#550: Basculin

Official art of both Basculin forms, of course drawn by Ken
Sugimori.

I truly feel sorry for Basculin. It seems like this little fishie receives so much hate from everybody in the Pokémon community, and I honestly can't really blame those people. Basculin isn't overly strong, looks quite unremarkable, doesn't evolve into anything and was created as a last-minute addition to the Unova Pokédex when the developers realized there were very few new 'standard' fish Pokémon in Unova, as older Pokémon couldn't be caught until post-game. To make up for the small amount of fish in the region, Basculin was given two forms, but the problem most people have with this is that, in the end, the two forms don't differ all that much from each other to warrant the existence of both of them. The only differences between the Red-Striped and Blue-Striped Basculin are the color of their stripes and eyes and the shape of their fins; while it's fairly obvious which color both of the Basculin forms have, the Red-Striped Forme has round, red eyes and spiky fins and the Blue-Striped Form has blue, slit eyes and smooth fins. On the other hand, these two forms don't take up two separate spots in the Pokédex and do share the same Pokédex entries. Both Basculin are very and hostile and violent in general (when a school of Basculin appears in a lake, everything else except for Corphish and Crawdaunt disappears), but they appear to hate each other so much that they start fighting each other on sight, be it for territory or just for funsies. That's why their White, Y and Alpha Sapphire entries are so confusing; they state that sometimes members of one school of Basculin will mingle with the other's school, but if both forms get along so poorly, surely the members of the one school trying to blend in with the other will be recognized instantly and violently chased away. Right?

The Red-Striped Basculin in this piece of TCG art don't look all
that happy to see this lone Blue-Striped Basculin in their midst.

Fortunately, this angry striped bass is always nothing more than food to organisms stronger than itself, which is why the people in the Pokémon world know for a fact that this Pokémon is so incredibly delicious - one of the rare instances that hint at Pokémon being used for food. But while Basculin itself might be remarkably tasty, its stats are far from that. Its base 98 speed makes it pretty fast and its base 92 attack stat isn't all that terrible, but the base points that went into its special attack could've been put to better use if they had been distributed among its defenses. Basculin is kind of a pushover because it's so frail, even though it has access to a few amazing abilities. The hidden ability Mold Breaker may not be all that necessary on a Pokémon like Basculin, but both forms get Adaptability as their secondary ability, which gives an extra boost to all of their STAB moves and really helps making Waterfall and Aqua Jet hit much harder than they normally do on a water-type Pokémon. You could also opt for Rock Head, an ability that prevents recoil damage and only Blue-Striped Basculin has access to. Normal goes really well with water offensively, so a no-penalty Double-Edge really compliments a move like Waterfall or Liquidation, although Basculin also learns Crunch, Zen Headbutt, Superpower and Head Smash. Crunch is basically a must-have on Basculin, while Zen Headbutt, Superpower and Head Smash are merely optional; the latter is stronger than Double-Edge and gives Basculin some rock-type coverage, but it is also less accurate and deals more recoil damage than Double-Edge does. If you want to exchange durability for sheer power, I'd recommend a Red-Striped Basculin with the Reckless ability, anyway.

You might want to watch out with that, Iris; that thing can be pretty vicious.

Is it sensible to use Basculin in a competitive setting, though? You could go for a Life Orb or Waterium Z set with Adaptability and a Jolly nature, taking advantage of Basculin's strong STAB moves with a revenge-killer tactic involving Aqua Jet, but Basculin is merely a decent Pokémon to use in-game. Because, let's be honest here, Basculin isn't a terribly original Pokémon to begin with. The whole feud thing has been done before with Seviper and Zangoose, and that was executed much better through flavor and game mechanics than they did with Basculin. I actually like this thing a lot, because I used one in an Ultra Moon Wonderlocke and it served me well up until the raid on Aether Paradise, but even I have to admit that Game Freak's attempt to create another blood feud in the Pokémon world is just a bit lame: the two forms of Basculin just look too much alike to take it seriously. However, I do have to say that I've got a slight preference towards the Blue-Striped Forme, design-wise as well as mechanically.

P.S.: Is it me, or is it just weird that Basculin's English name and most of its foreign names contain something along the lines of 'masculine', 'macho' or 'manly'? I know it has a bold and volatile nature, but come the fuck on; by far not all men are aggressive or violent, and besides that, Basculin has a 50/50 gender ratio.

Rating: 4/5

#535 - #537: Tympole, Palpitoad & Seismitoad

The Machop and Poliwag families almost sit back to back in the Kanto Pokédex, with the Abra line spoiling the fun for them; in Unova we actually get to discuss Tympole, Palpitoad and Seismitoad right after we're done with the Timburr line.

Official art of Tymple, drawn by Ken Sugimori.

To be honest with you, I've always been a little underwhelmed by Tympole and its evolutions, as there doesn't seem to be anything that makes them distinctive enough from the Poliwag family to warrant their very existence. I mean, they even have the same color scheme! Sure, they have supersonic abilities, but I can name a few other Pokémon that have the exact same powers; and when it comes to Seismitoad's typing (water/ground), it is heavily outclassed by the likes of Swampert and Gastrodon, and perhaps even Quagsire. That is not to say that Tympole isn't interesting at all design-wise, as its face looks as flat as a drum, the half-spheres on the side of its head make it look like it's wearing headphones and its eyebrows look like little musical notes. The aforementioned 'headphones' - or 'loudspeakers', rather - are actually rhythmically vibrated by Tympole to create a sound so high-pitched that it is imperceptible to humans, in order to communicate with others of its kind and warn them of danger. They also look like a toad's 'warts' or poison glands, although Tympole's name and Pokédex entries point to them being based on a tympanum, an external hearing structure in animals such as mammals, birds, some reptiles, some amphibians and even some insects. In frogs and toads, the organ is large and oval-shaped and is visibly located behind the eye, while it is simply used to transmit sound waves to the inner parts of the amphibian's ear. Heck, I already said Tympole's face looks like a drum, so its name might very well be derived from big Italian percussion instruments called timpani - also known as kettledrums.

