This Means War!

I am a peaceful person. I don't like reading or watching even fictional stories about war. But sometimes things occur and you simply have to say enough is enough.

Well, Blogger Buddies, on Saturday that's exactly what happened for me.

While making the bed I heard a faint scratching noise from outside. I couldn't see a thing through the window, so I stepped out the back door. On the corner of the rooftop I saw something hideous.



I went into the yard and found this...

and this on the other side...

Once again, some really rotten rodents (aka squirrels) have decided it would be a great idea to remodel my house for themselves. We went through this three years ago when squirrels chewed a huge hole in our soffit to build a cozy nest. This act of war resulted in the Great Squirrel Relocation Project of 2011. Looks like we're the victims of another attack, so we're on to the second World War.

As far as squirrels go, I've been live and let live. I don't care how many hang out in the yard. But taking over my house is more hospitality than I'm willing to offer.



The trap has been set and baited. I hope that dratted squirrel will be chewing on something far, far away from me and my house.



This is war, Squirrels. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Hey Mom, there's a tree rat in the back yard pointing at us and laughing.

Looking for Love?

Isn't it wonderful to come home early from work and get a few things done for a change? Today that's exactly what I thought until I opened the sliding door leading to our screened-in cedar porch. Bogey shot past me faster than a bullet. I lunged for him and missed. He leaped to a window sill. That's when I realized it.

We had company.

A squirrel had used the doggie door to make himself at home on the porch. Squirrel ran to one side of the porch followed by Bogey. Squirrel ran to the other side of the porch with Bogey nearly on his tail. I'm shrieking at Bogey trying to get him to stop because all I can picture is him catching Squirrel and getting bitten to pieces after which we'd spend the evening in the Vet Emergency Clinic being counseled on how the squirrel no doubt had rabies, and too bad we only had 10 days to live.

In my zeal to catch Bogey and prevent certain doom I realized I was between Squirrel and the door. Not a great place to be. Squirrel and Bogey raced past me again and then Squirrel catapulted himself high into the air and sailed (I could feel the breeze!) past my head and out the door. I grabbed Bogey before he could follow.

Anyone need a squirrel-hunting cat?

Once my heart-rate finally slowed down, I did an internet search on squirrels to find out if I should be concerned about our adventure. That's when I discovered some alarming news.

This is the time of year that squirrels mate.

No doubt Squirrel was scouting out a place to rendezvous with his lady friend. Romance is a wonderful thing, but there is no way my back porch is going to become Sin City for squirrel one-night stands.

I've always hated the smell of cigarette smoke.

A Squirrely Tale

When a critter interrupts a major sports event, you have to figure that somebody's going to talk about it. And in the case of the St. Louis Cardinals, you can amend that to a lot of people.

During one of the recent playoff games, both crowd and media were treated to the sight of a squirrel scampering across home plate. And with a Cardinal player in the batting box, too!

Seriously, what are the odds? I mean, you might see such a thing happen at a little league game in a public park, but at Busch Stadium? In front of thousands of people?

After the furry interruption (and a lot of laughter), the Cardinals went on to win the game. This swiftly hatched an idea. The rogue squirrel must have brought the team good luck. And in a whisk of the tail, the intruder was dubbed "The Rally Squirrel".

Without fur-ther delay, more items than a zookeeper can shake a stick at were printed and sold. T-shirts, towels, and other collectibles featuring the image of The Rally Squirrel are now extremely caliente. Vendors can barely keep them in stock. Bringing luck, making money, galvanizing fans...wouldn't you think that squirrel would be a hero?

But in spite of everything, I'm sorry to report that the management at Busch Stadium is not impressed with the new team mascot. They've trapped 4 squirrels so far and relocated them to an area described vaguely as "the country".  Guess they don't think the Cardinals need any more luck.

I've heard that squirrels have a great sense of direction. Can the Rally Squirrel return in time to save the day for the home team? I have my fingers crossed.

And if the Cardinals don't win the World Series, I know who I'm going to blame...

Content Warning!

Warning: For certain Critter Alley readers, this post contains what could be viewed as provocative content!!!

A few weeks ago, I attended a large gathering of friends for a day of chatting, eating, liberal use of favorite beverages, and music.  We were gifted with perfect weather and a soft breeze that carried the tantalizing scent of smokey barbecue.

Two canines made an appearance at the party. Several of us sneaked them succulent morsels of food along with plenty of petting. Alas, poor Indy had to stay home.  He wasn't happy about it.

(Canine comments censored by blog administrator)

In the midst of the day's revelry, a friend called me over to see a miniature party guest, who had been snuggling in a warm shirt pocket. Now...hold on to your collars...this is what I saw:

A baby squirrel!

How did my friend get him/her? Apparently when folks from the Forestry Department cut down trees, they sometimes find these tiny critters nesting inside. Rather than leaving them to die, foster families are called upon to bottle feed the babies and care for them until they're ready to be released back into the wild. We took turns holding this little one.  It seemed calm and completely unafraid.

Forestry workers must have a heart as big as the trees they cut. Kudos to them for taking the time to look out for babies...no matter the species.

You may wonder why I was so enthralled. I've had my share of problems with squirrels in the past. They gnaw holes in my house, gobble up all the bird seed, and annoy me in general, so you'd think this discovery wouldn't particularly move me. But as I held the baby and stroked it's soft fur, I quickly went all mushy inside. 

Seriously...who can resist a face like this?

Return of the Unwanted Tenants

Unhappy over eviction notice, vowing revenge

We have a new project. It's called the Great Squirrel Relocation. Some may remember a blog from last year where we were having trouble with an over abundant supply of squirrels. They enjoyed our yard so much that they chewed holes in our siding and created cozy nests in the eaves of the house.

They're baaaaaaaack!

So once again we are trapping squirrels. Despite how annoyed I am at them, I won't let hubby dispatch them permanently. Instead, he good-naturedly (sometimes) takes them for a long drive to a park where they are set free to make a home in the trees where they belong.

Indy and Bogey are overjoyed. All those times the squirrels laughed at them. Ha! Who's laughing now?

The Disagreement

"Look at that crumby squirrel. And he's on MY porch!"

"Yeah...and he's eating all the bird seed. I don't like anyone to eat seed but birds. You know how much I like to watch birds..."

"We better do something. Who knows what that pushy bugger will try next? Maybe he'll get Mom to make him into some sort of pet. You know, where she feeds him every day."

"No way! Why don't you tell Mom you need to go outside? Just play it cool. When she opens the door I'll sneak out behind you. We'll corner that creep and make sure he never comes back again."

"I don't know. I can't think straight. I'm getting kind of excited."

"No! Don't do it!"

"WOOF!! WOOF!! WOOF!!"

"Great. He waved at us. And it looks like he's laughing, too."

"Sometimes a dog's just gotta do what he's gotta do."

"Oh shut up."

A Squirrelly Story

I used to enjoy seeing squirrels in the yard. They're cute, they're entertaining, and, as I recently discovered, they're destructive.
Apparently our squirrels feel that the eaves of our house are far superior to trees as a place to call home sweet home. Two squirrel size holes have been chewed in our soffit siding, providing the perfect front and back doors for their cozy new abode. Now I certainly don't mind sharing with wildlife, but this situation creates a bit too much togetherness for me.

I launched a search to find solutions. It appeared that our best plan of action was to trap and relocate the offenders. So we put out a live trap, baited it with bird seed, and...success! A fat, albeit highly annoyed squirrel had become our captive guest. Per my hubby, the wildlife expert, our squirrel had to go far, far away or he'd easily find his way back home...sort of like a rodent version of Lassie. So we loaded our squirrel into the truck and chauffered him to a heavily wooded park across the river and miles away. As soon as the trap door opened, he flew to the trees and disappeared from sight. And unless he's a powerful swimmer, he won't be back.

Meanwhile, many of his relatives remain. Not one of them has yet tripped the trap. In fact, I saw them scurry merrily in and out of it to enjoy their free feast with little concern and nary a quiver from the dratted device. For having such a tiny brain, guess they're smarter than I thought.

I'm looking at other options. Like putting the siding repair guy on permanent contract.