editing

Eek, I have been editing the second book in the Hemstreet Witches series. Monday somehow totally got away from me. Since it's where I am editing, to give readers an idea of the kinds of things I am looking to improve, here is an excerpt where I am working showing the changes I am making. There was one paragraph change also where I put a sentence with a paragraph it had been following. More changes may follow as this is the first edit and ahead of the beta readers.

Some writers give beta readers chapters to work with all along. I save them for when I think it's ready-- and they find things to show me it wasn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Walking into the restored building, converted into a small theater and meeting rooms, Elke was glad to see saw David Jefferies, Pamela Crosby, and two women she didn’t recognize on the stage and, sitting at a table. “You’re late,” he said as he rose and gave her a hug.

   “I’m sorry. Torre and I got involved in planning the changes we want to make in Mellow Yellow, and I lost track of time.”

   “Nothing major I hope,” Pam Crosby said dusting Elke’s cheek with a brushed kiss before sitting back down. “I love your choices as they are.”

   “Elke, our actresses new to you, Debbie Johnson and Colette Ames, are interested in Stage Left. Chuck was supposed to be here tonight. Not sure what happened to that.”   Debbie, pretty, blonde and bubbly, was the age to play ingénues while Colette looked a little older than Elke. 

   “Chuck?”

   “Charles Carter. He’s been a leading man in some of the other theaters around here. I had hoped to interest him in small our little theater.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elke is interested in getting a play produced there to give magic workers better publicity. Her desire to improve the reputation of natural witches leads her into her adventure in 'To Speak of Things Unseen.'  There is one sentence there I am still uneasy about but will leave it for a second go-round to see if it still draws me out of the action. If it does, it might disappear totally or get reworked.

 

grammar is perfect or not

After a lot of editing, and I mean a lot, grammar is much on my mind. Perfect grammar doesn't always 'sound' right. Imperfect grammar can lead to confusion in meaning. English is complicated...

there are three lamb faces in this photo-- find the third!

In conversations, people don't talk with grammar in mind; so dialogue is a time out, where I ignore Word warnings, despite it going tsk tsk. Dialogue has each character with different education levels and way of talking. Cannot use a 'big' word for someone who wouldn't know it-- unless there is a special reason for their knowing it.

Prose is where grammar is more of a factor-- transitional, descriptive, and point of view sentences. In point of view, the character is thinking or observing. I don't feel it's needful that it sound like they talk, but it shouldn't have words that don't fit what that character would observe and know. If a character is the type to enjoy a sunset, the descriptive words should fit their nature. Poets sound like poets. Most other people do not. Fixing all of that, making it sound and feel right, is what editing is about.  

My first draft will always be written fast without a lot of concern for the nuances of grammar. Because I grew up when diagramming sentences was part of learning to write, I generally put my sentences together with most of them correct. There are always some where my mind is ahead of my fingers, and the words prove it.

When editing comes along, I read for meaning and feeling and use Word underlining. I like the option of having it check what I most need. Sometimes, even in prose, I ignore the underline. More often I change it-- if not literally as they would suggest, but with a rewrite that avoids the underline. Sometimes it'll start with part of a sentence underlined and the suggestion it needs a comma. As soon as I add the comma, the whole sentence is underlined with a new complaint. Luckily Word isn't a person where we could get in an argument over it.

One of their interesting grammar warnings is-- you're too wordy. Most writers can definitely be that way. Seeing that warning is when I decide if the whole sentence is needed. If it is, I usually break the thought into several sentences. That can lead to a new warning.

The main problem I have with them is when something sounds right but is grammatically incorrect. Dangling prepositions are one example. When we talk, we don't worry about them. In dialogue I don't either. But when I'm writing a transitional or descriptive paragraph, they generally need to go-- not because they bother me, but because they might some readers.

There are some places Word isn't good at catching, and I really have to watch myself. An example is worse and worst. Theoretically, it's simple. Worse is in a chain of bad. Worst is the absolute most it can be... except sometimes either one just does not sound right even when it probably is. When that happens, I grab my thesaurus for an option to avoid fighting with myself over it or annoying a reader where that very word is their pet peeve.

Another place English can get confusing is for the verb was, which must fit its noun. Was is generally used with a singular noun, which means you don't write 'we was going to town' that is unless your character is uneducated and from the hills. But was isn't always correct for a singular noun. It changes when it's in certain clauses, which means were is correct for a singular noun-- even when to me it sounds worse worst worse wrong... If we were going to town, I'd take you along... If I was going to town, I'd take you along. See it sounds right only the second sentence is not. It should be-- If I were going to town, I'd take you along-- if you want it to have proper grammar. Don't ask me why. 

