Despatch

I felt like a despatcher this afternoon. I went to the bank to help my DH with his loan repayment. At 2 pm, there are still many people queuing at the counter. Should bring along the account book so I can use the CDM instead of waiting for counter payment. Half an hour wasted at Putrajaya. Then to the post office, mailed two packages and offerred some advices to the clerk on online business. On the way DH called and said he got an interview with the company I'm working with. Good for him, but I'm not sure I want to be working with my DH in this company. Anyway, done with that about another half an hour. Then went to the petrol station nearby the office just to be told that all pumps are not working because system is down (BS!). I went to another petrol station and this time the system is OK. Another 15 minutes wasted driving to and fro. The last stop, returned the books to the library, searched for new book and borrowed them for the study. I spent another half an hour at the library. In short, I managed to get five things done in exactly one and a half hour time! I considered myself a semi-pro despatcher and should qualify to compete in that so-called 'Amazing Race Asia'. Hehehehe..



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Best Regards,
Noradlina
http://rafdina.blogspot.com/

I could not understand..

I could not understand why sometimes everything I do is not to other people satisfaction. It happened this morning. We were not that late but suddenly my eldest made her dad angry. It was about the milk. Child tantrum. Not new to me. Then suddenly DH was mad at the shirt! I forgot to take out something at the collar before washing, and he threw the shirt in front of us, threw the washing basket. That collar thing was in the washing machine, not broken or anything, just fell off. I was dumb founded, drove thru the highway kept thinking what was wrong with things that I do. I silently cried while my children were happy as usual, nothing to think about. They just want to go to school. Maybe DH was furious that I read his text messages last few nights. I don't know. Maybe.

Yesterday I was happy thinking about things that we should do during the weekend to celebrate our 5th Anniversary. Today I don't think I gonna get that weekend.

Wedding photos

For the past few weeks, I have been looking at my newly weds friends' photos in FB. Very nicely crafted by experienced photographer, the photos include (but not limited to) the 'rings', door gifts, flower petals, hantaran, wedding cakes and most of all, the couples' poses (especially the bride). I envied them all for being so lucky to have it all during the wedding day. One of my fren, even have time to go to the seaside and posed there. Very romantic picture. I wished I had one like that. My wedding picture? Emm.. I am not regreting that I did not hire the professional photographer (because they were expensive those days!) but I wished I could flashback to my wedding day and take pictures with my family (yes, we did not get to gather them on time for family pics, they were all gone!). My DH family are big, they came by bus to my parents' home (where the wedding took place) and they were all tired after a long travelling hours the night before.
It was raining the morning when akad was scheduled. People say it is good, that the marriage is 'sejuk' (will be blessed and forever, I hope so, amiin).. but raining is not good the fact that the ground was wet and I had my high heels covered with mud (oh no!). It was not too sunny, nor too cold for bersanding ceremony. Everyone was happy, especially my parents as I was their last child to wed. I was so damn tired and has forgotten to refresh the make up etc for more photos. At 25 years old, I was not that particular about make up and such as I was one of those energetic young engineer trying to capture as much as I can at work. I did not take time to spend on manicure or facial before the wedding and only took leave two days before the actual day. I remembered vividly the moment DH slipped the ring on my finger after akad, we were so happy and relieved that finally we belong to each other, officially. This Saturday, 3rd May 2008, will be our 5th wedding anniversary. 12 years ago, we met in UK, fall in love and went through thick and thin during undergraduate days. Today, we had two beautiful daughters to care and nurture in hope that they will have the opportunity to experience fulfilling life as we did. I think I just have to forgo the idea of having beautifully crafted wedding photos as I already had every wonderful photos that I can imagine inside me.

Ends of Monday...

I had late lunch today. Mee goreng at 5pm. Just imagine. I met my boss on the way in to the office. They were getting ready to go to JB. My colleagues are all there since this morning. I was left alone to take care of the lab. At first, I was quite happy. Suddenly, I really felt left ALONE! Oh no! I was being 'unproductive' last week with no readings, just plain clerical work and unfinish report. Talk about work smart. I work better when no one was around, provided that the work needs me to sit down and think. Sometimes I work better if everyone is busy and I need to push them to do work for me, then I feel my work is rewarding. Hehehe. Being bad sometimes is fun. Anyway, I got 9 lot more to spend within 5 years. A total of 12 lots to spend before they expire. Haven't got the backdated pay yet, so, the dream closet need to wait a little longer. Maybe DH want to buy the 'SOFA' and I could move on to the 'CURTAIN'. Talk about home furnishing, I could not stop window shopping given the chance. Thursday is a holiday, maybe can drop by to the little curtain shop aroung the corner at Nilai 3. I saw the red curtain glittering with fake diamonds that captured our attention last night. Emm.. fake diamonds.. hehehe..

Its over..

It was over during the weekend. 7 Days. Not exactly 7 days, though. DH came back at 5.30 pm. The kids were estatic. I bought the dolls during Friday lunch time and kept them in the closet. I bought books too just to kill the time during the most challenging part of opening the boxes and trying to put things together. The Mariposa's wings are very big, and difficult to put them in. Then the screw at the back of Willa fall off, we could not fix it that time. A patience test for DH. I should complaint to Mattel that their Barbies has quality problems. 5 Barbies all together, I had none during my early years. I wished for a very very big teddy bear but my father was not that rich at that time. DH gave me my first very very big teddy bear during Valentine's Day in 1997. Those were the days. But I do like Luciana doll, she is prettier than Ro (the Island Princess), Mariposa, Willa and Kitchen Barbie. The Kitchen Barbie was Nabilah's 4th year birthday present from Meon and Farah Hanaa.

But somehow, I felt disturbed during the evening while giving them dinner. They were quarelling on the sticker book. Najihah wanted to have some hand on her sister's book. Obviously Nabilah would object as sharing things are not easy at this stage. Without much thinking, DH scolded me for buying the sticker books for them. How could him! I was driving like mad during the lunch time to get those Barbies ready for him and the books are just side things to distract them while he was busy unpacking the boxes and fixing things. Not even a thank you, and what I got was a blunt remark. Sometimes things are very unfair, and sometimes you even got it from someone you treasure the most.

Ironically, when I was unpacking his stuffs from the trip, I found nicely folded T-shirts, shirts and trousers. Only a few unwashed clothes and I managed to settle everything in less than an hour. This morning, I realized that there is no perfect man in this world. Saying thank you, for DH is not as easy I can think of. His actions may reveal thousand things about him that I just could not understand at this moment. It is kind of weird but he is the man I have chosen to be with.

Looking at the brighter side, the kids are simply more affectionate to their father after a week of absence. Lucky me, should have more time to read and rest after work.

Clutter..

Last night I was furious with my kids. They were so demanding until I could not breathe. I was shouting and yelling at them, just enough to make them cry. I was being a bad mom. Then their dad called, they started to tell-story. As I was cleaning the kitchen, my DH wanted to speak with me. It was a tough time handling two beautiful energetic toddlers alone. He asked whether I wanted my mom to come over, I said no. I believe I can handle them in an hour or so. I asked him to tell them exactly what I want them to do. He did, and amazingly after they put down the telephone, everything changed. They became their usual self.. bubbly but not too demanding. I guess they missed daddy very much up to a point, they will only listen to him, not me. Bedtime is much easier last night. We looked at Nabilah's art work and she slept with that file beside her pillow and Najihah with her usual routine, an art paper clutched tightly to sleep.

 

Quietly, I wonder what made me so furious during the evening? I had a tiring day, first day of my 'red' day - it is more tiring when you're having it. I came back to a cluttered house, swept but un'mop' for nearly a week (we were tired, and DH was even more tired than me). I felt the floor sticky as if I am walking on a fly-paper, yucks! Maybe that is the reason. I started cleaning up - sweeping the house, mopping the living room and tidying up the kitchen. Books and toys in the box, and cushions on the sofa. I took out all DVDs and knick knacks from the wardrobe and started arranging them in those newly smartly designed wardbore organizer boxes I bought at eCosway (cheaper than those solds in Carrefours or Giants!). I found Crystal Swarovski vase of glass flowers someone gave us during the wedding and eventually managed to arrange them on the side table, just enough to hide it from the kids but still able to give a breathe of fresh color into the bedroom. I hope they won't be attracted with the shiny orange beads in the vase. Strange but true, I felt more comfortable. I wished I got the backdated pay this Friday, I really want to buy the high closet for the bedroom, a nice bookshelf for the kids' books and more smart boxes to organize their toys in the living room.

 

It was the clutter that clutterred my mind, body and soul! Should not blame the kids, though. It is their natural tendencies to make clutter. It is my responsiblity to teach them to be uncluttered all the time.

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Best Regards,
Noradlina
http://rafdina.blogspot.com/

7 Days..

7 days.. that will be exactly the number of days I had to be with the kids alone! I was used to take care of my eldest daughter alone when my DH was working in the East Coast. Not much problem though because she was a cute little baby with not much fuss to think about. She slept just after Maghrib everyday and woke up just a couple of times in the middle of the night for her bottle. That was it, nothing too taxing for me. When the second child came about, we went to the States and there, we took care of the kids ourselves. Two of us. After almost two years in our home country, my DH never left me with the kids alone for one solid day. We took turns to get them to see the doctor and most of the time, I was the one who went outstation and left the kids with their dad and grandma (who stayed with them, until I came back). So, all the time, there will be two people taking care of them. Until last night, my DH went to that stupid Induction Course in PD for 7 days. He left on Sunday evening, while my eldest just woke up from her afternoon nap. She thought her dad just went to work for a couple of hours until bedtime came when she realized that he won't be back until the next Sunday! Bedtime was not easy, but thanks to Alphabet Book (that made Nabilah forgot that her dad was not in the room) and Dora Loves Boots story book that Najihah clutched closely to sleep at about 10 o'clock. Within one hour of bedtime, Nabilah kept asking things to soothe her. I walked out from their bedroom almost one o'clock in the morning and could not sleep well. The corridor lights went off (the bulbs broke!) just before bedtime and I was anxiously waited the alarm clock to ring, to make sure I am not late. Well, I wasn't late but the kids were in total dissapointment when they saw no dady at home yet!

I pray that tonight will be different (and better!) than yesterday. Think positive!

Day Care Agonies

I suddently felt I need to write this out. Kids at day care should not be pool bathed.

This morning, I received call from Najihah's day care saying that I could not send her to school next week because of the boils she is having right now. Well, she had them couple of months ago (after a series of treatment for her sister, Nabilah) when we decided we got to see the doctor again and treat her. The pustules (or should I say, cutaneous abcess with furuncles and carbuncle - that what they wrote in her GL) look itchy but it doesn't. Some of them already erupted and healing but new pustules came out because she scratched them when we were not looking. So, the teacher freak out today seeing those red boils and asked me to take her back. I was like, What! She got it from her friends and you asked me to take her back when some of them are healing? I was screaming inside, who's gonna take care of her. I could not possible take leave until the boils clear (which will take about a month or two). Easier said by the teacher, one less kid to take care for them. One big problem for the parent, like me (no maid, no relative nearby etc).

It all started when one of the kid got it at the day care and they did not abstain the child from having pool bath. They love pool bath so much! Then the boils infected one of the children with eczema (took one month leave to take care but she got someone to take care at home), then my eldest daughter got it (when to treatment 4 times in two months, everything cleared after that). Then, my younger daughter got it. Very unlucky for us!

Gonna buy some Tea Tree Oil to clear them faster. Have to bring the children to Warta tonight!

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Best Regards,
Noradlina
http://rafdina.blogspot.com/

Mariposa

Sometimes, you can only hope the best for your children and hope they will remember little things that you have sacrifice along the way.. I shall remember that today was the first time she brought her Mariposa DVD to school hoping to watch the movie with her friends. I warned her many many times that she could not do it, because the school does not have a DVD player. I pray hard that the teacher will no play the DVD, otherwise someone will be furious when we get back home this evening. Tuesday morning, full of unexpected things. *sigh*

Lalalala..

I'm working today. Yes, I am and since morning I have been working hard on the website content. Finished everything after 3 hours sitting in my room. Half day morning gone. Then I received a call - I got that promotion!. Hah! Another good news for me. Hehehe. Smile while I can, before someone disturb me with more work to chew. At least I got more money this year compared to last year. Anyway, anger management course is still in place. I have just downloaded an e-book on how to manage your child anger. Gonna read it tonight. Should be interesting to learn new things.

I need my life..

Yesterday, I did something stupid, hurt Najihah's forehead (she bumped onto the aircond window) and lost my DH's RM100 for broken aircond window. That's not all, I might hurt my eldest feelings and courage for being outspoken. It was supposed to be a busy day with tons of things to do, but instead I spent few hours on the net trying to figure out how can I get those parcels here safely. I was procrastinating! I picked up the kids early just in time to cook dinner and hope that I can do some work at night. Unexpectedly, the moment they saw Honey Stars, they started quarelling, and yelling to each other. I wished I did not step on the brake but I did. It was a horrible evening! Then my DH brought me back to my senses, "You are getting angrier everyday! What's wrong with you?'' He took the children out for an hour. Enough time for me to stop and look back for the past few weeks what has happened to me. Stress, stress and more stress.

 

I was stressed to the max when preparing for all those tender papers (five of them, with one for the Board for the last 4 months), stressed when I have to finish up the technical papers for Sweden, burnt out from monthly site work (although it was good to be away for few days from the kids, but it was tiring!) and constant pressure of keeping up with my study and services I need to monitor. I haven't been really spoken to my girl friends, other than thru FB. I don't have time to speak even with my DH at home (housework, keeping up with energetic kids, too tired to talk etc). Do I need a councillor? Not sure. He or she may not be perfect but I am not that type that open up easily for strangers. I don't like my job, maybe? I am not sure that either. People look at me as if I am very hardworking and smart. I am because what I am doing is simple things, not that challenging anymore. I don't like meeting people, but I like to do things my own way. I like to write things, I do no provoke but I believe in fair share. I put things in perspective but whenever I lost mine, my world are upside down. I need to slow down, but I could not do in fear of competition. I may end up quitting my job when I have one million in my bank account. I am in anger, my DH is right. So, I looked up Google for Anger Management course. And also, how to manage my child better. I felt that I have been neglecting my parenting skills ever since I left the States. My readings only revolve around career and more career.

