Real Acceptance - Henry Rollins

If the world gives you the blues, if you wake up in the
middle of the night with waves of fear and senseless
panic washing over you, I am your friend.  If you're
overcome by a desperation that makes your mouth
open for a scream that never comes out but just freezes
your face in mute despair, then you and I have something
in common.  If you can't understand them for the life of
you, even though you've tried so hard, when that
dislocation makes you feel like you're the only one of
your species on the planet, I know I can confide in you.
If this endless ghetto of lies and heart break, this life-
long run of fences and flickering neon signs and night
sweats makes you feel like stopping, just stopping,
wait.  Wait...

You don't have to tell me your name.
You don't have to prove yourself to me.
I accept you...

Henry Rollins

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Love and Blessings to all who are struggling
in body, mind and spirit...

_/\_

MM

~

Polar Bears Hugging Photo from the Internet

 

Gobble Trouble - A Turkey Story

Only wanting to save myself time,
and not have to cook a turkey for hours,
I went on-line...

I thought I had planned well ahead...

ordering a"pre-cooked" turkey instead...
from a local grocery -
to be picked up
Thanksgiving mid-day
ready to serve...

But I guess I Googled the wrong key word
assuming "pre-cooked" meant the bird
was cooked in the store and placed under
a warming hood...

But no!

The story did not go the way I saw it in *my* mind...

Sent my husband to pick up the "cooked" turkey
at the appointed time...
Arriving home -- I saw the look in his eye -
that said something had gone awry...

The "cooked" turkey was frozen - he said...
We were both dismayed at how this had played...

I called the store, there must have been a mistake!
But it had closed, so their employees
could enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner plate...

I sputtered and agitated
wondering what I should do...

Instructions said thaw in refrigerator
2-4 days!  But that wouldn't do...

You'd a thought when I talked to
customer service pre-ordering the thing
she would have warned me it would be fro-zen
 but I didn't understand her Mandarin...

So it sat in the sink - only an 8 pounder,
but hard as a rock -
while I dealt with the shock...

I turned on the faucet following the sink thawing
instructions, which would take 4 hours! - or longer...
Still doable - I thought - but the pressure turned up
my self-imposed holiday expectations,
for a Thanksgiving feast
that was turning into a fait accompli...

Two hours into thawing I began to stress
about the mess I had gotten into,
making assumptions,
trying to live up to "tradition" - in my own
Thanksgiving rendition -
sitting in the sink hard as a rock,
the Turkey that is :)

A command decision had to be made.
Thanksgiving dinner would be delayed.
All 3 of us agreed without much sorrow,
after all it's just another day, my sister
reminded, and there's always tomorrow.

So now what to do bout - dinner...

Home made bunless hamburgers and 
roasted red potatoes
would have to make do...

While the Turkey gobble sat in the sink
waiting to thaw through...

I finally remembered, as I lay down my head,
that it's not about the meal
on "Turkey day" - 
but real gratitude instead...

Mystic Meandering
Nov. 28, 2024

Photo - the Turkey

 

Accepting reality - a meandering...

As I awoke one morning recently, it came to me in my
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...

My body and mind immediately relaxed...

I get that it's not about getting my life back, as I have been
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...

I've heard this all before,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,

It's about accepting impermanence,
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...

Not trying to recapture, or restore everything
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...

But letting go of the idea that Life has to be/go
a certain way...

There was great *relief* in realizing this
- a profound acceptance of reality...

I felt freed of everything that has bound me:
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...

And also realized that I have been resisting the little
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.

*Everything* changes, *everything* dies,
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...

It is the natural way of life itself;

it *is* the reality.

I'm going to die (my body that is) at some point and
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...

But I keep trying to make this current experience
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.

I was almost euphoric,
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...

(although this shift is gradual, as I discovered)...

Everything is impermanent, transient...

I'm accepting (ongoing) that reality...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 8, 2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Overwhelmed...

Tired of being"on top of things"
"putting out fires", making decisions
for others who aren't available to themselves.

