The continuing saga

My Braves haven't been playing so well recently. I had to turn the game off in the seventh inning last night because it got too pathetic. It's the top of the first inning and their opponents (Cincinnati Reds tonight) just scored two runs. I know my boys can do better than this. But enough about baseball.

I had some COFFEE this Afternoon!! With CAFFEINE! WEEEEEEEEE!!!

Twitch has been transferred to the store in Simpsonville (Arby's). It's an hour away. He has no car, no drivers license. He's got the learners permit, and has been driving Superman's truck with me in the shotgun position. I actually enjoy the drive, or have come to feel that way about it this week. I like it better when I drive. He's not too bad at driving, but he's new and nervous, and I like being behind the wheel when I'm in the car, you know? Today we took my truck, which is a piece of shit with a manual transmission which Twitch doesn't know how to drive. I like my truck better. The thing is, it takes an hour one way to get to Simpsonville and uses a bunch of gas. I drive back home, only to go back to get him six to eight hours later. That's a LOT of gas. Which costs a lot of money. He's helping with the expense, but not as much as all of it. I'm trying to get him to save so he can secure housing in that area. I've spent four hours on the road every day this week. I have mixed feelings about this.

The poor guy (Twitch) had to work ten hours today. I got there an hour before he got off, not realizing he would work that late. It all worked out well, though, because I'm easy that way. I needed some new shoes anyway and hadn't yet found a chance to shop. There's a shoe store half a mile up the road from Twitch's shop, so I wandered up there and had my favorite kind of shoe shopping experience. This is a representation of what I bought.

(One beer down) I asked the nice sales associate lady for those old fashion ugly Crocs. She said they only had that style in mens, which is fine by me. She showed me what they had, three different colors/styles. The camo print was an easy elimination. The other shoe was brown with a leather (or leather look) patch on the top of the upper. It was $15 more than the black ones. Though they had the brown in a size 7 (my size in mens shoes) and the smallest size black was an 8. I tried them both on, and went with the 8. Crocs are supposed to be kinda loose anyway, right? And it has that strap thing on the back that helps keep the shoe on. So it's all good. I told the friendly sales lady that ugly and old fashioned was kinda my style. You know, I'm so fashion backward. So I got a pair of shoes I like for less than $35 and took less than ten minutes to complete the entire shoe shopping experience. Yeah, that's how I like to shop. I feel good! (The caffeine and beer help. 'Bout to start on my second beer, so watch out!) 

After the wonderful shoe shopping experience I stopped by Starbucks. I don't think I've been inside a Starbucks in at least two years. I got myself a short "tall" black coffee, then went back to the Arby's where I bought the last chocolate turnover. Man, those Arby's folks have the best turnovers, and the chocolate is extraordinary. Been wanting one of those for a while now. 

Oh, and in other news, the weight loss thing isn't going so well. For example, there's an IHOP beside the Arby's. Twitch has had to be at work at 8:00 every morning this week, but Arby's isn't open for breakfast. Leaving home before 7:00 hasn't given me the opportunity to eat before leaving. So twice this week I had the Bananas Foster Brioche French Toast at IHOP. Oh boy.

I mean look at that. Who could resist? Who knew warm bananas could taste so good? 

I recommend them if you aren't trying to control your BMI. So good! I got myself a bowl of cereal before leaving this morning, so was able to forego the cost and calories of that particular temptation today. Then I had a chocolate turnover this afternoon. In my defense (which isn't a good defense, by the way) I had a V-8 for lunch. *sigh*

Half way through the second beer. Feelin' good! I haven't been drinking much recently, like less than a beer a day. Maybe two or three beers a week. So two beers has a bigger impact. Oh, further along on that beer than I thought: just finished it. Weeee! And now I don't even care that the Braves are playing like shit. My tongue is going numb. Nice buzz.

Superman is on his way home from work. Yes, it's 8:40 on a Friday night. He's been working a lot of long hours recently. The plant just had a power surge and he lost the PowerPoint he'd been working on for over an hour, so he's chucking the whole thing and coming home. I suspect he'll have to spend a couple (or more) hours at work tomorrow.

What else? I suppose I could update the Sproing drama. Yesterday was hell. Did I mention in my last post that he'd been before the judge on the ... wait a minute. Let me check the last post and see if you are up to date with his latest criminal activity. (insert Jeopardy "wait" music)  Nope. That last post was written before his latest criminal activity. Last weekend he stole Superman's debit card, took it to Wal-Mart and spent approximately $150. When this breach of trust was discovered, we called the police. Because DAMN! We live in the city, Wal-Mart is in the county outside city limits. So to make life more difficult (because damn) the offense has been divided between city police and county sheriff's departments. The theft of the card is a police matter, the use of it is sheriff's domain. He's had his arraignment with the city. We're waiting on the sheriff's warrant, when we'll have to see a different judge because fuck my life. The municipal judge considered putting Sproing in jail, but released him on a personal recognizance bond of $5000, with restrictions. The judge, bless his heart, wrote his direct phone number on our copy of the paperwork.  If the boy gives me any grief I can call the judge and he'll revoke Sproing's bond, sending him to jail until his June 5th court date.

Well, yesterday Sproing was being an ass, at which he has a special gift. I asked him to fold and put away the load of towels in the dryer. Oh. My. God. You'd have thought I asked him to donate a kidney. After the judge had a serious talk with him about doing the right thing and respecting his Mama. And it got worse from there. I finally told him that I was done, and would call the judge tomorrow. (Which was today, for the record) He kinda freaked. (What the fuck. What does he expect?) Then he (Sproing) asked to talk to the sheriff's detective who questioned him about the charge, a guy who used to be the resource officer at the high school. Evidently Sproing feels comfortable with the man. So I called the sheriff's department (at 9:00 in the evening) and asked for the detective to call me. Which he did. I'm impressed. He talked to Sproing, calmed him down. After the conversation Sproing was way more copacetic. He apologized and everything. So I had pity on him and didn't call the judge today. So far today he's been calm, but I've hardly interacted with him at all. He got home from school right before I left to pick up Twitch. When I got back I went to the beer and baseball, and Sproing is doing his thing away from my presence. So far so good. Tomorrow is Saturday and we'll probably have more opportunity to interact. Oh please oh please oh please let it be peaceful!

Sproing got the warrant from the city, which is what sent us to the municipal judge. He hasn't yet gotten the warrant from the county, though. Once he does, we'll have to go to another judge to repeat the process. I don't know how that'll work out.

