Mistakes - John O'Donohue

One of the qualities that you can develop, particularly
in your older years, is a sense of great compassion for
yourself.  When you visit the wounds within the temple
of memory, you should not blame yourself for making
bad mistakes that you greatly regret.  Sometimes you
have grown unexpectedly through these mistakes.
Frequently, in a journey of the soul, the most precious
moments are the mistakes.  They have brought you to
a place that you would otherwise have always avoided.
You should bring a compassionate mindfulness to your
mistakes and wounds.  Endeavor to inhabit the
rhythm you were in at that time. If you visit this
configuration of your soul with forgiveness in your heart,
it will fall into place itself.  When you forgive yourself,
the inner wounds begin to heal. You come in out of the
exile of hurt into the joy of inner belonging.

John O'Donohue
from Anam Cara

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Photo - mistake :)

 

"Spiritual Practice" - Frank Ostaseski

Authentic "spiritual practice" is not about maintaining high
altered states, transcending the body, bypassing difficult emotions,
or healing all that remains unresolved within us.  "Spiritual
practice" helps us settle into the utter simplicity of being ourselves...
The healing happens when we bring awareness to the places
that have been hardened in us through the conditioned habits
of grasping, resistance and avoidance.

Mindfulness [awareness] is the deconditioning [of those habits].
Then things are free to be as they are.  We allow the difficult,
dark and dense.  We become more intimate with our full humanity
and discover an ever-deeper, vast sense of wholeness.

Being who you are can only arise from
accepting where you are.

Frank Ostaseski
The Five Invitations

~

Photo from the internet

 

Life as it is - a meandering

Religion is a heavy mantle some people wear -
robes of ritual, dogma and doctrine...

Advaita is a heady game some people like to play -
self/no-self?

Non-duality - a conundrum -
not two - but not one...

I'm tired of all these heavy "games" I've played
in the "Spiritual Game"...

It's time for me to just step out of the way -
to let myself unfold -
and not entangle myself in the many webs
that constrain and constrict that Flow.

Maybe some ancient saint or sage had it all figured out -
maybe not...

My inner sage tells me it's about acceptance,
about empathy, compassion; about living life as it is
the best I can without living up to some "spiritual"
ideal: Someone else's beliefs, someone else's "way",
someone else's "truth"; the "right" perspective, or
"right" thinking... 

Needing to listen to the
deeper Rhythm of my own Soul/Essence/Being...

But strong primal instincts arise,
unable to "spiritualize"
the rawness of emotions into - pretty language...

The practicality of Buddhist Wisdom draws me now -
not as a religion or belief system, but as day to day
wisdom for getting through...
The wisdom of accepting what is, of just being present,
of mindfulness, of caring and compassion, of stepping
out of the way of the experience and just seeing what unfolds,
letting go of expectations, the need for solutions,
 and the need to control - allowing life to happen
as it does...

No more lofty goals of "enlightenment" -
just fulfilling the requirements of ordinary daily living
in the midst of global and personal chaos
- in my new role as "caregiver" -
doing what needs to be done
as life keeps living itself
 as it is...

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 12, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Hubby and Emmy sleeping....

 

"Niksen" - Chuang Tzu

Heaven does nothing: its non-doing is its serenity.
Earth does nothing: its non-doing is its rest.
From the union of these two non-doings
All actions proceed.
All things are made.
How vast, how invisible
This coming-to-be!

All things come from nowhere!
How vast, how invisible -
No way to explain it!

All beings in their perfection
Are born of non-doing,
Hence it is said:
"Heaven and earth do nothing
Yet there is nothing they do not do."

From: Thomas Merton, The Way of Chuang Tzu

~

I recently read an article in a Time Magazine Special Edition
on Mindfulness, about "Niksen" - the concept of doing nothing.

Here is an excerpt...

It is a Dutch concept that means to do nothing, to be idle, or do
something without purpose.  The idea is to manage stress and
recover from burnout in our chaotic and busy world.  It's as simple
as simply sitting in a chair, looking out your window, or passively
listening to music, or taking a walk in nature.  Where mindfulness
is being present in the  moment with focused attention, Niksen is
more about carving out time to just be, letting the mind wander
rather than focusing on details.