I'm going to hang a shingle out -

"Not Available Today
Taking Care of Myself
And Don't ask me about tomorrow..."

We'll see how far I get with that.

I'm finally being honest with myself,
and everybody else...

Is this unloving, uncompassionate;
to save one's own sanity;
to not put others first;
to not be self-sacrificing...

I finally "let go" of having to be emotionally available,
trying to be constantly available.
I finally just stopped...

We'll see how long that lasts,
as life as it is still requires me to be...
- available...
I can't just stop - caring,
being kind..

However I can't engage in
 life as it is anymore.

A change is needed.

I "accept what is",
but my Soul needs something more...

Life as it is, as I'm living it, is a spirit killer
and I can't apply more "spiritual band aids"
- I bleed right through them.

I take a deep breath
Tension drains from the body ...

I'm not able to attend to life, 
I need Life to attend to me!
(Oh I forgot, there is no "me",
 or so some say..)
Is this self-centered, narcissistic,

indulging in my dark side?
Or - LIFE-centered...
I'm not sure anymore...

Although the "spiritual pundits" will
tell me the "I"  that I Am can't be broken;
that somewhere within there is an
"Unbrokenness" -
once found, not lost;

I evidently can't access it.
I carry too many burdens...

So I'm embracing my brokenness
and letting it be real,
letting it be seen - no longer hidden
behind "spirituality."

~

There are so many of us broken - fractured
in some way...

And non-duality tells us that can't be so;
that there is no 'self/me" to be broken.

I'd rather be broken, than an obnoxious
pretender spouting cliches to the masses
of broken people who want to believe in
their unbrokenness -
but who secretly wish
to put out a sign:

"Not Available"

Mystic Meandering

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

It Floats Us - Ivan Granger

The vast flood
Rolls onward
But yield yourself,
And it floats you upon it.

Ikkyu

Day after day, experience after experience, terrors and tragedies,
joys and victories, everything  - life.  It can feel like an onslaught.

Most of us learn to dampen down the awareness in order to cope
and mimic those around us.

Yet even with dimmed senses we feel overwhelmed.

But yield yourself,
And it floats you upon it.

This is the liberating wisdom of surrender.

Most of our intense efforts in life, whether directed toward work,
family, even spirituality, are about trying to control the flow
of life.  We want to master the flood, bring it under our will.
We want to tame it so we can be safe.

But it never really works.

The lifelong effort is like a duck on a great river who imagines
he controls the current by the action of his paddling feet.

When he happens to face downstream - Amazing!  The river goes
just where he commanded!  When he turns left or right, he imagines
that he needs to increase his effort and improve his technique to get
the river flowing where he wants.  And when he turns downstream -
Calamity!  He has lost control of the river.

Or...  he can just sit on top of the river and let its current carry him.

Yielding ourselves to this great river, no longer imagining that we
can control it, we can finally begin to discover its true nature and
direction - and beauty.  We come to see its flow as a unifying harmony
and not a threat. Importantly, we notice our natural buoyancy.  
We are built to float upon it.

Commentary by Ivan Granger
at Poetry Chaikhana

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
(didn't have a picture of a duck :)

 

"Choice"/No-Choice - a meandering...

"... it is not necessary to accept the choices handed
down to you by life as you know it.  There is more
to it than that - no one HAS to do something he
doesn't want to do for the rest of his life."

Hunter S. Thompson

The Proud Highway

from Whiskey River

~

A Meandering...

While I would like to agree with the above quote,
from my own personal experience, there are times
when you are placed in a position of "no choice" in an
"untenable" (impossible) situation; some call it the
"choiceless choice."

That happened to us a year ago - because we couldn't just
turn our backs on a family member and send her out to
be homeless on the streets (as some suggested we do),
where she obviously wouldn't survive;  nor drop her off
at Rehab, where she refused to go.  We were told we
couldn't put her in a Nursing Home/Care Facility against
her will, as she was still capable of making her own
decisions - and made it clear she wouldn't go!
You can't force someone to go where they don't want to
go, as much as we would have liked to.  We felt we had
no other choice but to take her in, while looking for
alternative places for her to stay, that never worked out.

