The Archers Sunday 20th November 2011: Stir-up Sunday

(with the Grundys rather than the Archers)

• You can’t even use the kids as an excuse
• It’s Eddie and Clarrie’s 30th tomorrow
• Stir-Up Sunday with the Grundys
• Tony thinks Pat is mad

You can’t even use the kids as an excuse

Lynda really has thought of a way to kibosh every possible excuse anyone could give for not going to Christmas around the World.

Will was caught out.

[Will] “There didn’t seem to be much in it for the kids”

[Lynda] “I know, which is why … I recognised rather later in the day that my original concept was somewhat lacking in appeal so I’ve had a radical rethink, and I think you’ll find this version infinitely to your … taste … quite literal.ly, because it’s going to be a feast … of food …interspersed with morsels of entertainment”

Will seemed to perk up at the sound of food. Especially as it’s the lovely Ian who will be cooking it.

Later, Lynda corners Pat and Tony to ask them for cheese (at cost, not free).

But – December 28th might clash with Will’s stag night.

Aw. That would be a shame.


It’s Eddie and Clarrie’s 30th tomorrow

And they’re off round The Bull.

But – they don’t know that Nic and Will have plans for them …


Stir-Up Sunday with the Grundys

Stir-up Sunday has generally been an Archer thing.

But I suppose we’re being tuned into eavesdrop on the Grundys as the Archer’s is now about our last memory of Phil.

So, we get to hear Clarrie, Nic, Mia, Jake and George (to a background of Jingle Bell Rocks).

But it’s all new to Nic.

[Nic] “Didn’t you say it was something to do with the church?”

[Jake] “Do they have Christmas pudding in the bible?”

[Clarrie] “No darling, it’s just the collect for this Sunday, ‘Stir up, we beseech thee, O Lord, the wills of thy faithful people’ … then some children go hold of it, so Jill told me … ‘stir up, we beseech thee, the pudding in the pot, and when we get home we’ll eat the lot’ ”

This then started the kids on Shepherds washing their sock by night …

[Mia] “why didn’t their mummy put them in the washing machine?”

Tony thinks Pat is mad

Pat is still being distant with Tony.

He thinks it’s about the rebranding. Pat is just about to tell him, but Lynda interrupts while on her Christmas around the World mission to get local produce.

Later on:

[Pat] “It’s something Susan said … you know Kylie came to Ivy’s funeral … she stayed with Susan … she told me Kylie has a brother, Sharon’s son, and he's 13, which means he was born in 1998”

[Tony] “So?”

[Pat] “Oh Tony! Think about it. What if … I think he might be John’s son”

[Tony] “What? John’s Son? No, that’s impossible … surely this boy is her husband’s child”

[Pat] “Look at the dates”

[Tony] “This madness. Please Pat”

As Pat explains, Hayley spilt up with John just before Christmas 1997, because she caught John and Sharon In flagrante delicto.

Tony maintains that it can’t be so. Sharon was at John’s funeral in March, and she didn’t look  pregnant. He reckons Sharon would have said something.

[Pat] “We didn’t exactly open her with open arms. It’s perfectly possible”

[Tony] “Many things are possible but it’s highly unlikely. I really don't think you should pursue it any further. It’s bound to end in disappointment.”

[Pat] “John could have a son!”

[Tony] “I just don’t think you should revisit all that. John’s death. Well, what it did to you”

[Pat] “This isn't about John’s death.”

[Tony] “It’s about John, isn’t it, you so want it to be true. Oh Pat, for your own piece of mind, let it go”

Difficult one.

Pat is basing a lot on nothing – and Tony is quite right that this could drag her back into being depressed.

But, if there’s even a slight chance, surely they should at least ask?

Or, should they keep quiet, considering Sharon hasn’t thought to tell them anything herself?

The Archers Tuesday 30th August 2011: Mia goes walkabout

• Woken up by Robbie Williams and Harry Mason
• A job is a job
• The Shiny Shop lures Mia
• Joe’s birthday plans
• Seems James and Leonie won’t be welcomed back to Ambridge
• Spencer’s sun glasses haven’t been the same since to go carting
• Dubrovnik

Woken up by Robbie Williams and Harry Mason

At 2am.

Poor Jazzer.