In the Netherlands Niksen has been historically dismissed as
laziness or unproductive.  But as stress levels rise globally, so
does the crushing health impacts, like burnout, that are getting more
and more recognition from the medical community, and doing
nothing is increasingly being reframed as a positive stress
relieving tactic.

Doing non-purposeful, simple tasks allows the mind to wander
which can boost one's creativity and foster creative problem solving
and even induce inspiration, and getting clarity about what action to
take in order to meet a situation.

It can be somewhat challenging for some to just sit and stare out a
window, especially when you are used to *doing* something all the
time.  But dare to be idle - rest - and *allow* life to run its course.  Be
without purpose, carve out time to do something actively passive -
like looking out a window.

Letting the mind wander is not about being caught up in rumination.
We need to train our minds to wander in a way that is imaginative
and creative and ease our way into downtime - doing nothing -
balancing our busyness with non-doing.

Excerpt from:

"Meet Niksen - The Dutch Concept of Doing Nothing"
by Sophia Gottfried
from: Time Magazine Special Edition
Mindfulness: Your Path to Health and Happiness
Aug 15, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Delightful Distractions - Fred LaMotte

Honor the slight distractions
that keep you sane.
These are not distractions.
These are the essentials.
A titmouse at the thistle feeder.
Wing-beat of geese
navigating by the moon.
A glistening spider's web
in the withering hyssop.
Exultation of a turquoise moth
who will only live until sunrise.
The motionless explosion of a rose.
Are you not redeemed by the sure
sweet vision of particulars?

What else is faith?
The baby's ancient gaze
from a supermarket shopping cart.
Elegant cracks in a hand-made tea bowl.
Two dragonflies dancing at the edge
of a spring-fed forest pond.
Fragrance of honeysuckle
on a broken fence.
Sound of a horse's tail
swatting flies on a summer morning.
These are not distractions.
These are every flame-tipped thing
conspiring in a ceaseless revelation
to whisper yes, you are here.
The splendor of Sri Yantra
seen in the camellia blossom
that fell in the night by your back door,
its empyrean petals, choir upon choir.
The crown of an infant against your cheek.
Bamboo wind chimes in an empty temple.
Whisper of waves dissolving on sand.
The silence between raindrops.
This breath.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

My personal delights:

Crickets chirping their chorus in the quiet of night.
The sound of rain hitting the elephant ear leaves of
 a zucchini plant in the garden.

Sitting in the open window late at night
breathing in the silence, as the cool night air
brushes my face.
The early morning echo of the birds wake-up call,
or their haunting goodnight song.
Sunlight through glassware... :)

What are some of your delights? 

 

A Fractured Reality - Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

Our contemporary consciousness seems so fractured.

Even the pandemic has constellated more fissures in our culture,
more tribalism, more discordant voices... 

It is as if the very fabric or our consciousness has become
distorted, that sees truth as a primal adversary, from a fractured
sense of reality. 

...in our present collective consciousness, we appear to have 
crossed over into a country where simple truths do not
reach us - there is no shared sense of reality...

I watch the stories swirl around and wonder if they are just
nightmares of a civilization that has lost its way -
patterns of denial to distract us from the failures of our
culture, with its increasing divisiveness...

There is a deep need to turn.....to the simplicity of what is...
to the true nature of everything...
We need to find a pathway that can return us to wholeness....

I find the only way to return, to embrace reality, is through
what is most simple, most ordinary.  By noticing what is
around me, the sound of the wind, the rain falling.  There is
a Cherokee practice that is similar to [Buddhist] mindfulness,
called, "the sound of the green forest humming"; the awareness
of the sound of the forest, the sound of the water and our breath.
When people are very well attuned they hear a certain sound 
and are mindful of that sound.  When they don't hear it they
realize they have stepped into a place where their thoughts
have become unbalanced.

Ordinary, everyday awareness can return us to a place of 
balance, where we are part of the living community;
a community not of internet bubbles, but of a primal
awareness [of nature]. Walking through this gate that is
always open, we can return to a quality of consciousness
beyond truth and lies, one that is more primal, spontaneous.
...we can leave behind a strange fractured world of distortions
 and breathe in air that is not toxic, walk on land that is
still singing.

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi teacher

Excerpts from an article in
Emergence Magazine
called - A Ghost's Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slumber...

 We slumber, but the
anniversary clock keeps turning,
in perpetual movement.
The earth spins on its axis and 
travels around the sun -
a perpetual momentum...