Oh, and of course all this shit violates his probation with Juvenile Justice. I talked to his probation officer. She said she'd wait to see what the city and county do with him before taking any action. She thinks it'll work itself out without her having to interfere. You see, since he's 17 years old now, he's treated as an adult when he fucks up like this. DJJ is a secondary concern. Damn, I hate this. Sproing can be such a nifty guy. But he can also be a pain in the ass. As you have probably realized by now.

HA!! Braves won!! Finally. Maybe this portends good fortune for this weekend. In my life, not just for the Atlanta Braves. That'd be nice.

Today I've been in a good mood. Last night I felt like wringing Sproing's neck. Today I spent pretty much all day without Sproing, and got to drive my truck, which always makes me happy. I had a lovely almost three hour nap this morning when I got back from Simpsonville, finished my sappy gay romance novel, had a good shoe shopping experience, drank CAFFEINATED COFFee and ate chocolate yummies. And now the Braves have just won their game (yay, about damn time boys) and I've now had three beers. The buzz is strong in this one. Time to end this post, take a shower (because I'm kinda ripe) and kiss all over my husband who has finally gotten home from work. If there was anything else I meant to say in this post, well, it won't happen.

Until next time

Powdermilk Biscuits give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.

My new medicine, Abilify, is Powdermilk Biscuits in a little blue pill.

Do you know about Powdermilk Biscuits? Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keillor, etc. This video is kinda long but the Powdermilk Biscuit slogan is in the first minute. The whole thing is quite good, and I recommend watching it.


I have been so productive recently, much more so than I've been in, I dunno, the last year! I have sewn three shirts, carved a crochet hook out of a 0.75 inch dowel, am in the process of finishing a shelf that I designed and Superman built. I've been busy with said crochet hook. Oh, and I am nearly finished with a needlepoint project I started over 30 years ago.

I have pictures!

 This is the crochet hook and the rag yarn I made from an old sheet. That's another thing I've kept busy with, making rag yarn. I have almost a dozen balls, some of which I've crocheted into a long thing that hopes to be a hammock eventually.

Here are a couple of detail shots of the crochet hook that I made all by myself. As if you can't tell, I'm kinda proud of this thing. Also, detail shots of my cheap kitchen table, but you can ignore that if you want.  

And here are three shirts, two of which I've made recently. The one on the left I made in February or March for this year's bloggerpalooza. I wore it Saturday night. The middle shirt is the piratey shirt I wrote about in the last post. See, Slugmama, it isn't as obnoxious as the Jerry Seinfeld puffy shirt.

The green shirt has frogs on it. It's a batik print with a couple of different froggy things on it. I like it. I have also just finished a shirt that's blue with silhouettes of dinosaurs made of maps on it. Twitch calls it the VelociMaptor shirt. I finished it about an hour ago, and it's in the washing machine now.

I started to repair a pair of shorts after I finished the shirt and my sewing machine broke!!! Dude, I'm using that thing! I'm so glad it waited to break until I finished the shirt, especially the last task for the shirt was putting in button holes. Those are a bitch to do by hand. I know this from experience. The machine is stuck in reverse. There's something wrong with the feed dogs. I'll take it to the shop tomorrow.

And speaking of stuck in reverse and in the shop, Manny.

Manny, my beloved truck, has some clutch problems. No, he's not stuck in reverse, but I had to wrestle the transmission into gear to get it to the shop. I backed up a steep hill to get out of a driveway and the thing went  (pick one), gave off a funky smell, and would barely shift. My buddy Ron the mechanic called yesterday with a preliminary estimate. He's got to fix the first thing that's wrong with it (a bracket under the dash that holds the clutch and brake pedals) before he can even tell if the clutch is bad. That first fix will cost probably at least $400. I told Light yesterday that as old as he's getting (he'll be 25 when the new year models come out later this year) he's going to increase in value from here on out. She said the only thing that will increase his value is an engine fire. I beg to differ!! Then she admitted that yes, Manny is a balm to my weary soul. Her words. Ain't she sweet. 

Today is Thursday. The kids are in school today, tomorrow, and Monday, then half a day Tuesday and Wednesday. Diva only goes half a day now anyway. Yesterday I was sewing along, having a wonderful time, then she got home and the climate in the house took a downturn. It got worse later in the day, too. She's such a bitch. Sproing is behaving much better these days. I can tell he's trying really hard, and it's working! He earned his drivers license recently and in order to drive his dad's truck he has to be very nice, cooperative, respectful, etc. For the most part he's done so. He got to drive the truck to school today, and since Manny is in the shop, I am stuck at home. This doesn't bother me. Except with my Powdermilk Biscuit medicine I am more interested in going out and doing things. Also, we're out of beer and I need to make a beer run. This paragraph has gotten away from me in a drastic way. 

The kids. Will be home all the fucking time after next Wednesday. We are not thrilled about this. Sproing has been applying for jobs, had a couple of interviews recently. Maybe he'll get a job and be at work some of the time. Diva thinks she's going to live in Abbeville with Morq during the week and answer the phones at the auto repair shop where her boyfriend works. NOT. Not after she stayed for two extra days and missed school on Monday two weekends ago. We haven't told her yet. She's gonna bust a gusset. 

We had our first meeting with her probation officer yesterday. Diva was surly and rude, no surprise. She told the officer that she's contacted a lawyer about emancipating from the family, and the officer informed her that she cannot legally emancipate while she's on probation. I refrained from laughing out loud, but I was laughing in my heart believe me. And I laughed when I told Superman about it later. Diva has the opportunity to get off probation early, before her December birthday even, if she obeys her probation requirements each month. She gets a 10 day credit against the term of probation for each month she stays out of trouble. She didn't earn credit the first month. I'll remind her about the opportunity for credit at every chance. HOPEFULLY she'll try to stay on track until she's free of probation. 

I got the application from the fabric store and filled it out. I turned it in on Monday. Haven't heard anything from them yet, but the manager told me they aren't hiring, just accepting applications. Whatever. I'll hang tight for now. 

Random shit

I've decided to be Pete. I decided that on the way to the jailhouse to see Sproing this morning. I thought about lots of things on the drive (1.5 hours) to see Sproing. It was a lovely morning. So, this Pete thing: Pete, but not instead of Java. Still Java, but Pete if/when I'm a guy. My parents were going to name me Robert because Robert Burns' birthday was my due date. (Different year) I was born a couple of days earlier, and son of a gun, I was a daughter. That saved me from the fate of Robert. Not that there's anything wrong with Robert. I've known some very nice Roberts. I don't like the name for me, though.

Signs of aging:

• I mostly drink decaf coffee because too much caffeine does odd things to my nerves and my heart.
• My nose hairs are turning gray. 
• I can make dot-to-dot pictures with the age spots on my arms and back of my hands. 

I practiced my southern accent in the truck on the way to the jailhouse. It's a random sort of accent, not associated with any one particular location. I think. I learned a few East Tennessee-isms from my father-in-law. "Lord, help!" for example. I don't know how to spell it so reads like it sounds, but the whole thing is said with exasperation. The kiddie jail is in Union, SC. That'd be "yooon-yun" with an extra long yoooo and a flat u in -yun. 

Superman is away for the weekend. I was away for a week,and I'm back now. Hi, y'all! Had a great time at the Bloggerpalooza. Superman went to his folks' place to celebrate his aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. That'll happen Sunday afternoon, as those things do in The South(TM). He'll come home Monday. Then Sproing comes home from jail on Tuesday. Yeah, we thought he'd be in custody for 60 days, but the DJJ office in our county messed up his paperwork. I'm mostly glad he gets to come home. He probably doesn't need to be there. Diva, on the other hand, should be in DJJ custody. Or someone else's custody besides mine. Someone responsible, not her "grown" 18 year old friend. I don't want to talk about it. 

When I don't post for a while, that probably means I'm depressed. That's why I didn't post earlier in the week. I had a great trip, lots of fun driving and seeing people I like. I was happy. Then I had to come home, and damn, y'all, my home life is shit, Superman excepted. Today I took another drive. To the jailhouse, sure, but on the way home I took a detour. I wanted to see where this highway intersects a highway coming back toward Greenwood. I saw some lovely things and some depressing things. There sure are a lot of trailer houses in rural South Carolina. And a lot of them are really ugly. 

I'm coming down with some kind of lung crud. Haven't had bronchitis in a long time, but that's probably what this is. It's in the annoying stage now, when I have a slight cough, my chest feels heavy, and my throat is a bit rough. However, my throat could feel rough because of all the drive-singing I did recently. Including today. I belted out loud songs to which I know not the lyrics. Things can get funny that way. 

Tuesday March 25th is the first anniversary of my Daddy's death. I'm OK, I think. Death happens, he was sick (sicker than we thought he was), he didn't linger and wasn't in too much pain for very long. I miss him. I feel bad for my step-mom who is alone now. We'll see what the 25th brings. That's the day we have to drive back to Union to get Sproing. Yeah, we have to pick him up; no delivery like he had last time. So I'll be busy, which is probably good. Don't know yet if Superman will be available to go with me to get the boy. 

I bemoan my traitorous heart. I have a crush* on another guy. It's not a big or painful crush; easy to ignore. But I dreamed about him last night. And Superman is away, not here to distract me. This guy is totally inappropriate for me. I mean, absolutely. For one thing, he's younger (by a year or two) than Twitch. He is an adult, but not "grown" in the way Diva thinks anyone who turns 18 is automatically mature and responsible. Actually this guy is pretty irresponsible. He shows addictive tendencies. Spent six months in jail last year on drug charges. But oh, my, is he cute!! He's beautiful. Tall, thin but not too thin, brown hair, sweet smile, and friendly to talk to. I really don't know him very well. He might be a total ass. But he's lovely to look at. 

I was going to talk about the weather not doing what "they" predicted, but I see that it is now sunny just like the forecast said. It was overcast at midday. Now at 5-ish the sun is back out. I like the sun, as long as it's effects are mitigated by cooler temperatures. Yeah, I'm picky. 

*"Crush" might be too strong a word, actually. Visual appreciation might serve better. 

Saturday stuff

I got a couple of questions from my previous post about how the kids behaved while I was on my trip. According to Superman, they did pretty well. Figures. I leave, they straighten up. He isn't as strict as I am, so they don't fight against him as hard as they do against me, I think. And since I have been home they've done pretty well, all things considered. We haven't had any law enforcement officers involved in our business, at least.

I'll tell you a story about Sproing, though. Last week I took him to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to take the test for his learner's permit. He took it, passed, and got his permit. All is well. He and his dad went driving a couple of times that day and the next. He was driving at 10:30 last Saturday night to pick up his sister from the skating rink, and got pulled over by a highway patrolman. He had been weaving in his lane, and the officer said he didn't come to a full stop at a stop sign. Superman says the stop sign thing was bogus, but Sproing was indeed weaving a bit. He's not used to sitting in the driver's seat, and it's a different perspective on the edge of the road. He was getting too close to the road's edge, and Superman reminded him to move toward the left a couple of times. The officer came up to the truck and looked at Sproing and his permit. Sproing is kinda small for his age. When he saw that Sproing had the learner's permit, he asked if Sproing was just learning to drive. Of course Sproing answered in the affirmative. The officer said "you have a lot to learn," gave the kid his permit back, and wrote out a warning ticket. All in all it was a good experience/lesson.

However, on Sunday of last week Sproing was acting all crazy. He was angry, arguing with us and throwing things around. He threw his learner's permit at me and stormed out of the room, only to come back a little while later to retrieve the card. Then he got a pair of scissors and cut his permit in half. WTF? Then, of course, threw those at me. So I have them, tucked away in a drawer. He isn't getting another chance, not for a long time.

Sproing discussed the incident a little bit on Monday. He said he wasn't going to be driving anymore, not any time soon. I agreed. He isn't quite mature enough to drive, obviously. One of the things he said when arguing with us on Saturday was that Dad kept commenting on his driving while they were out. Well, duh! No, he says, I don't comment on your driving when I am in the car with you! Which is a lie. He comments on our driving all the time. But he just can't accept constructive criticism, suggestions, or correction in anything that he does. Seriously. This is going to continue to be a problem throughout his life if he doesn't figure this out. And he cuts us off cold when we try to discuss it. Oh well.

Since the kids were pretty chill while I was away, I've tried not to get into their shit since I got home. I don't necessarily agree with this approach, but it's better for my blood pressure if I let it be. I dunno. Things are so far gone with these kids that it's probably too late to try the strict approach. Right now I'm just trying to not rock the boat.

The state agency that supervises Diva's social services is trying to drop her as a client. We had a meeting the day after I got home from points north. Did I tell you about that? Yeah, the ladies in charge said that she barely qualifies for services any more. We've put her case on hold for three months, after which we'll have another meeting. The thing with Diva, she can hold it together really well for a while, then some damn something will tip her over the edge. So yeah, right now she's great. I hope it stays this way.

The scab on the bite on my arm came off yesterday, two weeks after the bitch bit me. The wound isn't completely healed, though. I put a bandage on it after the scab came off, but have just removed it. There's going to be another scab forming, but it'll be a much smaller, thinner one. The scab on my finger is still there, though it is smaller now. That was quite a deep bite on the finger there. And the finger is still a bit sore to the touch.

