Bob, Bob, Bob. Are You Seriously That Stupid?

Sen. Bob Menendez was charged Friday with secretly aiding the authoritarian government of Egypt and trying to thwart the criminal prosecution of a friend in exchange for gold bars and cash, as prosecutors unsealed a corruption indictment that accuses him of using his foreign affairs influence for personal gain.

The indictment, the second in eight years against the powerful 69-year-old New Jersey Democrat, alleges an illegal commingling of Menendez’s professional obligations as chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to advance U.S. priorities and his private interest in cultivating relationships with wealthy businessmen.

The indictment also charges him, his wife and three New Jersey businessmen who authorities say showered the couple with money, gold and a luxury car in exchange for his actions on their behalf. A previous indictment of Menendez stemming from different allegations ended in 2017 with a deadlocked jury.
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Authorities found more than $100,00 worth of gold bars in Menendez’s home, and more than $480,000 in cash — much of it hidden in closets, clothing and a safe, prosecutors say. Photos included in the indictment show cash that was stuffed in envelopes found in jackets bearing Menendez’s name. Investigators discovered a Google search by Menendez for the value of a “kilo of gold,” and DNA of one men prosecutors say bribed him on an envelope filled with thousands of dollars in Menendez’s home, they said.

Maybe he needs nearly a half-million in cash on hand in case somebody had a few dozen S&W Registered Magnums to sell?

It is hard to escape concluding that Menendez thought he was bulletproof because he skated off on the last time he was charged with being a corrupt fuck. No doubt he'll rip a page out of the TOFF's playbook and scream that this is a witchhunt.

New Jersey Democrats are as Evil as Wisconsin Republicans

The NJ Democrats are seekng to gerrymander themselves into permanent power:

New Jersey Democrats' proposed constitutional amendment to solidify their party’s hold is prompting outraged objections among redistricting reformers who see the measure as a blatant power grab.

Legislators meeting in Trenton hold their first hearing Thursday on the proposed amendment, which would hand the state legislature new power to control the makeup of a bipartisan redistricting board that draws new boundaries every 10 years.

This is evil. Voters understand that this is evil. Which is why in state after stat, where referendums are permitted, voters have approved referendums to take the power to redistrict their states away from state legislators and given it to bipartisan commissions.

Gerrymandering is anti-democratic. It is done by weasels in suits protecting their political power.

It is fundamentally unfair. elections should be contests of ideas, of policies. They should not be the anointing of a younger sleazeball to replace a retiring sleazeball of the same party.

The good news is that the voters in NJ have to approve this. We'll see, next year, if they are wise to the shenanigans of their legislature.

Hate Loses in Hoboken

Hoboken elected its first Sikh mayor on Tuesday night, days after a flyer branded him as a “terrorist.”

Ravinder Bhalla, a councilman born and raised in New Jersey, defeated five other candidates to take the place of Mayor Dawn Zimmer, who announced she would step down after two terms.

Those who think that Sikhs are connected to terrorism have to be dumber than Donald Trump. Or his son, Eric.

The Hoboken cops are treating distributing the flyers as a possible bias crime. I tend to think that the First Amendment is going to have a say on that.

A Bigot Lost in VA

Virginia’s most socially conservative state lawmaker was ousted from office Tuesday by Danica Roem, a Democrat who will be one of the nation’s first openly transgender elected officials and who embodies much of what Del. Robert G. Marshall fought against in Richmond.

The race focused on traffic and other local issues in suburban Prince William County but also exposed the nation’s fault lines over gender identity. It pitted a 33-year-old former journalist who began her physical gender transition four years ago against a 13-term incumbent who called himself Virginia’s “chief homophobe” and earlier this year introduced a “bathroom bill” that died in committee.

Marshall ran the usual hate-based campaign that one might have expected of his political leanings.

He lost by nine points.

Also, Chris Chrities's lieutenant governor, Kim Guadagno, sought to step up into his job. She was shellacked. Whether the NJ voters were in an anti-Trump mood or Guadagno couldn't escape Christie's stench will be fodder for the local pundits.

Arresting Developments- Trump Ed.

Donald’s Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, was told to hand himself over federal authorities, as well as one of his former business associates, it was reported on Monday.

According to the New York Times, Manafort and Rick Gates, who was a junior business partner of Manafort’s, are the first people to face charges in the investigation run by special counsel Robert Mueller into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election, and the Trump campaign’s possible collusion in that effort.

Meanwhile, the World's Oldest Toddler was pitching a fit on Twitter. The sad thing is that, despite how many times that Chris Christie has been publicly humiliated by Trump, Secaucus Fats keeps carrying for Trump.

The Absolute Arrogance of Chris "Secaucus Fats" Christie

(Previously on the Secaucus Fats Files.)

One of the things Christie said in defending his helicoptering into a closed state park was: "Run for governor and you can have a residence there." The park itself originally had a bunch of houses on it, one of them was given to the state, and that's the one Fatso Chris used.

