Random or Focused?

For quite some time I feel like I've been in a "slump". Typically, for the past few years more than ever, I draw a lot, sketching something almost every day. Usually multiple somethings. But maybe a month ago I slowed down and was immersed in RPG thought. I went a full week without touching a pencil.

The past few days or maybe since last weekend the trend has shifted. I'm drawing a lot more, starting to feel like my old self.

This is good. But it also means I need to address one of my biggest hangups: Lack of focus.

Namely... is lack of focus a problem or not? It feels like one, because I badly want to finish projects. But at the same time I'm happiest just doing something - anything - creative. So if I'm drawing my ass off all weekend and none of the drawings are "for a project", is that really a problem?

Something for me to ponder.

Here's some recent work.

Vaughn Bode or Weird Al?

Ye Olde Comique Booke Airte Struggle

In the early 90s I got my hands on Will Eisner's Comics and Sequential Art. I never read it. Not really. I flipped through it a lot, and took notes from some of the examples. I might have read a few pages. But reading dry texts like that was not my strong suit. I'm sure I missed a lot of valuable lessons from Will.

Which makes me think about comics as an art form and how that a lot of folks talk about it, ponder it, and theorize about it. I love that they do that, but it's not my bag. Just like with tabletop roleplaying games, I love making them and playing them but I am not sure I have much to say about the philosophical side of it or the theory side of it. Why does it work if I put three dots after a word to convey a pause or some unspoken thing? It just does. I'm sure there are good psychological reasons and I know it's rooted deeply in the actual material history of language and writing. But all I know is I put three dots when I want to suggest that sort of thing. It's all feels.

It's ALL FEELS.

And I might not even be good at it. I don't know. I know that people always enjoy my comics, but is it because they like how I draw or because they enjoy reading my stories? I don't really know. But I suspect, honestly, it's because they like how I draw. I know that's why I pick up books from Philippe Druillet, Vaughn Bodé, or Richard Corben. It is not for the stories. Those are fine, and sometimes good, but it's all about the visuals. I love the styles, the colors, the lines. I love the mark making. And how those marks come together to convey movement, meaning, narrative. Even when the story being told is, let's be honest, forgettable as hell. Or disgusting. Or ham fisted. If it looks cool to my eyes, I'm still gonna love that shit.

For example, I just read Druillet's Vuzz for the first time and holy motherfucker what a nakedly savage and nihilistic read. Vuzz is a psycho and a killer and a rapist. He JOYFULLY rapes and murders. Yet Druillet's exquisite lines and pacing and figures are so compelling you have to love the god damn book.

I kept all this shit in mind while working on Hellion Cross. This is the first full comic book I've created in a long time. I look at the finished pages and I ask myself "are these good enough?". Dangerous question to ask yourself. I could scrap them and start over and improve them, maybe. But why the fuck would you do that? I'm not a perfectionist. The next iteration would also have flaws and I would have exactly the same thoughts.

But I worry about stupid things. For example, I kept the 4 fingers style. In the original Pan-Gea comic, all the characters have 4 fingers like in old cartoons. So I thought... well, this is a successor to Pan-Gea, I might as well be consistent. And that's cool. I like it. But there's a devil on my shoulder going "Do you really wanna do that? Some guy will pick it up and say those hands look dumb."

But I can't help that. When I did the original Pan-Gea comics I had a few comments that the hands were weird or that the chicks were too fat. I can't be bothered with any of that. What am I trying to do here, make art for the masses? This is my shit, and folks who like my shit will like this comic. That's really all I can do.

Perhaps the story is lame, perhaps the hands are dumb. I don't know. It's not for me to say, is it? I make the art, the world judges it. That's just how it is.

End of the Year Message

Looks like 2024 is just about over. Every year we say the same things at this time, don't we? I can't believe the year is over. I can't believe it's almost [insert new year]. Etc.

I'm 54 years old. It's very strange when I think about it. I'm a grown ass man with a wife and two kids. I've been married since 1991. My kids are late teens. I've held down the same job for longer than I care to say. I'm incredibly stable. But inside my brain is a bit of a wandering storm, sort of like that monster on Jupiter that scares the shit out of me.

Eh, I won't get into that too much here. It's just me whining about what I've done with my life and what I haven't. But look... we do what we do and we can't change anything we've done. I'm happy with and proud of my life. My mom was proud of me, and that makes me feel great comfort. She often visits me in my dreams. Which is weird, but true.

For example, just the other night I dreamed I was in my front yard naked in the snow at night. I don't remember why. But I could feel my phone vibrating, even though I was naked. I looked around and saw the dim light under the snow. I dug it up and answered. I didn't read the screen because in dreams I can't read or maybe the text isn't legible. But it was my mom. She said, very clearly, "Are you ok?".

Then I woke up. And it was incredibly comforting. I don't believe in supernatural stuff or souls, but I take joy and comfort in memory. I can still remember my mom's face, her voice, the way she walked, everything. And I treasure it when she appears in my dreams.

