Siege Die

 It wasn't only the set-up that affected the way that the first run through went. I also indulged in a bit of false logic along the way. Like most wargames rules 'Vauban's Wars' use inches; like most people living in the twenty first century I use centimetres. The rules say that sappers can dig 6" of sap/trench per turn of the card; the saps which I made are 10 cm long. I decided that laying one length each time would be equivalent, because by adding the width of the zag to the length of the zig one came back to roughly the same thing. As I say, false logic.

The rules call for what they refer to as a 'Siege Die', a D6 with faces showing 0,1,1,2,2,3. They are used in mining and countermining (which I have excluded from my simple playtest) and when the garrison repairs the walls (which I got nowhere near in my first run through). Obviously, being a wargamer of many years standing, I have some of these dice to hand, so I intend to use them to address the above irritation. Sappers will roll the 'Siege Die' and build that many sections. You will note that the expected value is 1.5, thereby turning 10 cm into 6".

I think there is another possible benefit from this change. I found the facts that sappers would always build the same amount each time the Sapping card is revealed, and also that one is essentially guaranteed to be able to play all one's Sapping cards every turn, was not really to my taste. I prefer a bit more uncertainty in a game, and while the luck of the dice will average out in the long run (*), in the short run it will provide a bit of friction and give both the besieger and the garrison some hints as to where they might wish to direct their effort.

* Cue snorts of derision from many readers.

Pot53pouri

The hunt for za'atar is over. The bearded hipsters of Otley have transferred their attention to something else for long enough for Waitrose to be able to restock their shelves. It's time for some baked eggs, or perhaps some flatbread, or possibly both. That is obviously the highlight of the week, but there has been other news. I saw a goldcrest in the garden, and given that previous live fauna spotted there was a rat, it was rather wonderful.

I mentioned in the context of the 600th anniversary of Agincourt that I had taken a very interesting online course about it. I've watched a few more since on a variety of subjects and have always found them worthwhile, although the one on gravity was pretty heavy going. Anyway, there's another potentially relevant one starting next week called England in the Time of King Richard III, which among other things promises to look at the soldier's experience in battle during the Wars of the Roses. It can be found here.

I've struggled with my WWI reading, and not just because Osprey find printing on both sides of the page to be too challenging. I gave up - at least temporarily - on Wyndham Lewis because I didn't warm to him at all; he seems to be attempting to give pretentiousness a bad name, which is my job thank you very much. I turned with relief to the next in the 87th Precinct novels by Ed McBain only to find that was no bloody good either. I shall persevere with the series because I've enjoyed the others so much, but I hope they buck up soon. In the meantime I can feel some P. G. Wodehouse coming on; he won't disappoint.

And finally, I have been meaning to post this link about unbalanced dice ever since it appeared on the Piquet mailing list. It certainly explains a lot. As my old mucker Sophocles put it: "The dice of Zeus will always fall luckily."

Pot50pouri

A number of readers have been kind enough to post appreciative comments on the blog, for which I am very grateful. The reality is that I write entirely for my own benefit. Like many others I am prone to depression and find the creative element of blog writing to be a useful tool in managing my mental health. Hence the self-indulgence of choice of topic and varying degree of seriousness with which they are dealt. There are also periods when inspiration doesn't strike very often. Cyril Connolly famously said that the enemy of good art was the pram in the hall. Overlooking the fact that this isn't art of any quality I am, of course, too old for such concerns. Maybe in my case it is the love of a good woman that causes the problem. Or perhaps the occasional company of several bad women. There are only so many hours in the day.

Anyway, on with the post. There have been mixed reactions to my assertion that we live in a Stalinist society. There was some supporting evidence from Prufrock (see his comments on yesterday's post) and some raised eyebrows elsewhere. For those who are interested I have written more here.

And, in an unexpected return to the ostensible purpose of this blog, I have a couple of pieces of Command & Colours Napoleonics news. Expansion 5 has arrived in the UK and my order has therefore gone in. It won't be delivered very soon however because in keeping with my frugal nature I have only paid for second class delivery. What did arrive in this morning's post were the wooden C&C Napoleonic dice that I ordered before Christmas from Canada on eBay. It was as cheap to order three sets as two and they very kindly included three spares. I am now replete with the bloody things. I shall have to tweak the rules to require throwing handfuls of dice.

попурри 10

If there are two certainties about this blog they are that the readers don't like posts about politics and that I don't like Margaret Thatcher. The third of the two certainties is that it's my blog and I'll write what I want and if you don't like it you can sod off. Except of course for the Russian spambots who I would be very sorry to lose as readers and to whom I say "Да, пожалуйста, я хотел бы больше пенис".  Anyway, I have been to an exhibition of cartoons about Thatch which was interesting rather than enjoyable.One observation I would make is that even those cartoonists who might count themselves on her side didn't actually like her, and the others positively hated her.

Re-enactor action at the Royal Armouries has been very medieval during the school holidays, in support of the jousting tournament. This continued today with amongst others a minstrel chap wandering round in silly trousers playing a mandolin type thingy. However, even before the place opened it all seemed rather different when residents were awoken by brass instruments playing raucous, almost military music accompanied by much shouting. It turned out to be an Indian wedding procession making its way across the canal bridge on the way to the Mumtaz. This took a long time because it was apparently against the rules to go more than a metre or so before the men in the party launched into a new highly energetic dance. The climax, on the steps of the restaurant, was a frenzied solo performance by the groom who was whirling in a positively berserk fashion to great applause both from the wedding party itself and the large crowd of onlookers which had been attracted by all the excitement. The bride was, of course, nowhere to be seen. Presumably, wherever she was, she was hoping that the husband-to-be would have at least a little bit of energy left when it was all over.