Thing is, there are other families who still have houses there. They were first told that the shutdown didn't apply to them, as they had a right to use their residences.

But then the cops came by, told them all to leave and if they didn't, they'd be arrested.

So first Christie first lied about not getting any sun, even though he was photographed with his fat ass parked on the sand, in a beach chair. Then he lied about the reason why he and his family could use the house was because it was their residence.

I think we all can be forgiven for supposing that the real reason those people were kicked out of their beach homes was so that Christie could indeed have the park all to himself.

At his core, Christie is an arrogant fat fuck, one whom even the vast majority of Jerseyites can't stand.

(H/T to someone who'd rather remain anonymous)

Shorter Chris Christie: "I'm Better Than You and Don't You Fucking Forget It!"

Secaucus Fats gets an entire state part to himself (and his family) because he's closed all the state parks.

Gov. Chris Christie joined his family at a state-owned retreat in Island Beach State Park on Saturday night, less than 24 hours after ordering the closure of all state parks and beaches because of the budget impasse in Trenton.

The governor addressed members of the Legislature about the stalemate on Saturday and then left the capital for the park, a spokesman confirmed Sunday morning. The governor later said he took a State Police helicopter to the park and back to Trenton again on Sunday, and said he plans to do the same Sunday evening.

And sez he, fuck you to the press. When you get right down to it, Christie's dickish move was downright Trumpian.

Anyway, if they only opened the park to people who support Christie, it probably would have been just as empty.

Paramus Porko's Peeps' Prison Parade

Two former aides to Gov. Chris Christie were sentenced to prison Wednesday for their role in a political revenge plot involving traffic jams at the country's busiest bridge, a scandal that sank the Republican's presidential aspirations.

Bridget Kelly, 44, was sentenced to 18 months and Bill Baroni, 45, was sentenced to two years after they were convicted for their roles in the 2013 George Washington Bridge lane-closing scandal.

I suspect that it's a pretty good bet that Christie knew what was happening when it was happening, but suspicion isn't proof. At least Christie had the good sense not to record himself at the time.

Bridgegate: Guilty!

A federal jury convicted two former allies of Gov. Chris Christie on Friday of all charges stemming from a bizarre scheme to close access lanes at the George Washington Bridge to punish a New Jersey mayor who declined to endorse the governor’s re-election.

A lot of people still wonder why Christie himself wasn't tried. The story contains the prosecutor's reasons, but whether or not you'll find them convincing is up to you.

What Chris Christie Has Wrought

UPDATE: Christie may be criminally charged over Bridgegate.

The near destruction of one of the premier mass-transit networks in the country. Cutting maintenance, slashing improvement funds, wringing every possible dime out of the budget with no thought as to future effects.

Christie, along with most of his party, despise mass-transit to begin with. That much is a given. In their view, the proles should be walking along dirt paths as the elite glide in on expensive toll roads.

There is also the Wall-Street Disease: A total focus on the short term, with zero planning for any period of time past the present quarter or the current budget cycle. That's why pensions are underfunded, roads are falling apart, and mass-transit systems are breaking down. Tools like Secaucus Fats care not that cutting a million here and there from maintenance budgets means that there will be more breakdowns, more emergent repairs and sooner replacements that will end up costing a few orders of magnitude more money than they have boasted that they saved.

Christie is leaving his state in far worse condition than it was when he took over. He has utterly failed the Boy Scout Test. No wonder he wants to bail to be a lackey in a Trump administration.

We'll See If This Sticks to Christie

Gov. Chris Christie was told of the George Washington Bridge lane closures as they were occurring in 2013, a federal prosecutor told jurors on Monday in U.S. District Court.

David Wildstein, who has already pleaded guilty to playing a role in the incident, and Bill Baroni, who is now on trial for his alleged role in the scheme, “bragged” about the traffic gridlock that lane closures were causing when they spoke with the Republican governor at a Sept. 11 memorial in Lower Manhattan, Assistant U.S. Attorney Vikas Khanna said.

Doesn't mean, of course, that any of that is true. Opening statements can be a good roadmap of what that side's case is. They can also be bullshit that doesn't hold up in trial.

We shall see. Be interesting if Baroni pleads out in the middle of trial, without admitting anything.

Well, Somebody has to be the Ambassador to Chad

“I think if Trump wins, Trump will find something for [Christie],” Mr. Murray said. “He’ll take anything, as is kind of obvious.”

Besides picking up The Donald's fast-food orders, I really think that Christie would have whacked somebody if Trump told him to.

Almost everybody hates Christie now in Jersey. Maybe if he sucks up hard enough to Roger Ailes, he can climb aboard the Wingnut Welfare Gravy Train.

Flippidy-Flopping on Guns; GOP Ed.

Chris Christie on Wednesday conceded that he changed his mind on guns.

Fox News host Sean Hannity pressed the New Jersey governor on his gun stance, noting that he supported an assault weapons ban in 1995, called GOP opponents who wanted to repeal it “dangerous,” “crazy” and “radical,” and ran against opposition to concealed carry laws in 2009.

Funny how they all seem to do that when they are pandering seeking votes.

Remember Rudy Giuliani or Romney flip-flopping on gun control? Those guys want the job and they, like every othrr candidate (other than maybe Bernie Sanders) will say or do anything to get it.

Be Careful Where You Go With Your Heater

Or you could wind up like this woman, who crossed from Pennsylvania into New Jersey with her gun.

Not that her car might not have been stripped by the cops, for having a permit in another state is cause enough in the eyes of  some cops.

Concealed carry, because it's regulated by the states, is a minefield for traveling. You may have reciprocity in one place, but not another. One state will require you to inform the cops if you're stopped that you're packing, other states don't. In some places, even if there's not reciprocity, one can get a permit for the adjoining state. But the residents of that state might not be able to.

I know that there are people who would like the Federal government to step in and mandate reciprocity. I disagree with that, for if they can do that, there is nothing to stop them from going the other way. And there is nothing more that Nanny McBloomberg would like to see happen.

As for Ms. Allen, she's likely pretty well screwed. Because while her only hope may be that Secaucus Fats does her a solid and pardons her, but since she both likely doesn't have the wherewithal to make large campaign contributions and she's in a minority group that would rather roll on broken glass than vote GOP, good luck with that ever happening.

(H/T to Weird & Pissed Off)

The Whitewash Daily News

Christie's own investigation of the Bridgegate scandal found that Christie did nothing wrong.

The FBI's internal investigation of the killing of Ibragim Todashev found that the unnammed FBI agent who killed him did nothing wrong.

Right. I bet both investigations were something like this exchange from Casablanca:

Captain Renault: By the way, last night you evinced an interest in Señor Ugarte.
Victor Laszlo: Yes.
Captain Renault: I believe you have a message for him?
Victor Laszlo: Nothing important, but may I speak to him now?
Major Heinrich Strasser: You would find the conversation a trifle one-sided. Señor Ugarte is dead.
Ilsa: Oh.
Captain Renault: I am making out the report now. We haven't quite decided yet whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape.

Nothing to see here, fellow proles. Move along. Move along.

The Stink of Desperation on Christie

I finally got around to reading the attack email that was sent out by Chris Christie (or his people) and parts of it are breathtaking for hypocrisy and over-reaching.

Christie had to go back to high school to come up with things to smear Wildstein with? Seriously? He had to reach back 35 years for dirt?

And slamming Wildstein for being an anonymous blogger-- here is my prediction: It will come out that Christie not only knew of Wildstein's blogging, but he fed stories to Wildstein.

Political Blood in the Water

Chris Christie is bleeding into the water and the sharks news for him keeps getting worse.

A lot of stuff is coming out, now. And there is some irony in that Christie's political fortunes are now being brought down because of campaign dirty tricks pulled in an election that he had no chance of losing.

The Law of the Savannah as Applied to Chris Christie

Once you get a hitch in your git-along, everyone comes looking to feast on you.

Two senior members of Gov. Chris Christie’s administration warned a New Jersey mayor earlier this year that her town would be starved of hurricane relief money unless she approved a lucrative redevelopment plan favored by the governor, according to the mayor and emails and personal notes she shared with msnbc.

As Booman points out, the current mayor of Hoboken became the mayor because a certain U.S. Attorney (Christie) prosecuted the former mayor for shenanigans related to real estate development.

Ol' Flip-Flop may like Christie, but his peeps with cash don't.

When It Rains, It Pours; Christie Edition

The news just keeps getting worse for him.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is facing questions over the use of Superstorm Sandy relief funds.

CNN has learned that federal officials are investigating whether Christie improperly used those relief funds to produce tourism ads that starred him and his family. ... The winning $4.7 million bid featured Christie and his family in the advertisements while the losing $2.5 million proposal did not feature the Christies.

When you take Federal money for things like that, there are rules about using the lowest bidder (a point famously made by Alan Shepard after his flight in Freedom 7). Selecting the bidder who bid nearly twice as much without a damned good reason is a major no-no in the Federal contracting world.

Christie's Presser

The Daily Show's take on the Christie Presser yesterday,* which, as Jon Stewart points out, wasn't his usual behavior.

The investigations are just gathering steam. But it should be pretty clear to even the most casual observer of Christie's time as governor that what happened at Fort Lee was clearly within the tone that he set. Christie has a well-deserved reputation for being a thin-skinned bully who will go after anyone for even the tiniest of political offenses.

This particular story has been building for months. Last month, Christie made jokes that he personally was moving the traffic cones in Fort Lee. It's not at all credible that Christie waited until two days ago to start asking people if any of them had been involved.
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* Richard Nixon's birthday.

n.b.: I've stopped embedding the Daily Show's videos. They either self-launch, which is annoying as fuck, or they don't work at all. So you'll have to click on the link.