Listening at the level of the Soul - Danna Faulds

I'm trying to listen
at the level of the Soul,
to hear the liquid gold
that flows in from Source,
to receive the mystery
with all my inner senses.
I can't tell you how I
do this exactly.  It's a
matter of attuning and
also choosing to receive.

It isn't so much a practice
as a way of life --

opting for quiet so I don't 
miss the gifts that come
from who knows where...

I'm not sure why
inner listening means so
much to me, but I think
it's why I'm here. Today,
what the universe has to
say to me is this:
By being yourself without shame
or excuses, you add your 
small puzzle piece to the
infinite frame of the unknown.

Danna Faulds

with thanks to No Minds Land

This is why I sit at the window at night,
to hear the Quiet of my Soul...

MM

~

Beyond the "cloak of spirituality" that we wear,
in its many guises, is the unconditional Nature
of our own Being - the" Genuine Self",
the "Authentic Self" at the depths of Beingness;
not the super-imposed conditioning of belief systems,
but the pure state of Being from deep within the
Quietness of the Soul
that has no "belief", no conditioned *idea* of
"spirituality" - just pure Being,
living as we are...

Mystic Meandering
May 2019

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Ever-Changing "Path" - a meandering

Once again Life is asking me to change my "path."
I am again embarking on what feels like a leap into
uncertainty, jumping off the "spiritual treadmill,"
and allowing myself to just BE,
letting go of the need to look through a particular
"spiritual" filter.
Although I am still drawn to all things "spiritual."
It's in my Soul, and DNA :)

I rediscovered recently how freeing it is to just be "me" - 
not trying to be more "spiritual", or something other than I am.
I don't have to be self-conscious about using the words
 "I", "me", and "my" - in some kind of pseudo "non-dualness",
as some traditions do...
 - because -
 it's all Source - expressing ItSelf. 
There's no need to make a distinction between self and
 Self, creating divisions where there aren't any.

I only need to BE, and let Source reveal Itself,
express Itself, live Itself as "me" - a wave on the Ocean of Being.

It's not about "me" being "enlightened", but rediscovering my
authentic, natural self - and just living it - just walking it.
It's a fluid "path", not static, and not always clear.

I continue to gradually shed the conceptual frameworks that
have defined and informed my "path" so far - the boxes of
belief that have tended to constrain my authentic expression.
And now trying to extricate myself from the life dramas
that have preoccupied my mind and life recently; although that
is proving to be harder than I thought.

This shift in consciousness is happening gradually, over time,
and I doubt that it's over.  There is no finish line to cross, no
destination to arrive at.  It's a never-ending exploration of the
Truth of Myself;  which sometimes feels like an
"existential crisis." :)

I no longer pursue a "path" or "teacher", but only a direct
intimacy/communion with "The Mystery"/The Divine/Source
(however one defines that for themselves) - listening and
waiting for the Inner Voice...

Asking: What is "The Mystery" calling me to now?

Mystic Meandering
April 2024

~

Photo from the internet

 

The Mysterious Creative Unknown - a meandering...

Recently I watched a series called "Creative Energy Levels on
video by Donna Iona Drozda - artist/writer, and fellow blogger.
I watched the Intro and "0" (zero) videos, (there are 9 levels).
During the "0" video she talked of the zero being a symbol of
wholeness.  That was my Aha moment, and wrote in my journal -
"I need to come back to wholeness, come back to my Authentic
Being-Self!  My Natural State of Being.  I need to reclaim my
wholeness again.  So I started engaging in creating vortexes
with CrayPas oils.

~

Twenty years ago I worked with an artist/"spiritual teacher"
of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition who had a studio called:
"Art Iza Way."  He used creativity/art as a way of remembering
your True Self.  Now, I'm not an "artist", but I started drawing/
painting "vortexes" (top down) back then on pieces of poster
board with CrayPas oil sticks.  During sessions he would show
me how oftentimes figures would unexpectedly emerge in and
through the"art", depending on how you *looked* at it -
The Mysterious Creative Unknown.

He showed me how to *look* at art (life) from different angles,
turning it, or looking sideways at it, etc., and see what revealed
itself.  Interestingly my earlier vortexes didn't reveal anything
"mystical" :)  He was trying to show me through art, that
everything is a matter of perspective, which of course depends
on how you *see*, and from *where* you see. He would say:
"life is a play of perspectives."

He has since moved his studio, and calls it "Self Discovery Studio,"
and no longer offers "art" as part of his sessions, but uses
different styles of Self-inquiry through relaxed conversation, as
well as meditation, and sometimes chanting.

~

One night after listening to the "0" video in the Creative Energy
Levels series with Donna Iona Drozda, I decided I wanted to
revive doing vortexes.  So pulled some poster board from under
the bed, cut out an 11x11 piece, got the CrayPas oil sticks, picked 
the colors I was drawn to (usually 2 complimentary colors), used a
large piece of cardboard, which just happened to under the bed as
well, and just started rubbing the oil sticks in circles, one by one,
on a piece of poster board.  I worked on the floor on the piece of
cardboard.  It was 11:30pm.

