kill any and all who might rock the boat.
From the beginning of my journey, the agency where I got counseling was threatened and the individuals who worked with me were threatened as well. Actually I'm not aware of a single survivor or their therapists who have not had threats made against them. Usually there are stories to go along with those threats about attempts to carry them out. I know that there were attempts to burn down the agency where I went.
Most times these threats will start even before the victim or the therapist has a clue what they are dealing with. The farther they get in the process, the more intense the threats and attempts will be. So to see that multiples are engaged in covering behind a veil of secrecy is understandable.
For me, I've gone to the other extreme. I run a business and I advertise so I'm right out there in the public on all levels. Because I know exactly what I am dealing with, I have ammunition to defend myself. That does not mean that at times I don't worry about some of the things I post. I'm perfectly aware that some enforcers might think they have something to gain by killing me. But I'm convinced I'd rather be a target than to live in anymore fear.
Jumpinginpuddles has written a post, Comment Moderation
that explains what is happening currently within her system. As JIP becomes more aware of the hold her enforcer personality had over over parts of her, she and her therapist are readying themselves for more battles. The enforcer, Sam, may be locked away but there may still be other enforcers planted as well as parts that have been tricked into helping enforcers. While she is on this dangerous journey, I will continue to ask my readers to keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
I have written before about enforcers within the systems of multiples. Enforcers can be as complicated as the systems they are part of. Enforcers tend to have the capacity to be coconscious with the most susceptible and vulnerable personalities. So not only can they come out externally and reek havoc on a system, they can terrorize parts too vulnerable to come to the front that still influence the front people.
That inner terrorization can carry lots of weight in how a system functions. Fear can easily immobilize attempts to make healthy choices, get help etc. Fear that cannot be traced carries extra weight just because it adds to confusion. As I've stated before confusion is the fodder that victimization feeds upon.
Cult survivors characteristically will be set-up with enforcers. That is in the plural because one survivor will usually have several enforcers. Each may have a different role or control a different set of alters. But you can bet they have been carefully "placed" to keep the system in check.
Any survivor who is trying to get free from her/his programming will definitely be pushing the buttons of their internal enforcers. However, internal enforcers are not their only threat. If there is any indication that a survivor is not totally submissive to programming, there may well be external threats.
The last thing that cults, whether satanists or others, want is for their "followers" to think they can be free. The way the cult survives is by keeping their victims trapped. Survivors providing support for other survivors threatens the whole organization. Cults will have many enforcers in place to torture and abuse or even kill any and all who might rock the boat.
From the beginning of my journey, the agency where I got counseling was threatened and the individuals who worked with me were threatened as well. Actually I'm not aware of a single survivor or their therapists who have not had threats made against them. Usually there are stories to go along with those threats about attempts to carry them out. I know that there were attempts to burn down the agency where I went.
Most times these threats will start even before the victim or the therapist has a clue what they are dealing with. The farther they get in the process, the more intense the threats and attempts will be. So to see that multiples are engaged in covering behind a veil of secrecy is understandable.
For me, I've gone to the other extreme. I run a business and I advertise so I'm right out there in the public on all levels. Because I know exactly what I am dealing with, I have ammunition to defend myself. That does not mean that at times I don't worry about some of the things I post. I'm perfectly aware that some enforcers might think they have something to gain by killing me. But I'm convinced I'd rather be a target than to live in anymore fear.
Jumpinginpuddles has written a post, Comment Moderation
that explains what is happening currently within her system. As JIP becomes more aware of the hold her enforcer personality had over over parts of her, she and her therapist are readying themselves for more battles. The enforcer, Sam, may be locked away but there may still be other enforcers planted as well as parts that have been tricked into helping enforcers. While she is on this dangerous journey, I will continue to ask my readers to keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Some Things I Can't Explain
NOTE: This post has graphic content.
Recently I made a post on my blog requesting prayers for a survivor of ritualistic abuse. It may have sounded out of character for me since I tend to not post about the spirituals aspects of satanism. I do that because I know that a lot of people might be turned off by it and unable to hear the message here.
There are many things that I cannot explain that happened to me during that time in my life. Being one of those "logical" thinkers, I have a need to be able to explain everything. If I can't explain it in some way, shape or form, then I usually don't talk about it. And I'd really like not to believe it. But when it comes to this, I know what I experienced.
I have posted before about my feelings about God and spirituality.in What Has God Got to Do with It?
But I have not posted about the strange things that I encountered in cult activity. Strange meaning those things that I cannot explain.
Maybe part of the reason that I don't talk about it is I think that people won't believe me if I can't explain it. Heck sometimes it's hard for me to believe it so why should I expect others to do something I am struggling with.
The thing that changes all of that for me is the fact that there are still people out there trying to get free from cult involvement. I know how complicated getting free from cult influence can be. If I can do something to help those people then I am willing to do so even if it means some turmoil here.
What does this have to do with my response to a survivor requesting prayers? Well, it's about those things I can't explain. So instead of trying to, I'm going to tell you about my experience.