We were always told we were in an "untenable situation" -
because there was no other choice, no other workable option...

It is what it is - I know...  What's so is what's so - yes...

Accept and Navigate... okay

So we navigate the rough waters daily, struggling to keep
from drowning in an ongoing impossible situation..

~ 

Beware of simplistic answers to sometimes complex
situations that Life hands you...

MM

Blessings to all who are dealing with "untenable"
life situations and challenges...

_/\_

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Foliage Mosaic

 

"Keys" - a meandering

On my "spiritual meanderings" over the years, I have learned
many things, discovered many "truths"; found 3 "keys", although
I'm sure there are more.

Maybe you have discovered a different set of "keys" for yourself.
But I wanted to share the ones I found in this meandering...

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

Experiencing The Divine Within

Today the "Divine Mother" is silent.
But I feel Her energy in the stillness of waking.
She vibrates in my body, as I hold my heart
with my hands over my chest, grateful for Her
Presence...

My "reason to live" is this felt connection with
"The Divine Mother"; directly experiencing Her
Presence vibrating through me...

I learned from "Her" that I must turn inward and always
keep my awareness open to "Her" - with the inner ear -
listening for Her silent "voice" and unspoken words;
with the inner eye - "seeing" through the mental obscurations
that blind me; and - sensing Her Presence always within me.

"The Mother of the Universe" - however one names "Her" - is
ultimately, for me, not a persona, or deity, although I give Her
a name: "The Divine Mother."  I could call Her "The Sacred",
"The Beloved", "The Ineffable", but "Divine Mother" seems 
more personal, more relatable...

"She, however called, is the Energy that permeates all things;
that becomes all form in matter reality,
the Primal Energy that infuses us and
communes with every cell of our being -
enlivening and comforting...
I need to bask in Her Essence...

In this pool of Primal Energy all worries subside,
mentations give way, and "I" feel closer to my own true
Essence.

Mystic Meandering
Aug. 7, 2023
Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

July 18, 2023

Blessing

Today I started asking for blessings for people in my life.
Don't know why.  It just seemed like the natural thing
to do with so many people suffering in this world now,
feeling helpless to help them...

When I asked a blessing I began to feel a vibration in my
body, as if there was some kind of energy moving through me...

First Blessing

I ask a blessing on "the visitor"
that came to live here 10 months ago,
so that she may be free at last;
not in constant mental torture,
re-hashing her past - but free to
move on.

I ask that "The Divine Mother" would
be merciful to her, and relieve her of her
suffering, so that she can truly be at peace.

I ask a blessing on this whole situation!

I ask a blessing on this house!

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

Acceptance

I don't know when I first came across the concept of
 "accepting what is" but it has been a recurring theme
 in my life experience.  I remember listening to a
guided meditation in the early 2000's by Adyashanti
 on "Allowing everything to be as it is."  And around
 the same time I read a book by Tara Brach called
Radical  Acceptance.  And Byron Katie's - Loving
What Is.  Then recently a book by Frank Ostaseski
called The Five Invitations.  One of the invitations is
 to Welcome Everything, push nothing away.
And this quote below by Jeff Foster from his book
 The Deepest Acceptance that I read sometime in 2014...

~

"Freedom is found not through escaping the present
experience, but by diving fearlessly into its hidden depths...

If we are to be truly free - we must face reality with open
 eyes. We must move away from denial, wishful thinking,
and hoping and tell the truth about life as it is. Great
freedom lies in admitting the truth of this moment, 
however much it clashes with our dreams and plans
 - self-image [or spiritual teachings]... Acceptance is about
seeing reality, seeing things as they actually are, not
 as we wish them to be.  And from that place of 
alignment with what is, all creative, loving and
 intelligent actions flow naturally.

Great freedom lies in fearlessly facing the darkness
and finally coming to see that the darkness is inseparable
 from light...  Life cannot be good or bad. 
  Life is simply life..."

Jeff Foster

Photo from the Internet

~

Accepting life as it is, is still a challenge for me, but I
 know it is a "key" - for when I "accept" someone the way
 they are,  kindness and compassion arise to meet them.
 Accepting what is means I recognize the things I can
 change, and the things I can't. I give up trying to "control"
the person or situation, and just let things/people be as/
who they are...

Even if I think they should be otherwise :)

_/\_

Blessings

MM

~

Keys Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

"Spiritual Practice" - Frank Ostaseski

Authentic "spiritual practice" is not about maintaining high
altered states, transcending the body, bypassing difficult emotions,
or healing all that remains unresolved within us.  "Spiritual
practice" helps us settle into the utter simplicity of being ourselves...
The healing happens when we bring awareness to the places
that have been hardened in us through the conditioned habits
of grasping, resistance and avoidance.

Mindfulness [awareness] is the deconditioning [of those habits].
Then things are free to be as they are.  We allow the difficult,
dark and dense.  We become more intimate with our full humanity
and discover an ever-deeper, vast sense of wholeness.

Being who you are can only arise from
accepting where you are.

Frank Ostaseski
The Five Invitations

~

Photo from the internet

 

Openness - Frank Ostaseski

Openness.....is a willingness to look into what arises,
to work with it, and relate to it with curiosity.

Openness doesn't reject or get attached to a particular
experience or view.  It is about allowing experience to
unfold, having tolerance of the unknown, letting go of
expectations.

Welcoming what is, as it is, we move toward reality.
We may not like or agree with all that we encounter.
However, when we argue with reality we suffer.
We waste our energy and exhaust ourselves with the
insistence that life be otherwise.  We often have little
control over the external circumstances of our own lives.
However, we have a great deal of choice about how we
relate to and learn from the cards life deals us.  We build
resilience by allowing ourselves to experience what we
are feeling in any given situation, whether good or bad.
Until we come to accept life with all its madness and
inspiration, we feel cut off, separate and isolated.

Acceptance is not resignation.  It is an opening - to
a skillful response to life.

Opening allows experiences to enter and allow for our
responses to emerge and be expressed...

Frank Ostaseski

from The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Life as it is - a meandering

Religion is a heavy mantle some people wear -
robes of ritual, dogma and doctrine...

Advaita is a heady game some people like to play -
self/no-self?

Non-duality - a conundrum -
not two - but not one...

I'm tired of all these heavy "games" I've played
in the "Spiritual Game"...

It's time for me to just step out of the way -
to let myself unfold -
and not entangle myself in the many webs
that constrain and constrict that Flow.

Maybe some ancient saint or sage had it all figured out -
maybe not...

My inner sage tells me it's about acceptance,
about empathy, compassion; about living life as it is
the best I can without living up to some "spiritual"
ideal: Someone else's beliefs, someone else's "way",
someone else's "truth"; the "right" perspective, or
"right" thinking... 

Needing to listen to the
deeper Rhythm of my own Soul/Essence/Being...

But strong primal instincts arise,
unable to "spiritualize"
the rawness of emotions into - pretty language...

The practicality of Buddhist Wisdom draws me now -
not as a religion or belief system, but as day to day
wisdom for getting through...
The wisdom of accepting what is, of just being present,
of mindfulness, of caring and compassion, of stepping
out of the way of the experience and just seeing what unfolds,
letting go of expectations, the need for solutions,
 and the need to control - allowing life to happen
as it does...

No more lofty goals of "enlightenment" -
just fulfilling the requirements of ordinary daily living
in the midst of global and personal chaos
- in my new role as "caregiver" -
doing what needs to be done
as life keeps living itself
 as it is...

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 12, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Hubby and Emmy sleeping....

 

Exploring Emotions - Kathleen Knipp

The goal is not to replace one's experience with another...
but accepting the entirety of life...  Be fully present for
what is here - instead of distracting ourselves...
Be intimately with yourself [using] somatic inquiry
into what's being felt and how it expresses itself as
sensation [in the body] getting a sense of what is
felt in the body.

You can also use inquiry to get a sense of what is
really Essential, what is really pulling you to what really
matters for you, using whatever we have as inner resource
or inner sanctuary...  What helps us to feel safe and feel what
is here.  Make the feeling sense as vivid as possible.

Our approach to meeting whatever is present is not aggressive,
but of receiving and welcoming.  What is seeking to be felt -
feel what presents itself.  What is the sensation you are drawn
to repeatedly?  Can you feel it without interpretation?

Let the emotion present itself and meet it.
What does it actually feel like?  Is there a part of the body
where this emotion expresses itself, or does it move around?
If there is no particular emotion present, be with what is here...

Slide behind the emotion, even dive inside, feel it from the
inside without conclusions, explanations, or stories.  Focus on
the sensation and be curious with wide open availability and
fully embodied...

Kathleen Knipp
Excerpts from a Yoga Nidra Meditation

 

Acceptance - Werner Erhard

The thought that there is something wrong is an illusion;
there is nothing wrong, there is only what's so.  Notice when
you're comparing what's so to some fantasy about how it
should be.  Bring yourself back to what's so and it will be O.K.
Ask yourself what's so, and align with that.  Align with what's so
and it will not matter.  That is the foundation of transformation...
Not aligning with what's so is the only thing that will ever 
bring you hardship or suffering.  Life in what's so will bring you
harmony and grace and balance...

Werner Erhard

~

"acceptance is the compass"
Mitch Rosacker

~

Acceptance for what is, is not resignation.  It does not
mean one doesn't do anything about their life situation.
It's the acceptance of the way life is - and you use 
acceptance to navigate through life - to see
what actions need to be taken, or not taken, at any
given moment.

Acceptance is the key

MM

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering 

Sometimes your life is just full of weeds :)

 

 

Dare To Be Imperfect - Fred LaMotte

A life-coach told me,
"you're perfect right now."
So I went home and tried it,
but found it boring.

Who would be Me
if I didn't keep

[messing] things up
in my own peculiar way?
Blemishes delight me,
define me, jagged edges,
the letters of my true name.
Call me Broken Buddha,
the Half-Awake.
This universe just wouldn't
be the same without
my sins.
I am more priceless uncut,
like a ruby in the mud
that looks like a fallen berry.
What is the sign of progress?
I'm even less
perfect than I was
yesterday.
I dedicate this poem
to you, dear, who discovered
the hot mess of your body
on the kitchen floor
slobbering tears
into the linoleum
with Good Morning
America bleeding out
in the living room.
I honor the unconditional
catastrophe of your hair,
your crow's feet, the
droop of udder destruction,
the spreading warmth
of your wounded
mysterious smile
in the compost of uprooted
plans and scattered
possibilities,
when you finally realize
that no matter
how deeply you fall,
you are caught,
you have plunged
into the hug
that was always
there.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

~

Photo from the Internet

 

Eradicating Violence? - J. Krishnamurti

...is it possible to eradicate violence in ourselves?

I am asking whether it is possible for a human being living
psychologically in any society to clear violence from himself
inwardly?  If it is, the very process will produce a different way

of living in this world.

Some of us, in order to rid ourselves of violence, have used a
concept, an ideal, called non-violence, and we think by having
an ideal of the opposite to violence, non-violence, we can get rid
of the fact, the actual - but we cannot.  We have had ideals
without number, all the sacred books are full of them, 
yet we are still violent - so why not deal with violence itself and
forget the word altogether?

If you want to understand the actual you must give your whole
attention, all your energy, to it.  That attention and energy are
distracted when you create a fictitious, ideal world.  So can you
completely banish the ideal?  The man who is really serious,
with the urge to find out what truth is, what love is, has no
concept at all.  He lives only what is.

