#501 - #503: Oshawott, Dewott & Samurott

Ash's Oshawott throwing its scalchop down in anger, only to pick
it up immediately afterwards because it is worried it might have
damaged its beloved weapon. 

Oh, how an initially unpopular Pokémon has come to be an outright fan favorite. When Oshawott was first released, Pokémon fans were fast to nickname it 'Wotter', but I can't say they were particularly charmed by its design. It wasn't until the anime that the fans started to like this thing, and only because of Ash's Oshawott's outgoing (and oftentimes even inconsiderate) personality. While it could be cute at times, Ash's Oshawott had a propensity for being dramatic whenever things went wrong or didn't go its way, and it acted proud and boastful - not unlike Dawn's Piplup, with whom it had a transitory rivalry. Oshawott's antics greatly entertained the Pokémon fans and it quickly grew to be a fan favorite during the Best Wishes! series, which is widely regarded as a disappointing anime generation. Then there's Oshawott's scalchop, a shell that is used as a weapon when Razor Shell is executed and is made of the same material as claws and fingernails (keratin), growing back whenever it happens to get destroyed. Ash's Oshawott even panicked whenever it lost its scalchop, was happy when he found out that it hadn't done any major damage to it after throwing it down in anger, and got angry whenever it got stolen by another Pokémon.

Ash's Oshawott was... easily infatuated. This GIF shows Oshawott and Dawn's
Piplup falling in love with the same Pokémon.

Piplup and Oshawott's rivalry continues as Piplup attempts to best Oshawott
in getting Meloetta's attention.

But eventually, Piplup and Oshawott realize they care deeply for each other as
they say a teary-eyed goodbye. 

The scalchop also plays a big part in the whole samurai theme that this evolution line has going for them, as it holds similarities with Japanese war fans, which were often used by samurai for defensive purposes. Moreover, the fans weren't wrong calling Oshawott 'Wotter', because sea otters were definitely the inspiration for this Pokémon, as is indicated by its English name as well as its German name Ottaro and its Korean and Mandarin Chinese names. Incidentally, Oshawott's Japanese name Mijumaru (ミジュマル) may refer to an otter named Mijbil, the subject of an autobiographical novel and movie called Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell, about his life in a remote house in coastal Scotland where he kept several wild otters as pets.

One of the surprisingly few pieces of fan art I could find of Dewott.

When it comes to Oshawott's evolutions, Dewott (probably from the name Helen DeWitt, author of The Last Samurai) isn't that much different apart from having two scalchops instead of one, complete with honest-to-goodness samurai gear. Dewott uses its scalchops more intensively than Oshawott, using its double-scalchop technique through rigid training in order to accomplish fluid swordsmanship, although techniques differ from one Dewott to another. This fighting style is reminiscent to tessenjutsu, a martial art involving Japanese war fans that could make people so skilled that they were able to defend themselves against attackers with swords and even kill opponents with a single blow. The skilled wielder could even use it to fence and fend off knives and poisoned darts thrown at them. While Dewott probably doesn't possess such a level of skill, it is probably skilled enough for its evolution Samurott to suddenly wield whole-ass swords called seamitars. Now resembling truly armored samurai or shōgun, the war fan aesthetic is translocated from its pre-evolution's scalchops to its own goddamn tail, while the helmet-like shell over its head appears to be based on murex trapa - or the rare-spined murex shell. Samurott looks old and wise yet intimidating, and it actually is intimidating: in the time it takes for a foe to blink, Samurott can draw and sheathe the seamitars attached to its front legs, and one swing of its seamitar can fell an opponent. One simple glare or howl from Samurott quiets everybody.

Oshawott falling for Buneary, who shows more interest in Ash's Pikachu instead.

Isn't it adorable? I swear, The Pokémon Company have struck gold with
Oshawott's personality.

Oshawott, what the fuck are you doing? You can't even learn Belly Drum...

While still reminiscent to the giant otter, Samurott now looks more like a sea lion of some sort. In an interview, Ken Sugimori said that Oshawott and its evolutions were the hardest for the team to design during production, as conceptualizing its evolutions was difficult. The sea lion show during a trip to an aquarium inspired them to incorporate elements of sea lions in Samurott's design, hence why it looks so unlike its pre-evolutions. I just wish we had a different name for Samurott in English, because its French and German names of Clamiral and Admurai obviously refer to 'admiral' and its Japanese name Daikenki (ダイケンキ) is the complete on'yomi reading* of the word daikenki, which means literally 'big sword-wielding demon' in Chinese. I would have loved such a name for Samurott in English, too, but alas...

*(Sino-Japanese vocabulary - or kango - refers to that portion of the Japanese vocabulary that originated in Chinese or has been created from elements borrowed from Chinese, and on'yomi is the modern descendant of the Japanese approximation of the base Chinese pronunciation of a character at the time it was introduced.)

Badass TCG promotional art of Samurott.

Competitively, Samurott is... not very good, unfortunately. It has good HP, workable attacking stats, okay defense and mediocre special defense and speed, which doesn't make it a very versatile Pokémon: it cannot take special hits very well and it doesn't really outspeed many Pokémon in the metagame, either. You could fix that last problem with a Choice Scarf, but that means you won't be able to run a Swords Dance set. With base 100 attack and 108 special attack, Samurott doesn't really excel at anything in particular; despite its slightly higher special attack stat, its special movepool is incredibly lacking, with access to only STAB moves and Ice Beam - and Grass Knot, if that's your style. With access to Swords Dance - a move that raises its attack stat by two stages every time it is used - and a considerable amount of physical moves, a physical set is heavily recommended. The newly required Liquidation is definitely a must-have on a Swords Dance set, while Samurott has access to some nifty coverage moves like Sacred Sword (as of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon), Megahorn, Smart Strike, Iron Tail, Night Slash and Knock Off. Priority in Aqua Jet wouldn't be terrible to have on it, either, especially since Samurott isn't very fast in the first place. Now that I mention its speed, I'd recommend a Jolly nature to maximize its speed stat; you can just use a Life Orb for a bit more oomph behind its attacks instead of giving it an Adamant nature. Finally, Samurott's hidden ability Shell Armor prevents it from receiving critical hits, but maybe you'll want to go with its regular ability Torrent instead, which boosts its water-type moves when it is at or below one third of its health.

When in battle, Samurott can stand on its hind legs and use one of the blades
from its anterior legs as a sword to fight. 

The ultimate question is, 'Do I really want to use Samurott in a competitive setting?' Smogon also mentions a special set with Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, Grass Knot and either Aqua Jet or Taunt, but it's oftentimes not even fast enough to use Taunt and prevent opposing Pokémon from setting up on it, especially if it has any other nature than Timid. Samurott is an excellent Pokémon to use in a playthrough due to its well-roundedness, but it actually isn't that good in competitive. There are plenty of Pokémon that can do what Samurott can, and the abundance of water-type Pokémon in the games won't leave you dissatisfied in finding a better physical-based water type (right off the bat I think of starters like Feraligatr, Swampert and even Greninja, who are all miles better than Samurott when it comes to their physical utility).

Ash's Tepig (later Pignite) and Oshawott didn't get along very well...

Dafuq are you laughing at, Oshawott? As if you don't look ridiculous in that
Sewaddle collar...

I really do love Samurott's design and flavor. I was happy to use it multiple times throughout any Black/White/Black 2/White 2 playthrough, especially since I got sick of fire/fighting starters by the time Black and White were released, and I have to say it didn't disappoint at all: it was moderately bulky (AI Pokémon are stupid and aren't properly trained, so Samurott was sure to live a couple of hits as long as they weren't super-effective) and it did its job excellently once it had access to Swords Dance. So, as I did with some other Pokémon, I'm giving Samurott a perfect rating purely for its aesthetic qualities.

Rating: 5/5

#498 - #500: Tepig, Pignite & Emboar

Left: cute little Tepig seems to be a bit surprised by the flames
coming out of its snout. Right: what's a better way to show how
awkward Pignite really is than posting an image of its fucking
official art? Seriously though, who the hell came up with this?

My initial reaction to the red-hot Unova fire-type starters was... lukewarm. By the time Pokémon Black and White were released, I was as sick and tired of fire/fighting starters as everybody else in the fandom, and so I almost always ended up picking either Snivy or Oshawott when playing these games - or their sequels, for that matter. It's not Tepig's fault, really. This cute little British Saddleback piggy deftly dodges its foe's attacks while shooting fireballs from its nose, although the fire becomes pitch-black smoke when it catches a cold. Adorable. Nothing wrong with this thing... until it evolves into Pignite, that is. Whereas I would rather keep Tepig as a pet, I want to slaughter Pignite and make bacon out of it; it's that ugly. It's fat, which wouldn't have been a problem if this thing wasn't bipedal, and the brownish black fur makes it seem like it's wearing a wrestling singlet. This may sound weird coming from a gay man, but I don't think two sweaty men fighting it out in ugly bodysuits is particularly sexy, and a cartoon pig with fur that reminds me of such a suit is just plain weird. Pignite's flavor doesn't really help its cause, either: it has a fire in its stomach that it fuels with food, and the more fuel is added, the swifter and sharper its movements become. Every time it fires off a Flamethrower at your Pokémon, it's getting hit by burned-up gastric acids; think about that for a second when fighting this thing. Gross. By the way, there's nothing in the games that makes Pignite faster other than the move Flame Charge, which almost all fire-type Pokémon can learn.

Emboar being a badass in promotional TCG art.

But maybe I'm just so negative about Pignite because I really hate its design. Emboar, by contrast, is quite okay design-wise; while retaining the main feature of the British Saddleback (the 'striped' fur), it also adopts traits from wild boars and wrestlers - although arguably less awkwardly so than Pignite - as well as a couple of references to Chinese fairytales. First off, Emboar seems to be based on a soldier described in Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a critically acclaimed 14th-century historical novel attributed to Luo Guanzhong that is regarded as one of the Four Great Classical Novels in Chinese literature, just like Journey to the West. Much like Infernape is based on Sun Wukong from this classical novel, Emboar may be based on the pig demon Zhu Bajie, especially since Ken Sugimori stated that the entire evolution line were designed in a Chinese style. In fact, the swirl pattern around Emboar's abdomen resembles the patterns on ding, prehistoric and ancient Chinese cauldrons used for cooking, storage and ritual offerings to the gods or ancestors. The fact that Emboar is literally the only fire-type Pokémon that can learn Scald aside from Volcanion (who is also a water type) proves that it derives heavily from ding. Flavor-wise, Emboar has the most interesting Pokédex entries when compared to its pre-evolutions: the perenially flaring beard of fire is proof that it is fired up, and it uses this wreath of flames on its chin to ignite its fists and throw fiery punches our way. Holy shit, this thing has inflammable fists and it is not afraid to use them. That is awesome.

Awesome realistic art of Emboar. This is very well done.

Too bad Emboar isn't about using its fists in the competitive metagame, then. Sure, it learns Fire Punch just fine... by means of a Move Tutor. I'm literally laughing out loud right now; sometimes I think a Pokémon is so well-thought-out that I think the people at Game Freak are geniuses, and at moments like these I tend to believe those motherfuckers absolutely don't know what the heck they're doing. Anyway, Emboar's stat distribution seems to be kind of odd in a way, with excellent HP and attack, very good special attack and mediocre everything else. That means it won't outspeed a lot of things and won't take hits as well as you'd wish it to. Fortunately, there is a Choice Scarf set that can make this Pokémon potentially dangerous for any opposing team, and it involves a Jolly nature and Emboar's hidden ability Reckless. This ability increases the base power of moves that cause recoil damage by 20%, and let me tell you that Emboar learns quite a few of these. Flare Blitz will be its main source of power, as it's a fire-type move and thus provides some excellent STAB. Head Smash is, strangely, a level-up move that Emboar has access to and it can do some serious damage if you don't watch out (it already has a base power of 150, which will increase to 180 when applying Reckless), while Wild Charge through TM provides amazing type coverage against water and flying types, both of which Emboar is weak to. The last recoil-dealing move Emboar has access to is Take Down, but that is not a good move at all and should be avoided at all costs. Instead, go with a fighting-type move that matches up with Emboar's secondary typing, like Brick Break, Hammer Arm or Superpower, or - better yet - give it Scald. It may not be the best Pokémon to make use of that move, but at least you'll have an increased chance of burning a foe that relies on physical moves, which means Emboar can take a couple of hits in turn. On top of that, it hits rock types super-effectively and perhaps even more effectively than a STAB fighting-type move.

Emboar standing in the arena, ready to kick some ass. 

I actually think Emboar isn't that bad of a Pokémon. I like it more than Infernape, whom I'm currently using in an Ultra Moon playthrough with all starters, especially because it looks far more intimidating than and doesn't have quite as busy a design as the Sinnoh fire/fighting starter. I'm glad Game Freak hasn't made any more of those, mind you, and I hope they'll continue that trend, but Emboar is here now and it's fine for what it is.

Rating: 4/5

#495 - #497: Snivy, Servine & Serperior

Snivy and Servine.

We have arrived at the first official Unova starter Pokémon, and now we truly get to dive into the fifth generation. Snivy is a serpent-like grass-type creature, although with hands and feet and a snooty disposition. Its smug appearance and self-contented grin may throw you off a bit - in fact, when this Pokémon was first released and no official name was known yet, people were quick to give it the fan-made moniker 'Smugleaf' - but flavor-wise this Pokémon is honestly nothing more than just a photosynthesizing grass snake, basking its tail in sunlight in order to make its movements swifter. Even though Snivy and its middle evolution Servine are classified as the 'Grass Snake Pokémon', they may have been inspired by a variety of green vine snake species with a pointed snout, including oxybelis fulgidus, ahaetulla nasuta and ahaetulla prasina. Snivy's cool, calm and collected demeanor carries on to its evolution Servine, who tends to sink into the shadows of thick foliage before retaliating, although it fusses about staying dirt-free because its leaves are only capable of photosynthesis when they're clean.

Lastly, before we proceed to discuss Snivy's final stage Serperior, there's something to be said about the words 'snide' and 'snicker' being present in Snivy's English name, even though it's honestly more likely to derive from 'snake' and 'ivy'. I refuse to believe, however, that Servine comes from 'servant'. Ken Sugimori has stated that the whole evolution line is based on French royalty (wrong region, anyone?), specifically mentioning the anime The Rose of Versailles as inspiration, which is only backed up by the fact that some of Servine's physical features resemble the acanthus leaf motifs popularized during the Renaissance.

Frankly, I think Serperior is very beautiful and majestic, which
is why it's one of my favorite starters to date. Its royalty
aesthetics and regal disposition makes it quite the interesting
Pokémon, really.

The whole royalty aesthetic is most eminent in Serperior's design, too. This Pokémon radiates power and authority and can stop its opponent's movements with just its piercing glare, while foes unfazed by the glare from Serperior's noble eyes will get attacked by it at full force, indicating that it only gives its all against foes that it deems worthy battling with. Its Pokédex entries state that it is also capable of amplifying solar energy within its body, something I guess all grass-types can do by simply using Solar Beam, but this fact may very well be an allusion to King Louis XIV of France, who infamously referred to himself as the 'Sun King'. Serperior's white face alludes to the skin-whitening fashion mostly used by the European aristocracy in the 17th century, while the dark green mark on Serperior's chest seems to form a fleur-de-lis, a French insignia that is used on many European noble families' and nations' coat of arms. Aside from the ongoing French royalty theme, Serperior's design and flavor may also be inspired by several species of snake, specifically the emerald tree boa, the royal python or - as indicated by its paralyzing stare - the basilisk, the king of serpents in European legends (just watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets if you want to know what a basilisk does exactly). Finally, Serperior may also originate from an Aztec serpent deity called Quetzalcoatl, revered for its wind and wisdom.

Serperior whipping up a Leaf Storm.

Unfortunately, Serperior is a very one-dimensional Pokémon in the competitive scene. It has excellent speed and decent HP and defenses, making it one of the rare cases of a Pokémon being a speedy wall. Well... semi-wall, because its base 95 defenses aren't anything near perfect, which - for a Pokémon that I guess was supposed to be defensive - leaves a lot to be desired in combination with its base 75 HP. Sadly, Serperior lacks the support movepool to go with the utility strategy, which probably makes you wonder what exactly Serperior is used for? Strangely enough, it's an offensive Pokémon. Its base 75 attack and special attack are nothing to write home about, especially for a fully evolved Pokémon, but with its hidden ability Contrary and the move Leaf Storm, Serperior can actually sweep. Leaf Storm usually lowers the user's special attack stat by two stages after use, but Contrary inverts all changes to the stat stages of a Pokémon with this ability - e.g. a foe's Intimidate ability would raise Serperior's attack rather than lower it, and a move like Coil would lower its attack, defense and accuracy rather than raise them. This means Leaf Storm actually raises Serperior's special attack by two stages, making it increasingly dangerous to switch into. This strategy is fairly straightforward and very easy to see coming, although it has proved to be very effective when backed up by a Timid or Modest nature. The problem is that Serperior isn't very versatile when it comes to special moves; the best it has access to are Leaf Storm, Giga Drain and Energy Ball - all grass-type moves - and some type of Hidden Power. Substitute and Leech Seed (and Leftovers as a held item) are the only good support options to go with Leaf Storm, since it allows Serperior to build up strength and momentum without taking too much damage.

Additionally, one Smogon set mentions a 200-power Breakneck Blitz coming from Hyper Beam to counter Pokémon that otherwise wall Serperior, which could legit be an option to consider for the fourth move slot. You could even ditch Leech Seed and Substitute and go with a moveset consisting of Leaf Storm, Hidden Power, Hyper Beam and a status move such as Glare or Taunt. It isn't recommended if you don't know how to utilize that moveset, but maybe it'll work out just fine for you.

Holy shit, this creepy realistic art of Serperior is amazing!

I absolutely love Serperior. At one point in time, it was even my favorite starter Pokémon, until I got a newfound love for Sceptile during a couple of ORAS playthroughs and Empoleon because of my fairly recent admiration for steel types. I am currently doing an Ultra Moon playthrough with solely starter Pokémon (a physical- and special-based attacker for every type) and Serperior is my grass-type special attacker. To my disappointment, the Contrary/Leaf Storm set doesn't work as well in an in-game setting as in the competitive metagame, but at least it is competently bulky and it can take down Trainers with multiple Pokémon just fine. And seriously, though, Serperior is just a sight to behold, so I don't mind seeing it in battle.

Rating: 5/5

#393 - #395: Piplup, Prinplup & Empoleon

With Piplup and Prinplup's better-than-thou attitude, I doubt
real love between the species is actually possible.

Of the Sinnoh starters, Piplup is hands down the cutest-looking. With the dark blue feathers on its head extending down its neck and around its head, our little superhero appears to be wearing some kind of cape. Don't let that fool you, though, because this feisty little thing has a strong sense of self-pride and has a hard time accepting food from humans and bonding with its caretakers. It will even puff up its chest without a care after it falls down, which it often does because of its poor walking abilities. This trait becomes even worse when Piplup evolves into Prinplup, whose sense of self-pride is so high that it can't even form groups of its own kind. It lives a solitary life instead, away from others, as every one of this Pokémon species believes it is the most important. Game Freak even goes as far as to incorporate variations of 'prince' in its domestic and foreign names, with its Japanese name Pottaishi (ポッタイシ) and Korean name Pengtaiza (팽태자) coming from kōtaishi and hwangtaeja, respectively, both meaning 'crown prince'. But eventually they're gonna be king or emporor of... well, what exactly? Prinplup live alone and their snobby attitude is the one solid reason not a one of this Pokémon will give in to others of its kind, so I'm actually curious how's that going to work out once they evolve into Empoleon. Let's find out, shall we?

Empoleon surfing on the water. 

Piplup and Prinplup's high special defense stats, influences of emperor penguins and their ability to survive in cold climates and icy waters due to their thick downs would make you think Empoleon is actually a water/ice type, but nothing could be further from the truth: Game Freak decided to go the unconventional route for once and made Empoleon the first and only water/steel-type Pokémon.

STEEL TYPE REPRESENT!!!

Ahem, I am fine...

Of course, most of the time it's pretty obviously visible whether a Pokémon is a steel type or not, and the fact that this is not the case with Empoleon probably makes me love it even more. Naturally, this Pokémon has the highest sense of self-pride in the entire evolutionary line and anything or anyone who were to damage it will be slashed viciously with its wings - which can easily cleave through an ice floe, in case you were wondering. Apparently, this Pokémon is able to live in groups just fine, but the Empoleon with the biggest horns is the leader. Sure, the one with the biggest something is always the goddamn leader, isn't it? Well, I doubt emperor penguins consciously think they're better than other people or things, so I think it's the 'emperor' part that makes Piplup, Prinplup and Empoleon think so highly of themselves. And there's one certain human being that has been the inspiration for that.

Okay, somebody made this and I think it's fantastic!

We've got to take a look at Empoleon's namesake Napoleon Bonaparte to understand why it and its pre-evolution are so prideful. Obviously, the majority of you don't need to be introduced to Napoleon, as you probably know exactly who he is, but I'm going to give you a brief summary of his personality nonetheless. As you're probably all aware of, Napoleon was a highly competent military strategist who achieved victory after victory at the start of the 19th century and declared himself the Emperor of the French and King of Italy in 1804 and 1805, respectively. He hated losing, however; he cheated at card games, refused to take inspiration from other great conquerors and was accused of winning battles because of sheer luck, the kind of rumors and criticism he quickly attempted to scotch. Winning so often heightened his sense of self-grandiosity, leaving himself even more certain of his destiny and invincibility. Until, of course, he was defeated in the Battle of Waterloo in 1815 - something ABBA wouldn't let France forget about - and exiled to the remote island of Saint Helena by the British shortly thereafter.

In short, he was pretty much someone who would easily have said, "Hurt my pride and pay the consequences, or keep quiet." Empoleon, my guy... I get you. It's not your fault Game Freak and Nintendo characterized you this way. Don't worry, I've got your back.

Empoleon just being plain badass. 

Of all the Sinnoh starters, Empoleon is by far the best Pokémon to use competitively. Its base 84 HP stat and 101 special defense stat provide it some awesome special bulk, making it an excellent special tank utilized for support. I'm basically saying that a moveset consisting of Stealth Rock, Defog, Scald and Roar is enough for Empoleon to work, as long as it is holding the Leftovers (or a kind of berry that weakens a common super-effective ground- or fighting-type move, such as the Shuca or Chople Berry) and has a Calm or Bold nature to increase one of its defenses. You'd think this should always be its special defense, but that stat is high enough as is and you could therefore breed for a Bold Empoleon to try equaling its defenses in battle and let it serve as an all-around tank. However, its best base stat is its special attack, at 111, and it could therefore wreck house as well. A Choice Specs set with a Modest nature and the moves Hydro Pump, Flash Cannon, Ice Beam and either Grass Knot or Signal Beam will more than suffice, although you could also swap the Choice Specs for a more reliable item such as a Life Orb or one of those berries I mentioned earlier. Don't bother giving Empoleon a Choice Scarf or anything, because it's got some lousy speed, anyway; for that matter, you might be better off giving it Agility, which is a set-up move that doubles its speed but doesn't lock Empoleon into a certain move. As for its ability... Well, Torrent is basically your only option, because its hidden ability Defiant raises its attack - which you're not gonna use if you're smart - every time one of its stats is reduced.

GIF of Empoleon from - I think - Pokkén Tournament.

I've always loved Empoleon, and I have to say this Pokémon may well have laid the basis for my current love of steel types. What makes it a steel type exactly is still a mystery to me, but I'm not complaining: I love steel types for their defensive qualities as much as their aethetics, and like many others of its type Empoleon has 10 resistances and an immunity. This Pokémon is powerful and possibly even a little too overpowered for a normal playthrough, but I've found myself choosing Piplup more often than Turtwig (and definitely Chimchar), just because I think its design is so amazing. Its Napoleonic aesthetics based on the emperor penguin are genius in itself, but the crest extending from its beak resembles the trident of Poseidon - the ancient Greek god of the sea - and is a nice little touch on a bird-like water type like Empoleon. I'm giving it no fewer than a perfect 5 stars, but by this time you really shouldn't be surprised anymore.

P.S.: I find it hilarious how the German name Impoleon contains the word 'imp' somehow. It's actually from Imperator - which means 'emperor' in German - but there's this urban myth going around about Napoleon that he was ridiculously small. At 5'02" he was a bit short for an officer at the time, sure, but about average height for French peasants.

Rating: 5/5

#390 - #392: Chimchar, Monferno & Infernape

TCG art of Chimchar.

Let me confess here: I have never even used Chimchar in a playthrough before in my life and I definitely don't intend to do so. It's not that I hate it or anything, because I don't, but the fire/fighting starter hype was already wearing off at the time Diamond and Pearl came out and we were ready to face some brand new starter type combinations. In that regard, Torterra and Empoleon didn't disappoint. So what is it about Chimchar that makes me go "meh"? Why, first and foremost it's based on a monkey, which is something that has been done before in a much more original or humorous manner. Granted, Ambipom was introduced in the same generation as Chimchar and its evolutions, but its design elaborated on its Gen. II pre-evolution Aipom's design, so let's not nitpick about that. Second, we would be really tired of fire/fighting starters by the time Black and White came around, and the fact that Emboar was exactly that probably didn't work in its predecessor's favor, either. And last but not least, I really do love the other two Sinnoh starters to death. They have such creative and original designs, and Infernape just... doesn't.

Monferno... digging a hole, I guess? It's probably using Dig or
something. 

Now, Chimchar is pretty cute in its own right and doesn't deserve hate whatsoever, but the red patch on its rear - a baboon trait, although Chimchar is known as the 'Chimp Pokémon' and is therefore more likely to have been inspired by chimpanzees - is usually obscured by flames produced by burning gas in its stomach, which basically means that its flaming tail is a constant fart that only weakens when it becomes ill or go out when it's asleep. That's disgusting, Game Freak. Other than that, Chimchar doesn't have much going for it; it is good at climbing rocky mountain ledges, which is pretty much a cop-out because almost all real-life monkeys are good at climbing, but aside from that there's literally nothing left to mention about it. Of course, there's Ash's Chimchar from the anime, but that's basically a retelling of Charmander's story: it gets abandoned by its previous Trainer and Ash decides to be a Good Samaritan and adopt the Chimchar in the following episode. Monferno isn't that much better, with much of its flavor revolving around its goddamn tail, of all things. It skillfully controls the intensity of the flame on its tail to keep opponents at an ideal distance, its tail can be stretched in order to make Monferno appear larger, or it tries to impress the others in the pack by relying on the size of its tail flame and the brightness of its facial marking. The bigger the flame and the brighter its marking, the higher Monferno's position in the pack.

Monferno giving Chimchar a... love letter?

Some of Monferno's traits confuse me a little, among which its classification as the 'Playful Pokémon'. Nothing in its flavor indicates it's playful and it sure doesn't look that way, either. I also don't get why its French name Chimpenfeu has a reference to chimpanzees in it and Chimchar's French name Ouisticram doesn't. I get that ouistiti is French for 'marmoset' - an umbrella term for 22 extraordinarily fluffy monkey species, most of which don't get any taller than roughly 8 inches tall - but even though Chimchar is the child stage of this evolutionary line, it isn't actually that small and it doesn't share any traits with any of these species, either. Bulbapedia says Monferno seems to be a direct impression of monkey kung fu, a Chinese martial art that utilizes ape- or monkey-like movements as part of its technique and may explain Monferno's fighting type, but as far as I know there's nothing in Monferno's stance or movements that indicates it is based on monkey kung fu, especially not when it comes to launching aerial attacks from walls and ceilings. That's just plain monkey business, if you ask me; if anything, Mankey's stance is more 'kung fu' than Monferno's. Lastly, Monferno's Bulbapedia page doesn't mention chimpanzees in its 'Origin' paragraph anymore, as opposed to Chimchar's, even though some of its foreign names clearly contain some kind of reference to this species. But that's probably none of my business, right?

Okay, then. Maybe I am just being too finicky about a goddamn middle-stage evolution, but there are too many things that seem to make sense but really don't quite fit in my opinion. Anyway, let's move on to Infernape, because there are quite a few things to say about it.

Infernape fist-bumping a Pansear. Somehow Chimchar and
Monferno seem to be threatened by it, or at least a bit jealous.

The first thing I notice is that this evolutionary line's French names seem to be all over the place; while Ouisticram and Chimpenfeu contain references to marmosets and chimpanzees, respectively, Simiabraz seems to take a more vague direction with 'simian', an adjective used to describe something relating to or resembling monkeys or apes. At least they don't go into detail which monkey they're referring to this time. What's more important, though, is its Japanese name Goukazaru (ゴウカザル), which is most likely linked to the Dragonball Z character of Son Goku - or Goku for short. It is the Japanese interpretation of Sun Wukong, one of the main characters in the Chinese 16th-century epic Journey to the West. This classical novel, one of the four to be considered the greatest in Chinese literature, is an extended account of the legendary pilgrimage of a Tang-dynasty Buddhist monk who traveled to Central Asia and India to obtain Buddhist sacred texts and returned after many trials and much suffering. I'm not going into too much detail about the contents of te whole story; all you need to know is that Sun Wukong is a monkey with powerful abilities (often fire-related) who was sent with the Buddhist monk to serve as his protector as an atonement for its own sins, together with three others. The gold markings on Infernape's body seem to be a direct reference to this Monkey King persona as well, as they resemble some of the markings on the Monkey King's attire in some depictions of it.

Infernape creating a ring of fire with its 

Infernape seems to be using a special kind of martial art involving all of its limbs, and you can be sure that ain't a lie: it has access to various punching and kicking moves, perhaps more than other Pokémon at the same time, and it learns Close Combat by level-up. The latter isn't necessarily exclusive to Infernape, but it fits its flavor quite well. It is also often a staple move in its various competitive movesets, along with other strong moves that provide it either STAB or neat type coverage: Fire Blast, Flare Blitz, Mach Punch, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Gunk Shot, Thunder Punch, Fire Punch, Iron Tail, Grass Knot, Poison Jab, U-Turn, Shadow Claw, Focus Blast, Overheat, Acrobatics, Flamethrower, Vacuum Wave, Brick Break and even Hidden Power if you're really short on options for a specific type. You may have noticed these moves are both physical- and special-based, and the reason for that is because Infernape is often used as a mixed attacker due to its equal 104 base offensive stats. That's why most Infernape have a Hasty or Naive nature, which both boost its speed but lower one of its defenses depending on which one you have. At a base 108 speed it is indeed quite quick, but its Pokédex entry in Pearl that states that "it is beaten by none in terms of quickness" is actually false; it is outsped by quite a lot of other Pokémon. That's fine as long as it has a speed-boosting nature and its offensive stats aren't negatively affected. Although... it has to be said that a Jolly nature fits well on a Swords Dance set and a Timid nature on a Nasty Plot set, the latter move only being available to it through Chimchar. What remain are the item Infernape should hold (which is mostly a Life Orb or Choice Scarf, or maybe a Choice Band) and the ability you should breed on it (Iron Fist if you taught it punching moves such as Mach Punch or Thunder Punch, and Blaze if you don't).

Smogon also mentions a physically defensive set for Infernape, which sounds more like one of these dumb movesets recommended by a certain PokéTuber who goes by the name of Verlisify. Don't ever use Infernape as a defensive support Pokémon, because it wasn't made for that purpose in the first place and there are many, many other Pokémon that can pull it off much, much better. It may suffer from four-moveslot syndrome, but that doesn't include support moves. No sir, not in the slightest.

I may not think Infernape is the greatest Pokémon of all, but this fan art is definitely
very nice. 

Infernape is more of a hit-and-run Pokémon in the competitive metagame, but it's a very powerful one at that. Unfortunately, that doesn't particularly make me like it. I can't help but feel it is a little bit too overdesigned: the red crest above its eyes should have the same primary orange color and there are a couple of gold markings too many. I don't know whether it's the pads on its knees, wrists or shoulders or the marking around its waist, but something feels out of place and makes the design a little bit too messy altogether. I understand what Game Freak were aiming at when designing this Pokémon, but I haven't quite... warmed up to it yet. Not as much as to Torterra and Empoleon, by any means.

Rating: 3.5/5

#387 - #389: Turtwig, Grotle & Torterra

Turtwig in a flowerpot. Isn't it adorable?

It's about time I started off with the Sinnoh starters, and Turtwig is the first one. While its name suggests it resembles a turtle - most likely the snapping turtle in appearance - it is probably based off of a tortoise more than anything, as will become evident by the type combination of its final evolution Torterra. You see, turtles spend most of their lives in the sea and tortoises tend to dwell on land, which is - just as a side note - why Blastoise's name isn't technically correct. Despite Turtwig's animal appearance it's actually some kind of vegetative Pokémon, carrying a shell on its back that hardens when it drinks water and a twig on its head that wilts if it becomes thirsty. It undertakes photosynthesis with its body, absorbing sunlight and making oxygen. In short, Turtwig's flavor text couldn't have been more generic, and it hardly becomes any better when it evolves into Grotle. Like most middle stages of starter Pokémon, Grotle looks a little awkward; with its hardened soil shell running over the entire length of its body, extending from its forehead to the tip of its short tail, it looks like it's majorly uncomfortable. It has two bushes growing on its shell, which are occasionally seen producing acorn-like nuts or berries that are greedily devoured by other Pokémon, and it has the ability to sense where pure water wells up and willingly carries other Pokémon on its back to these sources. Aside from the fact that it may be based on the minogame, a turtle in Japanese mythology that is said to live up to 10,000 years and is therefore seen as a symbol of longevity and felicity, I have to be honest and say that its origins aren't very inspiring. Sure, the minogame is often depicted with a train of seaweed/algae growing on its back and as a tail, but the reference is vague at best.

Great Torterra fan art that fully utilizes its shell's
ecosystem aspect.

Luckily, everything becomes a whole lot better when the grass-typed Grotle evolves into the grass/ground type Torterra. This Pokémon is a perfect example of commensalism, a class of relationship between two organisms where one organism benefits from the other without affecting it: Torterra's shell supports the lives of many small Pokémon that build their nests upon it and some are born and spend their entire life there. Aesthetically, Torterra seems to carry a giant tree and three triangular, stony protrusions resembling mountain peaks on top of its shell. Being known and classified as the 'Continent Pokémon', it really does look like it's carrying an entire continent on its back - or at least an entire ecosystem - and that is why it is probably based on the concept of the World Turtles in various mythologies carrying worlds upon their backs. The most prominent one is a popular rendition of a Hindu myth, in which the tortoise Akūpāra (Sanskrit: अकूपार) - or sometimes called Chukwa - supports the elephant Maha-pudma, which in turn supports the world. The first thing that came to mind when I was reading that was the humorous Discworld series by British author Terry Pratchett, in which a giant turtle called Great A'Tuin travels through the Discworld universe's space carrying four giant elephants on its back. The elephants in turn carry the flat, disc-like world of roughly 10,000 miles wide that earned the entire fantasy book series its name, which I'm sure was just an attempt to ridicule all those flat-earthers. In fact, a lot of myths, jokes and hoaxes such as drop bears, treacle mines, tooth fairies and suicidal lemmings seem to be the focus of the majority of the 41 (!) existing Discworld novels.

It doesn't work in Grotle's favor that the best image I could find from it is a still
from the anime series. I couldn't find any interesting or appropriate fan art at all. 

But while this whole World Turtle myth is a cool concept to base a Pokémon on and Terry Pratchett's Discworld series is fun to talk about, there are aspects of other things to be found in Torterra's design. Its stance is reminiscent of a certain armored dinosaur called the ankylosaur, just without the hammer-like tail tip; and while we're talking extinct animals anyway, it'd probably be safe to say Torterra may be inspired by the spiky-looking proganochelys quenstedti and meiolania turtles due to its large features and... well, spikes. Lastly, Torterra's name is most likely a combination of tortoise and terra (Latin for 'ground'), although it may also be a corruption of tōtara, a kind of tree endemic to New Zealand that bears a lot of similarities with the tree on Torterra's back.

Yo, this Torterra fan art is SO COOL!

Stat-wise, I can't say Torterra is the greatest fully evolved starter in the competitive scene. Sitting in one of the lowest Smogon tiers, its low speed and quadruple weakness to ice-type attacks makes it susceptible to being OHKOed quickly, but it gets a wonderful STAB Earthquake for that in return. Its solid all-around bulk and more-than-decent attack stat allow it to take a couple of hits and then strike back with powerful physical moves such as Earthquake, Wood Hammer, Seed Bomb, Crunch, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Superpower, Iron Head, Iron Tail and Outrage. And although you need to find the right time to set it up, it learns Stealth Rock for a bit of chip damage every time your opponents switches one Pokémon out for another. If you go the tank route, Stealth Rock and Synthesis are basically unmissable, as are the Leftovers; an offensive route mostly requires setting up with Curse, Swords Dance or Rock Polish, mostly in conjunction with a stat- or move-boosting held item such as a Life Orb or the Soft Sand. Or you could just slap a Choice Band and four offensive moves on Torterra and go all out, which works just as well. Make sure Torterra has an Adamant nature at all times to maximize the damage output, although a Careful or an Impish nature works just fine on a tanky Torterra.

Holy fucking cow, this is awesome!

Look at this!

And this!

While many depictions of Torterra somehow look savage or otherworldly, this
image is so... serene.

Torterra honestly has one of the most creative designs I have ever seen in Pokémon, and I am tempted to love it only because of that. But - and I have to say that it's a bit unfair towards the other Pokémon in the franchise - fan art plays a big part in my love for Torterra now. I never knew there were so many talented artists throwing their work on the Internet, but I'm glad they did. Torterra fan art is some of the best I've seen so far, and for the first time since Mew, I'm putting a couple of drawings directly underneath each other.

Well, it was GIFs in Mew's case, but y'know... details.

Not unimportantly, Torterra is the first and only grass/ground dual-type Pokémon, making it the only starter with STAB Earthquake aside from Swampert. And with Earthquake being one of the most popular moves in the entire game - not just in the competitive metagame, mind you - you shouldn't be surprised that I feel Turtwig has become the most popular Sinnoh starter. Grass may be kind of weak, both defensively and offensively, but Torterra's ground typing more than makes up for that in the end.

Gen. IV is a short generation, but we're starting off with a bang!

Rating: 5/5

#258 - #260: Mudkip, Marshtomp & Swampert

A part of the July 2014 issue of the Japanese manga magazine
CoroCoro Comic was made into a variation of an old Mudkip
meme. 

Goddamn, Mega Swampert is on steroids, I'm tellin' ya. Look at the motherfucker in the image on the right and tell me it's not swallowing anabolic substances. Mega Swampert looks like a bodybuilder whose muscles and veins are fit to burst, so it might be best for it to quit that synthetic crap. All jokes aside, though, the image on the right is an excerpt from the July 2014 issue of the Japanese manga magazine CoroCoro Comic, in which Mega Sceptile, Mega Diancie and Mega Swampert were revealed for Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. It was made into a variation of an old Mudkip meme called "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" (in correct English: "I heard you like Mudkip"), as Mudkip is Swampert's basic stage. The new phrase said, "I herd u liek MURDER", which was due to Mega Swampert's ridiculously bulky appearance. It didn't quite catch on, as the Mudkip meme had died off about two or three years previous, but at least it made me snigger a little. That's mainly because I knew the "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" meme existed, although I never quite understood it. Apparently it originated in 2005 with the DeviantArt group MudKipClub, an account founded as a place for users to share their love for Mudkip and its evolutions by submitting fan art of them. The owner of the community started posting the phrase "So I herd u like Mudkips" ('heard' probably unintentionally misspelled) on other users' comment walls as an invitation to join the MudKipClub community. The phrase catched on and other users started to post variations of it in comment sections on forums of sites like Fark and Reddit. The spelling of 'like' and 'Mudkips' - although it's more common for Pokémon names to stay the same in plural - slowly changed into 'liek' and 'Mudkipz', and by 2009 the latter two dominated as opposed to their 'original' spellings.

An adorable little Mudkip playing in the mud. 

It's curious that, of all Pokémon, Mudkip became a meme. I mean... it's cute and all, but if this "So I herd u liek Mudkipz" thing hadn't become a famous Internet meme, it would easily have been one of the most forgettable starter Pokémon. That's my opinion, anyway, and it's mostly based on the fact that Mudkip is supposed to be an axolotl, an animal that was already the inspiration for the design of Wooper. Mudkip does have some features that could resemble those of axolotls, but its classification as the 'Mud Fish Pokémon' might refer to gilled African lungfish. Additionally, its Japanese name Mizugorou (ミズゴロウ) contains the word mutsugorō and indicates - along with the English name of Mudkip - that this Pokémon is based on a mudskipper, while its German name Hydropi refers to the mudpuppy. It's unsurprising Mudkip keeps being compared to an axolotl though, as all above-mentioned critters have some of the features axolotls have as well. At least they're all a little slippery, I imagine. As far as Pokédex entries go, Mudkip can use the sensitive radar receptors on its headfin to determine changes in air and water currents and that's pretty much all there is to say about it.

Up: someone made a collage of Marshtomp's
disquieting Gen. VI sprite. Just what we needed,
right? Down: HELP, AN INVASION OF
MARSHTOMP! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Mudkip evolves into what is probably the most awkward middle stage of a starter Pokémon I have ever seen. Marshtomp looks both goofy and creepy, and for the most part I can attribute that to its unsettling eyes in combination with its wide mouth. Have you seen its frickin' Gen. VI sprite??? Swampert has the same eyes, but at least it looks a little more intimidating than Marshtomp, whereas the latter is supposed to be somewhat cute. Except it doesn't look cute to me, and I also don't like its design as a whole. As for its Pokédex entries, none actually stood out. Its has a thin, sticky film enveloping its body that enables it to live on land, but it likes to play in and moves faster through mud than actual water. It looks up mud pools when it becomes weak and dehydrated due to its skin drying out and wants to replenish its fluids. Eh. I'm sure mudskippers are called that way for a goddamn reason. Marshtomp's headfin does resemble a murmillo helmet, a helmet worn by a type of gladiator during the Roman Imperial age, and it might be evidence of Swampert's oncoming destructive abilities (note that Mudkip is already stronger than it looks, as it can smash rocks that are bigger than itself, and Mudkip is a mere 1'04"). Swampert, who can apparently be both bipedal and quadrupedal according to its game sprites, is where all the excitement is. Most of its Pokédex entries elaborate on what Mudkip's entries have told us, like Swampert's ability to sense the most subtle of changes and differences in the sounds of waves and tidal winds and its tremendous strength: it can move boulders weighing more than a ton, is capable of towing a gigantic ship while swimming, and propels through water faster than a jet ski. Swampert's vision is excellent, as it can see perfectly in even the murkiest bodies of water.

This piece of fan art perfectly demonstrates how badass
Swampert is.

Most of Swampert's flavor doesn't follow through in the games, though; it is quite slow, and Muddy Water still has terrible accuracy compared to Surf. Game Freak didn't lie about its power, though, as its base 110 attack stat is absolutely nothing to sneeze at. With base 100 HP and 90 defenses, it even has some considerable bulk behind it. which makes it more than viable as a Relaxed- or Impish-natured support Pokémon with moves like Stealth Rock, Roar and an attacking move or two rather than a powerhouse. Let it hold the Leftovers and it will endure the battle for quite some time. When you run a Careful or Sassy nature (both boost its special defense) you can run a Curse set, which allows Swampert to pump up its attack and defense and annihilate incoming foes. It becomes super fast as Mega Swampert, however, due to its excellent Swift Swim ability. If you set up the rain, this ability will activate and double Mega Swampert's speed stat, allowing it to sweep pretty much everything but grass types with its base 150 attack stat. All it needs is Rain Dance, Waterfall, Earthquake and Ice Punch, although it learns Hammer Arm, Rock Slide, Stone Edge, Aqua Tail, Iron Tail and Power-Up Punch if you need any these moves. This Rain Dance strategy doesn't explicitly require a Jolly nature, so you can max out its attack stat by slapping an Adamant nature on it. Take note of this, though: an Impish nature on a regular Swampert doesn't work if you want to use the special-based Scald as support, and due to its speed, an Adamant nature on a regular Swampert is more effective if you want to go the offensive way.

Instead of getting carried away about how awesome Swampert is, I'm giving you a
heap of adorable Mudkipsies, because "I herd u liek Mudkipz". 

Swampert is amazing. I never used it in the days of Ruby and Sapphire, but I have gotten a newfound love for this slimy badass - or, more specifically, its Mega - since I used it a couple of times in Omega Ruby and realized this thing is just as good as the other Hoenn starters. Hoenn is by far not my favorite region and the Hoenn Pokémon aren't really my favorite, but I have to say the starters of this region are the absolute best, no exceptions. This is the first - and only - generation in which I'm giving all of the starters perfect ratings, and I don't regret it.

Rating: 5/5