25 weeks
This pregnancy has been different than the rest. In the first trimester I was so tired....so tired. I had terrible dreams. I fought nausea all day, it got worse at night. I had to lay down by 3pm otherwise my world would start spinning. I did not throw up as much compared to the other pregnancies. Usually, I get sick-throw up-get sick-throw up. This time I just felt terrible all day. At my 14 week mark I woke up expecting to feel better but I didn't. At 17 weeks I could tell the first trimester blues were over. I suspected maybe I wasn't as far along as I thought or this was an affect of age and 4th pregnancy.
At 21 weeks I remember sitting on the bleachers at the YMCA watching David's basketball class. It was hard to take a full breath. I was so uncomfortable sitting straight up without a back support. I had to go walk around for a few minutes. I felt bigger than only 21 weeks. Then again, the first trimester I found myself devouring cherry ICEE's and french fries. I stopped at more drive thru's in that first trimester than I had all year long. I bought little Caesar bread sticks once a week ( I have not eaten at Little Caesar's since 3rd grade in Alabama). I had the kid's order memorized at Taco Bell & Burger King. I also found myself eating avocados and cheese like crazy. I'm not a big cheese person but everyday I would have an avocado, cheese and tomato sandwich with salt and pepper.
The next day (at 21 weeks) I found out I was carrying twin boys. The morning of my ultra sound I was saying my prayers. I got up and this thought crossed my mind, "what if I have twins?" I dismissed the thought...because really doesn't every mother think that when she feels big? The reality of the pregnancy doesn't usually kick in until I actually see the baby at the ultra sound.
I walked into the ultra sound room feeling big and left wondering if I was big enough? Once I announced I was having twins my stomach made a big appearance! I actually have felt BETTER since finding out about the twins. It is a combination of Paul being much more nice and giving myself a break. I try not to tackle too many things. Trust me, my house is proof that I have been taking it easy. I look forward to the day when I have my energy back.
As of right now I will work on growing these babies and relying on the Lord. I become stressed when I think about the future. I can barely get Eden to school on time. I don't know how to solve the never ending fighting. Why is Ruthie still pinching? When am I going to potty train her? Why does it seem like Eden has yellow teeth? This weekend was spiritually enlightening for me. The spirit whispered to my heart that I need to rely on the Lord. I need to pray more. I need to put my family first. I need to not worry about myself and trust that my service and sacrifice will bring me happiness and peace.
It is grand being a mother.