It was exhilarating and calming at the same time - freeing, just going
round and round, creating circles with my fingers and thumb.  Then
I started blending the oils on the poster board with fingers and thumb,

also going in a circular motion.  The corrugated cardboard made
imprints as well, as I worked the oils together.

Working in this way there really was no intention.  There was no
expectation of what it will look like, other than a vortex, but
sometimes it surprised me.  It is the Creative Unknown that sometimes
emerges.  In the photo above a "figure" emerged.  It appeared to be a
hooded figure at first, then it seemed to be a cap with possibly a long
beard. I clearly saw a face with two eyes looking out at me.  I gasped,
and was excited.  I get excited when there is movement from
within; when "The Mystery" reveals Itself in some way, whether
through art, poems, or life itself...

The "far away" view here in the photo gives the overall look of this
mysterious figure.  In closer views the figure got lost, blended back
into the vortex.  It is seen better in person than what the camera can
capture, and you may not see anything at all, or you may see
something different.

It'z magical :)

Creativity can bring a new sense of wholeness and balance back into
life again;  and can "reconnect" me with my "Inner Life" - my Inner
Beingness - waiting to reveal Itself...

Mystic Meandering
Feb. 11, 2024

~

Art - Mystic Meandering
Vortex Art
Red Vortex with Figure
Feb 2024

 

self-abandonment - April Tierney

Anger is a teacher
so let her teach you.

Let her point out all of the places
where you abandoned your sincerity [integrity]
along the side of the road

simply to appease
someone else-

Where you stopped following
the great arch of your mythic life.

Let her show you where you have
held yourself silent when the world

needed you to speak:
where your fierce wisdom
was cut off at the knees.

Our shadows have grown so grotesque,
we've mistaken them for culture,

but now is the time to re-member
what has been deliberately suppressed;
to prepare a grand feast for all the 
ghosts who've been starved by neglect.

Do not apologize when feathers fall
like nighthawks from your fiery eyes.

April Tierney
from Memory Keeper
note: I could not find the original title to this poem

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

I found this poem on January 8th,
the second day of "The Pause."
I titled it "self-abandonment"
because that is what I've been doing
for the last 15 months - becoming a shadow
of myself - becoming angry about "the visitor"
living in my house...

The poem reminded me that I don't have to sacrifice myself,
that I need to reclaim my authentic self that has been lost
for over a year, and embrace my humanity as part of my wholeness.

It feels good to refocus - not sacrificing myself just to appease
"the visitor"

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Insanity...

My face hurts
Maybe from the mask I wear
that belies a deeper truth;
that hides the scream I feel inside,
and a piece of my Soul that has died;
and the clenched fist in my gut - anticipating
the evening's chaos -
by the sound of ice clinking in a glass;
and the heart's deep ache
for my True Life not being lived.

It withered in the daily madness of the drama of
"the visitor" in my house that I am captive in;
dancing too close to the edge
of my sanity...

I must reclaim the authentic Life hidden inside
this dance with the dark.
"It's time to turn the lights on!" and clearly see
what's really going on here.
And free myself from this insanity...

Mystic Meandering
May 23, 2023

The line in the last stanza:
"It's time to turn the lights on!" is
from Sarah Carlson's poem - Apple Blossoms and Snowflakes.
The words were spoken by her 2 year old grandson :)

What a wonderful metaphor to see clearly...

~

When we don't see clearly there is insanity...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Break Into Freedom - David Whyte

To remove ourselves entirely and absolutely, abruptly and
at times uncompromisingly is often the real and radically
courageous break for freedom.

Unsticking ourselves from the mythical Tar Baby, seemingly
 set up, just for us, right in the middle of our path, we start
the process of losing our sense of falsity, of ridding ourselves
of illusions, of letting go of our self-manufactured enemies,
and even our false friends, and most especially the false 
sense of self we have manufactured to live with them.  We
make ourselves available for the simple seeing of ourselves
and our world more elementally and therefore more clearly
again.  We withdraw, not to disappear, but to find another
ground from which to see; a solid ground from which to step,
and from which to speak again, in a different way, a clear,
rested, embodied voice we begin to remember as our own.

David Whyte
Excerpt from an essay - "Withdrawal"

~

Inside this new love, die...
Your way begins on the other side.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone born into color.
Do it now...

Rumi

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Divine Discontent - a meandering...

Something is arising in me - calling to me through the veils
of "spirituality" - that cannot be ignored...  The Call of the
Soul - the Passion of the Soul...  The call to a deeper
authenticity...

It's as if my Being, my Soul, is trying to free Itself from its
confines and constraints - A Divine Discontent.  There's a
sense of needing to break out of those limiting constraints,
to break out of a "role", a "spiritual identity", a "spiritual"
self-image that has kept me dancing to a tune that I now feel
out of sync with - out of sync with my Soul; needing to
find my own unique rhythm with life.