We slumber, but the mind
presents dreams and our
breath becomes automatic,
a perpetual rhythm...

We slumber, but life keeps living
as if no one is watching.

We slumber while our "things"
wait on a shelf for us to wake them
by our noticing;

inanimate objects which somehow
hold meaning for us and comfort us
without whose presence we would feel
as if something were missing...

But what's missing is in ourselves,
the emptiness we try to fill
with those "things" - those inanimate
objects of the mind: thoughts and memories
of previous times and people or "things"
that make us feel solace and comfort in
hard times.

We slumber - and yet everything is alive around us,
in the continuous, unending movement of life,
waiting for us to
awaken and notice.

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 9, 2020
1 am

Causeless Joy - Naomi Shihab Nye

 It's difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness, there's something to rub against.
A wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you,
you have pieces to pick up, something to hold
in your hands like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.
It doesn't need you to hold it down.
Doesn't need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house singing
and disappears when it wants to. 

[.....]

Everything has a life of its own.

It, too, could wake up filled with possibilities of coffee cake
and ripe peaches and love even the floor which needs to be
swept, the soiled linens, and scratched records... 

Since there's no place large enough to contain so much happiness,
 you shrug, your raise your hands, and it flows out of you into
 everything you touch.

You're not responsible.

You take no credit.

As the night sky takes no credit for the moon,
but continues to hold it and to share it
and in that way, be known.

Naomi Shihab Nye

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

I know it may seem strange to be posting about
Joy and Happiness etc. during such chaotic, disruptive,
apocalyptic times. I'm surprised as well that this has happened,
so just offering a bit of inspiration...  

This doesn't mean that I am
untouched by the struggles and difficulties of others.
I also continue to have my "moments" as well...

There's a lot going on for all of us...

The world, even with its turmoil, becomes, or is seen as,
a "divine play" or Cosmic Dance.  We find we can be
in the world, as it is, and not struggle with what is happening,
or try to "fix" it; but allow life to unfold as it does in its own rhythm;
 not seeking "liberation" or freedom from the world, but living
from the Deep Quiet space within, and let that show us 
where we can contribute with mindful engagement,

not emotional, reactive chaos...

MM

Meeting Life As It Is...

I used to think the goal was to "awaken"
from life as it is - to be "enlightened."
And everything would be "different:"
easier, more fluid; things would just fall into place;
that "I" would be "different" - changed somehow.

But it seems the real "awakening"
is about keeping the heart open to
life as it is - not dismissing it or others
as an "appearance" only;
detached from life...

But seeing beyond the "appearance" to the Real;
the Formless in form;
Seeing the Real Being behind the eyes...

Showing up for life and doing what is needed
with mindfulness, kindness and compassion.

Allowing ourselves to be touched by others
and their life circumstances means being
vulnerable and open -
not having the "answers",
or hiding behind the comforting certainties of
a "belief system."

It means forgiving the frailties of others
and accepting one's own...
Not dismissing others as part of an illusion, part
of a dream; not buying into the dream of separation
by denying life...

"Awakening", it seems  is about meeting life as it is,
living amidst the disturbances of life,
discovering and acknowledging the Real Being in
oneself and others;
surrendering to the immensity of "The Mystery"
living ItSelf in the every-day-ness of life...

Mystic Meandering
Aug 2020

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Red glow of sun from the wildfires in Colorado
and California...

Uncertainty Is Hard on the Brain - Markham Heid

...what decades pf psychological research has borne out - is
that the human brain is uniquely vulnerable to uncertainty.
There's evidence that an inability to tolerate uncertainty is a
central feature of most anxiety disorders, and that uncertainty
stokes the sorts of "catastrophic interpretations" that fuel panic
attacks.  Some researchers have even argued that fear of the
unknown is the bedrock fear that human beings experience -
the one that gives rise to all other fears - and that a person's
ability to weather periods of uncertainty is a fundamental
characteristic of a healthy, resilient mind.

As the world grapples with.....the nightmare of Covid-19,
the rhythms and rituals [routines] of American life are
indefinitely disrupted...