On Halloween night when I was seven years old, I was laid upon a marble alter. There were golden candelabras everywhere with long black tapers. On each candle was a golden medallion with the sign of the beast in the center. Sitting on an elevated throne overlooking the altar was a red robed figure around his neck hung a larger version of the same medallion.
There had been two weeks of ceremonies leading up to this celebration in honor of this "creature" and his "child." The ceremony being performed was the final step into the "adoption" of that "child."
Putting two and two together, you might already know that "that child" was me. I had been selected at the age of two for a particular placement within the cult. The five years that I had spent involved were an elaborate training process to ready me for my role as his successor.
Obviously, I wasn't going to take over as a child. My training was going to take a lifetime. There were stages that I was to go through along the way before I actually reached his exalted (their term, not mine) position. There were particular anniversary dates where I was to return for my "official" moves up the ladder. This Halloween night in 1954 was the second step in that series of extraordinary rituals.
But what I want to talk about here isn't the ladder or what my role was to be. The only reason I have told you that part is because it is significant to what happened to me that night. The authority of the cloaked figure and what my relationship to him was to be were the reasons for this particular ritual. The power used was dictated by his authority
At one point in the ceremony, there was a pronouncement committing my soul. I remember something about "the image and likeness of' before my soul was mentioned but frankly most the words are a blur. What isn't a blur is the blackness that over took me and seemed to infiltrate my very being as the word "soul" was spoken. My mind and body were flooded with powerful sensations.
Even now when I think about it, the goosebumps raise, my hair stands on end and the revulsion boils up in the pit of my stomach. The darkness was so black, the emptiness so empty, the chill so frigid. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing less that sheer, pure evil was taking over every part of me, clear through to my immortal soul.
I don't say these works lightly. The evil had a feeling, a smell, a weight, I can't even think of all the ways to describe its presence. I could feel the death, desperation and despair and all manner of hopelessness and evil that belongs in the pits of hell. I don't think I will ever be able to describe it in a way that seems adequate for what I experienced.
I can tell you that even at seven years old, I knew instantly I was making the decision of my life. All of my programming was supposed to make sure that I chose the darkness. But I did not. I screamed out for God.
As the words fell from my lips, the darkness fled and the cult erupted in chaos. That "creature" that I was to replace jumped to his feet, grabbed me from the altar and tossed me aside. Demanding the names of each and every person involved in my programming, he ranted about how he'd been disgraced as the area disintegrated into bedlam.
But again, I don't want to get off onto all of this. What I want you to understand, is that what I experienced was an actual spiritual assault. I can't explain how or why I know that I just do. It was not a trick fabricated by the cult to terrorize me. With every fiber of my being I know that it was the real thing.
I have experienced it once again since that night. On the day that I abreacted this memory, I was assaulted again. Like there was some kind of portal that allowed the evil access to my soul once again. It was the same but it was different.
"It" had knowledge of my entire life. Voices and darkness and haunting flashes perverted to convince me to change my choice. As sure as I am of my name, my age, my children, my passion for Arabian horses, I am sure that my soul was the target of those attacks. And I am sure, that all of this is real.
So when I tell you I know what one human being can do to another or how "evil" human beings can be, I tell you because I know how pure evil feels. I have experienced evil in its most dangerous form.
Because of this, I know if a survivor says she/he needs prayers the request needs to be honored. I know the fight is probably going to be much bigger than anything ever imagined. The survivor's very soul can be at stake.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Recently I made a post on my blog requesting prayers for a survivor of ritualistic abuse. It may have sounded out of character for me since I tend to not post about the spirituals aspects of satanism. I do that because I know that a lot of people might be turned off by it and unable to hear the message here.
There are many things that I cannot explain that happened to me during that time in my life. Being one of those "logical" thinkers, I have a need to be able to explain everything. If I can't explain it in some way, shape or form, then I usually don't talk about it. And I'd really like not to believe it. But when it comes to this, I know what I experienced.
I have posted before about my feelings about God and spirituality.in What Has God Got to Do with It?
But I have not posted about the strange things that I encountered in cult activity. Strange meaning those things that I cannot explain.
Maybe part of the reason that I don't talk about it is I think that people won't believe me if I can't explain it. Heck sometimes it's hard for me to believe it so why should I expect others to do something I am struggling with.
The thing that changes all of that for me is the fact that there are still people out there trying to get free from cult involvement. I know how complicated getting free from cult influence can be. If I can do something to help those people then I am willing to do so even if it means some turmoil here.
What does this have to do with my response to a survivor requesting prayers? Well, it's about those things I can't explain. So instead of trying to, I'm going to tell you about my experience.
On Halloween night when I was seven years old, I was laid upon a marble alter. There were golden candelabras everywhere with long black tapers. On each candle was a golden medallion with the sign of the beast in the center. Sitting on an elevated throne overlooking the altar was a red robed figure around his neck hung a larger version of the same medallion.
There had been two weeks of ceremonies leading up to this celebration in honor of this "creature" and his "child." The ceremony being performed was the final step into the "adoption" of that "child."
