Triple "S"...

The dreaded "Special Snowflake Syndrome." I don't know if I'm just noticing it more lately or if things are changing, but the number of people I see out in public completely and utterly unaware that there are other humans in their little life's play seems to be growing.

Like this douchebag:

He's not in a parking space. That's the entry way to the local warehouse store. Because people often buy large, heavy items like furniture and appliances, the "curb" isn't - so jackass parked there. There are parking spaces galore, but none were apparently close enough for Senor Jackass, so up on the curb he goes.

Of course, this same area is frequently a site for other SSS's. I see people who pull up, leaving their running automobile directly in the travel lane while they load their purchases into it. It is not uncommon to see vehicles half-out into the main travel lane, either; it's like they just randomly decide "Oh, here's a good place to stop" because in their minds, there are no other humans on the planet.

The worst, in my opinion, are the ones that will sit in a running car right next to an empty parking space while someone else runs into the store for a quick errand. There's nothing as exciting as moving around one of these mouthbreathers only to find one of their kindred spirit blithely backing out of a parking space without even so much as a cursory glance. Ah, excitement.


And yet people think we'll have "self-driving" cars any time in our lifetimes. Um, no. Unless the government takes a very active role in getting "human driving" cars off the road, it ain't gonna happen. All it's going to take is one erratic human to screw up an entire line of self-driving cars to cause all sorts of mischief and mayhem.

I think Mencken said it best: "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public"...

That is all.

[Insert Incoherent Sputtering]

Bono: send Amy Schumer and Chris Rock to fight Islamic State

Never one for holding back on an opinion, Bono has come up with a new way of destroying Islamic State – not with bombs, but with belly laughs. The U2 singer said sending comedians such as Amy Schumer and Sacha Baron Cohen would be an effective alternative to airstrikes.

Bono was speaking in front of a Senate subcommittee on Tuesday 12 April, during a wide-ranging discussion on the Middle East and the refugee crisis. He said: “Don’t laugh. I think comedy should be deployed. It’s like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them, when they’re goose-stepping down the street, and it takes away their power. So, I’m suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer, and Chris Rock, and Sacha Baron Cohen, thank you.”

Okay, let's start with the first WTF. What the bloody hell is *BONO* - a washed-up, has-been former celebrity who used to, at one point in his career, been able to sing - doing appearing before a US Senate subcommittee on ISIS and terrorism? Really, WTF? Did someone think that "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" made him an expert on terrorism?

Or, more likely, did they think that bringing in a celebrity that Boomers and GenX'ers are familiar with would generate more interest in the hearing, and bring attention to their attempt to "Do Something About This"?

Secondly, this is the crappiest load of crap anyone ever crapped. Look, I know it's in vogue to send in washed up singers after terrorist attacks and all, but really? You think sending comedians - female Jewish comedians, at that - to combat a group known for beheading, crucifying, drowning and even immolating those it disagree with is a good idea? Honestly?

What's funny - not in the "ha,ha" way - is that my last post centered on Bruce Springsteen and his *SUPER* brave stance on NC. Specifically, it's over NC's alleged mistreatment of the trans-gendered community in how people who identify with different genders can or cannot use certain restrooms. Whether you agree with Springsteen, North Carolina, or are somewhere in between, there is one unmistakable fact:

Every single person that this "law" allegedly affects would be brutally slaughtered by ISIS. 

You are born a male but identify as a woman? Here in America, you *might* face some prejudice and be forced to use a male bathroom. In Syria, Iraq and other areas dominated by ISIS? They throw you off a gorram building. Perspective. Get some. Dealing with prejudice is never fun. Dealing with homicidal maniacs, though, is decidedly less fun.

It's quite telling who Hollywood thinks we should treat more harshly, isn't it? North Carolina gets boycotts, threats, and hatred. ISIS gets a standup routine.

No, Bono, No. We don't send entertainers. We send B-52 bombers. Lots of 'em. We kill these crazy bastards until they give up. If they don't give up, we kill enough of them that they cease to be a threat. Period. Mockery certainly has its place, but it also has its time. When ISIS is actively controlling large parts of entire countries and sponsoring terrorism around the world is not the time to fall back on an aggressive campaign of sarcasm and potty jokes.

It's time to be shooting these evil mo-fos in the face and bombing them into oblivion, THEN we can mock their failed ideology.

That is all.

"Free"

So, I keep seeing a meme popping up in various left-leaning circles (yes, I have them. Opposition research, dontcha know?). It's a variant of "Europe has free healthcare and college for all, why can't the US?" It's hard to tell which is worse: That the person posting the meme has no idea what "free" means, or that they do and just don't care.

First off, Europe absolutely does NOT have "free" college or health care. Most of Europe operates under a crushingly high tax rate - quite often over 50% of your income. Then add in the VAT (Value Added Tax) that most often runs 10-20% depending on the goods or services, and it's quite possible that the higher-tax-bracket Europeans are losing close to 2/3 of their income to taxes.

This is "free"?

Look, I get it. You're trying to appeal to Millennials, who have basically had everything they ever wanted in life handed to them on a platter. We saw this first hand when the kids were younger - hire someone to babysit, they never show up, "Oops, I forgot, sorry." Just try to find a teenager to shovel your driveway or mow the lawn. Good luck. You want to bring in the younger crowd? Promise them they won't have to pay off those pesky student loans. Tell them they won't have to "pay" for their health care.

Of course, they will, in both cases, and a lot more than the face value. But you know that, don't you? You know that Europe is a red herring, that your target audience will just accept it at face value and not dig into it. Yeah, damn those successful people. How dare they earn all the money so there's none left for me? Tax them at 100%! As long as some mythical "other" person is going to front the tax dollars, who cares where the money comes from, right?

What really worries me is what happens when - not if - we do run out of other people's money. All that "free" stuff the politicians have been promising evaporates when times get tough. And remember: If you're not paying for it, you have no say in when it arrives, how it arrives, and what kind of quality it will exhibit once you get it.

TL/DR version: It's free, and you get exactly what you pay for...

That is all.

Never Ascribe to Malice...

...that which can be ascribed to stupidity. Yes, I know the trope. However, I don't think this is stupidity:

First off, someone else in comments on FB pointed out that the interest rate on a student loan is something like a third of a percent more than the going rate for a car or mortgage. So right off the bat Sanders is being disingenuous - while, technically, what he said was true, it's rather misleading. Second, comparing *anything* to car loans is specious at best - I got a 0% rate on my new car, so by Sanders' "logic" pretty much *anything* is worse than that.

And, lastly, as thousands have already so rightly pointed out, he's comparing a loan that has no collateral vs. a loan with hard and fast physical objects. Um, duh. Of *course* the college loan is going to be a higher risk - there's literally nothing backing it up should the loan recipient default. I take out a car loan and stop making payments, the bank at least has a car. Ditto a mortgage. But if I get my degree, then default on my loan, what can the bank do? Sure, it can ding my credit and all, but it wouldn't stop me from working for the New York Times...

I don't think this is stupidity, though, or even ignorance. No, this smacks of the ubiquitous class warfare rhetoric that the Democratic party has been famous for spewing for, well, decades, if not centuries. Sanders is clearly targeting Millennials, who are watching the piles of student loan debt they accumulated in search of their "Fourteenth Century Art Appreciation" degree, are just ripe for the "Wealthiest One Percent" garbage the left so loves to spew (even if they are absolutely part of that one percent).

Sanders would have to almost literally be a drooling idiot to not know why a student loan would be a higher risk (therefore incurring a higher interest rate). He's obviously not, having managed to eke out a fairly good living as a politician -- he's been in public "service" for 34 years out of the 51 years since leaving college. Even if Sanders honestly does believe that a student loan should have a lower rate than a car loan, shouldn't he have an adviser or advisers who would say, hey Bernie, this is economic illiteracy here?

No, this is plain ol' class warfare, the likes of which we've seen since the turn of the century. The *last* century. Sanders is counting on the media not calling him on this BS and the message of "Bernie's looking out for the poor college students" coming through. Of course, no one's asking questions like "Gee, Bernie, why *are* college tuitions so high?" because then we'd have to risk the wrath of the ivory tower denizens and point out that, gee, maybe "professors" like Elizabeth Warren making a third of a million dollars a year teaching a single class might be the reason for that exorbitant college cost?

It's just *SOOOO* much easier to insinuate that somewhere, somehow, in a smoke-filled room, a bunch of eeeeeevil bankers have gathered to discuss ways to screw poor Millennial barristers with 14th Century Art History degrees...

That is all.

Explosives Make Poor Hats...

By now, most people have heard about the unfortunate young man from Maine who decided, as a joke, to put a firework mortar on his head.

Maine man dies after launching fireworks from his head

A 22-year-old man celebrating the Fourth of July was killed instantly over the weekend when authorities said he tried to launch fireworks from atop his head.

Devon Staples had been drinking with family and friends Saturday night in Calais, Maine, a small town near the Canadian border, when he put a reloadable fireworks mortar tube on his head and threatened to light it, Maine Department of Public Safety spokesman Stephen McCausland told the Associated Press.