"Spirituality" has, in ways that I don't fully understand,
 suffocated my authentic expression of "The Mystery." 
And now I need to emancipate myself and live that
unique expression.  I must discover my own way, and
navigate my unique path.  It cannot be prescribed by others;
conforming to someone else's maps of Reality, but 
emancipating the true expression of the Soul, whatever
that may look like; listening to the authentic Voice within.

As I write these words, I feel myself settling back into
myself again - my Natural self - not an abstract 
"spiritualized" Self - hiding behind the
veils of "spirituality."

So what is my Soul calling me to?
What is my "unique path" - my unique expression?
What is the Fire in my Soul?

They are yet to be discovered...

But there is a kind of Alchemical transformation
arising within...  I feel its Fire...

_/\_

Mystic Meandering

July 1, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

A Mysterious Engagement - Terence McKenna

Do not dwell in the mistakes of the past.  Do not lose yourself
in the castles of the future and do not give your authenticity
away to experts, gurus, government commissions, bosses,
wives, mates - take back your mind and body and begin to
engage with the fact that you are alive, you are going to die.
Nobody knows what being alive is and nobody knows what
dying is.  You're involved in a mysterious engagement where
every living moment presents you with mystery, opportunity,
and wonder.  There is no mundane dimension, really.  If you
have the eyes to see it, it's all transcendental. 

Terence McKenna

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Photo by Cate Kerr
Beyond the Fields We Know

 

The Beginning of Love - Thomas Merton

The beginning of love
is to let those we love be perfectly themselves,
and not to twist them to fit our own image.

Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves

we find in them.

Thomas Merton

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo from pixabay.com

 

Trust - Truthless Truth

Underneath the surface,
deep inside the dugout,
a place of low light,
but sheltered from pain,
lies the hell of commonplaceness,
the wasteland of self-deception and struggle.

Above the surface,
out in the open,
a place of wonder and awe,
where the sun equally shines on joy and pain,
lies the promised land of unknowing,
the kingdom of self-acceptance and peace.

Allow vulnerability,
surrender your armor,
drop your mask,
come out into the world,
naked,
as you were born,
and every butterfly,
will awaken your inner child.

Trust...

at Truthless Truth

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Passion for Being...

I want to walk through life truly seeing - truly Aware...
Awake to the Presence of the Eternal Being that lives this life...

- the Life that animates all life...

I want to See everything as Living Aliveness;

with the same innocent wonder and amazement
as I did as a child, as if seeing Life living for the
first time...

I want to be in Love with life again -
if I ever was...

Maybe loving, and living life in new ways...

I want to Hear
the laughter of Life

in my Heart.

I want to Experience the Euphoria of
Life ItSelf, living ItSelf
in all its unfolding luminosity,
in the every-day-ness of life...

I want to Embrace
every thought,
expression,
and feeling
as it arises
without
trying
to
confine it,
or suppress it,
or correct it
before it is expressed.

Let me be free from entanglements
of the mind that keep me compliant
and complicit with the world's ways...

I want to risk not following the rules,
the protocols, the agendas of others;
the well-worn paths.

Instead - rising above the familiarity
of any "path" to see what's really here...

May I have the courage to speak
with fierce grace to those who
would try to quell this passion,
to strip this enthusiasm, to
suffocate this spontaneity,
to dim the radiance and
clarity of
the

Passion of Being!

Mystic Meandering
Jan. 2011

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
reflection of stained glass on wall

(Holy Fire :)

"Shadow Love..."

Don't try to cover things over with a pretense of love...
a shadow love.

Just let things be as they are.
Your responsibility is to be real, authentic -
maintaining integrity.
There is great healing in this.
Maintain your integrity through authenticity.

Go beyond the shadow of love...

Don't allow love to be a pawn, manipulated by the
fingers of delusion,
misdirected energies and perceptions.

Don't aspire to love - but aspire to be real.

Be clear and transparent.

When love is just a covering,
an egoic pretense, it dissipates.
Let love dissipate to reveal what's beyond
love's shadow...

Don't be fooled by the magician's love.

There is something beyond "love"
as we define love.
It is Presence.
Being genuinely present from the place
of authenticity...

Love is that Presence living us...

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
2004

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Authentic Allowing - Clare Blanchflower

Make no mistake
There is no goal
There is no path
Your quest ends
Here
In the
absolute
authentic
allowing of
this moment's
raw expression

In the deepest surrender
to what is
the lens of
limited focus
softens into
unbounded emptiness
Revealing
the infinity of you

If you truly desire
to know
your Self
Awaken to
Honesty
Let go of everything
that keeps you from
authentic Being

Allow the awakeness
of the moment
to meet your
wholehearted
openness

Give up all roles
Surrender all masks
Melt
Into the radiant gaze
of wholeness

Clare Blanchflower

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering