these days….

Days march on.  And we live them the best we can.  We love.  We find things to rejoice over.  And we simply just keep keeping on.

We adjust.  Time and time again.  We do.  We will continue to.

That’s the way it is. That’s the way it HAS to be. That’s the way we all need to be.

Today Edd’s work announced he will go to a part time schedule and will serve as consultant and mentor in the Product and Test Engineering organization instead of being the guy in charge.   Another person will assume responsibility for Product and Test Engineering now.   He has been a successful leader…

When he got home and I asked how he was and how it went, he simply said, “It had to be done.”  There is much up in the air now.  Many uncertainties.  Is the company going to be bought?  Swallowed up by another?   Probably so.

I have wondered if I will get through these times and still be whole.  Sane.  If there has ever been a time for courage, it is now.  During these days.

I find courage knowing I’m not the first to have walked this road.  Nor will I be the last.

But I have made a decision.  Though I feel fragile and want so badly to grieve at times I have decided to have courage.  I have decided to show strength.  I will not have a pity party very often.  I will love as best I can.  Though I feel weak, I’ll be strong when I need to be.  There are still good things to think on.  Good days ahead.  God will carry me.  Carry us.

One of the most valiant things we can do for another human being is to love them through times of pain or challenge or struggle.  And I’ve made a decision to do that.

“When you’re weak, I’ll be strong. When you let go, I’ll hold on. When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes.  When you feel lost and scared to death, like you can’t take one more step.  Just take my hand, together we can do this.  I’m gonna love you through it.”

The Flu... and the best meal I've ever eaten....

If we have our health we really don't have too much to complain about. But we do anyway. I know I do... Edd had a work trip to Ontario this week and told me about a story that was in the news there. A 13 year old boy had died of H1N1 Swine Flu. He got the flu and was dead less than 48 hours later. The dad said his son was his best friend. The family is completely grief stricken. The dad is clearly in shock. Death from the swine flu is a rare event, but why the same strain of virus can cause mild symptoms in one healthy person and be lethal in another is a mystery. Its newness may be a factor. How very sad....

I recall my own experience with the regular flu while we lived in Germany. It was somewhere around 1995. I was never prone to illness but this time I couldn't get out of bed for two days. I felt bad that my daughters, Kristen and Jenni, had to fend for themselves although they were 9 and 11 years old. Their dad was on an assignment with the Army. I don't remember ever feeling so weak and sick. Staying in bed for me was way out of the ordinary. It just never happened.

After two days my fever broke and I was beginning to feel better. I vaguely remember the girls checking up on me while I was sick but now I was starting to become clear in my thinking again and I expressed an interest in food. It was at this time I ate the best little meal in my whole life! My thoughtful daughters went into the kitchen, heated up a can of minestrone soup, and brought it to me on a tray with some tortilla chips, a spoon and a napkin. It was so thoughtful it brought tears to my eyes and tasted better than anything I ever ate before. I will never, ever forget that meal prepared for me.

I've had many good meals since that simple one but none compare. I know it may sound silly but it's true. I've eaten at magnificent restaurants in Las Vegas and oh, ... how about III Forks here in Austin where we ate filet Mignon, magnificent off-the-cob creamed corn, duchess potatoes, superior wine, and a to-die-for dessert. Edd and I talked about that meal for a week afterwards! But no.... it doesn't compare with how good that simple little meal made me feel. The one my daughters brought to me. The one that really did seem to taste better than anything I've ever had. The one I often talk about when reminded of the best meals I've ever had in my whole life.