...uncertainty disrupts many of the habitual and automatic
mental processes that govern routine action.  This disruption
creates a conflict in the brain, and this conflict can lead to a
state of both hyper-vigilance and outsized emotional reactivity
to negative experiences or information.  In other words,
uncertainty acts like rocket fuel for worry; it causes people to
see threats everywhere they look, and at the same time it makes
them more likely to react emotionally in response to those threats.

Uncertainty lays the groundwork for anxiety because anxiety is
always future-oriented...  The human brain has the capacity to
imagine all the worst things that could happen.  And the more
uncertainty there is - the more likely the brain is to conjure up
and fixate on the worst-case scenarios.

Even minor periods of unpredictability can cause significant
negative effects. ...the lack of control sends stress and anger
levels through the roof.  ...removing the element of uncertainty
makes one feel better.

The more people engage in worrying, the less they feel
confident in their ability to solve a problem and the worse
their solutions to that problem tend to be.  If you're going to
be spending six or seven hours a day worrying about the
coronavirus, you're going to be building up and strengthening
the neural connections that support this activity.  Worrying
breeds more worry.

So what can people do to combat the effects of uncertainty?
...focusing on the present can help dispel uncertainty and the
anxiety it foments.  Do things you enjoy.  Get out a book you've
been wanting to read, or watch a movie, or talk with a friend.
Occupy your brain with work, chores, entertainment, [creativity],
or other activities related to the source of uncertainty; something
that gets your brain into the present moment.

This may also be the perfect time to finally give mindfulness a try.
...embracing [what you are doing in] the moment can distract us
from worry and what may or may not happen. ..."letting go" of
things one has no control over may be the best way to shrink
worry down to a manageable size.

Markham Heid
From an article in Medium.com

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

"Why We Hate" - Steven Spielberg

There is a very interesting 6 episode series that we recently
watched on The Discovery Channel called
"Why We Hate", explaining the human capacity for hate. The
series titles are: Its Origins, Tribalism, Tools and Tactics,
Extremism, Crimes Against Humanity, and Hope.  Maybe
some of you have seen it as well...  It was produced by
Steven Spielberg and Alex Gibney of The Discovery Channel.

It is a provocative documentation of human's hatred toward
one another.  Episode 6 includes discussions with a neuro-
scientist, Emile Bruneau, that proved to be an eye-opener
for me, and brought some self-awareness.  He related it to
the brain and certain neural pathways, calling it
"biological hate" and how we can, in a sense, retrain the
brain through meditation! [which doesn't require that you
belong to a particular religion].  That despite our conditioning,
our environment, our *learned* prejudices, our isms, our "tribe"
[which would include our "religious" tribes, not just our race
and ethnicity] we can *unlearn* our innate, conditioned
capacity for hate for those we *perceive* to be different from
"us." The Us vs them mentality.

If you are on Comcast/Xfinity you can watch it On Demand.
You can also watch it on Amazon Prime, which requires
membership, although you can evidently pay to watch individual
episodes.  In which case watch episodes 5 & 6 and you'll get
the most important parts.  The first episodes are good, but a
little slow.  On the computer you can go to
Discovery.com/shows/why-we-hate and you can view episodes
there on "DiscoveryGo."  We were able to watch the Trailer
for free...

It's worth the watch!

Here's the link to the Trailer with Steven Spielberg
on "DiscoveryGo"

Peace Bell - The Great Bell Chant

May the Sound of this Bell
Penetrate deep into the Cosmos.
Even in the darkest spots
Living Beings are able to hear it clearly
So that all suffering in them ceases.
Understanding comes to their hearts
And they transcend the path
of Sorrow and Death.

The Universal Dharma Door
Is already open.
The Sound of the Rising Tide is heard clearly.
The miracle happens.
A beautiful child appears in the heart of the Lotus flower.
One single drop of this Compassionate Water
is enough to bring back the refreshing Spring
To our mountains and Rivers.

Listening to the Bell
I feel the afflictions in me begin to dissolve.
My mind calm, my body relaxed
A smile is born on my lips.
Following the Sound of the Bell
My breath brings me back to the safe Island of Mindfulness.
In the Garden of my Heart
the flowers of Peace
Bloom beautifully.

via - Love Is A Place

Keep Noble Silence - Fred LaMotte

'Keep Noble Silence.'  This was the Buddha's teaching.
Is there a difference between ordinary silence and noble silence?

Ordinary silence is mindless.  Noble silence is mindful.

Ordinary silence is the absence of noise.  Noble silence is the
fullness of Being.  It is pure awareness, free from the chatter
of conceptual thought.

Peace comes through Being, not through argument.

Thought melts away, past and future dissolve into Presence.

Mind sinks into the groundless, journeys deep into the virgin
forest of the Heart.  There, in noble silence, one sees all
causes entangled in causelessness.  One sees golden emptiness
pervading all creatures.  One sees sparkling stillness in all action.

A silent heart irradiates the world with compassion.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

The Soul's Rhythm - John O'Donohue

We should not force ourselves to change by hammering our
lives into any predetermined shape.  We do not need to operate
according to the idea of a predetermined program or plan for our
lives.  Rather, we need to practice a new art of attention to our
inner rhythm of our days and lives.  This attention brings a new
awareness of our own human and divine presence.

It is far more creative to work with the idea of mindfulness than
with the idea of will. Too often people try to change their lives
by using the will as a kind of hammer to beat their life into proper
shape.  The intellect identifies the goal of the program, and the
will accordingly forces the life into shape.  This way of approaching
the sacredness of one's own presence is externalistic and violent.
It brings you falsely outside of your own self and you can spend
years lost in the wilderness of your own mechanical, spiritual
programs.  You can perish in a famine of your own making.

If you work with a different rhythm, you will come easily and
naturally home to your self.  Your soul knows the geography of
your destiny.  Your soul alone has a map of your future, therefore
you can trust this indirect, oblique side of your self.  If you do,
it will take you where you need to go, but more importantly it will
teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.  There are no
general principles for this art of being.  Yet the signature of this
unique journey is inscribed deeply in each soul.  If you attend to
your self and seek to come into your own presence, you will find
exactly the right rhythm for your life.  The senses are generous
pathways which can bring you home.

John O'Donohue
from Anam Cara

via The Beauty We Love

Journaling as Meditation...

I want to draw your attention to a guest post I wrote over on Aarathi Selvan’s Weblog.  Aarathi asked if I would write on “The Nature of Contemplative Journaling.”  Aarathi has been one of my dear blog friends for a while now.  She lives in India with two small children under two!  She is also a Psychotherapist, Writer, Mindufulness Guide, and student of Contemplative Art and Photography.  She has recently created a new website where she explores meditation, mindfulness, mental health and spirituality.  Thank you Aarathi for this opportunity to write!

For me “journaling” is not only about bringing mindfulness and awareness to my life, relationships, and spirituality, but is a meditative practice to turn that awareness to the deeper space of inner Silence…  Read more at the link below and then enjoy browsing through Aarathi’s lovely space…

http://aarathiselvan.com/2013/12/27/the-contemplative-nature-of-journaling/

I also want to mention an excellent book on journal writing that was helpful to me some 20 yrs ago.  It is called: Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest by Christina Baldwin.

A Burnt Peas Kind of Day...

Yesterday was a “burnt peas” kind of day. I literally burned the peas. My usual fare for breakfast is peas and steamed fish. I changed my routine and put the peas on to boil first and then went to the computer to check blog comments and emails figuring I could check everything within 5-6 mins – pea boiling time. Not… I got so engrossed I forgot the peas, until I smelled them burning. And it was all down hill from there, playing catch-up with time the rest of the day – never feeling like I had enough time. I seem to be living that way lately – time oriented, time bound, trying to catch up to time, always falling behind time, running out of time. I’m always pressing forward - *in my mind* - but my *heart* wants to live out of time. My True Heart and mind are out of sync – needing a little tune up. And so it’s time to take a time out and assess why I’m measuring myself by the clock and why it feels like time – and life - keep slipping away… into that time funnel…

This is not to say that time structure isn’t good. I love structure. I have my lists of things to do. And some days that are structured seem to flow better. Time is unavoidable. But it’s the mind grasping for and fixating on time that I’m talking about – like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland who’s always checking his watch exclaiming that he’s running late… Racing against the clock as a measure of my worthiness, seeing how much I can accomplish, doling out tidbits of time and never really accomplishing anything – never finding time for what’s really important – the Silence of Life beyond time…

Relative time is self containing, and self contracting - a container for the self - like bookends on your life; putting a beginning and end on life, attempting to contain life that wants to flow naturally. Time fixation doesn’t allow for the natural awareness of anything other than time. The Universe is not time constrained however – have you noticed. :) It is endless and open. We seem to know this naturally in childhood through play – which flows freely unless someone tells us it’s time to come in. Nature rests outside of time – clock time – naturally cyclical on its own time – unconstrained by artificial time – and yet flourishes wildly and beautifully.

So who would I *be* if I didn’t live by the clock, losing the vision of the larger Life beyond time? What if I loosened my grip on time, and lived life according to my natural rhythm – the rhythm of the Heart? What would happen if I returned to that lovely groundless state of innocent no-mind, to the easy flow of life – not lost in the eddies of no-time - but living congruently in the harmony of being and doing – attuned to Life Itself. Not fighting against my natural rhythms, which is maybe why I lag behind – in time – resisting the constraints of time… What if I didn’t prescribe life by time, but remained open to its natural unfolding… I mean I’m not getting to the things I *really* want to do anyway, even with the self-imposed structure of time. Instead I’m measuring myself by the clock and what I’m not getting done – feeling like I’m missing out on life, missing out on really *living*. It seems there needs to be a resetting of the “mind clock”…

When I sit at the open window at night in Silence and look out into the semi-darkness – time dissolves. I become aware of the Silence of Life, within and without, through the smell and feel of the cool night air, the sight of the silhouetted stillness of the trees, the sounds of living in the distance that occurs within the vastness of Silence... And - I am undistracted and undisturbed by time. The “mind clock” quiets, and I am aware only of the flow of Life behind time, underneath time - where Life lives. When my “mind clock” isn’t running my life, then I am at peace, more mindful, aware. Time flows fluidly and I don’t burn the peas.

In the not doing
everything gets done…

Lao Tzu


~


Photo
Reflection out my living room window
in the face of the clock...

~

Read this wonderful post
at Sparks and Mirrors
on Slowing Down to the Pace of the Soul

A Gathering of "Small Stones"...

From what I can gather :) the practice of writing “Small Stones” is a way of being mindful, aware, noticing, seeing the world, our environment, both inner and outer, with new eyes. It is about noticing and writing down these little stones of awareness on a daily basis for the month of January. I was first introduced to “Small Stones” by Hilaire over at Storing Magic. To find out how it all began on the original site Click here. And here are a few “stones” I have gathered in my “noticing” this month with some photos that seemed to fit… Enjoy!

November Sky...

“He who can hear Love
can hear Silence.
He who can hear Silence
can hear Love.

All the words of the world bow
and pay homage to Silence’s song."


Kabir

“Let peace work on you
and enable you to gather your
scattered mind into
the mindfulness of Calm Abiding.”

“Above all, be at ease,
be as natural and spacious as possible.
Slip quietly out of the noose
of your habitual anxious self,
and relax into your true nature.”

Nyashul Khenppo

“Here is where the adventure begins,
the adventure of not knowing…
but simply standing still.
The task turns out to be ceding to stillness,
and in that stillness the recognition of
just this…”

“Stop pretending
you don’t know
the fundamental nature
of your being…”

Joan Ruvinsky
Pathless Yoga

“…over time wonders were revealed,
chief among them the light
of conscious awareness…”

”The light turned out to be
my truest home -
what was most abiding.”

Tracy Cochran
Finding a Path

"...the Buddha seed..."

As many of you who regularly read this blog know, I am not a “Buddhist”, although recently I find myself enamored with the Buddha, feeling a deep inner sense of the universal Buddha presence within. In the past I have given this presence names like Awareness, Presence, Spirit, Being, Stillness, etc. This Buddha Presence has a compassionate, loving, peaceful, comforting presence that I feel in my heart and gut; that calms and consoles; that has a sense of “assurance” to it. There is an innocent curiosity that arises with the felt sense of this presence within, wanting to follow. So I am exploring this new awareness of the Buddha internally – as in: This is interesting, let’s see where this goes. Do I need to leave breadcrumbs just in case?

Sometimes I feel gifted during times of meditation when I get words and insights that always seem to be just what I need to hear. With the recent drama in my life, silence and meditation have been difficult, but in the last couple of weeks they were beginning to become my internal comforts – although I admit, food and TV are still right up there at the top of the list, as well as various other distractions of the body/mind. :)

However, during meditation last week I was able to settle in to the Silence enough to get still and asked:

Buddha – what do you want here?

The response:

Utter and complete stillness, like a lotus on a pond.

Utter and complete waiting – in stillness.

Utter and complete presence – inward/inner presence.

And during this “utter and complete stillness” – which of course was not totally “utter and complete”, but the best that I could do - I reflected that the Buddha Nature is like a seed in the heart that needs attention, awareness, and presence, in order to open fully. Still, silent attentive awareness; a silent gaze of attention inwardly, continually, bringing the inner gaze there to the seed of the Buddha Nature: “the Buddha seed” were the words that came…

A visual of an open white Lotus flower also came.

So I asked: What does Buddha want me to know here?

Mindfulness – mindful awareness that *sees.*

Bring your awareness to the Buddha seed in the Heart.

Bring steadfast presence to the seed of the Buddha Nature within.

Hold the seed of light in your awareness – like the Lotus Light …

Constant, continual awareness of the seed within until it fully opens.

This is the Buddha Nature – the seed of the Lotus Light that shines.

Create an environment for this seed to thrive…

Be like the hidden jewel, the hidden light – waiting,

content to wait in stillness; enfolded, held and embraced. Waiting.

The Buddha seed will open when it is ready… Wait in stillness…

Be “stillness waiting.”

So be it…

~*~

Grocery Store Wisdom - Mindful Awareness

I thought maybe I’d be writing about loss today, in light of the recent loss of our cat, and the loss of a blog friend’s mother. But I returned to the necessary mundane activities, life continued in its usual way, and the grocery store offered yet another wisdom. So here I am with another edition of Grocery Store Wisdom…

I forgot to take my grocery list with me today. I’ve been in kind of a fog the last few days, as the emotions have rolled in and out. So standing in the produce section, realizing I didn’t have my list, I came into the present moment and started moving through the store, trying to remember what was on the list. I did pretty good actually. I only forgot 4 things! Not bad from a list of 35 items, especially when in the last few years I’ve found myself in the middle of a room wondering the existential question - what am I doing here? I guess I’d pass a memory test, at least for now…

Anyway, what I noticed in this losing of the list was that I became more mindful – more aware. As I made my way through the store, I had to slow down, look, pay attention and be mindful – pulling on those memory cells, triggering them with the visuals of the products on the shelves, or the directory signs hanging above each isle. Nope, not this one. Ah – yes – toilet paper. Wouldn’t want to forget that! I felt myself becoming more internally still, less mind chatter, more innately *aware*, more in tune with my surroundings. I was more acutely sensitive to what I was experiencing in the moment.

This happened to me several years ago as well. It was a Sunday afternoon. I had been reading a novel on the couch while a large turkey breast was cooking in the oven. For some unknown reason sometimes when I read novels I become more mindful. Maybe it’s because I get completely drawn into the story – forgetting my self. When I went into the kitchen the *sound* of the turkey fat spitting in the pan as it drizzled off the skin became an intense, delightful noise that enamored me for several minutes as I stood there – just listening – just aware of every delightful sound.

In my usual blind-folders-on approach to grocery shopping, and life in general sometimes, it’s kinda like being a little mole, blind to everything else except the items right in front of my nose on my list, or in my life. Just digging my little holes and burrowing in. In the ‘forgot-my-list’ mode my awareness expanded out to a more inclusive view of the whole environment that I was in, taking it all in, experiencing everything – willingly – even with a sense of curiosity as it all unfolded before me – as if it was something new. My field of vision became wider… Maybe I should leave my list home more often! I might experience something that I wouldn’t otherwise.

It appears that in mindful awareness life opens up, things slow down, and I actually *experience* life more fully, more completely. I feel more drawn in by life – like being drawn in to a good novel. I am captured by the story of life that is being lived in the moment, instead of just trying to get through it, or resisting where it is going. I seem to *see* more. It’s like awareness looks directly at the way things are and just *sees* - acutely sees everything as it is. I’ve never really experienced this so intensely before. Today I was made *aware* of how *awareness* can shift the experience. If you live life without a list – an agenda – you actually open more to life with whatever it has for you. You actually *see* life – moment by moment. Hmmm… No list, no agenda - just experiencing life with mindful awareness – the totality of the experience – the loss, the contraction of grief, and the mundane.

Heart Smiles – MeANderi
www.ASerenitySanctuary.com