Honestly, Palpitoad is a weird-looking Pokémon in every way
possible: limbless, warty, kinda plump... not Game Freak's best
effort to date. 

Unfortunately, the musical theme is dropped when Tympole evolves into Palpitoad, and the only thing that Palpitoad does that Tympole doesn't is using its ability to vibrate to create giant waves when it's underwater or earthquakes when it's on land - even though it cannot learn Earthquake in any way, shape or form. Palpitoad is a ground type and therefore it's capable to live on land just fine, which means it is based on a toad rather than a frog, but like Poliwhirl it is still a water type - and yes, I do still hold on to my belief that Poliwhirl and Poliwrath are grown-ass frogs, not tadpoles. Also, the bumps on Palpitoad's back, its more toad-like appearance and its ability to create vibrations underwater are derivative of the common Suriname toad, an aquatic amphibian whose back is covered in pockets that hold its eggs - although strangely, Palpitoad's Japanese name Gamagaru (ガマガル) is a corruption of gamagaeru and suggests that it is based on the Japanese common toad instead. Hell, its German name Mebrana even includes rana, a genus of frogs, which is... ahem, NOT what Palpitoad is based on at all. Come the fuck on, Game Freak. You're not gonna tell me you can't be at least a little bit consistent, are you?

"Come at me, bro!"

But then there's big, bad Seismitoad, and I have to say it has grown on me quite a bit. It is good design-wise, at least as far as toads go, and characteristically it has found many more ways to make use of the 'warts' found all over its body. Seismitoad can make all of its lumps vibrate at will, obviously, but it uses this function to make tormenting sounds and catch opponents off guard (unironically, the two bumps right above its eyes may be based on the bells of a traditional alarm clock, an invention that has been tormenting people ever since it came into existence). Some lumps have specific capabilities: the ones on Seismitoad's head can be used to spray a paralyzing liquid - which in my opinion is simply masked language for some kind of poison - and the ones on its fists can be vibrated to give more power to its punches, allowing it to turn a big boulder into rubble within seconds. Seismitoad's punching ability can actually be really dangerous if not controlled, because its hands will vibrate with the resonant frequency of the object about to be hit (in physics, resonance is a phenomenon in which a vibrating system drives another system to oscillate with greater amplitude at specific frequencies), causing extra, devastating damage to said object. Buildings can sway or collapse entirely, while for living creatures it could cause internal organ damage to the extent of possibly rupturing them. Sounds quite lethal, doesn't it?

Seismitoad being protective of its young.

Yeah, well, the problem with that is that Seismitoad isn't very good at punching things when it comes to competitive. Focus Punch is generally not recommended on any Pokémon and Ice Punch should be used on a Pokémon with more offensive presence (Mega Swampert, anyone?), which leaves Drain Punch as the only viable option for Seismitoad to use. And even then Seismitoad can be put to better use by giving it a support moveset of some sort, which should consist of Scald, Stealth Rock and the classic Toxic/Protect combo - or perhaps you could ditch Protect and give it Knock Off instead, so you can get rid of opposing Pokémon's held items. Combine this moveset with the Leftovers, the ability Water Absorb and a Bold nature (lowers its physical attack, but even though that stat is ten base points higher than its special attack, its only offensive move - which is Scald - is special-based), and you'll have a tanky water/ground type that isn't that easy to take down. And yes, alright, Seismitoad's defensive stats aren't very good in and of themselves, but its excellent HP more than makes up for that. There is one offensive set that could actually work, though: a Swift Swim set with a Life Orb and a Modest nature. Swift Swim doubles Seismitoad's average speed when it's raining on the battlefield, so if you somehow manage to let another teammate set up the rain for Seismitoad, you've got a very decent sweeper on your hands. There are exactly four good special moves of different types that Seismitoad can learn, too: Hydro Pump, Earth Power, Focus Blast and Sludge Wave, although you could opt to slap Surf on Seismitoad for more accuracy (100%, against the 80% of Hydro Pump). Seismitoad has access to a lot more physical moves than special moves, so a physical moveset is possible, but keep in mind that Seismitoad cannot learn a single physical-based water-type move, which kind of defeats the purpose of a rain set in the first place.

Seismitoad and its little babies.

I like Seismitoad. It may look hideous, but toads aren't pretty creatures to begin with and Game Freak can't make all Pokémon look aesthetically pleasing. This Pokémon is fine for what it is. Technically, there was no need for it, especially since all other water/ground dual-type Pokémon (Quagsire, Swampert, Whiscash and Gastrodon) serve as bulky support Pokémon, but it is obvious that Game Freak were aiming for at last some Kanto rip-offs during the production of Black and White. This time I'll forgive them for being such lazy asses, because if anything, Seismitoad is just a well-designed Pokémon. The only thing that could have been different aesthetically is Seismitoad's color palette, which should have been green/brown - or something along those lines - to make it at least a little bit more distinctive from Poliwrath design-wise. Then again, if that had been the case, people probably would have thought that it was a Politoed rip-off or something.

Rating: 4/5

#515 - #516: Panpour & Simipour

I could've been done with this review already if I hadn't decided to post my top 7 favorite Pokémon generations instead. Let's get this over with, shall we?

See no evil.

Panpour follows the same pattern as Pansage and Pansear in the sense that it is based on the same concept of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil", a Japanese proverb used to describe people that turn a blind eye - as well as a closed mouth and a deaf ear, while we're at it - to things that are considered even slightly inappropriate. Panpour and its evolution Simipour represent the 'see no evil' part of this proverb, which is kind of obvious considering they're continuously depicted with closed eyes. However, Simipour also continues the premise that the evolved forms of the elemental monkeys are based on Japanese delinquents and failed their assigned roles as wise monkeys. While Simisage's design contains aspects of the yankii culture and Simisear's is based on bōsōzoku, Simipour derives certain elements of its design from 'kogal', the anglicized form of kogyaru, which involves school girls wearing an outfit based on their uniform - only with shortened skirts, loose socks, dyed hair and a ton of make-up. Kogyaru are assumed to care only about their looks (hence why Simipour failed to see no evil) and are considered vain and shallow, while the modern school girls' uniform has come to be percived as the dress code for promiscuity, easiness, greed and stupidity. Lastly, Simipour's chest fur resembles a volcano - much like the fur on Simisear's shoulders resembles smoke or steam and its entire design indicates that it is based on an active volcano - and may have possibly been based on geysers, the froth of a gushing waterfall, subaqueous volcanoes and cryovolcanoes, the latter of which erupts volatiles such as water, ammonia or methane instead of molten rock.