Was or Were

The first times I came across this correction to was, I argued with the program and assumed it was wrong. It was not. In fiction writing, I still though won't use what sounds awkward just to make my grammar pass an English teacher's red check.

Another one, that Word regularly catches, but in a rough draft I often write incorrectly, is the split infinitive. I don't really know why it's so bad (it always sounds fine to me), but I change it when I see the warning. It might bother a reader. As you may have already deduced, editing is really about the reader. I already know what I intended to say.

Word is a great program for helping the editor. Some buy more complicated programs, but I've tried a few. They aren't always better. In fiction, correct isn't always best. If it comes across as awkward, it's not best even if it's most grammatically correct. Who and whom come to mind for that. I get it when whom is the right word to use, but not if it is too highfaluting for a character whose point of view is simple.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to get point of view right for the character. A simple woman, in her thought life, won't use words she would not use talking to a friend. Writers generally have quite wide vocabularies, but where it comes to point of view, they can't use them all no matter how tempting.

This has recently been my world as I went over my Oregon historical to make sure it passed muster-- which is very important to me. I want my book to go out with zero errors. I am not sure they ever do.

Editing is about a lot more than Word's warnings, but they force me to look at a passage for a clearer way to make my point. I recognize though that sometimes a round about way of saying something is better, when the goal is create a word picture for the reader.

If you didn't get enough grammar yet, give this article from the New Yorker a try--

Comma Queen

on writing and editing

After mentioning how much time I spent editing my books, like the whole summer, I thought it might be of interest what that means. Assuming you are doing your own, cannot afford to hire a professional editor, as best I know it, there are various ways to approach the job. I'll discuss two.

A writer can literally edit each chapter as they go. Write a chapter and go at it word for word as they write. Make sure each word/sentence/paragraph/page is polished before going onto the next. Have an outline nearby and stick to its basics. If they vary from it, they have a good reason and create a new outline.

If such a writer has a beta group to check what they are writing, they'd write that chapter, probably still trying to keep it right for spelling, punctuation, consistency, etc. Then send it off to their readers or even their editor-- while writing on the next chapter. When it comes back, they will take into account what the beta readers thought, if there is a majority opinion and, if it was also sent to an editor, what they suggested. Use what works and argue about what, as the writer, they believe did not.

Basically chapter by chapter editing, with or without beta readers, likely means the book is ready to go out the day it's finished.

There is another approach to editing, and it's mine. It's how I used to paint and sculpt also. Write it in a white hot heat of feeling the energy of the story. Don't worry if it's perfect, although for those who tend to write with grammar as a natural part of their writing, it's not going to be totally unreadable. Basically this approach captures the characters, the plot, much of the dialogue. For me, those aspects usually end up being what stays with the book. 

For any book I have ever written, I had spent a lot of time thinking about it before I ever start writing. I know the characters and what I want them to be. I know the plot. What I have fun with along the way are the things that crop up, which I didn't expect. That doesn't keep me from the ending I knew it would have. The ending can be tweaked, but the gist of it won't be different.

Ideally I set my rough draft aside for a couple of weeks and work on other projects. It's hard to do an edit when you literally just finished-- it's too fresh.

Some writers have a different purpose for each subsequent edit. They look at specifics like say spelling or logic, etc. 

My approach is that I go for the polish whether it's the first or the seventh. I look for typos, punctuation that is missing, and the long blue line that Word uses to say a sentence is not correct. I always check out Word's opinion, but sometimes they are wrong especially when it's dialogue. In editing, I look for consistencies of timing and character behavior.

If in editing the first time, I can enrich a scene by more details; or if it had too much detail, I'll add/delete it there. The future edits are less likely to add but might still end up with deletions. 

Edits are also where I double-check my research when I come across specific points where I can see there might be a question. Literally I don't write anything that I haven't researched first, but sometimes I've forgotten the details, and I look for my notes or go back to the original source to be sure I got it right. This is true for historic, of course, but also contemporary. There are a ton of ways to goof up even a contemporary.

With each edit, I look for where I can enhance the action. This happens  a lot with 'said' where it is better to insert the accompanying action instead. It still must make clear the character speaking.

Editing also looks for consistency in thinking. I don't have this happen often but if say a character has a fear of snakes and the next chapter is handling one with no fear, that doesn't work. Likewise I ran into one, early on, where I had a heroine who didn't like coffee and then had her drinking it one morning on her desert patio. Definite no-no.

