Last day of Summer

We haven't had constant high temperatures but the humidity has been a pain and my roses are really struggling as a result. La Nina is to blame, I hear. At least we aren't experiencing the torrential rains that our northern neighbours are. 

I rang the superannuation company and I can put money in until I turn 67. Now we have to see if the solicitor will place it directly into my super account to bypass himself or it could be considered a gift even though we both live under the same roof.

My appointment with the job person is a touch base (read: tick box) on her part and will be done over the phone.

Today I did some weaving and a few puzzles. Tomorrow I have to go out to buy the birthday presents for the two friends we are celebrating with on Wednesday. J will get a voucher to the expensive yarn store and K will get a care package with a voucher for a massage, a nice bottle of wine and some other bits and pieces to make her feel special.

Himself renewed his annual membership with the Shed today. At least he hasn't given up on it all together.

The good ... reduction in stress levels

The bad ... Murphy being a pain when I try to groom him

The ugly ... the knots on Murphy's belly.

And to even up the scales

The good ... someone who will groom Murphy for us!

The better ... wine

The best ... honest tradies who happily fix things. (Our path is cracking and the bloke that laid it said it's the concrete underneath lifting which he made the decision to asphalt over. If he can't fix it he will rip it up and start again. NOT the driveway: that is perfect - just the front garden path)

I have bailed on nice sister in law. We were meant to catch up tomorrow and I would have had to play nice with brother which I can easily do. I've been doing it all my life.

But a migraine, ongoing headache and nausea, flare up of psoriasis and worsening arthritis in my fingers makes me think I need some real down time this week.

I have an appointment with the job people in person on Tuesday. Lifeblood rang me yesterday asking me to donate plasma now that elective surgery is back on. Himself wants me to ring the super fund to see if I can transfer his inheritance into my account. I am feeling pressured already. 

The news is devastating both here (floods) and overseas. 

A local talk back radio station has a segment on Fridays called "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" (cue music) where people ring up with, well, good bad and ugly.

When I feel like it I shall do the same here.

Today

Good: Family and friends

Bad: Increasing prices (have you seen the price of petrol? even basic grocery items have nearly doubled)

Ugly: Megalomaniacal leaders who have nuclear weapons and those let them wreak havoc. Wasn't the UN formed to prevent this shit from happening again?

Secrets

I wasn't going to post anything today cos, well, I had nothing to say.

I went to craft this morning and it was a lovely smaller group. Sock lady was there and showed me how to move on - I have knitted a whole centimetre!

I went to pick up my new glasses that were meant to make it easier for me to use the computer doing my zoom classes only to find they had used the wrong strength. I could see distance perfectly but 12" in front of my nose was a blur. Another 2 or 3 weeks and I should be right. I hope so because I had a doozy of a migraine last evening and they often are triggered by neck compression.

Himself and Three went to a car show and Sally ended up staying here with me which was fine.

We had a lovely time and ended up watching telly as she ate ice-cream and biscuits. I started down the whole "what happens at granny's" route. And the "don't tell mummy you had ice cream before dinner" thing. 

Then pulled myself up and tried to explain the difference between secrets between granny and sally and other people. Dug myself into a hole I struggled to get out of.

Now, I remember secrets between grandparents and grandchildren as being something special and I think that's what we have. Lollies, ice cream, staying up late, chocolate for breakfast. That sort of thing.

But in the current environment of child grooming and abuse I am so confused.

I hate having to second guess myself and I think children need the whole secrets thing. It makes life magical. But how do you explain good secrets and bad secrets. 

Some say there should be no secrets and I think that is sad.

Friday

What is happening in the world? It is really scary. Is it just chest thumping by an arrogant twat or will it escalate? Will we be plunged into war again? Will anyone side with Russia (which is needed for a world war)? Will China invade Taiwan? When will Western leaders stop waffling and apply the sanctions they keep threatening? But I am no politician nor do I really follow politics in any form much to Himself's dismay.

I choose to bury my head in the sand and focus on stuff in my small world.

Craft group today. Another lovely catch up although I was unable to work on my socks cos the lady who is teaching me wasn't there. How dare she!

Sally got the student of the week award and was very chuffed with herself. She had to ring Granny and Grumpy to let us know.

A good class last night. We covered colours and I had the weirdest dreams last night all related to colours. 

Alice used to be quite fussy as if she was always hungry. They started her on solids and BINGO different kid!!