Harry was making a mixed tape (or was it CD? Not sure anyone makes mixed tapes anymore as most folks are not likely to have something to play on. What is a shame, I reckon. A tape is far more tactile)

Jazzer has to do the milk round tomorrow, but Harry doesn’t. Harry didn’t think, but also reckons it fair do as Jazzer often plays his music early hours as well.

[Jazzer] “I play decent music, bit Robbie flipping Williams!”

Oh dear. The Odd Couple look like they’re heading for divorce.

Jazzer is later complaining to Pip and Spencer.

[Jazzer] “Life in the flat has become hell on earth. I thought Harry was alright, bit pernickety maybe, I got used to his funny ways, but since he got off with Zofia, I don’t know the man naemare”

(all together now – I’ve grown accustomed to his face …)

They reckon Zofia’s right enough to be spending all this time at Jazzer and Harry’s flat – after all, the alternative is her shared caravan with all the other girls.

But, Jazzer reckons she’s always in the bathroom, and she hands her underwear out to dry in there …

[Jazzer] “Time when I was really keen to see it, but no like this. It’s torture, I’m telling ya!”

And what’s more - Jazzer can’t use the living room as them cuddling puts him off his larger.

Aw. Poor Jazzer.


A job is a job

Jennifer may have been horrified at the thought of Alice going for the cleaning job (as advertised on a card in the village shop), but Clarrie would have been glad of it. But she was too late. The job had gone.

Nic suggests Clarrie put a card up saying she wants work. Clarrie seems quite interested in that.

Is it just me, or is Clarrie sounding more positive?


The Shiny Shop lures Mia

Mia, Jake, Nic and Clarrie are off to town (on a rather noisy train) to go shopping.

The kids need stuff for school.

[Mia] “Can we go to the shiny shop?”

[Jake] “No, it’s girly”

But Nic says yes – it’s Mia’s favourite, and it’s just an accessory shop. Clarrie reckons she can get Rosie something for her 60th there (Rosie Mabbot, Clarrie’s sister), but doesn’t reckon it’d do for Joe’s upcoming 90th birthday.

[Clarrie] “I can’t see him going for a pair of sparkly earrings”

[Nic] “Or deeply boppers”

Clarrie’s feeling bad as she can’t afford to spend much on presents – which she’s unhappy about especially as it’s special birthdays. And not to worry about Joe – Jim and Bert have special plans.

Anyway – Clarrie finds a wallet for Joe in a shop. She and Nic are chatting away, then also chat with Harry when he comes in.

Then.

Nic notices that Mia’s not there anymore …

Clarrie stays wonderfully calm – Nic panics – so Clarrie gets Nic to stay put in that shop with Jake, while she and Harry head off to try and find Mia.

It’s a tense few moments – Jake was worried Mia ran away as he was nasty to her – and Nic gets increasingly hysterical – but all’s well in the end.

Clarrie finds her as Nic is having a nervous breakdown. Mia has gone back to the shiny shop. Seemingly:

[Clarrie] “A nice little assistant saw her come in by herself and was keeping an eye on her”

I’d say ‘phew’ if this all hadn’t happened quite quickly. Not quite suspense – more of a blink and you’ll miss the high drama …


Joe’s birthday plans

Jim and Bert are sorting a Special meeting of the cider club. They’ll be decorating the shed, Eddie will break out the “good stuff” and Clarrie will do bread cheese.

Sounds marvellous. Spot on for Joe, I reckon. Especially as it will:

[Clarrie] “Let Joe hold court a bit, you know how he likes to do that”

Seems James and Leonie won’t be welcomed back to Ambridge

Jim and Bert are seemingly still very unamused by their behaviour. They were still “moaning” about it while they were telling Clarrie their plans for Joe’s birthday,

[Clarrie] “I don’t think they’re being too clever bout it … I don’t think they was going about it diplomatic”

I hope the residents manage to chase the odious James and Leonie away.

But, knowing how thick skinned they are, I doubt they’ll notice – even if the pitchforks come out …


Spencer’s sun glasses haven’t been the same since to go carting

I really don’t know what to say about (or make of) that.


Dubrovnik

Pip and Spencer offer to tell Jazzer about their holiday plans.

[Jazzer] “Anything to take my mind off Ambridge’s Posh n Becks”

When they tell him they’re off to Dubrovnik – and explain it’s in Croatia:

[Jazzer] “You’re joking? Is there no a war on there?”

On being told no – that it ended a while ago:

[Jazzer] “ … history was never ,my string point, I’m more a biology man”

*snort*!