To investigate the fact of our own anger you must pass no 
judgement on it, for the moment you conceive of its opposite
you condemn it and therefore you cannot see it as it is.  When
you say you dislike or hate someone, that is a fact, although
it sounds terrible.  If you look at it, go into it completely, it
ceases, but if you say, "I must not hate; I must have love in my
heart," then you are living in a hypocritical world with double
standards.

To live completely, fully, in the moment is to live with what is,
the actual, without any sense of condemnation or justification -

then you understand it so totally that you are finished with it.

When you see clearly the problem is solved.

J. Krishnamurti
from Freedom from the Known

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Bleeding Enso 
2011

~

Enso is a sacred symbol of Zen Buddhism meaning circle...
It is traditionally drawn using only one brush stroke as a 
meditative practice in letting go of the mind...  While at
first glance, the enso symbol appears no more than a 
misshapen circle, it symbolizes many things: the beauty
in imperfection, the art of letting go of expectations, the
circle of life, and connection.  The enso is a manifestation
of the artist at the moment of creation and the acceptance of
the innermost self.  The enso is said to leave the artist fully
exposed at that one particular moment in time.

Barbara Bash - Artist

(I have no idea what I was feeling at the time I created 
this enso on wax paper, thus the drips - the only one I ever did.)

 

 

The Essence - a meandering

The Essence of our own Being is felt - not understood...
An animating life energy inherent in

the body system itself...

originating from within;
an innate aliveness
 that lives this body...

A mystery, The Mystery...

And also my felt experience...

And then of course the mind tries to put words
to it, to explain it, interpret it...  :)

Once I recognized it internally, it "awakened", or 
"came alive" in the body, although already there -
but made itself known , as my very own Being
 - embodied - in and through my
recognition of it.

Again, a mystery that I try with words to explain...

Although its movement is now deeply felt within,
nothing actually changes in my
human experience.

I did not become a different "person."
The "ego" didn't suddenly disappear.
Old habits of conditioning still remain -
and yet - there is this recognition of the Source
energy that mysteriously inhabits and animates this body.
Not conceptually known, but a felt movement of Being in 
the body - embodiment...

It's not even the feeling of "love" - as we know love...

It's a tangible felt sense of openness, of 
total acceptance of what is...
of whatever is unfolding in the life experience...

And what is "love" really but
the total acceptance of everything...

The Essence of Being...

_/\_

Namaste

Mystic Meandering
Jan 20, 2022

 

Unintentionality - Richard Wehrman

The words, he felt, obscured, as
at the same time some revealed,
and it became a task of separation,
as of stones on the beach, the white
from the black, the large from the
small; yet this too exposed
artificiality, a point of view, an
ordering of the universe that denied
the given order, where all things
arrived together, and only an
analytical eye, a mind of obsession,
sought to make order, by grouping
what seems the same, from what
seemed not to belong.  And he saw
his unease with the way things were,
the need to shift reality to align
with his preference, his desire, so
that he wondered, why can I not
leave things alone?  But the words
(for this was where he started) when
left to themselves did their own
sorting, the way the wind mixed
maple leaves with ash, willow with
walnut, and the patterns of November
dazzled the eye, in its own ordered
disorder, and its truth was apparent,
its unintentionality soothed the
heart and settled the soul.  And he
said: words, whoever let you loose,
do what you will.

Richard Wehrman

From: Being Here

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Problems - Rigel Dawson

 Sometimes a problem is only a problem because you keep
trying to solve it.  Once you accept what can't be fixed,
it ceases to be a problem and simply becomes a reality
that exists...

Rigel Dawson
from pinterest

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Trust - Truthless Truth

Underneath the surface,
deep inside the dugout,
a place of low light,
but sheltered from pain,
lies the hell of commonplaceness,
the wasteland of self-deception and struggle.

Above the surface,
out in the open,
a place of wonder and awe,
where the sun equally shines on joy and pain,
lies the promised land of unknowing,
the kingdom of self-acceptance and peace.

Allow vulnerability,
surrender your armor,
drop your mask,
come out into the world,
naked,
as you were born,
and every butterfly,
will awaken your inner child.

Trust...

at Truthless Truth

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering