I Am A Fishwife - Shopping for Calamari

As I continue to mature…ahem…I realize that the events that often bring me the most energy and excitement and make me feel “young” are the ones where I venture into something unknown and try something new!  Saturday morning was such an event for me.

When we first moved to PV Shores, our good friend and painter, Themis Americas (a transplant from the city of Kalamata on the Greek Peloponnese peninsula) came to our house with a huge bag of fresh (read uncleaned) squid.  “Calamari” I exclaimed!  Not only did he gift me with squid but he showed Jay and I how to clean them and told us…shhhhhh…where to buy it!

 

Jay with Themis

Christmas is coming, I am Italian, I am preparing the dinner for Christmas Day, I need a vegetarian dish…Calamari!  So Saturday morning Jay and I set the alarm, got up early, and headed down to the huge building at the harbor where many fish mongers sell their catch to the public. 

Many of the doors were closed and we realized that those who want the best choice are there at 3 am.  It was already just past 7:30 and many had folded up shop!  But the last shop, the LA Fish Company, was open and we ventured in.  Fortunately we knew enough to wear old shoes because the floor was totally wet from the ice and water used for the fish.   

 

And what fish they had and what prices!  I was fortunate that when I entered a friendly woman shopper took pity on me and became my guardian angel.  Sue lived in Carson and came here often for fresh fish.  She swore this place was the best! 

Jay and I stood in awe of the variety displayed…all fresh (read uncleaned). 

 

Look at the blue lips on the parrot fish!

Then I spotted the little squid I was looking for in a large box with the price written on a piece of cardboard…50 cents a pound! Sue showed me how to get the plastic gloves on and where to get the large plastic bag and we both dug into the treasure trove.  She had never prepared this so I told how I cleaned them and how I prepared them.   

Finally a had my selection 

Weighing and paying!

but before I left, Sue pointed out her favorite fish to me…pompano…and told me how she prepared it. So I selected two fresh ones (read uncleaned) and then she said… "They will clean them for you for about $1 a fish!"  So I gave them to one of the men working on the tables along the side and received them back cleaned and butterflied!  He didn’t want any money… "Merry Christmas” he said…so we tipped him instead!

We were so energized after the experience that we treated ourselves to breakfast at the Pacific Dinner

and talked about the task ahead of us for the afternoon…cleaning that bag of squid and getting it packaged for the freezer…and the recipe I would use to prepared it for Christmas Day.  I went home feeling at least 10 years younger!

I Am An Explorer - A Day of Discovery

My husband loves maps!  It can be a globe, an atlas, Google Earth, or an AAA local map…he can pour over it and notice things that never hit my radar.  I look at a map and I search for the name of a city I am hunting for and that is it.  He sees so much more…the change in altitude reflected, blue curvy lines of rivers, the green patches that indicate a grassy area.  That is why, when we travel, I handle the logistics…the airline flights, the hotels, the trip insurance while he handles each day’s itinerary…where we are going and the route we will take.  As a result I have been treated to some of the most interesting sights and undiscovered jewels of locales and we always travel in a loop…so we never retrace our steps.

Yesterday, Jay stopped at AAA and procured recent maps of our locale and last night he was pouring over them with his highlighter and his magnifying glass.  

Today, he invited me to go with him for a ride.  He promised it would not be far and yes, we could stop at the Italian market, A-1 on 8^th street on the way home.

Where did we go?  About one mile down the street from our house to the end of Western Ave.  There he had seen a small patch of green on the map that turned out to be White Point Park.  We are fortunate to live along the coast but most of the coastline here is rocky cliffs and it is only at a few secluded locations that you can actually make your way down to the water.  This was one of them.  We drove down a steep incline to the water’s edge where there were rocky breakers, surfers, fishermen and people sitting…contemplating.  The air was crisp and clear and we spotted rocks covered with seagulls.

We returned up the incline and discovered a lovely little park and then, a Nature Preserve filled with walking trails.   

This part of the Palos Verdes Peninsula is subject to ground movement and this area is restricted for that reason but has been restored to its natural habitat.   Loved this sign..."On this restless ground lies a gem of open space!"