 

Anger management and kids management. Ok, sound good. Will write about these two issues later on. I should have my goals in place for the next couple of months. Work is important, but I need my life back.

 

Side note: I am glad I have someone close to shut me up and have my senses work again. Love you.

 

Scam?

This morning I received several emails from Alumni on credit card frauds. I have had one experience with CC fraud but it is more towards, I forgot that I subsribed to it when I was in US. Hehe. Anyway, I got a refund from Maybank and the card was cancelled. I'm gonna write about this afternoon incident while I was in Giant, Nilai. I was meant to post the breastpumps to my customer and go shopping at Giant afterwards when a group of youngters approached me and handed me a gift card. Sounds familiar? First I was sceptical and reluctant to open it but somehow seeing the guy was so 'peramah', I opened it. Guess what? I won a Mystery Gift, that was what they told me. I was scammed two years back in my own house so this time I will be more cautious. When I asked, do I need to pay anything to get the Mystery Gift (which they claim could be a Persona (01) or a Viva (02) or even a 15K cash (17)), they said no.. nothing whatsoever. I queried about the package shown in the card, they said no, I don't have to buy anything, just go to their office and see what kind of gift that I got. Then I saw the promotion already ended (31/3/08) and today is 4/4/08. No, they said the company extended it because the gifts were not claimed. They seemed to have every answer for every questions that I have. So, for benefit of my doubt, I went to Oakland Commerce Square in Seremban and talk to their manager. Then, I know it was all scam or shall I said near scam. I have to agree that I will buy the package consists of a microwave (Taiwan's brand) and a foot reflexology machine (China brand) that will cost me RM2600 then I can only see the gift number (which they claimed it can only be scanned at the central office. Where is the office? They never revealed). After much arguments and they still don't give in to me to see the gift number, I called my husband to check on the company (he is working at Company's Commission, remember?). It turned out that the company, Worldwide Freeway Sdn Bhd is a registered company for some sort of management of hardware, civil works, piping etc and the registered address is in Penang, not Seremban. I thanked them and quickly drove away. Their faces, frustrated that they could not get me. Haha! Thanks to my DH, I nearly got scam twice.

It was a good Friday afternoon lunch break. I had a mee goreng at 3 pm, and missed the Unit Meeting (Sorry boss!). Have a great weekend everyone!

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Best Regards,
Noradlina
http://rafdina.blogspot.com/

Lost..

I think I lost it. Some people told me to beware but I was only being fair. Gave them chances, I said. Today, I found out that guy was nowhere to be found. Yesterday they had some drama in the office. Politics and work don't mix. There goes my RM300. Don't know when or will he return my hard earned money. Lesson learnt: Never trust ambitious politicians (or would be politicians) without attitude with your money!

Grieving hearts..

In just a mere two months apart, I have lost two extraordinary people in my life. I have written somewhere how I felt so down when my senior died because of brain tumor. I remembered following her everyday progress via email (reported by my dear friend, Ros) after the surgery in which she succumbed to it and peacefully left us in January. It was a very sad day for most of us, the SSPians. Before that, I believed I lost several family members (from my DH's side) where we did not able to attend the funeral. Then, last week Friday afternoon, after Friday prayer break, I was in total shock when our beloved MD died in the office (stroke might be the most probably cause). He was speaking at the usual Friday morning meeting, reminding us to continue our effort in such and such. Alpha, Beta, Gamma; I remembered those 3 words vividly in his last speech. He showed no sign of sickness but I do know that he is tired and need more rest (he turned 56 last 31st January and his position was continued on contract basis). I went to lunch early and saw him finishing his lunch. He spoke to me on the way out from the cafe and I never expected that will be the last time I saw him alive. I was glad that I had early lunch that day (as I rarely do!). The whole office was shattered by the news, and most of us cried. He was a boss, a friend, a family member and everything that you could wish for a person you want to work with. He motivated many of us to strive to the best, sharing his experiences in R&D in every way he could, inspired the executives to work harder and smarter everyday and he was one of a person whom you cannot say 'No' to. It was a great loss to us. I pray that he is in peace and may Allah put him among the Sollihins. We will always remember Friday, March 28th 2008 as the day we loss a great man. Al-Fatihah.

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Best Regards,
Noradlina
http://rafdina.blogspot.com/