She has gone from a fail to thrive when she was new to 75 percentile for weight. And her smiles melt your heart.

Like I said. My small world is all that really matters to me day to day.

Been thinking!

 Yesterday's comments gave me a giggle. I imagined you all saying Wednesday over and over again!

A quiet day today. A bit of weaving and Himself took the dogs to the park. 

I have my Auslan class tonight. 

Our teacher is, obviously, very passionate about Auslan and deaf culture. She strongly believes that all deaf people (children, especially) should be given the opportunity to learn to sign. She struggled as a child being forced to lip read and wear hearing aids, none of which she found easy or successful.

There is a long and fascinating history of deaf people in Australia if you're interested - just google it.

There seems to be a divide between those who think deaf people should be able to sign and signing should be accepted in our society, and those who think deaf people should learn to communicate verbally using spoken English and lip reading and/or hearing aids. If you have ever had blocked ears you will understand how hard that can be.

The invention of the cochlear implant certainly changed things for a lot of people but I have yet to meet anyone who has one and really thinks it is a wonderful thing. Sister in law was an audiologist and worked a lot with people with these implants and she said they weren't really satisfactory. I know a lot of kids hate them. The expectation is that these kids need to learn to speak and function in a hearing world or will otherwise fail. Isn't this a form of discrimination? Deaf people don't consider themselves handicapped or less than whole. 

Auslan and signing were developed by the deaf for the deaf. They are proud of their language and their culture.

Surely it should be up to the deaf themselves to decide how they want to communicate and they should be given the choices and the access to ALL methods. Yes, even children.

I am very mindful of Audism and am shocked to hear what deaf people experience day to day. Even writing this I had to bring myself up and challenge my thinking - we have been well and truly indoctrinated as a hearing society. We accept (well, most of us do) that migrants, refugees and tourists don't always speak or understand English and we do our best to accommodate them. Why not with the deaf community, then?

I would never expect everyone to learn Auslan (or whatever the sign language of your country is - yes, surprise: sign language is not universal any more than spoken language is) but I would ask you to think about how you think about deafness and be an advocate for change.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts. 

Wednesday

I went down a rabbit hole. I was looking for a video on how to pronounce Wednesday.

I feel there should be a very slight glottal hesitation between the We and the N. Barely noticeable but still there. Think of a hitch in the back of the throat rather than the tongue being directly behind the teeth. 

I will admit I am a bit of a pedant when it comes to English and how she is spoke.

Meanings change and so they should - eg sophisticated used to be an insult; retard was a medical diagnosis; nice used to mean ignorant (and maybe it still does!); artificial used to mean artfully created (a good thing) - and so it goes.

Language changes as populations change and are influenced by other cultures and accents. That is great.

But I can't abide laziness in speech.

If you can't do the glottal hitch that's fine. But the word is then Wensday. Not Wnsdi. Open your mouth.

And on that note, having no doubt offended people, I shall slink away.

I am sure you all have more important things to think about than how to pronounce the days of the week.

But if you want to waste a few minutes of your life google pronunciations.

You're welcome!

The viewing

I take my hat off to the funeral directors. They made Helen look like she was just dozing and would wake at any minute to ask if we wanted anything to eat and to stop fussing.

They took notice of the photos I showed her and my request that she was to have natural makeup. Even her hair looked right. This goes against so many horror stories I have heard where the deceased doesn't look anything like they did in life. (Amy's brother hanged himself from a tree when he was 16 and the funeral director didn't even remove the leaves from his hair).

Brother in law had his time with her. One came along as well and was glad he did. He admitted he couldn't see her in the nursing home as that wasn't how he remembered his Nanna. I assured him that was OK. We had our quiet time with her and then the four of us stood around the casket remembering stuff and laughing as if she was actually there with us. It was perfect.

The cremation was meant to be tomorrow at 9.30 but the doctor still hasn't produced the cause of death notice so at this stage it will on Thursday. It doesn't impact us but it will be nice to know when so we can pause for a moment.

 

later...

Class was good tonight. It was super challenging without an interpreter and my camera wouldn't work so by the time I got on I was debating how much I really want to do this! Fortunately we have an amazing teacher. It would be so much easier face to face but we are managing with zoom. I have joined the facebook page one of the others set up and it's good to debrief and ask questions.

Then I get this from Two ...