Recently, when I had edited a rough draft that I had written in one lunar cycle, I was very upset that on the sixth edit, I still found redundancies or places I'd gone on and on. I had not expected that. For awhile, it gave me some doubt about my writing ability, but I looked at the characters, dialogue, plot, conflict, the WWW, and felt overall it was all I wanted it to be. 

The characters and story warmed my heart where I wanted it to do so and made me feel the action. A writer has to find all of that in their own writing or there is no hope any reader will. If reading it to edit makes me lose interest in the story or feel it's blah, it probably means the book has a bigger problem than punctuation. 

CreateSpace

For writers who have not yet opted to create a paperback, I thought my experience with the process might be helpful-- as it benefited me to hear from others what they had learned. I am a huge believer in writers encouraging each other. The pie is not a small one; and if one piece is taken, somebody gets left out. It's a big world; and the more people read, the more they may choose to read-- hence encouraging each other is not diminishing our chances in the writing world-- it is increasing them.

CreateSpace is where we opted to create Arizona Sunset as it's an easy adjunct to Amazon who will then list the book (in our case) along with its Kindle twin. CreateSpace makes it easy to submit a book; and if the writer is not handy with tech issues, they will do the work for a range of prices from $247 for a basic book on up for more complex books. They also offer free templates to create covers if someone isn't into that (That's my department and I am into doing those).

When they get your book, they even look for mistakes. How much better can that get? On the technical end, it's not that difficult to maneuver through their instructions-- or so the more techie savvy Farm Boss assures me... Even though it took him hours and three proofs to get it all figured out (they promptly mail you finished (so you think) proofs for which you pay a reasonable price for the book and shipping).

The beauty of this approach to self-publishing is you aren't stuck, as some of my self-publishing friends have been, with a garage or attic full of books that you cannot sell. CreateSpace doesn't require any outlay or purchase of your own work. Books are only created as they are sold. You set a price for the book that you agree they will be in stores or through Amazon to avoid unfair competition. Your price has to cover CreateSpace charges, Amazon's percentage or the store's if you opt to sell books on consignment-- as well as leaving the writer something.

You have the choice of letting them purchase (and own) your ISBN or doing it yourself and they will use it. For someone like me with a lot of books, the logical approach was buying my own and getting the package of ten because we do plan to bring many of the other books out as paperbacks now that we have figured out the process.

As you look through the options, one will be the size of the book. The length of your book is one factor in that cost. Since my historical is a fairly long book at 128,587 words, we opted for the 5.5"x8.5" which is standard in bookstores but not the smaller and thicker size of many romance covers. Some of these choices will impact the cost of printing your book.  We were aiming for something that looked reasonable for books in bookstores.

For those wishing to do a photo book or maybe art, with a lot of interior images and maybe wanting them to be in color, the cost would go up and accordingly make your book have to cost more to the buyers.  But even then, your original cost would only be proofs and any copies you wished to purchase for gifts or to sell on consignment. Some writers take to shows or stores where they can do book signings and potentially get more sales. I haven't decided yet on consignment sales but definitely do not plan signings or going to shows. I think that works better for a different sort of book than mine.

The beauty if it is, and I know I am repeating it, these books are published on demand; so there is no cost to the creator other than their proofs-- unless they need help putting together that proof.

To me, seeing the proof is essential. Yes, you can see it online without a purchase but it shows up better when it's in paper and you can more easily evaluate how it worked out. If it doesn't look professional, only family or close friends will be buying it and even they won't be happy.

My plan now is that in late November Tucson Moon will come out in Kindle and paperback. It stands alone as a romance but, set three years later, carries forth some of the characters from Arizona Sunset (and yes, whenever I finish the fourth Oregon historical, it's possible there will yet be a further historical about the O'Brian family as there were a couple of possible characters I could see carrying forward.

With nine more ISBN numbers, we plan to bring out some of my contemporaries in paperback. The first of those will be Desert Inferno because its heroine is an O'Brian and the ranch on which she lives gets its start in Tucson Moon. O'Brians are also in the contemporaries Evening Star and Bannister's Way. They were an interesting family with an Oregon branch (all from my imagination, of course).

Finally, I want to add on a personal note that I have so appreciated the help and encouragement from friends in all that has happened since I began bringing out my eBooks but nobody has contributed as much as my publisher, editor and partner in the whole operation. It takes that kind of support, I think, in any creative endeavor; and I sure appreciate his particularly in dealing with the techie end of all this. :)

pitfalls in editing

I suppose if this was just a blog to sell my books, I'd never admit the following. Writers must pretend it is all wonderful, and the books all perfect, right? Not so much.

