"Hello sports fans, and welcome to this inaugural match of the 2016 season."
"That's right, Bob. It's been 20 years since the coach of the Orkshire Rippers fielded a team and the Coach of the Reikland Reavers is new to the beautiful, brutal game."
"It's nice to see their teams in the new strips as well, isn't it?"
"Yes, Bob; until recently both teams were in grey."
"It looks like we're ready for kick off here; having won the toss, the Reavers are kicking toward the Rippers. And almost immediately there's carnage on the line of scrimmage as one of the Rippers' Linesmen makes a break down the wide zone!"
"That's a fantastic play, Bob and a well deserved touchdown. As we go into the next play the Reavers are receiving and - oh no! ITS A FUMBLE!"
"And there go the Rippers, breaking deep into the other half, they've picked up the ball and - surely they're not going to try and pass the ball wide to the Black Orc Blocker Ragnar Butterfingers out on the other wide zone?"
"That's a brave choice, Bob - the Rippers aren't known for their air game-- and yes, Ragnar Buttefingers has dropped the ball."
"The Reavers have scooped the ball up and - look at him go, Jim!"
"That is an impressive run, Bob. The Rippers have been caught badly out of position here. I don't think there's any way they can stop him - and indeed they can't. That's a touchdown bringing the score to one all."
"This is a nail biter of a game and no mistake, Jim. The Rippers dominated the early game and they've put a lot of the opposing players down - some particularly bone crunching moves from the Blitzers there, but the Reavers have come back big style."
"Too true, Bob. Luck certainly turned against the Rippers in this second half. And here go in the final run of the match. This is the last play, with only 8 minutes left on the clock, Bob. Can either team pull a last minute miracle out of the bag?"
"Not if they drop the ball like that, Jim. That's the Rippers done, and the Reavers can't quite get there and finish the run to the end zone. But they are doing their best to put as many Rippers on the ground as they can before the final whistle blows."
"Put them on the ground and, in the best tradition of the game, stamp on their nads, Bob."
"That's right, Jim. This is how the game is meant to be played. Good to see a new coach becoming one with the spirit of the game. And there's the final whistle. As the teams gather for their team portraits taken by the Official Illusionist from Spike! magazine, we can see that the Reavers have lost three men and the Rippers Coach appears to be making some point about his general luck."
It's easy to forget how good Blood Bowl is. Enjoyed that throughly and might have to treat myself to the new edition. More importantly, might be time to pull my old team out of storage and paint them. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as we did playing.