"FYI, finally decided it's time for Mads and I to upgrade the Lancer. Was driving girls to daycare and on the way back it just stopped mid journey. Gonna take it to the mechanic tomorrow but think it's time to put it out to pasture"

Me ... It's done bloody well all things considered (I gave it to them as a wedding present in 2016 as I upgraded)

Two "I took a photo. Can you show it to dad, see if he can work out what the issue is?"

Bloody kid! Obviously no one was hurt although all the airbags went off. The white car drove across into his lane in the wet. Both drivers shaken but OK.

And although the reasons weren't the greatest I got to speak to all of my sons today. And for that I am grateful.

Gently moving on

We had the appointment with the funeral directors today. There will be a viewing for my brother in law tomorrow. I will go with Himself for support but not sure if I will actually go into the viewing. We shall see. The cremation will be around 9.30 am on Wednesday. 

It is so different to when my parents and Himself's father died. We were frantically arranging funerals and organising the wake; writing eulogies and gathering photos to put to music which also had to be selected. My brothers did a lot for my parents but with Himself's dad it pretty much came down to me which I was happy to do - don't get me wrong. Brother in law was a mess as he had just lost his wife and Himself was dealing with the logistics of settling his mum into care. It was a nightmare of a time.

This is quite nice, actually. We chat about Helen when we feel like it and there is no sense of urgency. She would have hated a fuss.

I said I would weave nice brother a scarf and his wife said he likes earthy and sunsets so I am on the hunt for the appropriate yarn. I think I will catch up with K on Wednesday for a coffee at Spin a Yarn and see what they have.

I discovered a really nice Californian chardonnay (I am usually all for local but every so often try something from elsewhere). It was called fat bastard so I had to try it. I am now hanging out for wine o'clock! I also have a bottle of pepperjack shiraz which was on special. That is a lovely drop if you like a red.

Dinner tonight is baked salmon on a bed of veges with a home made roll. 

The aftermath

Dr Teacher and his wife have both been in contact. No mention of yesterday but thanks for the gifts and an invitation to their new home when they take possession later in the year. We have had a conversation and all is as good as can be expected.

Other Brother is being a righteous twat. Apparently he said that Himself is never welcome in his home again. Yet he still expects me to visit him here and in Italy. He is our mother personified. Which is really funny as he hated her and all the things about her that he is manifesting.

Snow will freeze in hell before I give him the satisfaction of feeling he has won one over Himself.

The end.

Today was one of the worst days I have had in a long time.

We had lunch at other brother and sister in law's with Dr brother and his wife. All went well until it didn't. 

I cried the whole way home. I have written over and over again what happened but it's really hard to explain.

I doubt I will see my brothers again. 

Favourite sister in law and I will still keep in touch. 

All I will say is that Himself, Other Brother and Dr Brother's wife can go and take a long walk off a short pier.

Vale Halina

Himself's phone rang in the small hours. This won't be good I said as I was roused from sleep. He put his phone on speaker and we were told his mother had passed away.

We went straight down to the ACF and sat with her for a bit. She looked so peaceful after her years of stress and pain. Kisses on the forehead and words of love.

She had a bloody hard life. In the end all she wanted was to care for people because that is all she had done all her life. Her mother, her husband and her children. Often all at the same time.

At 1am they had done a round and she was sleeping. At 2am they went to check her continence pad and she was non-responsive. 

It has been a harrowing day. We have informed those who need to know. It's interesting how many people, when informed of a death, recount their experiences with the loss of a loved one. It seems to be part of the ritual.

Himself went and cleared out her room and we will go through her things over the weekend. We have an appointment with the funeral people on Monday. At the risk of offending the Polish community there won't be a funeral. It will be a private cremation and the family will get together to remember her when they are ready. There are very few left of her friends and they can pray or remember her in their own way. Helen hated fuss.

Many tears have been shed today. A lot of guilt has been expressed. But that's the nature of death, isn't it? There are always the "what ifs". The "I should haves". The "I was going to".

But at the end of the day, as long as there is an "I loved you" - that is all that matters.

You can thank me now

After living without a working air conditioning unit in our bedroom pretty much since we moved here in 2017, we finally got around to getting it fixed. I can guarantee our run of hot nights is now over. Probably permanently or at least until it breaks down again. It is an old appliance.

Need rain? I'll wash my car (which actually means I'll get Himself to wash my car).

Don't want rain? I'll buy a new umbrella.

Don't want to attend a wedding? Snap lockdown.

Do not underestimate the power of wishful thinking.

My sister-in-law was lamenting her up coming visit to Italy. My brother loves Italy and would live there all the time if he could. They bought a run down, freezing cold/stinking hot (depending on the season) ancient (and I mean ancient - not just a bit old) apartment in a picturesque town in the middle of Italy a few years ago. They used to go there a couple of times a year. She was not particularly enamoured of the idea but went along to keep the peace. We were having lunch one day and she said she really didn't want to go that year. That year was 2020. China had nothing to do with Covid. It was my sister-in-law and her extreme lack of enthusiasm about her trip. 

They are booked to head off in April. I have told her to suck it up. The world can't cope with another one of her hissy fits!

A poem

 

Robert Frost would have to be one of my favourite poets. 

This could have been me this morning. 

Do you have a favourite poet? Please share.

We were meant to go to Little Woolies and then have lunch to celebrate J's birthday but her dog was vomiting and K and C were both unwell so we have rescheduled. The dog is ok, thank goodness - they were worried she might have a bowel obstruction. 

So the day has followed it's usual pattern. Himself took the dogs to the park. I spent a couple of hours faffing around on the internet and am now taking a break from weaving.

Tonight is Auslan - the days fly past. This will be our 7th lesson; beginning of week 4. I wonder if we lose the interpreter tonight.

I have done my wordle and several code cracker puzzles. Got to keep the old brain turning over.

  Much later

I finished the scarf from hell. I am very pleased with how it turned out but I am never weaving with that stuff again. I hope she appreciates it.

I am on a break from the course. We had an hour of how to use the technology, record and submit assignments. It meant there won't be much time for learning but it did clear up a lot.

Having a quick dinner of chicken and salad before we go back for the final hour.

My brain is full already.

Mosey Monday

 A quiet day.

I have done some Auslan homework.

Himself took the dogs to the park then took Murphy to visit the mother in law. She was asleep - which is pretty much her permanent state at the moment. She woke up when Murphy gave her a big lick and had a big smile on her face.

I have baked some rolls to go with the bbq chook and salad we are having for dinner. The rest are in the freezer for another day.

I am pushing on with the scarf from hell. At least it is working up quickly. I am trying to think positive thoughts about the recipient!

Today's challenge will be not having a glass of wine or 3. Iced tea and fizzy water will have to do.

Later ...

However, if the door slams open with a cry of "BAND-AID" again - all bets are off! He dropped two heavy planks of wood on a finger. Not too much damage that I can see but a glass of wine right now would go down a treat!

A perfect Sumday

 Himself is pottering in the garage building a retaining wall or something. He assures me he won't work outside because of the heat. Liar!!

I am warping up my loom for a scarf I was asked to make. I was provided the yarn and it didn't do much for me at all but I broke it into colours (it's a mandala for those in the know) and it's a bit more appealing. K has made me promise to stop weaving for nothing so this will be the last. A lot of work goes into them.

This is what I was given with some black to use as weft.

I think it might have been a second as the colours aren't even like they are here. 

Anyway. I will get it done and I hope she is happy with it.

Well ... warping it was fine but when I started weaving Oh My God. The yarn is sticky and almost impossible to work with. I guess it's fine for crocheting and knitting but I will never weave with it again. I will persevere but I am afraid I might have to ditch it which will be awkward.

I had Lord Huron playing as I worked. I love this band. I think Debby mentioned them a while back and I am hooked.

Pizza base proving in the fridge. I added some parmesan cheese to the dough. It will be interesting to see if we can taste it.

And on that note, it's wine o'clock and I am back to the scarf from hell.

A better day

We had our Saturday group today. A lovely bunch. Some still shell shocked from yesterday but we will move forward. Lots of laughs and Sally came and danced for us all. Then she spun around and around and made all us oldies feel quite sick!

The cafe had a fund raiser for a boy whose mother recently died. Her dearest wish was for him to go to Tooronga Park Zoo. 25% of the cost of the pies sold today went towards this. They were swamped. The owner said it was their busiest day ever. So lovely to see. Guess what we're having for dinner! I had a cheesy cauliflower pie for lunch which was delicious but it has been repeating on me somewhat.

It is definitely more like late summer now. We still get the hot days but (fingers crossed) the humidity is less and the nights cool down somewhat. 

It is Murphy's first birthday today. I think I might go and buy him a special treat.

High School

If anyone tells you craft is a gentle occupation sent them my way.

FFS I have never met so many self obsessed bitches in my life.

Fortunately I have good fellow admins and we can cut them off at the pass but it takes a toll on us.

I had a doctor's appointment today and we agreed to leave things as they are but I am to lose weight and return in a month.

Challenge on.

Challenge accepted? Ask me tomorrow

It is past wine o'clock as you may have gathered!

Dying

 When I worked in oncology one of the most frequent questions we got about palliative patients and the hardest to answer was "how long". I have seen people live for weeks longer than expected as they waited for a loved one to come from overseas and I remember one man die overnight after being given his diagnosis even though he should have had a couple of years at least. In his culture cancer was a death sentence. We had to battle with some families who asked us not to give the diagnosis which, in Australia, is unethical and probably illegal as we cannot provide treatment without informed consent.

This brings me to today. Himself went to see MIL. She was asleep as she usually is. Aroused enough to acknowledge him then went back to sleep. Staff say she is still barely eating and drinking but they offer something whenever they check on her. 

He has cancelled her phone as she cannot hold a conversation on it. He brought the modem back here and we were able to see what calls she had received of late. Most, obviously, over the past weeks have not been answered. Thanks to the power of the internet he was able to get the name of one of the callers and I rang her today with the news of the fall and subsequent deterioration. A hard call to make. This friend said the last time she spoke with MIL several weeks ago MIL fell asleep during the call and had forgotten who she was talking to.

Himself keeps asking me how long before she dies. I keep telling him no one knows but she is comfortable, pain free and will have a good death. What else can I say?

How hard can it be?

I finally got around to connecting my new phone to the big wide world. I had planned to treat it as a virgin (as in never been used not Richard Branson) phone but google and samsung had other ideas. After faffing around I realised it was easier to transfer stuff selectively (who'd a thunk that was a thing) rather than dump everything on it (which I thought was the only option) or try to reinstall each app. Those of you who have had anything to do with mygov, centrelink, services victoria will understand my reluctance. I am hoping those apps have happily transferred across. The process is still undeway.

A trip to Karingal to the vodaphone place to see if using the same sim card would cause any issues. "No now piss" off was the feeling I got from the customer service most unhelpful twit.

A quick stop for lunch at the local cafe - Himself suggested it ... I was gobsmacked. Then home to work out this damn phone. And that, my friends, is pretty much the day. And I thought technology was meant to make life easier. Although I cannot manage without my phone.

Himself is quite paranoid when it comes to safety. I have some faith but am careful. 

Baked spuds with bacon, coleslaw, cheese, sour cream and spring onions for dinner. 

And the humidity is back.

Tuesday

I went to another craft day today at Spin a Yarn. It was a blend of a couple of groups and personally I found it a bit awkward. It was nice to get out and have a few laughs, though. Our group always ends up laughing. 

I gave the scarf to my friend and she loved it. Now I can churn out a few easy ones for the craft market then get to making my placemats. I need more hours in my day. Or I need to get out of bed earlier!

I have my 5th Auslan lesson tonight. I enjoy it once it starts but I always feel a bit apprehensive beforehand. 

Himself went to Bunnings (because, you know, Tuesday) and bought a whole lot of timber to build something in the backyard to keep the dogs off the dirt or something. I think my idea of planting a small forest was a better one but it keeps him busy. 

This just about describes me today.

My brain is full of dumb.

Bit of a messy Monday

 

I had plans for today that were centered around weaving as I want to get the scarf I am currently doing off my loom and on to it's new owner so I can start weaving scarves to sell at a Girl Guides' craft market stall that Amy is going to do.

Needless to say best made plans and all that.

Himself went to the doctor about his ears and neck. He won't accept that he is deaf and has arthritis which is causing neck pain. He also won't take the pain killers I suggest nor make an appointment to see a physio or osteo who could at least massage some of the tension out of his neck and shoulders. 

I got a bit of weaving done while he was out and then we popped down to see his mother. She was in bed and confused. I thought we would come straight back home. 

We had to go to Bunnings to get something or other. Then we went to the shopping centre to get dinner (steak again - I can never have too much steak) and while we were there I thought I'd pop in and get some glasses to wear when I am doing my zoom classes as the multi-focals are really uncomfortable. It took longer to process the claim than to pick the glasses. I got the cheapest ones with no fancy stuff in spite of a determined sales person. I should have them in a couple of weeks. Then a visit to Aldi to see if they had any of their limited time salted caramel and fudge ice cream. They did. We are right for ice cream for a while, now!

Home finally and Himself has taken the dogs for walk to the park. I have jumped on here to update and will now go and pour a wine and do some weaving.

Full screen and sound up.

I hope you have/had a wonderful Sunday. It's a glorious late summer's day here - clear blue skies and a gentle breeze. Birds are singing and life is good.

Showing my age

When I first left home I lived in a one bedroom flat. Think a square. Half was the living area. A quarter was the bedroom and the remaining quarter was divided into 2 for the bathroom and kitchen. It was a popular design for flats in the 70s and they are still around today. It was walking distance to the local shops and the station. It was furnished with my bedroom furniture from home and the rest came from the op shop. Rent took half my pay and my parents did help now and again with the bills. But on the whole I managed. I made a lot of my clothes. I shopped in the sales and my grocery bill was what I could afford. 

When Himself and I got together he had some stuff from his first marriage and my op shop furniture came with me. That was replaced with corduroy covered foam furniture (very 70s) and then a lounge suite from my in-laws when they replaced it for a new one (that lasted until they died/moved into aged care).

Over the years we moved around and each house we bought had a mix of old and new furniture. Old always outnumbered the new and the new was the best quality we could afford with the intention of it lasting. 

In 2007 we sold our house to downsize and got a really good price and as a bonus the buyers kept (and paid for) our furniture. That meant we were able, for the first time in our lives, to buy furniture that really suited the new house we had built. 

I don't get the current obsession with replacing major items of furniture on a regular basis to create a new look. How the hell do people afford it? What happens to the furniture they are replacing? People don't seem to want second hand furniture any more. Even those who are setting up their first home.

Does it all go to landfill? 

In the past we have tried to sell well made and cared for furniture for not very much at all but no-one was interested. We gave it away. The people that took it were newly arrived and very grateful.

And, no, we weren't creating a new look! We downsized again when we moved here and we didn't have room.

How dare my generation pass any negative opinion on the younger ones. Apparently we are the ones that stuffed up the planet. Yet we weren't "influenced" bullied into the latest trend. We didn't need to walk everywhere with a coffee in a takeaway cup. We cooked meals at home and ate leftovers. We wore the same clothes for more than a year. 

And we didn't buy new furniture every time the seasons changed.

A quick one today

It has become a thing for me to post something everyday. OK, I sort of stuffed up on Australia Day but I did write something - it just didn't get posted but so far I have a post for every day of the year.

The course last night was good. I am becoming a bit more confident and we are learning to cope with zoom and its issues.

Craft today. Not that many but still a good laugh. Alice seems to be teething. She was very unsettled so Amy took her home for panadol and she seemed better after that. Two bottles and a couple of nappy changes and she was happy. I have two ways of driving home and the one I prefer takes me past Sally's school so I popped in with Amy and met her when she came out. She was knackered, poor kid. I don't think she has realised this is not a short term thing!

Himself has been having problems with his ears (I think I mentioned it on Monday) and today he woke up with one ear completely blocked and the other feeling like it had a skewer in it. I was able to get an appointment and he had the blocked ear syringed and is on antibiotics for the other which has an inflamed ear drum.

Another craft day tomorrow hopefully. I offered to fringe a scarf that K made for her mum so will get that done tonight for her. 

Steak again for dinner - no complaints here.

Messages from the past

Every so often a penny drops. Sometimes it's been dropping for decades and then I get an aha moment - today I had a WTF moment.

Andrew posted about sour milk. I made myself a very rare coffee (I usually only drink coffee when out) and smelt and tasted the longlife milk that has been in the fridge, opened, for longer than I can remember. It seemed OK but now that I am drinking it I am not so sure but that could also be the coffee.

This reminded me of when I was only 19 or 20 and was living with Himself (a bit risqué back in the mid 70s) in a flat in Robe Street, St Kilda which was THE street in the red light district. I had some interesting encounters walking home from work but they can wait for another day. I was working for a real estate agent and one of them came around for a coffee. He was old enough to be my father. I served him coffee with off milk and I didn't realise until he had left. The shame! 

I got to thinking why he was there. I can't remember but I do remember other male agents would also drop in or give me a lift home. 

I married shortly after this and left the agency. After we were married I went to work for a car dealership and had similar encounters with several blokes - all married. I thought they were just being friendly. I was so naïve. I thought being taken out for lunch (only me, never the other girls in the office) was them being nice. In hindsight I realise that there were some not so subtle messages being given to me but I was just so ignorant I had no idea. And I was married! It wasn't until I was working for the parts manager who told me that I was the sort of girl he would have taken to bed but never taken home to meet his parents. I was flabbergasted.

Some years before this I worked for LifeLine and there was a minister who provided counselling. He was another really nice bloke, married and lived in council housing because that was where he felt he could do the most good. He drove me home one day and gave me a big bear hug. It took me a while to figure out what was in his pocket - if you get my drift.

So here I sit 40 odd years later a bit bemused. What messages was I giving these men? I was incredibly shy, certainly didn't dress provocatively and for a long time looked much younger than my years. Thinking about all this (and I haven't for many years) makes me feel a bit sleazy as if I should have known something I didn't. 

I don't really know why I have written this today but it wanted to come out so here it is. I am a strong advocate for women being able to dress and be themselves without the fear of being accused of provoking men. I think everyone should be able to go about their day to day business without unwanted and unwarranted attention. I would like to think that what happened to me all those years ago would never happen today but I know I am wrong. I just hope we are raising people who will respect others. Regardless of their gender, sexuality, race, religion and abilities. I fear we have a long way to go.

Wobbly Wednesday

Last night I finally saw some results in my signing. It's not that I'm impatient or anything! The study notes are finally up and I have spent the last hour going over them. My head is spinning. It might be listed as a part time course but I reckon for every hour I am spending in class I will be spending at least that amount again on study, revision and assessment. This is quite normal in these days of self directed adult learning. 

I had brunch with K, T and J today. It is T's birthday tomorrow. We gave her a voucher to Spin a Yarn so she can buy some decent yarn for a change. She remarked on the anxiety rings K and I were wearing and joked was it a club? I gave her hers and she was thrilled. They are a great way to release a bit of tension when I would usually pick my fingers or chew my nails.

Himself and I went to visit Mother in Law. She was in a princess chair and we walked straight past her. She was dozing but roused enough to hold our hands and say thank you. We will go more frequently. 

We have been told she will never walk again.

Not much else to say today. I have a lot going around in my head but it doesn't want to spill out through my fingers yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Steak and salad for dinner tonight. 

Roses and memories.

I gave the roses a good mid season prune today. Some of them just needed a bit of dead heading and others needed a bit more. They fought back valiantly but I won. Just. Much blood was shed. I then gave them a good soaking and a feed. It will no doubt rain of course.

As I was pruning them I found a few had already set rose hips. This reminded me of being given rose hip syrup from a teaspoon as a very wee lass. Probably late 50's early 60s. Apparently rose hips are rich in vitamin C. I don't remember much about the taste other than being quite sweet. We then moved onto Ribena and eventually vitamin C lozenges. Did anyone else have rose hip syrup? It could have been an English thing. 

My mother was always a bit different. She was eating muesli and yoghurt long before it became a thing. Brown bread (even though in those days it was white bread dyed brown) until she decided to make her own stone ground wholemeal bread which was impossible to chew. Fortunately that didn't last long.

We went to New Zealand one winter and she decided the best way to prevent us getting colds was to drink cinnamon oil. During the second world war the women who worked in the cinnamon factory didn't get colds. My mother never did quite get correlation and causation. I don't know if anyone has tried cinnamon oil and, to be honest, I don't know why anyone would but it burns. Oh boy does it burn. Our top lips would sting for ages. We drank it in milk to reduce the sting except the oil didn't mix in with the milk - it floated on the top and stuck to our top lips. It is one of my main memories of what could have been a lovely holiday in NZ!

At some point in the 70s she discovered bio-strath. A swiss supplement that also tasted disgusting. My father used to tease her that it had fairies in the bottom of the bottle for all the good it did. I did a quick search and it is still being sold. I wonder if the fairies are still there.

Jinx's hot spots seem to be improving and Murphy is leaving her alone so we might not need to resort to spraying her. 

I have my Auslan class tonight. I am still really apprehensive about this but I will persevere. I have to keep reminding myself it's just certificate II.

I have a small bowl of roses on my desk. They smell lovely. I must remind myself to keep enjoying the simple things in life and not stress the rest.