Although Dubrovnik has pebble beaches rather than sandy, it’s hot and NOT in the euro – so it’s of much cheapness.

It also doesn’t have Spencer’s brother Steve (who is unhappily working the family farm, though has also started signing on. Ha!).

[Jazzer] “Just one thing … Can ah come tae?”

Oh dear.

We didn’t get to hear Pip and Spencer’s response, but Jazzer must really be desperate if he wants to spend time with those two. Love’s young dream, and also quite sensible – not Jazzer’s style at all.

The Archers Wednesday 24th August 2011: Nic doesn’t really like Emma

• But Mia doesn’t even have a cold
• Will and Nic’s happy time together continues
• Clarrie gets on her bike
• Cornwall and Hunting
• Emma’s an irritant

But Mia doesn’t even have a cold

Emma’s said to Nic that she wants Mia to stay away from Keira, as she reckons Mia has a cold.

Nic is definitely not amused.

Mia isn’t ill, so Emma is just being a witch (with a b).

Will and Nic’s happy time together continues

And still Nic and Will are having a nice time together.

Nic’s even planning trips away together, without the kids.

Wedding bells soon enough, surely?

Clarrie gets on her bike

Norman Tebbit would be proud …

Nic’s suggested Clarrie to try at Lower Loxley for a job.

Which Clarrie tries to do, but doesn’t manage. She goes to see Elizabeth, but can only ask for a cardigan Mia left there than a job. I suppose it didn’t help that Jennifer was also there (and Mia hadn’t actually left a cardigan anyhoo).

Clarrie’s odd behaviour also twigged Jennifer onto that there’s something also odd about Susan keeping her job while Clarrie lost hers.

It’ll only be time until the whole of Ambridge knows …

Will also suggested to Clarrie that she tries Grey Gables (she reckons not) – but actually, Clarrie does seem to perk up a bit when she hears that Environmental Heath isn’t going to prosecute Bridge Farm.

Though Will’s ideas that she might now get her job back isn’t exactly realistic …

Cornwall and Hunting

Elizabeth and the kids are off to Cornwall for a holiday.

And seems Freddie wants to hunt properly next season, after spending more and more time on horseback.

[Elizabeth] “He sounded just like Nigel”

I did always find it odd that Nigel hunted. It didn’t seem to fit his gentle, soppy nature.

Same can be said for Freddie. But then again, blue blood will out …

Emma’s an irritant

[Nic] “It’s just really annoying when she says these things, you know. If I say anything, it makes me seem really touchy and stroppy, but if I don’t, it makes it seem like she’s won some sort of point”

[Will] “She tries to lord it over you because she’s the mother of both the mum and dad’s grandchildren, she’s got no right …”

[Nic] “Forget it ...Clarrie’s not taken in by her, and I can handle it”

In a fight between Emma and Nic - my money is on Nic ...

The Archers Wednesday 3rd August 2011: Rhys’ flat warming party

• Trifle and paddling
• Who is the mystery fisherman?
• Fallon has lemon juice in her eye
• “We’re not going to warm my flat, we’re going to burn it down!”
• Harry only has eyes for Zofia
• Nic finds it easy to talk to Alice
• Ambridge jungle drums
• Jazzer realises Fallon likes Harry

Trifle and paddling

Will, Nic and the kids have a perfect day out next to the river.

[Will] “Well, it don’t get much more perfect than this. I could stay here forever”

But then – big scream from Mia.

Oh No!

What could the matter be?

Oh.

Really?

Just a crayfish (one assumes Mia saw in the river).

Which George wants to play with.


Who is the mystery fisherman?

The crayfish who did so terribly scare Mia is not of the native sort – so really shouldn’t be released back. Our native crayfish chaps are being decimated by large, American interlopers.

And of course, Will get to thinking that this could be the source of Kenton’s new found supply of crayfish for The Bull (you think???).

Will reckons that the trap Mia found the crayfish in was an amateur one, so whoever is ‘fishing’ them is doing so without a licence.

He’s all ready to blow the whistle (especially as it’s on Brian’s land), but Nic begs him not to. After all, she has to work at The Bull.

Ah, tis a fishy tale that’s being woven …


Fallon has lemon juice in her eye

And that’s even the drinking games at Rhys’ start.

In fact, she’s still at work in The Bull. And she doesn’t want to do the drinking games later on anyway.