My new DVD player came in yesterday's mail. We bought a cheap nasty one for the living room a while ago, but it broke, so we donated the one in our room to that cause and I began looking for a replacement. That was more challenging than I predicted. So I ended up ordering one from Amazon. It came yesterday. This afternoon Superman and I watched two chick flicks. He's a good sport. We watched "The Backup Plan" which neither of us had seen. It's cute, but quite simple. JLo, you know. The male lead is a fella named Alex O'Loughlin who I've never seen before. He's cute! After that movie was over I was in the mood to watch more sexy male romantic leads, so we watched my current go-to chick flick, "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. >swoon< Ryan Reynolds is so drool-worthy! So Superman watched Sandra Bullock while I watched Ryan Reynolds, and we both enjoyed Betty White, because hey, what's not to enjoy?

Not a lot of deep philosophy in today's entry, huh? Eh, it's too hot to think too hard. I'm inside enjoying the air conditioning. We got a new A/C last spring, and it works so beautifully! So here I sit, rotting my brain and cooling my heels.

I'm back

Betcha didn't notice I was gone, huh?

I ran away for a few days, got some mountain therapy. I went camping all by myself not too far from the Blue Ridge Parkway. On my way home yesterday I drove a couple of hours on the BRP. And by "on my way" I mean more than 100 miles out of my way. But that's my way.

I have pictures. Yes, I got a new camera. I'd take a picture of it, but it can't take its own picture, right? Ah, never mind. Look it up. It is a Canon little blue thing. Canon with some letters and numbers after it. A quick and dirty point-and-shoot because that's my way. I'd post the pictures now, except I haven't downloaded them yet and I can't reach the camera from where I'm sitting. I'm also somewhat cat stuck, so of course I can't get up.

Can you tell I am lazy today?

I had to get away from the little troll monsters. I was just about over the edge. I had a fine time and felt much better while I was there. The damnedest thing, though, is that I came back and here it was, waiting for me. Sproing was here when I got home, and he was a total asshole to me. Diva was at the skating ring (as she calls it) and I was in bed when she got home, so I didn't see her until this morning. She's acting all nice and friendly, which just pisses me off. There's something about her that creeps me out. She can be nice, but she's so often cruel to me that the nice seems like the worst kind of hypocrisy and/or cover-up.

I'm home and irritable. Except Superman, everyone else in this house irritates me. As Superman says, "I want them all gone."

Did I tell you that C lost his job? He has worked at the donut shop for nearly two years, off and on. The owner's daughter works there, too, of course, and (or but) she has a bit of a drug problem. She evidently has been skimming from the till. She has even admitted it before. Well, two weeks ago there was some money missing and the owner blamed C for it and fired him. He says, of course, that he didn't take it, and he probably didn't. (Once you're lied to so many times, it's very difficult to believe anyone. C doesn't lie to me, I think, but so many other young people do that I have a hard time believing anyone any more.) But the owner fired him nevertheless. So right now none of the young adults in this household are working. Actually, Superman is the only one with a job. It's a bad position to be in. We've given the guys (including Twitch) some significant home improvement and landscape jobs to do in lieu of rent payment this month, but so far none of them has even started. I am pissed.

I need to stop talking about this right now, I'm getting too worked up. I'm trying to remain chill. Hard to do around here.

I was away from home for three days. I left Tuesday afternoon (if I recall) and got home late yesterday afternoon. Whilst I was away Superman had to leave work for at least 1.5 hours each day to take care of Sproing or Diva's needs. Diva had a doctor's appointment, Sproing had to be picked up from school. (Did I mention he's going to the "alternative" school now? No transportation except us unless we can show need.) Yesterday Sproing was complaining of back pain and couldn't sit in his desk without pain. So he says. Superman had to pick him up early, then didn't get away from the house for over an hour.

Superman was commenting about how  much of his time they needed during the day, and I said yeah, that's one of the main reasons I don't have a job. I feel a bit guilty, or bad, about not bringing in any income, but I know how much running around I do during the weekday taking care of these kids' needs. I need him to validate my significance for that sometimes. He told me he appreciates all that I do so that he can stay at work. I feel better now. (maybe a little bit, anyway)

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I have a problem with Mother's Day from a mother's perspective. I'm fine from a daughter's perspective. I'll call my Mama either tonight or tomorrow and all will be well. I gave her a gift when I saw her last month in Florida. No, it's my kids. The only kid I enjoy spending time with lives 600+ miles away. The other three who bug the crap out of me to varying degrees live way too close. Diva asked me today what I'd like for Mother's Day. She wants to cook me dinner. I'm OK with that, but have to decide what I want. But like I said previously, she kinda creeps me out and I don't trust her when she's being nice to me. As for Sproing, we had a brief interaction yesterday and he was unbelievably disrespectful to me. Superman had a talk with him and came away confused as to why Sproing seems to hate me so vehemently. I don't know. I wish we could ignore Mother's Day around here.

I've been having dreams recently in which I'm being attacked my small children. I used to love kids. I wanted lots. Be careful what you wish for. I'm so bitter and cynical about children now, and I hate it. Honestly, I am afraid of children.

I'm worried about Superman. He is under incredible stress. He was talking to the family therapist while I was away this week, and the therapist said if he doesn't relieve some of this stress it's gonna kill him. Kill him. Dead. I really really really don't want him dead. I need him desperately, I love him deeply, he is a large part of who I am. He needs to not be dead. And this kind of stress will kill a man. I've seen it happen before. With our recent brush with mortality (my Daddy) I'm even more aware of how fragile life can be.

The kids are putting us in danger, mentally, emotionally, and even physically. It makes sense to get them out of the house. We've been trying to get Diva out of here. We've looked into group homes and such, and due to her behavior history she doesn't qualify for placement in most of the places we can afford to put her. The state hasn't helped much. At all. We have yet another meeting with the Continuum of Care folks on Tuesday. Maybe there's something yet to be done.

Damn, I'm depressing myself. When I started this post my intention was to be cheerful and shit. And really, I had a lovely time in the mountains, even when putting up the tent in the rain (almost). (Almost a good time, not almost putting up the tent in the rain. I did put up the tent in the rain.) Thursday and Friday were gorgeous weather days. The drive yesterday was spectacular. Then last night I got to sleep with my husband (and also "sleep" with my husband) and that was lovely. The cat is affectionate, as if perhaps she missed me. She's getting fine black hairs all over me, but that's one of the ways she expresses her love, I like to believe. Oh, I also read a few books while I was gone. Lovely gay romances, mostly. I stayed up all night reading one on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, didn't go to sleep until maybe 8 in the morning. And no one was there to deride me for that shit. Love my Kindle!

Plans for today are to stay away from people as much as possible and perhaps get some more sleep. Lovely time in the mountains, not quite enough sleep. Eh. It's my way.

Oh, also, I bought a new "Welcome" mat to go in front of the tent in order to reduce the dirt going into the tent. Our front door mat is old and useless, so when I got home we threw out the old one, replaced it with the new one. The new one actually says "Welcome" on it. As introverted and, perhaps, unsocial as I am, I really don't like my door mat to say "Welcome." The old one said "Wipe Your Paws." That was better. I've seen one in magazines that says "Go Away" which suits me even better. Maybe I should get a plain mat and paint something like "Enter at Your Own Risk" on it. Although actually I like "Go Away" better.

Be back here soon, hopefully, with pictures from the trip.

Blogger - A - Thon

... or whatever we're calling it. Lordy, I've heard about as many terms for this meeting as there are bloggers attending.

We're in Delaware, Superman and I, meeting up with Ur-Spo and Harper's Keeper and Retired in Delaware and Jay in Virginia and Anne Marie in Philly and Cubby from Patently Queer and about as many more as I've just listed. It's very late, I've been drinking (not drunk, not even tipsy anymore), rode for 5 hours today and rode/drove 8 hours yesterday and I am so tired. But excited. But need to go to sleep.

And by "today" and "yesterday" I mean Friday and Thursday. Superman and I left South Carolina Thursday morning, drove to the Richmond, VA area to meet Jay. (I'll have links and shit tomorrow. Too tired/lazy tonight) We crashed at Jay's last night, then got up this morning, had some IHOP breakfast (but not the IHOP on Cox) and Jay drove (we rode) the scenic route to Delaware. It was beautiful. And it meant sitting in the car for a long time. I got a lot of knitting done. Or as VUBOQ says, I knat.

So far we have had loads of fun. Tomorrow (Saturday) promised even more fantastic fun. Perhaps I'll get online tomorrow before I'm as tired as I am now and perhaps write a post that's more clear than this rambling mess.

Having a marvelous time. Wish you were here.

Betwixt and Between

I like this time between Christmas and New Year's Day, being inside the parentheses of traditionally major celebrations. One of Superman's favorite movies is "While You Were Sleeping" with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. Are you familiar with that one? Sandra Bullock (Superman thinks she's sexy) plays "Lucy" who fantasizes she's in love with a guy who falls off the 'L' platform on Christmas Day. He spends this week between Christmas and New Years in a coma. Suspended animation. While I'm no where near being in a coma, and I have been known to get shit done, it is nevertheless a week of time where ordinary feels out of place.

As long as Superman has worked at his current place of employment, this week has been out of the ordinary at the plant. The first few years he worked there they had "shut down" and he had to work extra hours doing the maintenance shit that has to happen when the machines aren't running. This place runs a 24/7 manufacturing operation that doesn't stop willy-nilly. Then he moved into a position at the company where he had nothing to do during "shut down" so he took the week off. He had to save vacation time to do it, of course. Now that he's been with the company over 18 years he has lots of vacation time to play with. This year, however, the vagaries of production, sales, natural disasters, etc. have changed the traditional down time so the plant is still running. Also Superman's had to take a lot of vacation days for health related problems throughout the year. Health and family emergencies. Refer to the archives regarding drama with the kids. He hasn't got vacation time left to take off this week. But then, as if his subconscious knows he's not supposed to work this week, he caught a doozy of a chest cold and has been in bed most of the week. Including Christmas Day. He went in to work Friday, but only managed half a day before he got so weak and exhausted he had to come home. The fever has quit, he's able to stay awake for hours at a time now, and his voice sort of works again. His normal tenor voice is basso profondo, but he's at least able to speak.

Light and Twitch were both home for Christmas. I drove Twitch back to Charlotte on Thursday. It's the first time since my hernia surgery that I've driven, so of course rather than driving a few miles around town, I drove almost 300 miles, half of that with a loaded pick up truck. Twitch is moving out of his apartment, but with no other plans for housing, he will move in with some friends for temporary. He'll be sleeping on the floor in the living room. So he asked me to bring a bunch of his stuff home until he gets something permanent. Still not allowed to lift over 5 pounds (yeah, like that's happened), I couldn't do much to help him pack his stuff. I got home safely, but of course the others had to unpack the truck. I was OK with this plan.

It was really good having Light home for Christmas this year. She didn't make it home last year until the second week of January. She was only here for about three days, but it was a very good visit. I enjoyed Twitch's company for the most part, and he's much more chillaxed now that he's taking Celexa. Those SSRIs are wonderful. Sproing was a pain in the butt most of the week, and his outbursts really stressed out Twitch. Twitch's stress-out recovery time is shorter now, thank Celexa. Ironically, Sproing is also on Celexa, but it doesn't help him be less annoying. Unless it does and I just don't appreciate the difference. God help us.

Superman has a nasty cough. It's being productive now; I'll spare you the details. The man coughs very loudly. I feel sorry for him. To lessen the chance of contamination he hasn't kissed me in a week. That right there sucks. He's right beside me, but I miss him. Does that make sense? I miss being closer. He's my spouse, but this feels a bit like roommates. Ah, well. He's getting better.

I have read a lot this week. Mostly gay romance. I needed something light and hadn't had a gay romance fix in a while. Problem is, when I'm really into a story I hate to stop so I end up staying up half (3/4ths? 7/8ths?) the night to finish the story. Even when the story isn't that good, dammit! My mom always reads when she goes to bed, but she falls asleep with the book in her hand. Me, I don't fall asleep. Occasionally I'll get tired enough to put the book down, but unless I'm totally spent my brain will keep me awake thinking about the story. In which case I might as well stay up and read, right? Superman, the dear, is able to sleep even if the bedside light is on. Bless his heart. He has no idea (I think) how late I was up last night (this morning). My point is that wow, I'm sleepy. Think I'll go ahead and post this, floss and brush my teeth, shove the cat out of my spot on the bed and go to sleep.

Java! Do NOT pick up your Kindle! 

Back to something like my life

I have been away. I am now back. If I change one little letter in the previous sentence it says "I am not back" which is how my fingers typed it the first time. My fingers Freudian slipped.

