Friday, October 13, 2017

I Am An Aging Woman - Appreciating My Body

How did we do life before we had smartphones?  I could write numerous posts about how this little instrument has changed the way I navigate through life…some good and some not so good.  But for today, I am just going to focus on one aspect of it…the sending and receiving of short videos to and from my grandchildren.  

Since I have not yet learned how to bilocate, there are times when I am not able to be present for one of their activities, like yesterday’s “away” football game for Gabe’s team.  Jay and I attend all of his home games and Murphy’s Law…the one we miss is the one where he catches a pass and runs 40 yards before being tackled!  But, not to fear, on the bus on his way back to the school, Gabe sent me a text with a little video attached showing me in real time the execution of this wonderful moment!



As for Gino and Jessie…they are 2 ½ and 1 years old.  Everyday brings a new accomplishment and I get to see it on a video text…first steps, dirty chocolate hands and cheeks, a new monster mask, singing a new song, playing at the playground.  



Sometimes, like this morning, I received a “Good Morning, Mima” video from the 2 of them both chattering to me.  So I decided to reciprocate and I took a selfie video of me talking to them, thanking them for the morning message and asking about their day.  Charlotte said they loved it so I played it back to me to see what they saw.

Here comes the “not so good” part of this little instrument.  Have you ever looked at yourself on an up-close-and-personal selfie video!  Do I really look like that!  It is not complimentary.  So aged, so weathered, so worn. That is not how I look in my mind.  It was sobering.



Later in the morning I dragged my aged, weathered and worn body to the clubhouse for the weekly yoga class.  As I sat on my mat and stretched over my outstretched leg, I looked at it.  


The skin is dry despite the lotion I lather on.  There are little age spots I keep saying are freckles. I found myself massaging my leg and I became overwhelmed with a feeling of great tenderness.  I realized that this leg is 75 years old.  It is still serving me well.  I am able to take short hikes with my friend, Cindy.  I am able to stoop to weed my garden.  I am able to push the double stroller with two toddlers.  I looked at my arms and hands, both reflecting the passage of time, and think of how I am able to knit, cook meals, change diapers, even hoist up my “big boy” Gino, caress Jay’s cheek. 


I felt a tremendous sense of gratitude for this body of mine, this aged, weathered and worn body of mine.  It is not giving up yet.  The privilege of growing older is the best thing that has happened to me.  Rather than delete my selfies, I will rejoice in the fact that I am still here, that today is one more opportunity to begin again…to tell those in my life that I love them...to drink another glass of wine...  to listen to a happy song...to laugh with my husband...to try to have a positive impact.  But I think I will still refrain from selfies!  I am not blind!  But, I am grateful!

(Note: This is the first time I have embedded videos in a post, so I apologize in advance if they don't work!)