[Rhys] “Oh don’t be such a girl”

Eh?

Isn’t that exactly what Fallon is?


“We’re not going to warm my flat, we’re going to burn it down!”

Party on, dude.

(ahem)


Harry only has eyes for Zofia

And keeps nipping away from Rhys and Jazzer, while they’re trying to playa drinking game at Rhys’ party, to hasten to Zofia's side. When he isn’t with Zofia, he becomes a bit distracted:

[Jazzer] “Jings, I reckon Zofia has made you deaf as well as stupid”

(Jings? I haven’t heard that uttered since Oor Wullie or The Broons)

[Jazzer] “I preferred it when it was just Harry and his pictures of men in lycra”

[Rhys] “You serious? A bit bi-curious, is he?”

Fallon clarifies that it’s a Tour de France [poster, but Jazzer reckons “case closed”.

[Rhys] “He seems pretty keen on women to me. Maybe he’ll let her play with his bicycle pump …”

Nic finds it easy to talk to Alice

Which she’s surprised about.

[Nic] “Always been a bit intimidated by those pony club girls”

Ambridge jungle drums

Nathan Booth told Fallon, who has now told Will, that bridge Farm’s dairy is open again.

So Will will now tell Eddie, who till tell Clarrie, who’ll be really upset to have not been told by Pat.

Jazzer realises Fallon likes Harry

The only took him 8 months to catch on!

Fallon’s moping that Harry is with Zofia. And also moping in general about her love life … well, lack of it.

[Fallon] “We’re cupid’s cast offs Jazzer … I’m sleeping on my own tonight. As usual”

Surprisingly, Jazzer doesn’t try it on.

He instead opts for Rhys’ sofa. Which is seemingly better than having to hear Harry and Zofia at it.

The Archers Sunday 17th July 2011: Keira’s christening

• At least the little one looks like a goat
• What is it with sausages?
• Can Will stay well clear?
• Alf is a no-show
• Jack will be 92
• Keira runs late for her own christening
• “why is that man wearing a nightie?”
• Neil gets all moral
• Ambridge won at cricket
• George got flashing shoes, but fell into a rose bush
• The Thwaites have a great spider

At least the little one looks like a goat

[Will] “I finally worked out how to do legs”

[Nic] “Yeah, the little one really looks like a goat … I always thought the big one looked more like …well … a wildebeest … it’s the sort of … erm … hefty shoulders”

[Will] “Well it is the big billy goat gruff. It needs to be hefty if it’s to put the troll into the river”

[Nic] “Oh, of course, silly me”

[George, on seeing the troll and three goats scarecrow] “Wicked! …I like the little one. He really looks like a goat”

Never mind, Will. Even if they don’t all look like it, at least you have two more than Ed.

Ed later finds out about Will doing all three goats. He’s not a happy chappy.

But at least Clarrie is speaking sense.

[Clarrie] “Couldn’t you think of something different?”

What is it with sausages?

George is persuaded to go to Keira’s christening through the promises of sausages.

Considering there seemed to be a bit of a bun fight about who was going to get to make the sausages (Nic won) – what’s the big passions for sausages?

Sausage shortage in Ambridge?

Where’s Tom???



Can Will stay well clear?

Will is worried about what Emma will be like at the christening (yes Will – we all know what Emma can be like!), but Nic is more worried about Will and Ed.

Will promises to stay well clear.

Possible?


Alf is a no-show

Humph.

Not a surprise, really. Thought this might happen – as it did with Clive Horrobin.

What a tease!

Seemingly he’s not well enough to travel. (aye, right then)

Clarrie’s quite happy. Seemingly Alf is quite a picky eater.

He even turned his nose up at her steak and kidney pie once.

Blimey.


Jack will be 92

On Tuesday.

Jamie will be 16 on Wednesday.


Keira runs late for her own christening

As she filled her nappy.

That’s her social calendar not off to a very auspicious start.


“why is that man wearing a nightie?”

Mia’s in full flow – right during Keira’s christening.

[Mia] “Mummy. Why’s that man wearing a nightie?”

[Will] “It’s a surplice … all vicars wear them”

[Mia] “It’s a nightie!”

Nic apologies to Alan for Mia interrupting the service (he doesn’t mind – he’s used to it), and also to Emma. Who was a complete bitch back to Nic.

[Emma] “Upstaging Keira like that … old enough, I’d have thought, to understand she can’t always be the centre of attention”

Meow.



Neil gets all moral

[Neil] “It’s the wrong way round … getting married first … doesn’t that worry you?”

[Alan] “I’m always thrilled to welcome a little child into the church …”

[Neil] “Well the fact is, Emma, well, she had a go at marriage and it ended in tears, so …"

Oh.

Is Neil really upset that Emma and Ed has brought forth child without getting married first?

But there’s always a silver lining.

[Neil, on Emma being a mum] “I’m so pleased she’s finally found something she’s good at … I always thought she’d have a career, but she never really settled to anything”

Ambridge won at cricket

Again! Hurrah!

That the Ambridge team was mainly made up of “old men and boys” (due to harvest) makes the win even better – even though Waterly Cross also had the same problem.

Well, a win is a win.



George got flashing shoes, but fell into a rose bush

Never mind wee man. Life can be like that.


The Thwaites have a great spider

As they’re doing Little Miss Muffet for their scarecrow.

The Archers Sun 20th Feb 2011: Kenton upsets Jolene

• Susan’s front page news
• Lynda’s still going on, and on, and on …
• Ian Craig to do THE wedding?
• Brian’s off to Paris
• Kenton’s being a twerp
• Eddie’s a Bonnie Tyler fan
• Ruined packet of crisps
• Poor Jolene

Susan’s front page news

Susan is on the front page of The Echo – as she was near Camilla when the picture was taken.

Seemingly Clarrie isn’t happy about it. She can’t be seen.

To be exact, she can’t be seen because Susan is waving her Union Jack flag over Clarrie’s face.

Ah Clarrie. Will your light ever be let out from that bushel?



Lynda’s still going on, and on, and on …

Now Lynda reckons that Camilla gave a hoot that her bicycle chain had come off, while she was alone, in the dark, on a country lane. She’s seemingly not saying:

[Jennifer] “How affected by her plight (Camilla) was”

[Jolene] “I’m not so sure about that Jennifer. She just gave her a wave”

Quite right Jolene.

In fact, Camilla saw that Lynda was in distress, and just drove on.

Hardly the beginnings of a deep and meaningful relationship.


Ian Craig to do THE wedding?

(and I will admit that I had to go and do a bit of research to get the notion out of my mind that they were talking about Andrew and Fergie … my how time has marched on without me noticing)

Probably not. I’d have thought they’d chose their chef based on more than just some decent shortbread.

However, I wouldn’t put it by Camilla to soon launch a new range of Duchy …


Brian’s off to Paris

With Matt and Lilian.

That wasn’t Brian’s plan. It did sound like he was up to something, after all the effort he want to in persuading Jennifer that it’d be pointless her tagging alone.

My money was on him asking Ruth to accompany him but, let’s face it, I don’t think Brian would actually have been that fussy.

Anyhoo – he’s got no chance to dally with Lilian and Matt also on the trip. In fact, he can’t even relax in his room without Lilian stalking him (though to be fair, he did say he’d be down to dinner).

[Brian] “How to matt and Lilian manage to stick their beaks into everything?”

Just to keep annoying you, Brian …


Kenton’s being a twerp

After his chat with Kirsty yesterday, Kenton seems to have decided that the best way for him to deal with Jolene is to avoid and ignore.

He refuses a coffee.

Then cancels their night out at a gig, by telephone, during which he hung up very abruptly, before Jolene could say goodbye.

That’s simply spot on Kenton. Good job indeed. You have feelings for Jolene, you think that’s wrong, so – of course – the best thing to do is to be an arse to Jolene, and make her feel like crap.

That’s just what she needs – and is certainly what Matt wants …

Nice one Kenton. You’re a true friend indeed (!)


Eddie’s a Bonnie Tyler fan

Who’d have thunk it?

Nic’s decided that she and Will need to sort something out for Eddie’s impending 60th birthday, rather than assuming Clarrie will sort it.

[Nic] “Why does it always have to be up to her. Why can’t we do something … be nice if we could do the organising for a change”

Will agrees with Nic, and later comes up with the idea that Eddie would love a night at the races.

They even reckon that they could give Eddie money to gamble with, rather than giving him presents. Which Will is glad about, as he was running out of ideas:

[Will] “I can’t get him another Bonnie Tyler CD”

I’m off to ponder this new information that Eddie is a Bonnie Tyler fan …


Ruined packet of crisps

That Jake and Mia can’t be trusted with a prawn cocktail packet of crisps.