I was away for 11 days visiting Light, then Indigo, then driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains. While away I was alive. The day I came back (Tuesday evening) and the following morning I was alive and angry. Angry at how we live here in this house, angry at the complacency everyone shows about the many nouns that are out of place. Concrete and abstract nouns. For example: the disambiguated door leaning against the wall by the kitchen. It has no purpose besides stubbing toes. The pervasive stench of sour urine throughout the house caused by Diva's bed wetting and her failure to wash her bedclothes when she wakes up wet. The antagonism my children have for each other, for us as their parents, and for the world in general. Yes, I was angry. But everything is fine now. The enormity of it all has overwhelmed me once again until I am numb on the surface. HELP! I'm suffocating in this stultifying* miasma** that is my life. I hardly recognize the woman who just two days ago was driving through the Appalachian Mountains, full of life, determination, and confidence. I almost can't remember the feeling of that indignant anger. I certainly don't feel it anymore. All I feel is sadness. No, more like despondency.*** 


Perhaps I don't drink enough. I have a drawer full of beer in my refrigerator. To numb the pain of this numbness I could become a drunk. Not just an occasional drinker, but a drunk. I know that's a bad idea in the long run. The argument I tell myself against such foolishness is almost the same as the argument I use for not killing myself. Does anyone else see a red flag there?

What can be done? Nothing. Refer to the definitions of stultify, miasma, and despondent.

Please take me away from here!


*stultify - to render absurdly or wholly futile or ineffectual, especially by degrading or frustrating means.
** miasma - a dangerous, foreboding, or deathlike influence or atmosphere.
***despondent - feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom.
-from Dictionary.com

Road Trip Log: Day 1

Miles driven so far: 199

We made it as far as Charlotte today. No, that's not very far.

We started out going the wrong way, sort of. We went to Columbia to see Diva. It was a short visit, relatively painless. She wants to come home on a weekend pass. I don't think I'm ready for that, and I'm pretty sure Sproing isn't ready either. You know she threatened to kill us, right? I'm not over that, mainly because I believe that even now she still wants us dead. Sproing says he hates her and never wants to see her again. Light hasn't admitted, at least to me, that she hates her sister, but she has told me that she doesn't want to ever see the girl again. Somehow that doesn't seem like a good atmosphere in which to bring the child.

From Columbia we came up the highway to Charlotte, and dropped by Twitch's place to drop of a big bulky piece of equipment he got from his grandma in Florida. He and Light didn't have room to bring it back with them, because they both needed lots of leg room in the front seat. This thing (a mat cutter for mounting artwork) is long, and only fit into the back of the car with the back seats folded down and the front passenger seat slid all the way forward. Sproing was able to fit in the seat fine, but C had an uncomfortable trip until we got to Twitch's place. The monstrosity is out of the car now, and C rearranged/repacked the car while I said hello/goodbye to Twitch.

C's boyfriend lives near Charlotte, so we're here now to meet up with him. The boys will spend a little while visiting until the boyfriend has to go back home. His mother likes to keep the poor kid on a short leash. We're down to less than three months until the young'un can leave home! I need to come up with a good name for the boyfriend. His name begins with the same letter as C's ex, and since I used that to refer to the ex, I don't want to use it now. Hell, that would confuse me.

We're staying the night in Charlotte, and will hit the road tomorrow aiming for Maryland. According to Google Maps, we will have approximately 7 hours of driving time tomorrow. It's not too much, really. Very reasonable. We're taking our time, having fun.

The drive from Columbia to Charlotte was very pretty. The sun is bright today, and there were perfect puffy clouds in the sky. Grass and trees are green, the sky is blue, all is right with the world. Traffic was light and fast until we got close to Charlotte, and even then it wasn't bad. We got here after the lunch rush and before the afternoon mess. If we get a good early start tomorrow we should have it pretty easy most of the drive to Maryland.

Update: As it turns out, the boyfriend was not able to get away to meet with us. C'est la vie. Somebody was very disappointed.

The Aftermath and other ramblings

I don't like the word "aftermath." I think it is a stupid word, but sometimes that's the right word to use. It probably isn't the right word to use in this case, but whatever.

I do like the phrase "but whatever."

Graduation weekend is over! I survived! We all did, actually. The visit with the in-laws went well. We were all on our best behavior. Superman says he felt the disapproval from his dad, but neither of them said anything. They didn't say anything critical to me. I tried not to say much of anything at all to them. I smiled. I answered questions. I excused myself from the gathering, went to my room and took a nap. That was the best part of all. When I finally woke up at 9:00 p.m., they had gone back to their hotel.

The visit with Mama was mostly nice. As I mentioned in a previous post, she was mildly annoying, but only because I allow myself to be annoyed at some of her little quirks. She didn't intentionally annoy me, as far as I could tell. We didn't really do much. It was a very laid-back visit. She brought a book and read a lot. I blogged some while sitting in the living room with her. That is sort of like spending time with her. We're in the same room, and if I see something particularly interesting I read it to her.

Mama has always been a very active person. She is in her mid 70s now, and beginning to slow down. I have never been active. That woman has run me ragged for years, dragging me here and there to see things that should interest me. Some of them do interest me, so I guess I'm better for it. Now that she's slowed down so much, I can keep up with her. I actually am waiting on her now. I like this better.

She told me about a time when I was 4 years old. I had a favorite baby doll that I carried around a lot. I took the doll to preschool one day and gave it away to another child in the class. Mama was upset that I'd done that, but evidently I didn't think anything of it. I can see both sides of the situation now, as a mother and a generous person. As a mother, I would be frustrated if my child did that, especially if I had spent time and money buying the doll specifically for my child. I can also clearly understand my desire to give a toy to another child if I felt that the child would be comforted by my action. Mama has no recollection of why I felt inclined to give the toy away. She doesn't think that way herself. As nice a person as she is, generally, she isn't into sacraficial generosity. I don't know why, but I am. Evidently I always have been.

Let me tell you the incident that sparked this conversation. We were on the interstate on the way to the airport for her flight back home. I was in the right lane, and traffic was moderately heavy. An 18-wheeler was entering the highway from an entry ramp with a fairly short merge lane. I was in the way, and couldn't get into the left lane. The truck was rapidly running out of lane, so I slowed down to allow the truck to merge. As soon as I got clear of the back of the trailer I flashed my headlights and waved him over. Mama said something about me being nice, but with a tone that suggested she thought this was not a good thing. I'm too nice, or perhaps she wouldn't have been so nice.

But that's who I am. It's what I do. As for trucks, I've always had a lot of respect for truckers on the road. As I have learned rules of the road that make driving easier for truck drivers, I've adapted my driving behavior to accomodate them. Now that I've spent over three years as a professional driver myself, I have even more respect for anyone who drives a large vehicle. I know how tough it is to move a big long vehicle into another lane. I also don't usually mind driving behind a truck, but I understand a lot of people do. I hate being behind a school bus, ironically. Most bus drivers do, especially if they are driving a school bus at the time.

Did I mention that my "F" key still isn't working well? That is so fffffrustrating!

There's more, but I'll save it for another post.

Notes from the road

Today has been a traveling day for me, and tomorrow will be much the same. I am in Lexington VA at a hotel that was stamped with a cookie cutter, pretty much like the other hotels along this road. And like the other hotels at every exit on the interstate all up and down the eastern seaboard and beyond. It has a bed, warm running water in the bathroom, and the air conditioner works! 

