Well, campers, it's been a tough ten days or so. Wrote last week about taking a fall the previous Friday. Things took a turn for the worse the following Sunday. But, like most things in life, you do your best to make the best of them.
Given that, I've decided to become a song writer. With apologies to Buddy Holly and the Crickets, here's my first attempt
[Verse]
Sawin logs in the hot sun
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
I cut some wood cause I had some
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
[Chorus]
I left my shop and it feels so bad
I guess my sawin's done
She's the best saw that I ever had
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
[Pre-Chorus]
Cuttin' Lumber with a table saw
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
I sliced my thumb and I lost my fun
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
[Chorus]
I left my shop and it feels so bad
I guess my sawin's done
She's still the best thumb I've ever had
I fought the saw and the saw won
I fought the saw and the saw won
Whatcha' think? Pretty good huh?
So....There I was* Sunday afternoon (a week ago yesterday). Sarge's weekly tasking order complete. Mrs. J is down for a nap accompanied by six dogs (she and they were on the couch, the cats were claiming sole ownership of our bed). I decided to visit the workshop and having completed the preparatory sawing for MBD and The Rev's bookshelf restoration, had some cutoffs that I wanted to turn into a portable tool holder.
The holder plan I saw on the Tube of You required partial cross cuts through the 2x4's to create slots for chisels, screwdrivers and assorted other hand tools. I didn't have quite enough wood for his project, but I could try it out on a smaller scale version.
So...I got to work. Cut the rounded edges off (to make the finished product look seamless), then got to cutting the slots for the tools. Marked out the desired widths and heights, positioned the blade and the miter gauge. Fired up the saw and went to town. Got the first piece cut out for the chisels. Confident now in the process, I set up the second piece, and started making cuts.
Evidently, my hubris offended the Greek Gods, as on the final pass of the day (for shortly obvious reasons), the 2 x 4 piece caught the blade, twisted and brought my right hand which had been holding the piece to the miter gauge into the blade. As I felt that happening, I issued an emergency evacuation order for the hand, which, while promptly executed, was not completely successful.
My friendly finger (the one you show to express your feelings to friends and others by extending it alone) had it's fingernail partially, but cleanly, i.e. no damage to the quick, removed. The index finger had a tiny, non-bleeding scratch on the tip.
The thumb, however, took a bigger hit. I lost about a nickel sized chunk out of it. By that time, the evacuation order had reached the hand and it cleared the area. Saw went to off, I grabbed a rag out of the clean bin, put it over the thumb and tightly gripped it.
Went into the house and roused Mrs. J from her nap saying we needed to go visit Urgent Care. Suffice it to say that awakening, while it might have been the highlight of her day, wasn't the "High Point", if you get my drift.
Fortunately, there were no other patients there, so we went in almost immediately. The NP was one of my former students and his assistant was a former Army Medic. We got on well.
Right up to the point of the Lidocaine injection.
Holy Crap! That stung and burned. If he'd have asked classified questions, I might have answered them.
He did say that the Lidocaine shot was less bad than the Silver Nitrate he would use to cauterize the wound would have been without it. If true, well, I didn't want to chance it.
| The black stuff is the silver nitrate tinting my skin. The center circle? That's non-skin covered flesh. Ouch! |
He said to leave the bandage on for two days, change it, repeat, and on the third cycle let it breathe for an hour, then run water over it, but don't scrub, then re-bandage.
Did all that, and about an hour after that re-bandaging, the new bandage is soaked in blood.
Urgent Care was closed, so off to the ER we go. Where we go through the whole process again. The Doctor, a very nice young lady, while administering the Lidocaine, calmly asked me about the capabilities of the F-15. I tried to resist, but she was very persuasive with the needle.
After the cleaning of the wound, which the clock on the wall said 15 minutes but, I know for a fact took several millennia, we're free to RTB.
So what have you learned, Dumass?
I've learned to not use my dominant hand.
I've learned to be very careful where I swing my hand. Hitting something...Hurts.
I've learned that typing with one hand wrapped in bandages takes four times as long to write and twice as long to proofread and correct. (So, no snarky misspelling comments, Beans.)
I've learned to use new and improved wood gripping techniques and I've finished the project with them.
I also managed to finish the tool holder project.
So I've got that going for me.
But, just so I don't irritate the ghost of Buddy Holly.
Peace out, y'all
*Standard juvat intro