They ended up ruining them by spilling them all over the floor as they fought over them.

But all’s well. There was another box of them our back.

Phew!



Poor Jolene

She’s not a daft one, is our Jolene.

Kenton suddenly blowing cold is all too obvious to Jolene – and she’s annoyed with herself for being so upset that Kenton’s cancelled their night out at the gig.

Trying to tell herself that it doesn’t matter, Nic catches her muttering away to herself.

[Nic] “I won't tell anyone, except myself”

(nice touch Nic).

So maybe Jolene also liked Kenton – maybe she didn’t, and is just gutted that a friend can treat her so badly.

Either way – Kenton, you are a twerp!

The Archers 1st September 2010: Environmental Health

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The Archers: Back to school … Will takes the kids to the pub … Helen gets a visit from Environmental Health

• When Harry met Nic
• When Will met Harry
• How do the wheels on the bus go?
• “Had pictured everything perfect ... it might not be”
• Was Tom Terrified?

Harry and Nic?

Now that might too obvious a thing to say after last night, but I had been wondering what the point of Harry was.

Seemingly good lucky, very friendly and adored by all who meet him.

And we’ve also found out that he helps his sister Patsy out with her child Jasper (as she’s a single mum).

Is there no end to his good deeds?

He seemed to be getting on well with Nic when they met dropping off their respective small people at school.

And Harry did seem keen to see if Nic was working that night at The Bull.

“How lucky I am to have found Will!”

Not even the slightest, Nic.

Though I really wouldn’t like to have to tell him that to his face.


When Will met Harry

Will is becoming a bigger worry every time he speaks.

After Nic mentioned that she might do more hours at The Bull again (with the kids back at school), he (of course) has to turn up at her shift to make sure any male attention is firmly deflected.

He has her in a house isolated away from neighbours, managed to get her to drop some shifts at The Bull be claiming he was too busy to look after the kids, and now turns up with the kids to sit at the bar.

Is it just me, or is this situation heading into a classic case of domestic abuse? He hasn’t hit her (as far as we know), but he’s certainly controlling her every move.

After his attempt to stop her working at The Bull failed when the kids went back to school, Will is now telling Nic that he’s worried she “won’t have time to yourself” and that he “don’t want you to get tired”.

Hmmm. I think the lad protest too much.

So when he turns up at The Bull and sees Nic having a nice chat with Harry, he comes out with:

“Did you know Nic had kids? Lovely kids they are. Smashing. I'm very fond of them. We have a nice family unit.”

So his new tactic appears to be putting off any prospective suitors by showing them Nic isn’t available, nor baggage free.

Well, we all know that really won’t matter is push comes to shove. I just hope this doesn’t go further than Will be a bit of an annoying arse …


How do the wheels on the bus go?

“round and round”

Well done Mia.

And congratulations too to Harry’s nephew Jasper for having an “incident with the glitter glue”.

There’s real hope for the future of Ambridge.


“Had pictured everything perfect ... it might not be”

Stressing about Ambridge Organics ‘big day’ tomorrow, Helen’s slipping into control freak overdrive.

Shame on Kirsty for even suggesting that they shut up a few minutes before official closing time.

Helen later regretted they hadn’t.

Just before they were about to shut, they got a visit from environmental health.

Who find one of their chiller cabinets was 2 degrees warmer than it should be.

And will have to return tomorrow as they couldn’t find their record book.

Oh good god. This is enough to send Helen into a very dark place indeed!

All should be well (as the cabinet had been moved earlier that day, plus the office is chaos due to their event tomorrow), but it sounded like one thing too many for Helen.

Rather than Happy Helen, she’s back on form as worried/stressed/negative Helen.

It might have been Kirsty’s reaction to the triple testing yesterday, but Helen is beginning to realise that neither her pregnancy nor birth nor life thereafter is going to be formulaic.

“so many unknowns having a baby”

Which is just not a lifestyle or mindset that Helen can deal with.

Oh dear. Just when I thought Helen had finally found her calm space …


Was Tom Terrified?

That’s the only explanation I can come up with his inability to behave like a normal human being when faced with an Environmental Health office

“Hi. I’m Tom Archer … Helen's brother … I brought the cooker and stuff … they're outside”

Eh?

He sounded like a teenage boy trying to play polite with his girlfriend’s dad.