Of all the things I  have learned in writing my books-- editing is the hard part. And I don't mean it takes more talent to do it or anything like that. Just it's where so much can go wrong. No matter how many times you, the writer, reread what you wrote, things get by you.


The solution some claim is to find a good editor, pay them what they are worth and hence avoid this. It isn't that easy. First of all, a really good professional editor (which doesn't mean you don't have a great friend who can do a great job) will want over a thousand dollars to edit your book.

Seem like too much? It's just what it is as they have to read the work with an eye to detail, and they have to know as much about the craft of writing as you do-- or even more. There are many editors out there who will do it for less, and they are quite capable of totally screwing up your whole work because they don't understand why your dialogue is as it is. They don't know the market any better than you do. They will use Word (which you should have already used) and it not only isn't always right but can put in the wrong words; and correct grammar sometimes can make a sentence unwieldy and unnatural to read. Perfect grammar isn't always what sounds right.

A writer wrote a book recently which I got for free for my Kindle but it is currently $.99. I won't say it had a lot of new info in it but it's about the pitfalls in self-publishing-- [The self-publishing industry in denial].  Kind of negative but let's face it, there are millions of books out there and how do you get yours seen? What goes wrong when you put it out?

If you pay that pro $1500 to edit your book, for which they will catch all the logical goofs and the mistakes in unwieldy sentences. The pro might also tell you about redundancies (which you could have already gotten if you had done a search for key words). They could tell you when something sounded cliched. If they're really good, they could tell you the plot made no sense at a point where you then have to justify why it did or change it. If you did too much retelling of the same thing, they'd catch it. That's a little of what you get from a top-notch editor.

The bad editor, well you paid them a few hundred dollars or less; they use Word (like you should have done) and maybe catch the use of coffee in one sentence and tea in the next-- or maybe not. But still you have money in it and how much money can you get out of that book once you are selling it? Where does any of that get your book seen by enough readers to get its ratings higher? How does that get great reviews because reviews are as much emotion as perfect grammar?

One way many authors get great reviews is they ask friends, they review friends' books and the symbiotic relationship benefits both for reviews-- which might be truthful depending on the friend. Mostly though people don't like to find fault with their friend's work, and they sure don't want a negative review of theirs; so they overlook the glitches with what they write. The reader comes along, buys the book based on that glowing report, starts to read and recognizes it's not legitimate praise-- hence their own review is sarcastic, negative, and the writer is back where they started with a mix of reviews and the next potential reader unsure what the heck this book is like.

What brought this on for me is my own recent re-edit for the first book I turned into an eBook. I had originally written it maybe more than 20 years back, edited, edited again and thought it was out in fine form. I thought I had corrected any inconsistencies. Here I was, doing it again for its paperback version and........... grrrrrrr

Yes, when I got into it again, I found so many errors of the stupid kind that at first I felt like throwing in the towel on ever writing for publication. The book is still solid. The story is still one in which I believe. I love the characters and the situation into which they are thrown-- but those stupid errors. How could they still be there? If I go into this book again in six months, will I find others? Or do I finally have it in its right form? I honestly cannot say because I do keep improving as a writer but as an editor-- I can only hope.

When I bring out a book, I use grammar and spell check to catch things Word sees as wrong or awkward. When it underlines it and I disagree, I think about it long and hard.  I read the book for logic, to keep the times consistent, characters not doing something right after I said they were doing something else. Word doesn't catch errors of the stupid sort-- only an aware reader can do that.

The most recent read through and editing has made me mad at myself, but it doesn't make me believe a professional editor would have done better for me-- unless I had paid them that $1500 as I actually did some years back on another of my books. I learned a LOT from that professional and felt it was the equivalent of taking a class as I'd get my manuscript back with red-lines and notes. It was worth it for the learning, but if I did this for all my books today, I'd be in hock and never have the profits capable of paying it back.

The truth is if a new author makes say $7000 in a year, they are doing really good. Those like the lady who wrote the million dollar books are rare indeed out in the indie or corporate world. $7000 or so is not a living wage, but it keeps that book out there to be seen, keeps sales coming, and to me it's very successful. It keeps the potential readers coming to them. It's A+ in my book. That isn't what most indie writers probably make. Some make nothing. Others, like me, might make $700 counting all of their sales. Where do you pay for editing any book let alone all of them?

The truth is even the books going out from big publishing houses often have errors because editing is a big expense in an iffy market. They expect the writer to hand them a finished work. The writer thinks they did. I thought I did with this book. Its plot, characters, dialogue, are all good (in my opinion) but the glitches... Argh (a word not in spell check but should be). After doing it so many times I cannot believe I missed these mistakes but clearly I did; and this time I hope I am not missing others. I am reading it for both the beauty of the sentences but also the flow of logic.