I have been in Baltimore since last Friday. This week Baltimore has been warm and humid. It hasn't been really hot, and the temps cooled off throughout the weekend, but not much. The humidity has remained high, though, and there isn't a lot of air movement through Indigo's house. It's a row house, like bazillions of other row houses in that city. It seems as though air flow was not the primary concern of the architects 100+ years ago. Eh. 

I am taking a long and winding route home. I was originally planning to leave Baltimore tomorrow, but with the situation at home being so tense I decided to leave today. I still won't get home until tomorrow, but it won't be as long and hard a trip so I'll arrive (hopefully) a little more refreshed than I would if I drove the 12 hours straight through in one day. And I've taken the scenic route. I drove on Skyline Drive through parts of Virginia today. It would have been majestically beautiful if the sky had been clear. Mostly I saw fog. That was fun, though. When the fog is pretty dense I see ghosts in the road ahead of me. They flit in and out, only appearing for a second. Sometimes the ghosts look like big cars or buildings or very large animals. The one time I rounded a curve to find a large doe in the middle of the street, I had to realize that it was really a deer, not a figment of the fog. She proceeded safely across the road. All is well. 

I saw quite a few turkeys today. Hens, mostly(I think they were), and solitary. I have always seen turkeys in flocks, with a tom or two and a passel of hens. I suppose these turkeys may have been young males. I don't know, but it was fun seeing them. 

I have a bunch of stuff to deal with when I get home. I will make an appointment for Diva to see the gynecologist. I think she needs to have an examination as soon as possible. I'm hoping the doctor can scare her with frightening information. I'm hoping she listens to the doctor better than she listens to me. I'm her mother. I obviously don't know anything. 

Thank you. All of you who have expressed concern, wished us good luck with this situation, offered to have a few glasses of wine (or hard liquor) on our behalf, you have been a great encouragement to me. This isn't an easy situation (duh) and I don't expect any advice, necessarily. We have some medical/psychiatric support in place and things are in process. Meanwhile, your encouragement really helps my spirits. 

On the agenda for tonight is a warm bath, then sleep. I shall return with more interesting information (or the same old dull stuff) as soon as possible. 

The situation warrants

an update. Yes, I am in Baltimore. Right now I'm sitting in Indigo's living room on his new recliner. It's very comfy, and it reclines so as to comfortably allow me to type away on the computer. What fun! Indigo made waffles this morning! 

I actually left home at my target time! I was so impressed with me. I woke up Friday morning 15 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I had set it to 4:00 a.m., but evidently I'd had enough sleep fifteen minutes before that. I had packed almost everything into the car the day before, so there was not much to do to get ready to go. I pulled out of the driveway at approximately 4:50. I would have been here at the 12 hour mark had I not arrived in the greater Baltimore area right at rush hour. I made very good time until I was within about 20 miles of my destination. That final 20 miles took 45 minutes. Ah, well. I made it, and have been enjoying myself ever since. 

Indigo and I went shoe shopping yesterday. A refresher in Java trivia: Java hates shoe shopping. We went to the DSW store. I found the shoes I needed with the second pair I tried on!!!! Yes, I only tried on two pairs. The lovely young woman assisting us was a pleasure to work with. Indigo and I were having lots of fun being silly, and she joined in the fun. I'll have to take a picture of my new shoes. 

I have some pictures I want to share, but they are still in my camera. I'm too comfy in this comfy chair to get my camera and download the photos. I will get to it later. 

I drove through the Shenandoah Valley. Wow. Gorgeous! I love that area, slightly east of the Appalachian mountains in North Carolina and Virginia. I would move there if the opportunity were right. I stopped at one point somewhere in Virginia to stretch my legs and use the bathroom. It was so pretty, but it smelled of skunk. I assume all of the Shenandoah Valley doesn't always smell of skunk, but the part I smelled was stinky. I will forgive. Heck, I'm over it already. 

There may be a few other things I wanted to tell you, but I can't remember right now. I'll get around to yammering on about other stuff within the next day or so. In the meantime, enjoy your weekend, and for those of us in the U.S., enjoy the holiday weekend. 

My life this week - the good parts

This week has been full of ups and downs, and not moderate fluctuations. No, these have been high amplitude fluctuations. I'm grateful for the highs. Frankly, I haven't had many highs recently. 

So should I start with the wonderful things, or save them for last? Oh, lets start now. 

On Thursday after classes were over I took my beloved truck and drove into the mountains of North Carolina. This is the thing I need to do whenever I need a thrilling rush. I love driving my truck in the mountains! I love seeing how fast I can take those tight curves. The road I was on has a speed limit of 45 miles an hour along most of the stretch between towns. Of course as curvy as it is, one rarely can reach 45 mph, but I did as much as I was able. I discovered that most of the curves marked 25mph can be successfully navigated in 3rd gear at 35 mph. The ones marked 35mph I was often able to take at 45mph in 4th gear. I didn't spend much time in 5th gear until I got to the straight stretches. 

I forget how much I love driving in the mountains. Before long I found myself spontaneously whooping on the tight curves. Whooping, you know, as in "Yee-ha!" I laughed loud and strong. FUN. I rarely have real fun. I should do it more often. It's good for the soul. 

I went to North Carolina for a specific reason, not just for the drive. I allowed myself to experience a fulfilling cultural event and meet with a dear friend. Chanticleer performed at Brevard College Thursday night. Every time I hear those guys my soul is enriched. They are nice to look at, too. The main reason I went all the way to Brevard, though, was to see Gregory. He blogged for a while as the Ubiquitous Hobbit, but had to close the blog when he became a public figure. He is one of my first online friends. We spent a couple of hours together after the show just chatting and eating fattening food in a diner. It was fun.  

Then I got to drive the 2.5 hours back across the mountain and into the guts of South Carolina. It was 3:00 a.m. when I got back to town. Since I was still awake anyway, and needed some stuff, I went to Wal-Mart. I like shopping at 3:00 a.m. There are so few customers in the store then. The last few times I've been in that store I've gotten cranky about how many people were there. 

I had a nice 3 hour nap when I got home, and was in my 8:00 class Friday morning. I can do that occasionally. It actually thrills me to do that occasionally. If it happens too often, though, I get sick. I knew I had no tests or assignments due Friday which is why I allowed myself to indulge in the trip to Brevard Thursday night. It was the right thing to do. 

Today is a fun weather day. We've got real rain, not just little drizzly sprinkles here and there. And thunder!! I like thunder. The windows shook a couple of time earlier this morning. As long as I don't have to be out and about in weather like this, I really like it. Really. A lot. 

Light is home for her Spring Break. It is so good to hear her voice in the house again! She is a bright spot in my life. I think one of the reasons I enjoy her being here is that she's not here all the time. It's a pleasant break from normal for her to be here. I like talking with her, sharing our various experiences with each other. This is her home, but I'm really glad she has a college home too. I'm proud of myself for being so emotionally healthy about my young adult daughter striking out on her own. I like the way the college experience works for young people. They are quasi-independent, but have a home to come to and work from. I think it helps the growing up process. 

Those are my happy things. It goes downhill from here. This post is long enough as it is, so I'll write another one about the down side of my week. It follows this one. Read it if you want, don't if you'd rather not. I must write it, for that is the therapeutic nature of blogging for me.

The mood on the bus goes round and round

I'm getting used to having the monitor on the bus. He really is a friendly fellow. He talks about dirt track racing, and a lot about cars. The racing seems interesting. (I said this to Light earlier this evening, and she said "No, Mom!") But I especially enjoy the discussions about cars and trucks. He is a wealth of information at the very least. He's lived here all his life, knows a lot of people, knows history and reputation and other useful stuff.

Today we were discussing cars, used cars, buying cars, buying cheap cars, deciding what would be the most financially beneficial for an old clunker- stripping it down and making it into a race car, or buffing it up a bit and selling it as a cheap used car. Sometimes it's a tricky decision to make. I'd never thought about it before.

Twitch is 17. He still has a driving learner's permit that has now expired. He never asks to go out to practice driving. The only thing we have to drive now, anyway, is the full size van (very very large and hard to maneuver) or my beloved truck. Twitch despises my beloved truck. He also isn't keen on learning to drive on a standard transmission.

It would be extremely helpful if he had a car and a license and could drive himself to and from school, take his siblings to school in the morning, run errands for his darling mother, and have transportation to and from an eventual JOB!!! PLEASE!!! SOON!!! So I was discussing with my monitor the options for buying a cheap used car. He's got connections! He knows lots of stuff.

There is a car for sale now that he knows about. It is in excellent mechanical condition. This is like saying the blind date your cousin is setting up for you has a pleasant personality. Oh, yeah, it is bug ugly. We drove past it on the way back to the bus lot. The hood latch doesn't work, which the owner discovered after the hood flew up while she was driving down the highway. It flew open and hit the windshield, cracking the windshield badly. She should have suspected there might be a problem after she rammed the car into a tree in her yard, bending the front grill and hood area. But she remained clueless. The car needs window glass in one of the doors, too, because she did some dumbass thing to break that. There are a few other areas of body damage from various too-close encounters with stationary objects. (Not a good driver, methinks.) With a little bit of body work and some salvaged parts, this could be a very good (if ugly) car. And I think I can get it for under $300 if I move quickly.

My original purpose for this post was to say that I'm feeling better about having Mr. Monitor on the bus. But I seem to have gotten distracted. Oh, well. Par for the course.

I've come this far...

I made it to Orlando. All is well, except that I had forgotten how silly my mother is.
I pulled out of my driveway at 9:01 a.m. I walked in Mama's front door at 8:30 p.m. It wouldn't have taken that long, except I'm a shunpiker. I didn't get on the interstate until I was 1.5 hours away from Orlando. The area around Orlando is so built up for miles and miles. Taking the smaller highways means stop and go, traffic lights every few blocks within 50 or 60 miles of this place.

I drove my beloved truck, Manny. He did fine. I don't like to ask too much speed out of him, so avoiding the interstate usually allows me to go at a somewhat slower pace. I tried to be safe. I stopped when I needed to, walked around a bit, had a snack and a bathroom break regularly. I wore my seat belt, I didn't follow to closely and tried not to be followed too closely. That's a bit trickier, though! I let Mama and Superman know my route; I called Superman every couple of hours just to make him aware of my progress. I paid close attention to the traffic and road conditions around me. I have good mirrors on the truck which improves my vision field, and I use my mirrors extensively. Guys, I'm a professional driver. I know what I'm doing. Granted that doesn't prevent other idiots from doing unto me that which will cause damage, but I'm usually pretty aware of conditions and try to avoid situations that could turn ugly. I am not perfect and sometimes do careless or stupid stuff when I drive, but not intentionally, and I fix my attention when I notice shit like that happening. And I notice a lot. It's a Java thing.

Now that she has gone to bed, I'll tell you about my silly Mama. First of all, I had to teach her how to use Google. The woman has had a computer longer than I have. She's an accountant, self employed. She needs the computer for work, and can do that bookkeeping/accounting stuff like a little demon when she gets going. It's Greek to me. However, the internet befuddles her. She's good at email, and last time I was here I taught her about Shanghai Dynasty. Nasty thing. Don't go there. Don't fall in to the trap. Today I taught her how to use Google. We got into the advance search feature and I helped her look up herself online. She typed in her given name, not the nickname she's used since she was in high school. Over 200,000 results, probably none of them her. Not in the first 100,000 pages anyway. Then I had her type in the name she uses every day. Still a bunch of results. Went to Advanced Search, had her add her profession, and we put her name in the "this exact phrase" field. Down to 197 results. Added a couple of the professional and service organizations of which she is a member, and got 6 results! And the first 3 were actually her. I couldn't tell if she was impressed or not.

And I told her about blogs. I told her a little bit about our section of the blogging community. Told her how many new gay friends I have. She's pretty accepting. Don't think the gay thing bothers her much. However, she rolled her eyes at me. I suspect she thinks I've gone a bit overboard with this. Not that it bothers me, mind you. She's my mother. What she thinks doesn't affect much of what I do. (remind me of this next time I get upset about my kids ignoring me)

Thanks to Lewis, I've met a couple of other bloggers from this area. We may be getting together Friday night. Of course I mentioned this to Mama. The first thing she asked me is "Have you actually MET them before?" uh.. not in person. "Be careful!" she says, in that tone of voice. Mama, it isn't like that! I'm afraid the woman believes every urban legend she's ever heard. She forwards all those emails to me. I think I've introduced her to Snopes.com. Maybe we need another internet lesson tomorrow.

Anyway, I had a wonderful day today driving my truck for hours and hours. And I'm in Mama's condo now, and it is clean! (My house hasn't been clean since 1995) Although my darling Superman is 400+ miles away from me right now :-( , my children are 400+ miles away from me right now! :-) And I'm blogging, which always makes me happy. Things are good.

I'll be back when I can get here. I'll be thinking of you all (at least a little bit) when I'm gone. (It has been suggested by those closest to me that I have a problem spending too much time blogging. I have no problem at all. I can spend too much time blogging quite well, thank you!)