Putting two and two together, you might already know that "that child" was me. I had been selected at the age of two for a particular placement within the cult. The five years that I had spent involved were an elaborate training process to ready me for my role as his successor.
Obviously, I wasn't going to take over as a child. My training was going to take a lifetime. There were stages that I was to go through along the way before I actually reached his exalted (their term, not mine) position. There were particular anniversary dates where I was to return for my "official" moves up the ladder. This Halloween night in 1954 was the second step in that series of extraordinary rituals.
But what I want to talk about here isn't the ladder or what my role was to be. The only reason I have told you that part is because it is significant to what happened to me that night. The authority of the cloaked figure and what my relationship to him was to be were the reasons for this particular ritual. The power used was dictated by his authority
At one point in the ceremony, there was a pronouncement committing my soul. I remember something about "the image and likeness of' before my soul was mentioned but frankly most the words are a blur. What isn't a blur is the blackness that over took me and seemed to infiltrate my very being as the word "soul" was spoken. My mind and body were flooded with powerful sensations.
Even now when I think about it, the goosebumps raise, my hair stands on end and the revulsion boils up in the pit of my stomach. The darkness was so black, the emptiness so empty, the chill so frigid. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing less that sheer, pure evil was taking over every part of me, clear through to my immortal soul.
I don't say these works lightly. The evil had a feeling, a smell, a weight, I can't even think of all the ways to describe its presence. I could feel the death, desperation and despair and all manner of hopelessness and evil that belongs in the pits of hell. I don't think I will ever be able to describe it in a way that seems adequate for what I experienced.
I can tell you that even at seven years old, I knew instantly I was making the decision of my life. All of my programming was supposed to make sure that I chose the darkness. But I did not. I screamed out for God.
As the words fell from my lips, the darkness fled and the cult erupted in chaos. That "creature" that I was to replace jumped to his feet, grabbed me from the altar and tossed me aside. Demanding the names of each and every person involved in my programming, he ranted about how he'd been disgraced as the area disintegrated into bedlam.
But again, I don't want to get off onto all of this. What I want you to understand, is that what I experienced was an actual spiritual assault. I can't explain how or why I know that I just do. It was not a trick fabricated by the cult to terrorize me. With every fiber of my being I know that it was the real thing.
I have experienced it once again since that night. On the day that I abreacted this memory, I was assaulted again. Like there was some kind of portal that allowed the evil access to my soul once again. It was the same but it was different.
"It" had knowledge of my entire life. Voices and darkness and haunting flashes perverted to convince me to change my choice. As sure as I am of my name, my age, my children, my passion for Arabian horses, I am sure that my soul was the target of those attacks. And I am sure, that all of this is real.
So when I tell you I know what one human being can do to another or how "evil" human beings can be, I tell you because I know how pure evil feels. I have experienced evil in its most dangerous form.
Because of this, I know if a survivor says she/he needs prayers the request needs to be honored. I know the fight is probably going to be much bigger than anything ever imagined. The survivor's very soul can be at stake.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did ritualistic abuse satanism
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A Prayer Request for a Survivor - Please Read
I just followed at trail and found this post A Plea for Prayers asking for prayers for one of my cyberfriends, jumpinginpuddles.
I believe from her posts and her comments on this blog that JIP is a survivor of ritualistic abuse. She is dealing with a personality that is probably an enforcer but definitely a troublemaker. She has been having great difficulty trying to keep this part under control.
She and her therapist have requested a prayer circle during their therapy session tonight, 9 pm (Central Standard Time). They will be confronting this alter at that time. If this part is an enforcer, they are very wise in asking for such help.
As a victim of satanism I can tell you that the use of prayer in a situtation like this can be the difference between success and failure. Even if you don't believe in God or a higher power, please think positive thoughts for my friend, JIP. And for those of you who do, please set your clocks and pray your hearts out. She is going to need all the help she can get.
And please, read the post referenced above for more details about JIP and this situation.
Update: 5:21 PST With thimes changes etc, I found out that the first prayer circle was last night. However, they are requesting an additional prayer circle for healing tonight at 9 CST.
I believe from her posts and her comments on this blog that JIP is a survivor of ritualistic abuse. She is dealing with a personality that is probably an enforcer but definitely a troublemaker. She has been having great difficulty trying to keep this part under control.
She and her therapist have requested a prayer circle during their therapy session tonight, 9 pm (Central Standard Time). They will be confronting this alter at that time. If this part is an enforcer, they are very wise in asking for such help.
As a victim of satanism I can tell you that the use of prayer in a situtation like this can be the difference between success and failure. Even if you don't believe in God or a higher power, please think positive thoughts for my friend, JIP. And for those of you who do, please set your clocks and pray your hearts out. She is going to need all the help she can get.
And please, read the post referenced above for more details about JIP and this situation.
Update: 5:21 PST With thimes changes etc, I found out that the first prayer circle was last night. However, they are requesting an additional prayer circle for healing tonight at 9 CST.
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