What it at first made me feel is-- write don't publish. Writing is rewarding. Realizing I made these kinds of amateurish mistakes, that I thought I was past, that's not so rewarding. But I can't afford to think negatively about this. I do believe in my stories. I have never put out one I didn't like myself and that wasn't a book I'd be happy to buy from someone else.

And for this book. I believe in it still. I fixed the mistakes.  I can make it the best book I can write today. I can make sure there are no inconsistencies or places where it's coffee one moment and tea the next. What I can't do is be sure that in six months, if I look at it critically again, I won't find places I can improve it.

If my creative work is what matters the most to me. If I want to put out the best product I am capable of doing, then I just have to keep at this and not become depressed at the fact that in six months I'll be a better writer.

However, I can see why some writers never publish... I want to publish and so am at least glad that if someone bought one of my books and I have improved it (I have had this happen with the books of others that I have bought), they can download the new version for free. It's the best I can do.

Incidentally if you bought Desert Inferno, go back to your Kindle in say three days (give Amazon a bit of time-- make it four) and ask for the newest edition. It'll be out there and fixed! The story stays the same but those glitches-- they're gone... er uh, in case you find one that isn't-- email me............................

This book will also be out in paperback probably in a month given the time to look over proofs. The heroine of Desert Inferno is a direct descendent of the marshal in Arizona Sunset. He has his own story coming in Tucson Moon-- out in late November.

Arizona Sunset

Titling a book is one of the interesting challenges to writing it. Once in awhile the title is obvious and comes easily. Twice I've titled one I had published and changed it after it had come out because of readers not liking the original, it proving to be misleading as to the story's essence, or my own decision that it wasn't going deep enough and I suddenly realized I knew what would.

One of those changes was minor tweaking, the other changed the whole feel of what the story was about to my original intent. I've had a few books that haven't sold particularly well, might do better with a different title, but I am glued to their titles because of what they say about the deeper meaning of the book. I am convinced (optimist that I am) that someday their titles will touch the right readers and they will be glad I kept them.

What I always want with a title is that in the fewest possible words it take a reader to the deepest level of the story. It's about the bones, the structure and has to hit that button with minimal words.

This is the case with the final title I oped for the historical romance coming out this month. Originally I wrote this book over twenty years ago. The plot has stayed consistent and likewise the characters even as I have improved my writing skills. Through the years it has had couple of working titles. None quite said what I wanted.

Yes, it's a love story, an historical, and a western; but the message is about how we can think we are at the end, where there seem to be no options and then something opens up and changes not only how we see that but what we can do. It is about not closing ourselves off to these changes. It is about how life can throw us surprises but it's how we deal with them that makes the difference. It is also about cycles.

Sunsets are apt metaphors for cycles as they appear to be the end each day. A sunset can be something that simply ends the day with nothing special or can be incredibly beautiful. They aren't the end even as they appear to be each day as what comes next is the darkness of night. Arizona is famous for their sunsets and with just cause.

Arizona in the title came because the story and characters are set in Southern Arizona.

Oregon Trail 1852

 image photoshopped from my photos, one taken at the 

Oregon Trail Museum in Baker City, Oregon

Before I began working on the manuscript based on Oregon after the Civil War, I had to do two things. One was look again at my earlier research, the other was read and that means edit again the two stories that came before it. This was important as a way to remind myself about these characters and keep the family real as the third story has a heroine who was daughter and sister in the other two.

The first of these books is based on the Oregon Trail in 1852. Even then, not all pioneers chose to travel with big trains. Some, for economic reasons, went by in small groups or by themselves-- the most likely ones to get attacked by Plains tribes. This story is, however, about one of the big wagon trains with a wagon master, scout and two hired men.

When I read it, for the purpose of keeping my ducks in a row for the third book, I felt fine with it. Like yeah, it works. When I finished the third, I began to rethink the first. Often frankly a writer's first romance isn't worth reading. They throw everything into it and when they finally have the ability to bring it out, a reader knows why it hadn't been accepted originally by publishing houses. Some of this can be true with books you never submitted anywhere and are bringing out on your own as an ePub.

My first story, because it's part of a series presents an additional problem. It's not just that it's difficult to make it as good as what I am currently writing, but that book absolutely has to be there. It is the opening to a series that requires the first even though any of them can be read independently. 

My concern was, that unless i got into it very critically, the first one could lose potential readers for the rest. The more i thought about it, the more I knew I had to go back and brutally slash some of my favorite scenes. It was just too long.

