Mistakes - John O'Donohue

One of the qualities that you can develop, particularly
in your older years, is a sense of great compassion for
yourself.  When you visit the wounds within the temple
of memory, you should not blame yourself for making
bad mistakes that you greatly regret.  Sometimes you
have grown unexpectedly through these mistakes.
Frequently, in a journey of the soul, the most precious
moments are the mistakes.  They have brought you to
a place that you would otherwise have always avoided.
You should bring a compassionate mindfulness to your
mistakes and wounds.  Endeavor to inhabit the
rhythm you were in at that time. If you visit this
configuration of your soul with forgiveness in your heart,
it will fall into place itself.  When you forgive yourself,
the inner wounds begin to heal. You come in out of the
exile of hurt into the joy of inner belonging.

John O'Donohue
from Anam Cara

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Photo - mistake :)

 

A Single Leaf Falls...

Leaning back on the soft, stuffed chair back cushion
I sink into myself, and rest there...

I hold my hands over my chest, as if holding 
a tiny infant against my heart.

I realize I am actually holding my self, my own
heart in my hands - cradling and nurturing
my "little heart". as of it were a child;
reassuring it that it's alright;

loving it...

All these burdens that it's been carrying for so 
long, lurking in the dark shadows, in need
of embrace and release.

A deep cry would be good - but the tears don't come.

I breathe deeply into the painful wounds of the heart -

feeling empathy and compassion for the "burden carrier",
as she has carried the angry, shadowy baggage of a 
painful family dynamic far too long.

I'm looking for IN-spiration that I can't seem to find.
Within I only find sadness and tears wanting to emerge,
to be felt - but are held back, as if dammed by a
learned facade -

waiting to explode - and be set free.
Like a river frozen in deep archaic woods,
embedded there for centuries; locked in time,
encoded in the body and mind - needing to flow
through and be released, not left hidden behind a
silent spirituality,
always "up", always "strong", holding it "together."

The facade starts to crumble, being replaced by authenticity,
and a different strength - a "speaker of truth" - her own truth,
that must be spoken,

not drowned in other people's words and ways...

A single leaf falls from a tree outside the window,
a poignant moment in her reflection.
Soon the tree will be bare, naked - and exposed...

Vulnerable without her covering...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 15, 2023

~

With thanks to Sarah Carlson and her own healing process
for the inspiration for this poem...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Kindness casts a different light - John O'Donohue

There is a kindness that dwells deep down in things;
it presides everywhere, often in the places we least
expect.  The world can be harsh and negative, but
if we remain generous, and patient, kindness inevitably
reveals itself.  Something deep in the human soul seems
to depend on the presence of kindness; something
instinctive in us expects it, and once we sense it we
are able to trust and open ourselves...

If we did not feel that some ultimate kindness holds
sway, we would feel like outsiders confronted on every
side by a world toward which we could make no real bridges.

The word kindness has a gentle sound that seems to echo
the presence of compassionate goodness.  When someone
is kind to you, you feel understood and seen.  There is no
judgment or harsh perception directed toward you.

Kindness has gracious eyes; it also suggests that your
vulnerability, though somehow exposed, is not taken
advantage of; rather, it has become an occasion for dignity
and empathy.

Kindness casts a different light, an evening light that has
the depth of color and patience to illuminate what is
complex and rich in difference.

Despite all the darkness, human hope is based on the
instinct that at the deepest level of reality some intimate
kindness holds sway.  This is the heart of blessing.  To believe
in blessing is to believe that our being here, our very presence
in the world, is itself the first gift, the primal blessing.

Given the nature of our beginning [our birth] - nowhere does
 the Silence of the Infinite lean so intensely as around the form
of  a newly born infant - it is no wonder  that our hearts are
imbued with longing for beauty, meaning, order, creativity,
compassion, and love.  

John O'Donohue
From: To Bless the Sapce Between Us

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Self-Compassion - Matt Licata

It is important to realize that the path of opening the heart
is not the same as becoming a receptacle for the unloading
of others' unconscious. unresolved beliefs, unprocessed
feelings, and unintegrated behaviors.  While "appearing"
compassionate on the outside, being an emotional doormat
involves the re-enacting of early unconscious dynamics.
We learned that devaluing ourselves, often in very subtle
ways, was the best route to get out needs met, to fit in,
to receive attention and affection, and to maintain a
precarious tie to an unavailable attachment figure
[parent]...to work through overwhelming states of
survival-level anxiety.

But the pathways within are luminous - neither solid
nor fixed - and can be reorganized around empathy,
kindness, and presence...  ...this possibility occurs
only by way of self-compassion and the unconditional
commitment to no longer abandon yourself...which
will require immense courage, care, curiosity and
embodiment.

Look carefully and see the ways you habitually
place others' needs over your own...not out of
true compassion for them, but a re-enactment of
an early environment of shame and unworthiness...
...lay down a new pathway [through self-compassion].
The pathway is grounded in self-care, which wisely
expresses itself in the skillful care of others, and
opens the doorway into the unfolding dance of self
and other and the eternal mysteries...

Matt Licata