Unfortunately, Panpour and Simipour's flavor text doesn't seem to be all that exciting: Panpour's only mention that its geyser-shaped tuft contains water that is full of nutrients, while Simipour's mention that it replenishes its tuft by siphoning up water with its tail, which can shoot powerful pressurized blasts of water that can demolish a concrete wall.

3D art of Simipour.

Also, when you look at the foreign names of the elemental monkeys, Game Freak don't seem to be able to settle on which monkey these Pokémon are based on. Their Japanese names keep it fairly general and just contain the words 'ape' and 'monkey', but the French names of the basic forms - being Pansage, Pansear and Panpour - all contain the word sapajou ('capuchin monkey'), while their evolutions are apparently based on orangutans. The German names of the pre-evos are derived from Makak, which means 'macaque', the type of monkey that the wise monkeys from the Japanese proverb are usually depicted as. The prefix pan- from their English names is based on the genus name for chimpanzees, however, which the German names for the fully evolved forms seem to back: Cheeta, sometimes billed as Chita, is a chimp character who appeared in numerous Tarzan movies from the 1930s to the 1960s as the ape sidekick of Tarzan himself. This whole name origin thing is thoroughly confusing, and I wish Game Freak had paid a little more attention when naming the elemental monkeys. It is literally not that difficult to have them based on the one and the same kind of monkey/ape, especially since they don't look like hybrids in the first place.

Despite being fully evolved, these elemental monkeys don't seem
to have matured much. 

The only thing left to discuss is Simipours competitive viability, and I have to say that... well, its as bad as its contemporaries. As water is a great offensive typing mainly specializing in special moves, I wouldn't even recommend using Simipour as a physical attacker; I'd go with Scald, Focus Blast, Ice Beam and Nasty Plot instead. Perhaps you could get rid of the unreliable Focus Blast and give it Grass Knot or Substitute, but that's about it, basically. A physical set is possible, as Simipour learns Aqua Tail and Waterfall - as well as quite a few coverage moves such as Crunch, Brick Break, Throat Chop, Gunk Shot, Rock Slide, Ice Punch, Acrobatics, Superpower, Knock Off and Iron Tail - and hits hard whenever it's holding a Choice Band, but a special set is generally better because Ice Beam is considered one of the best coverage moves in the game and Scald has a chance to burn the foe. Of course, you should give it a Timid nature rather than a Jolly nature when going with a special set, but that's a given by now. Simipour should be holding a Life Orb at all times (remember: the Choice Specs don't work in combination with Nasty Plot), as this item has proved to be more than effective in the competitive scene... but personally, I wouldn't waste it on any of the elemental monkeys. I'd give it to a more useful water-type Pokémon; there are plenty of them to be found in the games, anyway.

Panpour (left), Pansage (middle) and Pansear (right), holding what seem to be
little figurines or dolls of themselves. I'm including this because I think it's cute.

That doesn't mean you can't use Simisage, Simisear or Simipour in a playthrough, however. I've used them all at least once, and they're fast and strong and get the job done perfectly. Design-wise, Simisage is my favorite and Simisear my least favorite, so I'll rank Simipour somwhere in the middle. All of the elemental monkeys have something charming about them, and I really don't understand why so many people seem to despise them. Unova is great, y'all.

Rating: 4/5

#501 - #503: Oshawott, Dewott & Samurott

Ash's Oshawott throwing its scalchop down in anger, only to pick
it up immediately afterwards because it is worried it might have
damaged its beloved weapon. 

Oh, how an initially unpopular Pokémon has come to be an outright fan favorite. When Oshawott was first released, Pokémon fans were fast to nickname it 'Wotter', but I can't say they were particularly charmed by its design. It wasn't until the anime that the fans started to like this thing, and only because of Ash's Oshawott's outgoing (and oftentimes even inconsiderate) personality. While it could be cute at times, Ash's Oshawott had a propensity for being dramatic whenever things went wrong or didn't go its way, and it acted proud and boastful - not unlike Dawn's Piplup, with whom it had a transitory rivalry. Oshawott's antics greatly entertained the Pokémon fans and it quickly grew to be a fan favorite during the Best Wishes! series, which is widely regarded as a disappointing anime generation. Then there's Oshawott's scalchop, a shell that is used as a weapon when Razor Shell is executed and is made of the same material as claws and fingernails (keratin), growing back whenever it happens to get destroyed. Ash's Oshawott even panicked whenever it lost its scalchop, was happy when he found out that it hadn't done any major damage to it after throwing it down in anger, and got angry whenever it got stolen by another Pokémon.

Ash's Oshawott was... easily infatuated. This GIF shows Oshawott and Dawn's
Piplup falling in love with the same Pokémon.

Piplup and Oshawott's rivalry continues as Piplup attempts to best Oshawott
in getting Meloetta's attention.

But eventually, Piplup and Oshawott realize they care deeply for each other as
they say a teary-eyed goodbye. 

The scalchop also plays a big part in the whole samurai theme that this evolution line has going for them, as it holds similarities with Japanese war fans, which were often used by samurai for defensive purposes. Moreover, the fans weren't wrong calling Oshawott 'Wotter', because sea otters were definitely the inspiration for this Pokémon, as is indicated by its English name as well as its German name Ottaro and its Korean and Mandarin Chinese names. Incidentally, Oshawott's Japanese name Mijumaru (ミジュマル) may refer to an otter named Mijbil, the subject of an autobiographical novel and movie called Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell, about his life in a remote house in coastal Scotland where he kept several wild otters as pets.

One of the surprisingly few pieces of fan art I could find of Dewott.

When it comes to Oshawott's evolutions, Dewott (probably from the name Helen DeWitt, author of The Last Samurai) isn't that much different apart from having two scalchops instead of one, complete with honest-to-goodness samurai gear. Dewott uses its scalchops more intensively than Oshawott, using its double-scalchop technique through rigid training in order to accomplish fluid swordsmanship, although techniques differ from one Dewott to another. This fighting style is reminiscent to tessenjutsu, a martial art involving Japanese war fans that could make people so skilled that they were able to defend themselves against attackers with swords and even kill opponents with a single blow. The skilled wielder could even use it to fence and fend off knives and poisoned darts thrown at them. While Dewott probably doesn't possess such a level of skill, it is probably skilled enough for its evolution Samurott to suddenly wield whole-ass swords called seamitars. Now resembling truly armored samurai or shōgun, the war fan aesthetic is translocated from its pre-evolution's scalchops to its own goddamn tail, while the helmet-like shell over its head appears to be based on murex trapa - or the rare-spined murex shell. Samurott looks old and wise yet intimidating, and it actually is intimidating: in the time it takes for a foe to blink, Samurott can draw and sheathe the seamitars attached to its front legs, and one swing of its seamitar can fell an opponent. One simple glare or howl from Samurott quiets everybody.

Oshawott falling for Buneary, who shows more interest in Ash's Pikachu instead.

Isn't it adorable? I swear, The Pokémon Company have struck gold with
Oshawott's personality.

Oshawott, what the fuck are you doing? You can't even learn Belly Drum...

While still reminiscent to the giant otter, Samurott now looks more like a sea lion of some sort. In an interview, Ken Sugimori said that Oshawott and its evolutions were the hardest for the team to design during production, as conceptualizing its evolutions was difficult. The sea lion show during a trip to an aquarium inspired them to incorporate elements of sea lions in Samurott's design, hence why it looks so unlike its pre-evolutions. I just wish we had a different name for Samurott in English, because its French and German names of Clamiral and Admurai obviously refer to 'admiral' and its Japanese name Daikenki (ダイケンキ) is the complete on'yomi reading* of the word daikenki, which means literally 'big sword-wielding demon' in Chinese. I would have loved such a name for Samurott in English, too, but alas...

*(Sino-Japanese vocabulary - or kango - refers to that portion of the Japanese vocabulary that originated in Chinese or has been created from elements borrowed from Chinese, and on'yomi is the modern descendant of the Japanese approximation of the base Chinese pronunciation of a character at the time it was introduced.)

Badass TCG promotional art of Samurott.

Competitively, Samurott is... not very good, unfortunately. It has good HP, workable attacking stats, okay defense and mediocre special defense and speed, which doesn't make it a very versatile Pokémon: it cannot take special hits very well and it doesn't really outspeed many Pokémon in the metagame, either. You could fix that last problem with a Choice Scarf, but that means you won't be able to run a Swords Dance set. With base 100 attack and 108 special attack, Samurott doesn't really excel at anything in particular; despite its slightly higher special attack stat, its special movepool is incredibly lacking, with access to only STAB moves and Ice Beam - and Grass Knot, if that's your style. With access to Swords Dance - a move that raises its attack stat by two stages every time it is used - and a considerable amount of physical moves, a physical set is heavily recommended. The newly required Liquidation is definitely a must-have on a Swords Dance set, while Samurott has access to some nifty coverage moves like Sacred Sword (as of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon), Megahorn, Smart Strike, Iron Tail, Night Slash and Knock Off. Priority in Aqua Jet wouldn't be terrible to have on it, either, especially since Samurott isn't very fast in the first place. Now that I mention its speed, I'd recommend a Jolly nature to maximize its speed stat; you can just use a Life Orb for a bit more oomph behind its attacks instead of giving it an Adamant nature. Finally, Samurott's hidden ability Shell Armor prevents it from receiving critical hits, but maybe you'll want to go with its regular ability Torrent instead, which boosts its water-type moves when it is at or below one third of its health.

When in battle, Samurott can stand on its hind legs and use one of the blades
from its anterior legs as a sword to fight. 

The ultimate question is, 'Do I really want to use Samurott in a competitive setting?' Smogon also mentions a special set with Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, Grass Knot and either Aqua Jet or Taunt, but it's oftentimes not even fast enough to use Taunt and prevent opposing Pokémon from setting up on it, especially if it has any other nature than Timid. Samurott is an excellent Pokémon to use in a playthrough due to its well-roundedness, but it actually isn't that good in competitive. There are plenty of Pokémon that can do what Samurott can, and the abundance of water-type Pokémon in the games won't leave you dissatisfied in finding a better physical-based water type (right off the bat I think of starters like Feraligatr, Swampert and even Greninja, who are all miles better than Samurott when it comes to their physical utility).

Ash's Tepig (later Pignite) and Oshawott didn't get along very well...

Dafuq are you laughing at, Oshawott? As if you don't look ridiculous in that
Sewaddle collar...

I really do love Samurott's design and flavor. I was happy to use it multiple times throughout any Black/White/Black 2/White 2 playthrough, especially since I got sick of fire/fighting starters by the time Black and White were released, and I have to say it didn't disappoint at all: it was moderately bulky (AI Pokémon are stupid and aren't properly trained, so Samurott was sure to live a couple of hits as long as they weren't super-effective) and it did its job excellently once it had access to Swords Dance. So, as I did with some other Pokémon, I'm giving Samurott a perfect rating purely for its aesthetic qualities.

Rating: 5/5

#489 - #490: Phione & Manaphy

Cute little Manaphy frolicking around in the water.

Manaphy used to be one of those Pokémon you could only get through a fairly ridiculous method prior to being distributed through online events regularly along with a whole bunch of other mythical Pokémon. In the fourth generation, however, a special egg containing Manaphy had to be inserted into some stupid Pokémon Ranger game by code before it could be transferred to Diamond or Pearl. In fact, you had to struggle your way through some unnecessary story first, in which a character called Murph picks up the Manaphy egg that had washed ashore on a beach and brings it to Professor Hastings, only for some villains to steal it. The player character is then required to retrieve it safely from the villains, after which Hastings reveals that the egg can only hatch if it is given to 'a Trainer in a faraway region', which is quite a roundabout way to say that the egg will only hatch if you transfer it to Diamond or Pearl. (Not sure if Platinum was in on the joke as well, but I can't see it being left out, being a carbon copy of Diamond and Pearl and all.) Aside from playing a minor role in quite a few Pokémon games, Manaphy had its own movie in Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea, in which it was first seen as an egg being stolen by Pokémon Ranger Jackie from a villain named Phantom. Phantom needs Manaphy in order to find the Sea Crown kept in Samiya, an underwater temple created by the People of the Water, but Ash and his friends arrive just in time to ruin his day and manage to keep Phantom from stealing back the egg again. Ultimately, a chase ensues and after performing some dangerous acrobatics in order to keep the egg from falling on the ground multiple times, the egg hatches in May's hands. May and Manaphy bond - much like Misty and Togepi did way back when - and Ash and his friends help the mythical Pokémon to find its home base Samiya.

Manaphy (left) and Phione (right).

The whole egg-hatching thing doesn't make any sense to me in the first place, because if you let Manaphy breed with a Ditto, you'll actually be able to obtain eggs containing Phione. You'd think that Pokémon is Manaphy's pre-evolution then, but nothing could be any further from the truth: Phione is Phione and will always stay a Phione no matter what, which means you'll forever be stuck with what is basically a weaker version of Manaphy, as all of its stats are a base 80 across the board compared to Manaphy's base 100 stats. It's a mystery to me as to why Phione exists in the first place, but I guess Game Freak had to fill up a vacant spot in the National Pokédex or something. As such, Phione's status as a mythical Pokémon is often disputed, with several pieces off evidence and even official statements contradicting each other, but I'm leaning towards the 'no' camp. Admittedly, strategy guides and handbooks have - somewhat inconsistently - listed Phione as a mythical Pokémon simply for being Manaphy's offspring; people seeking Phione on the Global Trade System will not be displayed if the player chooses to exclude people seeking mythical or legendary Pokémon; Phione is banned from most online competitions and online battles; and it is not needed to obtain certain in-game certifications for completing a regional or the National Pokédex, a trait otherwise exclusive to mythical Pokémon. At the end of the day, though, there is one thing that makes me question Phione's status as a mythical Pokémon: it is far too easy to obtain once you actually possess a Manaphy, and you could potentially end up with a hundred Phione coming from one Manaphy and a Ditto. Also, Phione is significantly weaker than other mythical Pokémon, lacking at least 90 base points in its base stat total to even just be considered a legendary Pokémon.

Mommy Ditto and Daddy Manaphy taking care of their young. Aren't they the most
adorable family you have ever seen? 

It's not that I hate Phione or its design or anything; I just can't see the use of a Pokémon like this if it can't evolve anyway and doesn't give a single fuck about making itself at least somewhat distinctive from its parent Pokémon. Both Phione and Manaphy are based on sea angels, a large group of small, transparent-looking swimming sea slugs often known as clione, which is a misleading term because the family clionidae is just one of the six families within this clade. As Phione's name suggests, this Pokémon is definitely based on clione, and it is entirely possible that Manaphy continues this trend despite there being no evidence for this 'theory' in its name. Clione are remarkably popular in Japan for some reason, especially in Hokkaido, the area that Sinnoh is based on, so it shouldn't be a surprise that Manaphy and its useless kin showed up in the fourth generation.

Phione and Manaphy's Pokédex entries are also pretty much the same, as Manaphy's state it will swim great distances to return to the cold seafloor on which it was born and Phione's mention a similar activity: it inflates the flotation sac on its head to languidly drift in warm seas and search for food, which it does in packs (another indication that there are more Phione than Manaphy), but it will always return to its birth place no matter how far it drifts away. While Manaphy is born with a wondrous power that lets it bond with any kind of Pokémon and is easily affected by its environment as 80% of its body consists of water, there is absolutely nothing more to say about Phione, which only makes me wish that Game Freak hadn't created this thing in the first place.

Manaphy playing with Pikachu. How kawaii is this???

Luckily we still have Manaphy to fall back on for competitive purposes. As it has base 100 stats across the board and a fantastic set-up move in Tail Glow, Manaphy is a force to be reckoned with in Smogon's OU tier, as it can boost its special attack to incredible levels and absolutely annihilate everything in its path while still having some natural bulk behind it. After just one Tail Glow, which raises its special attack by a whopping three stages, Manaphy can just use a STAB move like Surf or Scald and do massive damage, although it has access to some amazing coverage moves like Ice Beam, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Energy Ball, Signal Beam and Dazzling Gleam. There are so many good options to choose from, in fact, that it significantly suffers from four-moveslot syndrome. As Manaphy's special attack is going to be raised drastically anyway, you might want to give it a Timid nature and the Leftovers as a hold item, although a Life Orb or a Waterium Z are splendid options as well. Just make sure to steer away from Choice items, as they make Tail Glow ineffective all of a sudden. As for its ability, Manaphy only has Hydration, which will cure it of any non-volatile status conditions (burn, sleep, freeze, paralysis and poison) when it is raining. It's the reason why people often run Rain Dance on it, but I think that's a waste of Manaphy's potential and only worsens its four-moveslot syndrome, so I guess it's better just to let another one of your Pokémon set up the rain for it.

Happiny, what the actual fuck are you doing with that Manaphy egg? Step the hell
away from it; you ain't worthy to take care of that thing.

Although Tail Glow Manaphy is incredibly overpowered, there is one Pokémon that benefits from it even more than Manaphy does: Xurkitree. With a base 173 special attack stat, just one Tail Glow boost would be absolutely destructive. Still, Manaphy is very much worth your time and it can be an asset to any competitive team with some investment in finding a competitively viable one. I am mainly a collector and I don't really care all that much about the competitive scene (even though I can sometimes have a blast on Pokémon Showdown), but at least I know how viable it can be. This thing isn't one of my favorite Pokémon by any means, but I acknowledge its cuteness, strength and popularity and therefore I am giving it 4 stars.

P.S.: Did you know the Manaphy egg is actually based on a real-life sea creature? Pokémon eggs are normally beige with green spots, but Manaphy's is a transparent blue with a red core and a ring of yellowish spots above it. These traits give it resemblances to turritopsis dohrnii, also called the immortal jellyfish, which is found in the Mediterranean Sea and in the waters of Japan. The more you know...

Rating: 4/5

#484: Palkia

Even though Palkia may look a bit weird and awkward (to me),
there is quite a bit of fun fan art to be found of it. This artist
actually made Palkia a bit less weird, if only because it seems it
can move its arms more freely and because its design looks
more streamlined.

While Dialga looks as if it's about to fuck you up, Palkia could easily be Groudon's awkward cousin. Now, Dialga is a big, heavy steel-type sauropod and you wouldn't think it has a lot of space to move freely, but in some way Palkia looks way more stiff and robotic than its Diamond counterpart. The two big plates on its shoulder area, each encrusted with a pink pearl, are too round and feel out of place design-wise; its awkward little arms/hands seem to be anatomically connected to its shoulder plates, and judging from its official art it doesn't look like Palkia can move them up; its feet and nails are big and inelegant and stand in contrast to its tiny arms; and its elongated neck and the fins on its back give it fish-like properties. Considering Palkia's water typing that shouldn't be entirely surprising, but there is nothing in its lore or flavor that mention its affiliation with water and those features just make it look all the less menacing for a box legendary. It's like Ken Sugimori decided to randomly put a mishmash of features on the Pearl legendary and called it a day. Not his best day, I'd dare say. Dialga actually looks like it makes sense type- and design-wise, but Palkia...? Ehhh, not so much. That is not to say I hate or dislike Palkia, because it honestly still looks like a big-ass dragon and it has a power I wish I had, but I can't help but to think Game Freak could have put a little bit more effort into it instead of going with such a jumbled design.

Palkia and Dialga in a special LEGEND card
belonging to the Triumphant expansion of the
HeartGold and SoulSilver TCG series. These
are actually two separate cards.

Like I said, Palkia has a power I would kill for and it uses it with finesse. You see, it has the ability to warp space and create alternate realities - a concept we've gotten more familiar with in Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, but not due to Palkia. However, it lives in a different dimension itself and as a result its behavioral patterns are nearly impossible to study. Using its signature move Spacial Rend, it can rip through the very space an enemy resides in and damage it in the process. While it is known for its violent conflicts with Dialga, I'm sure Dialga will live a Spacial Rend due to its steel typing making it neutral to dragon-type attacks and blow Palkia out of the water with only one Roar of Time. On top of that, sauropods tended to be bigger and stronger than theropods, so that's another advantage Dialga has over Palkia, especially when you consider that Bulbapedia suggests the latter is based on a couple of smaller theropods - most likely the oviraptor. That critter had a couple of features that fit Palkia quite well, including a flashy mohawk cut. Furthermore, Palkia could be based on the liquid state of matter - hence its water typing - and while I think it's a solid theory, there are a few problems I have with it that I already discussed in Dialga's review. Folklorically, though, its origins most likely lay in the Shintō myth of Izanami and Izanagi - the respective goddess and god of both creation and death - who are said to have created one island with a spear, erected a pillar on it in order to mate and from there created the islands of Japan. That is probably why you face Cyrus and encounter the box legendary on a site called Spear Pillar, on top of Mt. Coronet. Not the most logical place to encounter a water type, but I digress. Last but not least, its name is simply derived from the Japanese spelling of pearl, pāru.

Palkia... about to screw things over? I don't know man, Palkia just doesn't look
threatening enough.

As for its competitive use, Palkia has a base stat total of 680 and it is therefore banned to Smogon's Uber tier. It has similar stats to Dialga, with only slight changes in its speed and HP as well as its defense and special defense being reversed. Like Dialga, Palkia has base 150 special attack and benefits from having access to STAB moves such as Spacial Rend, Dragon Pulse and Surf as well as coverage moves like Power Gem, Earth Power, Aura Sphere, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, Focus Blast and Thunderbolt. Those moves are basically the same as Dialga's, with the exception of Focus Blast and their respective signature and non-dragon STAB moves. Just slap on the best moves you can find and you'll be good.

Palkia is interesting enough as a legendary and I have to say that I don't harbor a hatred or dislike for this Pokémon, but its cluttered design is a huge drawback in giving it a rating of 4 stars or higher. Flavor-wise there is nothing wrong with Palkia, but I have to say that it is definitely one of my least favorite legendaries so far because I just can't fully get behind its design.

Rating: 4/5

#479: Rotom

No, you didn't miss anything; between Abomasnow and Rotom there's a large batch of Gen. IV evolutions of Pokémon introduced in previous generations, and I've already reviewed them accordingly. All the better, because the huge gap in the National Pokédex makes me feel I have made some progress at least, ha ha ha.

Regular Rotom surrounded by its five alternate forms. Clockwise
starting from the top left: Frost Rotom, Fan Rotom, Wash Rotom,
Mow Rotom and Heat Rotom.

Anyway, as I've mentioned before, today's Pokémon is a curious little critter called Rotom. It is unique in the fact that it is the only electric/ghost dual-type Pokémon and the only Pokémon to have its type changed into a type that wasn't newly introduced. Introduced in Diamond and Pearl as a Pokémon with the ability of possessing several household appliances, Rotom can change its appearance in order to correspond with the design of the appliance it possesses from Platinum onwards, and for in-game purposes this means it has no fewer than six different forms. The default form is its regular electric/ghost-type form that resembles a lightning rod; the others are a microwave oven, a washing machine, a lawnmower, a refrigerator and an electric fan. These alternate forms didn't have a different type than regular Rotom when they were first introduced to us in Platinum, but this all changed in Gen. V: Heat Rotom became electric/fire, Wash Rotom electric/water, Mow Rotom electric/grass, Frost Rotom electric/ice (even though it's a refrigerator and not a freezer, it must have a built-in freezer unit), and Fan Rotom electric/flying. This opened the path for brand new competitive strategies, as a few of these type combinations are extraordinarily useful in the competitive metagame, especially when you consider all forms come with the ability Levitate and thus aren't weak to ground-type moves due to their being part electric - although this ability is quite redundant on Fan Rotom due to its flying type making it immune to ground in the first place. But I'll talk some more about Rotom's competitive utility later on in this review.