We walked around the preserve, commenting on the plants, the birds, and reading the signs about the Native Americans who originally lived here.  We passed many people walking their dogs, some boys on a dirt bike, everyone just enjoying the natural beauty set in the midst of our urban area.

From there we headed to the Italian Market.   

We have shopped here before and always seen the sign of Mirabella Winery next door but it is always closed.  Today as we walked buy it was open so we ventured in.   

How could we pass up a building with a bulletin board like this to greet you!

 

What a surprise!  Inside this large warehouse were all shapes and sizes of wine casks, grape crushers and other wine making equipment 

and inside the tiny salesroom was Tony Mirabella.   

He told us his story…his family had run this business for over 70 years and were able to provide everything a home winemaker could need to make their own wine.  It used to be a booming business. Now, even though most of the old Italian and Croatian home winemakers have passed away or moved away from San Pedro, he still stays in business, open 2-3 days a week unless it is crushing season,  because it is his heritage.   

Just standing in there looking at the items brought back old memories of homemade wine, the glass bottles under the sink or under the table, ready to be pulled out when a guest arrived at the house.  My brother, Fred, is such a wine-lover…maybe I can introduce him to Tony and he can take up wine-making when he finally decides to retire!  I will know right where to take him!  Salute! 

I Am A Friend - Walking and Talking with Cindy

There were times in my life when I have needed to seek the listening ear of a compassionate, wise therapist.  I would spend 50 minutes pouring out my angst, my fears, my confusion and she would sit, listen, encourage and sometimes make a suggestion.  I would leave a little stronger, a little calmer, and a little financially poorer.  But I considered it money well spent…it was for my personal well-being and sometimes life can overwhelm and this was a gift I could give to myself.

I am fortunate that my life is on an even plane these days…my strongest feelings are ones of contentment and gratitude…but there are still things I would love to share to a listening ear.  Enter my friend, Cindy!

Cindy is a gift that life handed to me a few years ago.  Like two magnets we were drawn into our friendship when Cindy joined Omnilore, our Learning-in-Retirement organization. We seemed like-minded and shared a similar energy.  For the past 2 years we have found 2 hours once a week to meet for a “walk and talk!”  Sometimes it is just through a neighborhood, sometimes it is at the Botanical Gardens, 

sometimes it is along the beach.  Today was our day and Cindy suggested we meet at the Interpretive Center in Palos Verdes.  I am so fortunate to live just a few minutes down Palos Verdes Dr. South from this location and enjoyed the coastal views as I drove to the Center.

Once there, and after our required pit stop so we would not get distracted…we headed out on one of the trails.  We have developed an easy way of sharing our lives.  It is as if we have an Indian “talking pipe” that we hand back and forth to each other.  I held the imaginary pipe first and talked about our Thanksgiving Day…she listened, commented, laughed; and then I handed the pipe to her.  She talked about her Thanksgiving Day…and I listened, commented, laughed. We often pass other walkers and periodically stop to appreciate the beauty of our surroundings…and today we also watched for rattlesnakes! 

And so it went for about an hour of walking, gifting each other with little snippets of our lives, our hopes, our concerns, our joys.

We always spend the last hour sitting outside a Starbucks, sipping coffee and continuing the talk.  We often coordinate classes together so we discuss the class and what we need to prepare.  When we return to the parking lot, before leaving we will reach into the trunks of our car to share an article, a bunch of kale from the garden, a book, a knitting project that we brought along to show each other…then we head off to our individual lives.  I leave a little stronger, a little calmer and only poorer by the cost of a cup of coffee!  

 I am grateful for my friend!

I Am An Officiant…Celebrating Marc’s Wedding

Several months ago, Marc and Charlotte talked to me about their upcoming wedding.  They described what the ceremony meant to them and how they wanted to have a very personal and public witness of their vows to each other.  They also wanted an officiant who knew them both well and would speak for them of what they valued in their relationship and marriage…and they asked…would I be that person!  To say I was stunned would be an understatement.  They had done all the research, told me where to go online to become affiliated with a “ministry” and told me to complete the paperwork, agree to the stipulations, and obtain a license that would allow me to officiate at weddings in the State of California.  This was a role that, in my wildest dreams, would never have imagined performing and it turned out to be the most rewarding and emotional moment I have experienced as Marc’s mother.  The father of the bride imagines throughout his life, the day he will walk his daughter down the aisle.  The mother of the groom imagines sitting on the right side of the aisle, smiling nicely…not being the one to guide her son and his bride through their marriage commitment.  

In the state of California, anyone who is affiliated with a ministry can be licensed to celebration officiant and witness a legal marriage.  I became affiliated with the First Nation Ministry. I became familiar with the marriage laws of the state and promised to abide by them.

The entire experience was a once in a lifetime kind of thing!  Initially it was the conversations it allowed me to have with both of Marc and Charlotte leading up to the wedding.  Sharing on questions such as “What do you want your marriage ceremony to be? What is important about marriage?  What does commitment mean? What are your childhood memories that you carry with you to this day? Why do you love each other and what do you want to promise each other?” gave me a glimpse into their inner hearts and allowed me to incorporate their thoughts and values into the ceremony.

The rehearsal was great…Marc, being the event public relations guru that he is, had already formulated the structure of the wedding…who would walk in with who, who would stand where…but when the ceremony itself was to begin, he turned it over to me.

On the day of the wedding, The Grand patio in Long Beach was transformed into a Disney wonderland…with blue and silver color combinations highlighted by thousands of little twinkling lights.  It was Charlotte’s dream realized.  Her dad, Bossie, walked her down the aisle to the beautiful melody of “When You Wish Upon a Star”… she said she did wish upon a star for Marc.

Then the ceremony began and I was able to speak to them from my heart…to reiterate much of what they had told me while also interjecting some of the beliefs that I hold about relationship that come from my years of living. 

When it came to their vows, I was so moved by the honesty and candor with which they spoke to each other…they spoke from their hearts and they could have been the only two people in the patio.  

As I walked them through the forms of the ceremony, they looked at me so intently, listening carefully and I could see the child in my son’s face.  He listened and it was as if he said… "Yes, Mom…I promise I will do all that you say!”  

I was proud that I maintained my composure and didn’t dissolve into tears of the joy that I was feeling.  I only came close when I extended my hand and gave them a blessing…asking for all that I hope for their life together.

The rest of evening carried on in the same personal, intimate spirit.  Happiness reigned!  

 

Marc emcee’d the entire evening, introducing the various family members and friends who made toasts,

 

dancing the first dance and the dances with the parents, 

thanking everyone in such a personal way and finally even joining with his nephew Gabriel to surprise Charlotte by singing a duet to her.

 

The next day I completed my duties by signing their official marriage license and getting it to the country recorder’s office.

My officiant license is good for two years when it would have to be renewed.  I doubt that I would officiate at any other marriages, but the fact that I was able to do this for my dear, dear son and his beloved bride has truly been a highlight of my life.

Now it is a memory!  But it is a memory that fills my heart.  I now have two daughters-in-love and just like, Milli, Charlotte is amazing...and she and Milli have bonded as sisters.

All my children and grandchildren were present.  We were all functioning as a family unit while we walked with Marc as he passed another of life's milestones.  Michael, his brother and best man.

Joe his big brother, gave a great toast and kept Vito, the ringbearer, in line.

Joe giving a toast to his brother and Charlotte

Nikolas, his nephew was the troubleshooter, resolving minor issues that popped up and making sure all the seated guests were enjoying themselves.

Nik and Uncle Marc!

Gabriel entertained the guests with his fantastic duet with his Uncle.  Jay and Marc's father, Joe, sharing in the day.

Our Family!

Again I am left with the awareness of how fortunate I am and that it is family, and love, and being there for each, and encouraging, and acceptance, and rejoicing in each other's happiness that bring meaning to our life.

Thank you, Marc, for allowing me to be so intimately a part of your and Charlotte's day.

"May God bless both of you and your marriage…

May you enjoy a long and healthy life together.

May your home be filled with laughter, with good friends who stand by you, with the patter of little feet and with lots of photographs!

May Vito continue to delight you.

May you resolve any disagreements as quickly as possible.

May you always turn to each other in times of difficulty.

May your life together be one of growth and new discoveries.
May you always feel that what you have is enough.

May you always feel safe and secure in the love you have professed and shared today."