The thing with this first book is that I began it when I was younger than the heroine who is 18. It arose out of something a younger cousin and i used to do at family gatherings where we would go for walks and tell stories. We'd take our characters through a series of events taking turns describing what happened next. Matt and Amy came from those walks.

Some years went by; and when I'd have been a little older than my heroine, I began to type the story on an old, black, hit-those-keys-hard typewriter. That manuscript was rewritten more than a few times and was the one I later worked over with a consulting writer where I would send her sections in the mail and get back red-lined critiques, chewed up as badly as a school assignment. From a professional, that kind of help is costly but so valuable as she taught me things that have gone with me through every manuscript since.

It is the story of the trip west but also of two families of very different natures, of youth, innocence, thwarted passions, and love. The youthfulness of the main characters frankly made it difficult for me now that I am nearly 70 and looking at these characters from the perspective not of a girl but of an old woman. 

Although it's about young people, it's not a young adult romance, but it has the angst and desire that the young especially experience where everything is more than it might seem later based on hormones and inexperience. There is an innocence in the story which I think is part of that westward movement but also complicated getting it to fit into line with the next books.

When I originally wrote it, I did a lot of research on the trip west. When you do that, it's tempting to put it all out but that interferes with the story. There are moments I particularly have liked, but they had to go. I am thinking some might be kept as vignettes for the blog and a way to inspire interest in the journey. The vignettes though don't belong in the book. As I took out about 8000 words, I think I pared it down to what actually does... I hope.

old photo from the Oregon Trail Museum, Baker City, Oregon

reviews of the books-- the upside

 Of all the things I have learned through becoming an indie writer, I'd say near the top of the list is the value of reviews by readers. I do not get a lot of them; but between those at Amazon and the ones I come across elsewhere on the Internet, I have gotten enough to see their value for any author.

Reviews by someone who likes my books are of course the most pleasurable. It makes a writer feel good to meet the needs of someone else. It's a little wahoo or a big one sometimes. It's even better when it comes from someone I personally know who tried one of my books. I feel the most potential responsibility and nervousness when a friend has taken the risk of buying one. If they like it, it makes the reward of a positive review even sweeter. I do not have the kind of friends who'd lie about it or write a positive review somewhere that they did not mean. I wouldn't do that for their art or writing either.

Part of reviews, of course, is the negative ones. Now if they are about something I cannot change, I simply have to accept that I can't please everybody. I've had a few where they said they'd have liked the books better without the sex. Well I consider healthy sexuality to be an important part of my stories. I don't go on for pages and pages, am not too graphic, but in the end, writers have to write what is their story.

One reviewer wrote that they read 80% of Bannister's Way, got bored and quit. That was like wow-- really! Not even curious enough to skip to the end for how it worked out? That's what I do when a book is turning me off.

Well I went looking for what happened at about that time, had to guess, but decided any of the possibilities were things I would not want to change. They were an important part of the essence of the story. I just have to feel bad for that reader that they wasted their time, but it's part of the deal for a writer to accept that it happens. Our stories simply won't meet the needs of everybody.

When a negative review deals with something I can change, a mistake that I made, or that I should look at, that's when I truly feel reviewers do the most for me. One of those occurred coincidentally (or not) for Bannister's Way.

I have to say this book has had some of the most disdain from readers of anything I've written, but it was usually involving its title or cover. It had another title when it began, Golden Chains. It seemed apropos to the story because it's about love which can be a sort of chain (but one worthwhile) and also about Prometheus where chains are part of the mythology and the sculpture for which the hero will be posing. That title really turned off readers. I was and always am open to thinking of a different title-- hence was born Bannister's Way which also suited the story.

Once in awhile I write a book that does fit into a series and Bannister's Way is one. It arose from another book, Desert Inferno, where David Bannister was an important secondary character. I had liked him enough that I began to think of writing a book using him.

That led to five years later when David went undercover to solve a murder as he hoped to reconcile with his ex wife. I set it in Portland and gave my artist heroine the kind of home along the Tualatin River that I'd love to own. (Incidentally, two of the secondary characters in this one were the hero and heroine of Evening Star).

Now the review, that led to a changing this book once again, was actually positive regarding the book itself, but the person said that was despite its cheesy cover. Huh!!! I had some concern that the hero might look a little too young on its cover but cheesy? I looked the word up although it's hard to say if it meant that to the writer. It said-- inauthentic, trying too hard, unsubtle. hmmmm

I was a bit in shock but reconsidered it once again for the umpeteenth time. You know, our books deserve the most we can give to them; so I began looking through the model images I had purchased this year from CanStock. Some I'd gotten after I had done that cover. When I saw the right face, I knew this was going to be a positive move and went looking for some of my recent ocean photos.

Thanks to that negative comment, I am soooooo much happier with how the cover portrays David Bannister. I think he now looks stronger, the right age, has more of the Michelangelo's David look, and seems tough enough to do what I wrote he was doing. Yes!

It did require redoing the trailer too but that wasn't too difficult (other than giving up the viewer numbers I had had for the old one). Good things come with a cost but that is a small one. And that reader, who made the cheesy comment, will never know how much they helped me.

Positive and negative reviews really can be good for the author. You can't run around changing everything that someone else doesn't like, but sometimes what they don't like can lead to an improvement.

Bannister's Way Trailer

inquiring minds want to know

One of the nice things about writing books and having them published somewhere is that you get reviews. One of the not so nice things about writing books and having them published somewhere is that you get reviews. It is always a mystery as to how someone found a book, why they chose it, and for the most part a writer never knows-- unless they do get a review.

The latest example of this had me scratching my head as I tried to figure out exactly what the review meant. Mostly it was a nice review, but it said the cover was terrible and even titled the review about the awful cover. Now I might normally not have much to scratch my head about regarding covers. They've been disliked before; but in this case, I just changed the cover myself before having read that review. So it presents a question.

Did they dislike the current cover or the one prior to it?

I did a little mental gymnastics as I tried to work that out. The book was free the 16th and there have been no recent purchases of it. So I shall assume that reader got it free. I changed the cover the 17th which meant it would have been seen by the 18th on Amazon's site. The review as written though the 20th. So, did the reader, when they got ready to write a review look at the cover they had purchased.... or the one that is currently on the site?

To add to my uncertainty, I have taken a lot of books, bought some, gotten some free, and not sat down to read them yet which means the reader might've had that book for months or more. That book has had a LOT of cover changes since I first published it. The question in my mind right now though is-- does it need one more? Is what I just did there, that I liked, was it the terrible cover to that reader???

There is no way to ask the reviewer because one of the things readers in Forums emphasize over and over is don't write the reviewers, don't comment on their reviews as it is intimidating and even if you say thanks it is regarded as invasive. So I have to work this out for myself by looking at what I currently have there and deciding if it is good or does it need yet another change?

The reader also caught a glaring mistake which totally amazed me that it had slid by myself and other readers until now. It wasn't a huge deal but it was a VERY obvious mistake in the storyline-- minor, not damaging to the plot, but also not right. I can correct it and will for future readers.... but about that cover.............

negative reviews and the ego

Recently, when I read a negative review of one of my books, it stopped me in my tracks. Huh!! The reader said she (assuming it's a she) liked about 80% of the book but got to a place where it became boring, boring boring. So boring in fact that she labeled the book-- DNF (did not finish).

Well this shocked me on several levels. First because even when I hate a book, and I've hated plenty through the years, if I've read part of it, I always want to find out how it ended. To literally not care what happened to these people you spent 80% of the book interested in, that is really hating it!

So I went looking for where the book might've fallen apart for this reader but before I go into that, here's my blurb for it--

Raven didn’t want her ex-husband back. She didn’t want to want him at all! Although her life wasn’t all it could be, David Bannister, who recklessly did things his way, could only add complications.

As part of a murder investigation, Bannister’s plans included getting his ex back but hadn’t included modeling nude for her art class. Life has a way of throwing ringers into our plans. For David that included a sly murderer who was not just willing but maybe even eager to kill again.

A small, Oregon, college art department-- such an unexpected setting for a vicious murder. Whom among the artists might be the killer? The story entwines itself with the Greek mythologies, particularly that of Prometheus, a god who with the best of intentions gets himself in big trouble-- a prototype for Bannister’s life. There is some spice, a sly murderer, Oregon, and a question—can love be better the second time around? Adult romance.

Previously titled—“Golden Chains” at 94,000 words now expanded to 100,400 words. Trailer at YouTube-- Bannister's Way

 It's hard to say if I would have lost this reader if it had been shorter. I looked at what was happening at what might've been the 80% point and saw two things that might've lost interest so forcefully.

Besides being a love story, this is also a murder mystery. With no overt clues, the hero has to find a motive for the crime as it appears to be the only way to catch the perpetrator. Perhaps where the story got into that possible motive, it got too arty for someone looking for a straight romance.

The other possibility is about there is where I expanded the role of three old ladies who I thought were interesting, informative about life, and fun to write. Might be the reviewer did not see it that way. The review didn't give a clue as to where the 80% point was reached.

At any rate, what I took away from this review is my books aren't for everybody. As romances, mine will always have more to them. The 'more to them' is what makes them fun for me to write. It also is most likely what the publishing houses didn't like.

Besides a man and a woman's complex relationship, this book is about the world of art, the difficulties of creative work, education, as well as how detectives sometimes operate. It's set in a place I particularly like but not a place that everybody might find exciting. I have long ago realized I cannot please all the ones who might get hold of one of my books. I do have a good sense of what I am trying to do with each story and try hard to get that accurately across in the blurb. I don't want to mislead.

I am happy that most likely this reviewer at least got it for free as the date of her review was right after one of its free times. That pleases me because she didn't have to ask for a refund (it has happened), and it means it was a free book that at least got partially read (when they are free, who knows).

It also is going to have me thinking more about that 80% point in future books. Do I change something there that loses the tempo of what went earlier. I won't alter this book as I like the three old ladies, the art community/murder investigation, and the conversations about art; but I will think about the next ones long and hard to be sure at 75% I don't start losing my original focus and hence the readers.

I think reviews, even the painful ones, are helpful to a writer so long as the reviewer really was expressing how they saw it and not just having fun tearing something apart (that happens too). I felt this review was serious and meaningfully given. Negative reviews don't mean I will change things because there is a certain rhythm that I look to create and use. Sometimes though I can do something differently that at least will let the reader finish the story :).

When one book leads to another

Editing on my Arizona historical romance has proven beneficial in an unexpected way. Always I had known that the marshal in this book, a secondary character, was the ancestor of the later O'Brians both in Desert Inferno and also in Evening Star. He was the one who settled the ranch that family still owned when they had to fight for it again against dangerous smugglers. Randy, from Evening Star, looked like that marshal and even took his career path as a lawman but with cowboy right under the surface.

But I had never figured I'd write his story. I had another hero for this one, and he was the one on my mind. That was true until this final editing when I realized I did know Marshal O'Brian's story and his romance-- even an unexpected connection to the hero of the one coming out in September. Instead of being about the area further south of Tucson and east to Tombstone, this one would go into Tucson's own corrupt history as well as to the southwest to the settling of what became the Circle O.

As a marshal who is disillusioned with the constant battles, Micah (what I think his name will be but that could change) faces trying to find fairness for a town. He is a man who knows the pain of loss as his wife died in Kansas of cholera and he had to leave his daughter there for grandparents to raise as he had no way to do it as a lawman. He makes a totally fantastic romance hero-- as well as a fun way to once again put some history into one of my romances.

Where I had a bit of a problem was coming up with who his woman would be. Once I thought about it a bit, that was also answered in the book I've been editing.

The unfortunate part about this is I am not remotely in a position to start this story. I do though know what it'll be although its title is still iffy in my mind, and I am wondering if this future book might change the title for the book that will lead into it. It would be nice to have the titles fit a bit together as my Oregon series titles do.

My main reason for not starting writing this one right now is my obligation to finish that three book series about the settling of Oregon. I had the first two done and only needing editing, but the third, that one I owe a finish and that will be what I start on right after this book is ready to go. It's been fun though to come up with this new story. Writing new books is a LOT more fun than editing, editing and editing the finished ones.

My excitement though on the plot for this second Arizona story will give me motivation to get busy as soon as I can for the one set in Portland, Oregon, the John Day country, and right after the Civil War.

When writing, often one book leads to another. That's the fun of writing.

A bit of this and that

Editing is progressing pretty well on the western historical which I wrote probably fifteen years ago. It will always be a story dear to my heart for assorted reasons including my love of that country, of this kind of western, and my feeling it speaks to my own life in many assorted ways including through dreams. When I wrote it, I didn't know how much that was true.

So I am trying to keep at it, get its facts in order, and at the same time enjoy our northwestern summer as it isn't that long for it to be here, and so much of mine gets caught up in ranch needs at this time of the year.

All the hay is on the property, the fences have been expanded and fixed where needed. The stream is holding up well for irrigation. The cattle are happy with their new tall grass to explore, elk will be less thrilled although they can jump the electric lines. We had a new calf this week; so so far so good. When you raise livestock, you always say that as the future can change very rapidly where it comes to ranching. So, it's good-- for now.

On a personal level I am trying to get my act together regarding diet and exercise. Frankly I have let both go again, and my body is telling me about it. When I was younger, I could cheat that way and pick it back up quickly. At nearly 69, I can't get away with it. I find myself short of breath doing anything which is partly overweight and partly lack of healthy activity. I'm trying to work on both while still getting that new book ready for September.

Our Northwest summer has been great ever since we got past June. Seems June has now become more like spring. I am hoping that means September will continue to be more like summer.