An amazing drawing of all Rotom forms gathered together. Even
the electrical auras of the different forms look different; Wash
Rotom's looks like a clothespin, Heat Rotom's is reminiscent of
oven mitts, Mow Rotom's resembles splintered wood, Frost
Rotom's bears resemblances to lightning bolts, and Fan Rotom's
look like wind currents. 

First off, how is Rotom able to enter and control these electronic devices in the first place? Well, it has a body of plasma with a whitish aura of electricity around it that forms lightning bolt-shaped appendages, and it appears to be based on uproarious and disrupting ghoul-like creatures called poltergeists. While poltergeists are generally believed to be responsible for physical disturbances such making loud noises, moving objects around (by levitation, if necessary) and sometimes even possessing certain objects, folkloric creatures called gremlins are more notorious for causing malfunctions in aircraft and other machinery. I want to believe poltergeists are the actual inspiration for Rotom here, as indicated by its specific ability to possess home appliances and the fact that ball lightning, an unexplained atmospheric electrical phenomenon involving luminous spherical objects bouncing about, might often cause the spooky movement of objects blamed on poltergeists. Also, poltergeists tend to wander about in urban/suburban areas and cause disturbances in the homes of middle-class families when depicted in popular media - or maybe I have that idea because I watched the 1982 supernatural horror film Poltergeist a couple of times, although the same could be said about the 1984 movie Gremlins. In any case, you first encounter Rotom in a creepy old mansion called the Old Chateau, inside of a defective TV, of all things. Go figure.

Official artwork of the Rotom Pokédex. The right image demonstrates how the
device actually works.

However, while Rotom is a mischievous creature and takes over electronic devices in order to play practical jokes on people, causing all sorts of problems, scientists continue to conduct research on this Pokémon because they think it could be the power source of a unique motor (Rotom is 'motor' spelled backwards, probably a reference to the fact that motors make many appliances function while Rotom makes them fail). While this specific Pokédex entry appeared in HeartGold and SoulSilver first, Game Freak surprised us three generations later by introducing the first ever Pokédex inhabited by a Pokémon: Rotom! Positioned on the lower screen of your 3DS, the Rotom Pokédex gives you unwanted advice, asks you stupid questions, rambles on about nothing in particular and sometimes makes lame-ass jokes, but also helps you out in sticky situations by granting you another chance to perform a Z-Move, gathers and stores data of all Pokémon found in Alola and shows you the way by almost continuously displaying a map of the region on its screen. It is kind of a double-edged sword, as the Rotom Pokédex can get pretty annoying at times, but I like its cheeky personality and the features it provides.

Holy shit, think about it: your Pokédex is a living, sentient being that talks to you and helps you out on your journey to becoming a Pokémon Master. Pokémon is getting more awesome every day, I swear.

Rotom having fun with a microwave oven. 

We now know what Rotom is based on and what this Pokémon encompasses, but I said I would talk about its competitive prowess; and to tell you the truth, its regular form isn't anything worth mentioning. Although the encounter music that is played when encountering Rotom in Gen. IV is the same music used with legendary encounters, its stats are all but legendary. I urge you to find the place wher you can change Rotom into one of its other five forms and do just that, because its 'measly' 440 base stat total will rise notably, exchanging a little bit of speed for significantly more bulk and slightly more offensive presence. Heat and Wash Rotom are the most popular forms to use in the competitive metagame, which isn't surprising, as fire is one of the best offensive types in the game and Heat Rotom's otherwise terrible quadruple weakness is nullified by Levitate, while Wash Rotom has literally only one weakness (also due to Levitate) and is therefore a great defensive asset to any team. Frost and Mow Rotom don't really have that defensive presence, and Fan Rotom doesn't have a STAB move that is strong enough - Heat, Wash, Mow and Frost Rotom get Overheat, Hydro Pump, Leaf Storm and Blizzard, respectively, while Fan Rotom will have to do with the much weaker Air Slash.

Looks like Rotom is having some fun in what looks like a
control room.

As for complete sets for some of these Rotom forms, I am not going into detail for all of them, especially not Fan Rotom. For Wash Rotom, however, I would definitely recommend a defensive set consisting of Hydro Pump, Volt Switch, Will-O-Wisp and Defog, to cripple physical threats and remove entry hazards. Pain Split is often used for some recovery, although it is not always a very reliable way to restore HP; an Iapapa Berry or Sitrus Berry will do the trick more effectively. More options are Substitute, Rest and Sleep Talk, as well as the Letovers as a very solid hold item and a Bold or Calm nature to boost one of its defenses. It's your call whether you want to make it physically or specially bulky. You could actually go the same way with Heat Rotom and be just fine, although an offensive moveset might do more in this case because of Heat Rotom's amazing offensive typing: a Timid or Modest nature lets it be slightly faster or specially offensive, respectively, while a Firium Z (the fire-type Z-Crystal) can change its Overheat attack to an insanely strong Inferno Overdrive. Choice Specs aren't bad either, and might even be more reliable in the long run, as a moveset consisting of Overheat, Volt Switch, Thunderbolt and either Shadow Ball or some type of Hidden Power doesn't seem all that strong in the first place and a Choice Specs might just be the item Heat Rotom needs to give its moves a little bit more oomph.