This has been a mostly good year. Nothing crazy or exceptional, personally. I've been creative, I've been ok. Sure, the planet itself is in a bad way. We elected a fascist again. I don't know what the future looks like. But I'm hopeful. You have to cling to hope and stay positive. It's not to say things aren't bad... but giving up is just not on the menu for me.

Here's some art I did this year. I selected ten drawings I really like. I love you all and I hope you are doing well.

Artists I Like: Stardriver Art

This Sunday's artist is a mysterious Instagram figure known as Stardriver Art. I'm pretty sure this is a female artist, but I apologize if that's incorrect. I couldn't find a website outside of the Insta account.

So... Stardriver does epic 80s style, airbrush type fantasy art that would be more than comfortable on the side of your van any day of the week... and I love it. She seems to have a great love of 80s metal and metal in general, which I also love. The art is quirky and almost naive (as in self-taught, not meant to be a dis). I don't know if that's the case or not, but it has that vibe. To me, that's one of her great charms.

Seeing her art makes me want to buy a van and paint it. That's all I'm gonna say.

 

Artists I Like: Vaughn Bodé

Another great artist who has had a profound influence on me is Vaughn Bodé*. Many of you will be saying "Duh" right now.

I have went through a few different broad artistic phases in my life. One of them, perhaps the most profound, to be honest, was during my 30s (I turned 30 in 2000). It was not until around 2001 that I first got my dirty hands on any Vaughn Bodé books. His style and influence had already seeped into my work via other routes, most notably the 1977 Ralph Bakshi film Wizards. Now, the history of that movie is that Bodé and Bakshi were working together on it and Bakshi for damn sure took a shit load of Bodé's style and work directly into the film. But Vaughn died in 1975 and thus was unable to continue that work. There is a lot more to that whole story, including a lot of bad vibes between Bakshi and Vaughn's son Mark, but that's a story for another time.

The point is I didn't have direct experience with the artist's work until I was in my 30s and it was about that time that I hit a mini mid-life crisis of identity. And, consequently, my entire artistic approach was reborn. I found my voice. And the work of Vaughn Bodé was instrumental in making that happen.

Bodé was one of the names in the 60s/70s underground comix movement, though he wasn't part of the whole San Francisco scene. He was editor of the East Village Other for a time, which was an arty tabloid, a kind of underground answer to the Village Voice, I think.

He was prolific as absolute fuck. I mean seriously. The man died at age 34 and left behind countless comic book pages, stories, tons of book covers and interior illustrations, and inspired the modern grafiti movement. By age 34 I had barely found my own artistic voice.

What drew me into Bodé's work was the immediacy of his forms and lines, and the utter lack of filter. His comics, such as Deadbone Erotica and Cheech Wizard, had zero fucks to give when it came to being polite or decent. Tits, ass, and dicks were frequently drawn. Hell, just look at one of his little lizard guys... they all have a little dick bump. It's super fun. But also... satirical and scathing. Some of Bodé's pieces are so extreme they are very hard to look at today, not only bordering on "is this OK??" but crossing over into "I'm pretty sure this is not OK"**. But he was clearly trying to make a point, not just being an edge lord. From commentary against war and capitalism, to commentary against racism and sexism... he was saying a lot.

Vaughn described himself as bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, transvestite, transsexual, gay, hetero, and all of the above. He clearly did not want to be put into a box. 

*BTW, you can type "Bodé" with the accented "e" by using Alt+0233 on your standard keyboard. Maybe on a Mac it's like Macbutton+0233. I don't know Macs.

**For example, some of the Deadbone strips feature strongly racist caricatures of Asians. Also, many of the strips feature women being murdered and otherwise assaulted. Though, to be fair, it's still within that context of "making some kind of social commentary point". Sometimes I get it, other times I don't get it. But this is the complex and difficult relationship we have to have with complex and difficult material. It's not cut and dry. The creator is not a shining beacon of purity, he's a troubled, clouded, brilliant, beautiful human being whose work shocks, amazes, and fills one with wonder. And sometimes cringe.

Page from the original Cobalt 60. Drawn on typing paper, I believe.

Collab with Larry Todd.

Cheech being himself.

Saturday Morning Art Rumble 11

This is it, True Believers! The moment you've been waiting for! All of the tears and blood and sweat have lead up to this very moment.

Today I shall call a truce. No more fighting. The war is over. From now on, we just post old art... randomly. EXCITING!

For Gary Con

For Gaxland

Saturday Morning Art Rumble 9

Let's get ready to... well, y'know.

This is the DEATH GORE RING OF DEATH for my own art! Randomly selected drawings... which will take the prize??

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And it's a vicious rumble as nosering warrior gets blasted by giant robot who gets insulted by the wizard Max Dobo! But in the end, none can stand before the power of the giant robot, which was also the alternative cover to Mike Evans' Barbarians of the Ruined Earth. WINNER.