Like all gamers I have an unhealthy interest in dice. For example there are the non-transitive dice, currently with James Roach who is, no doubt, just about to unveil the use both apposite and elegant use that he has worked out for them. So I am delighted to be able to refer to you these:

Full details are available here; well worth visiting for dice-heads.

 до свидания

Novara, the refight

Or, the blog makes a return to its real purpose, There was no discussion of politics last night, except perhaps one or two murmurings that I had been too kind to the evil old bat.

Baroness Thatcher after drinking the blood of small children

Anyway, what of the game. Firstly, and disappointingly, from the French side of the table the quirky, wacky, zany diagonal nature of the layout wasn't anything like as obvious. In fact one might as well have been playing across the table. Very dreary. I have no doubt that the Olicanalad blog will contain a write up with pictures etc so just a brief run through from my point of view. I've said it before, but in my view the sign of a good set of rules is that one can set up exactly the same game twice and have it play out completely differently. The whole Piquet family of rules meet that requirement for me. About the only thing that was the same last night was the group of Swiss skirmishers on the extreme right wheeling onto the flank of the Landsknecht pike block. Oh, and the fact that the French lost. It was a closer run than the previous week, partly because Peter Jackson once again threw some of the worst dice possible. Had we been playing standard Piquet there is the real possibility that he wouldn't have turned any cards at all. On the other hand I as the French opened with a sequence of cards and dice rolls that enabled my light cavalry to flank and then see off a unit of Gendarmes and a small pike block. This, it seems to me anyway, is unlikely to have happened in real life but was possible and, under the 'Hell Broke Loose' rules is unlikely to happen but is possible. Job done. So, big kudos to James and Peter for the rules, which I very much enjoy playing and probably still would even if I understood them.

Peter and James - respect is due

I have been studying the non-transitive dice and sadly can find no wargaming use for them. The problem is the very skewed number distribution on each colour; such as one of them having 5 fives and a blank for example. I have now passed them on to James to ponder over and am quietly confident that he will find some suitable, non-cheesy, role for them on the table-top.

A Feast Of Fiddles

My long day of celebratory perambulation, of extramural terpsichorean carousal, ended in the City Varieties; an arena to which ingress is impossible without succumbing to sesquipedalian loquaciousness.

A despicable human being and Jimmy Savile

Anyway, enough politics, and back to the City Varieties. The entertainment was Feast Of Fiddles who were both bizarre and wonderful. Basically consisting of a front line of six traditional folk violinists (including amongst others, if I have my facts straight, those from Steeleye Span, Fairport Convention and the Battlefield Band) and a melodeon player, they somewhat unexpectedly opened with a version of 'Pick Up The Pieces' the old Average White Band number. Their musical tour d'horizon then took in Mexico's bandit country, Parisian jazz and the world of supermarionation. The rock style rhythm section featured the mighty Dave Mattacks on drums and they also featured a sax player who had backed Graham Parker amongst others. The latter looked exactly as I have always imagined Magersfontein Lugg to look: essentially one should try to picture the love child of Jaws from the James Bond films and Lurch from the original Adams family TV series. Suffice it to say that the concert was excellent and, being suffused with a spirit of goodwill to all men, I even bought a CD.

The excellent Peter Knight

My non transitive dice have arrived. Now I just need to find a use for them.

Anything can happen Thursday

Well! So soon after last night's lop-sided lunacy we have another first: two blog postings on the same day. "Blimey O'Reilly" as Oscar Wilde would have said under the same circumstances. 

I have been to the Henry Moore Institute in Leeds to see the new Robert Filliou exhibition. It's centrepiece (not literally as it is actually off in a side room) is 'Eins.Un.One...', a work dating from 1984.

This consists - and I quote - 'of 16,000 wooden dice bearing the number one on all sides, negating the laws of probability'.

Now, any wargamer will tell you that rolling 16,000 consecutive ones is in fact not just plausible, but has actually happened to them during a game in which their brilliant strategy was otherwise going to guarantee victory.

So I, on behalf of you all, want to say to Filliou (again not literally as he has been dead for 25 years): "We recognise and share your pain."

Number Ninja

I've been to see Matt Parker, the stand-up mathematician, who was appearing as part of the University of Leeds Festival of Science. It was very entertaining although I won't pretend that I learned a lot. It always staggers me just how thoroughly useless most people are at understanding basic probability theory.

I'm only wearing this because my Ninja outfit is in the wash

I had forgotten about Graham's number, but as it's unimaginably large anyway I'm not sure what benefit it is now that I've been reminded. Still it's interesting to note that the lower bound of the range whose upper limit is Graham's number has moved from 6 to 13 since I first heard about it all those years ago; in two stages as well. Ramsey theory of course does have applications in wargaming, but then again I'm sure you knew that already.

The traditional chap with a beard

Saving the best, and most wargaming relevant, for last: non transitive Grime dice. I'd never heard of these before, but are they neat or what?

Now, I've no idea how one would use them, but I think I shall buy a couple of sets and see what can be done.