Frost and Mow Rotom aren't used as frequently as Heat and Wash Rotom, but ice and grass are pretty good offensive types, which mean you could slap the Choice Specs or an Icium Z on it (Grassium Z in Mow Rotom's case), but I reckon you should just use the Rotom of your preference. I mean, my favorite form is Mow Rotom and that's not a popular one at all - I even think it's the second least favorite form behind Fan Rotom among Pokémon fans. I don't know if it's its typing or its maniacal grin that is putting people off, but that's exactly what I like about it in the first place.

All of the Rotom forms doing what they can do best.

One more curious thing about Rotom's origins is that Bulbapedia suggests that this Pokémon is based on the main character from the 1994 Sega game Pulseman, on which Ken Sugimori (responsible for all of the Pokémon's official artwork), Satoshi Tajiri (the creator of Pokémon) and Junichi Masuda (director, producer and composer for many Pokémon games) all worked on. Aside from the spike on Pulseman's head and the fact that it was designed by Ken Sugimori, I really don't see the resemblance with Rotom. However, Pulseman is half human, half AI and I guess his subsequent power to channel electricity through his body and use it as both a weapon and a means of quick transport might be reminiscent of Rotom's ability to permeate household appliances as well as it being made up of plasma and electricity. There's a whole list of references to Pulseman in the Pokémon games, but I personally think it's a little bit of a stretch to compare the two franchises, even though the same people worked on both of them (honestly, Pulseman isn't even a franchise, just a stand-alone game).

Rotom is without a doubt one of the most unique, creative and popular Pokémon Game Freak have ever created. It's a fan favorite for a reason: there are a lot of Pokémon that are based on contemporary animals, extinct creatures, mythical entities and/or inanimate objects, but a poltergeist able to take control of electronic devices must be one Game Freak's most genius inventions. Aside from that, Rotom is pretty viable in the competitive scene, so I'm sure that contributes to its popularity as well. I have to say that Rotom is not one of my personal top favorites, but I still think it's damn worthy of a 5-star rating from me!

Rating: 5/5

#456 - #457: Finneon & Lumineon

You'd think I have nothing better to do on the 31st of December, posting a review about fictive fluorescent fishies and all, but trust me when I say I'll be done reviewing these Pokémon in no time at all.

Better watch out, Finneon, before some nasty-ass Wingull grabs
you out of the sky mid-flight. 

People often forget Finneon and Lumineon exist, and I have to say I was one of those people until Finneon surprisingly showed up in pretty much every body of water in Pokémon Sun and Moon, which was... more annoying than encountering Magikarp all the time. Even as Lumineon this Pokémon is bad, and there are only a couple of redeeming factors to be found in competitive: its average bulk - base 69 HP, 76 defense and 86 special defense - may allow it to take a few hits, while its access to Defog makes it one of the choices for a hazard remover, but in the end it is hopelessly outclassed by even Pelipper (oh God, I cannot believe I just said that; I hate that thing with a fucking passion). The latter somehow got Drizzle as one of its abilities, which makes it competently viable in one of the highest Smogon tiers, while Lumineon has to resort to Toxic, Scald and U-Turn alongside Defog to be somewhat useful and still doesn't hold its own in the lowest tier. I mean, you can't use a Pokémon from a high tier in a low tier, while the reverse is most definitely possible, but why would you use Lumineon if there are a ton of water types to choose from that are better than Lumineon? Sure, it is immune to water-type moves due to its ability Storm Drain, but so are - just to name a few good ones - Lanturn, Gastrodon, Politoed, Poliwrath, Jellicent, Seismitoad, Lapras and Vaporeon.

Lumineon in TCG.

So, does Finneon and Lumineon's flavor make them more interesting to some degree? Well, um... sorta? Because of Finneon's butterfly-like tail fins, it is believed to be derived from the freshwater butterflyfish, but the purple stripe running across Finneon's horizontal length as well as its ability to let its stripe and the patterns on its tail fins shine vividly in the darkness like neon after long exposure to sunlight suggest it is actually based on the neon tetra and the cardinal tetra. These two freshwater fish have a bright blue stripe running across its length, just like Finneon, and their bright colorations make them visible to conspecifics in the dark blackwater streams of the Orinoco. Because Finneon was included in the Alola Pokédex, it also received some unique Pokédex entries: its Moon entry proclaims that its double fin tails propel its energetic jumps and that Wingull swoop down to grab it on the fly when it breaks the surface of the water (even Lumineon's pre-evolution gets owned by Pelipper's pre-evolution; I kinda sense a pattern here), while its Ultra Sun entry mentions that holiday resorts like to feed them to keep them close because they're popular with divers.

Finneon's evolution Lumineon is just better in using its bioluminescence, luring prey by flashing the patterns on its fins and usually getting into fierce disputes with Lanturn for said prey. As everyone will remember, Lanturn is an electric-type Pokémon, so that's another Pokémon that easily owns Lumineon. Unfortunately for Lumineon, the bad luck doesn't stop there: its iridescent appearance and the luminous flashes it emits also attract ferocious fish Pokémon, its natural predators, and crawling along the seafloor like a tripod fish using the fins on your chest in order to avoid your predators surely won't work if they sense you from miles away. Well, at least scavenging the seabed for your favorite food (Starmie, for whomever wants to know) makes it all worth it, right?

Finneon (right) and Lumineon (left) showing off their bioluminescent abilities.

Well, Game Freak undeniably tried to make Lumineon a pretty fish, and in that regard I can safely say, "Mission accomplished!" If only they had made Lumineon somewhat more competitively viable, it would have been a very decent Pokémon. Now, it isn't even a good Pokémon to use in-game, as it is relatively frail compared to other bulky Pokémon and doesn't really pack a punch, either. I mean, base 69 offensive stats are nothing to write home about and will only leave you wishing for something better. Its design isn't bad at all, but I think it could have been a bit more colorful; its primarily dark blue color makes it a little bland for a tropical fish and I wish Game Freak had retained some of Finneon's purple patterns. I'm kind of on the fence about this guy's rating, but I ultimately like it less than certain other fish Pokémon and I can't see myself coming back to it all that often, if at all. It gets a safe 3-star rating, but I won't go any higher in the near future.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Rating: 3/5