Now, first off, my heart goes out to the family of this young man. No matter what you think of the stunt, a man lost his life. Someone's son, someone's brother, someone's fiance has had their life cut tragically short. That it was a case of apparent stupidity, possibly fueled by alcohol, makes it worse - there is, quite simply, no reason for this to have occurred.

Some speculate that he thought the firework was a dud, that he picked it up and was goofing around when it went off. Others cling to the idea that he accidentally lit the firework with a cigarette. His mother wants to more strictly regulate fireworks, choosing to shift the blame to the inanimate object rather than the person that misused the inanimate object.

Hmmm. Where have we heard that before?

I think, though, that we have to step back and take a bigger look at things. Sure, to people with life experience, putting a high explosive right up next to your brain is a giant red flag, something we'd never do and would actively stop someone from doing. But look at it from the vantage point of a 22-year old manchild (and, honestly, 22 years old with no college and only time spent working at Disney? You're technically an adult but you haven't grown up yet).

He has spent his entire life in a cocoon of forced safety.

Let that sink in a minute. His entire life, things have either been mandatory or banned. Lawn darts? Too dangerous. Banned. Three-wheeled ATVs? Too dangerous. Banned. Helmets for bicycles, skis, roller skates, etc.? Mandatory. Backup cameras in cars? Mandatory. When he was a toddler, his parents probably padded all the corners, blocked all the outlets, and put all the cleaning supplies in the top cabinet. As a young boy, he was forced to wear helmets, pads, seatbelts, bright colored clothes, etc.

He's never learned what danger *is*. 

Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone's a winner. We can't keep score because then the losers feel bad. Feelings triumph over everything else, and we get so wrapped up in making everything "fair" that important lessons fall by the wayside. No one is allowed to fail. No one is allowed to make mistakes. No one ever grabs the handle of the hot pan and gets burned, learning the important lesson to listen to mom when she tells you to leave the stuff on the range alone.

I fear we will see a *lot* more stories like these.

Freedom is dangerous. It's messy. It's complicated. We can't legislate people into being responsible adults; we have to show them how to behave. You can't put a kid in a program to learn about the dangers of *everything* - too much of the world is dangerous. You have to equip your kids with the tools to make good decisions, and that's hard. It's a lot easier to blunt the scissors, to medicate with television and video games so that they stop asking the hard questions and stop seeking wisdom and knowledge.

We placate rather than educate.

Yes, he did something stupid. But put yourself in his shoes. His entire life, all the dangerous stuff has been kept far away from him. He's never been allowed to fail, never made a mistake that bit him on the @$$, never had something go horribly wrong that he had to fix. I'll wager he never had to change a flat tire or walk five miles to a gas station because he ran out of gas - the cell phone and AAA membership have rendered that life lesson obsolete.

It's easy to joke about Darwin and "stupid should hurt." It's harder to sit back and look objectively at the vast bulk of our society and realize that we're raising a generation who are going to do things just like this, simply because they've never learned otherwise. They've never taken chances, because they've never been allowed to take risks. If you take a risk, you could get hurt.

There has been a grave disservice done in removing all consequences from bad actions.

That is all.

Paying the Danegeld...

I'm sorry. This is the stupidest f**king thing I think I've ever heard. Naturally, it's from MA.

Pay criminals not to commit crimes? Tito Jackson would pay violent offenders to change ways

The gunplay in City Councilor Tito Jackson’s Roxbury neighborhood has kept him up nights searching for an answer to stop the violence. He found one, he says, in Richmond, Calif.

The small San Francisco Bay Area city pays violent young adults a stipend of between $300 and $1,000 per month for up to nine months to abandon a life of crime. It’s working, he says. Crime is down in Richmond.

Jackson says he wants to see if a similar pay-to-behave program can take root on the Hub’s 300 most violent troublemakers. He’s pitching his “disruptive” plan to the City Council. Something needs to be done, he told the Herald’s Joe Dwinell, to protect city kids:

Up to $1,000 a month simply for not committing crimes. Yeah, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with the plan to REWARD hoodlums for not acting like hoodlums? Has anyone thought this through, even in the least? Do the hoods have to give the money back if they revert?

They point to the cost of incarceration and police overtime as justification for this program, claiming that the cost of paying one of these hoodlums is far less than the cost of keeping them in jail. $12K (one year at $1,000 a month) is far less than the $53K it costs to keep a person in jail, that's the logic.

Except that presumes that no one will step up to commit the crimes that these hoodlums are allegedly no longer committing. It flies in the face of human nature that Hood B will see [former] Hood A out of jail, getting a fat grand a month for not committing crimes, and think anything other than "How can I get in on that sweet deal?"

Reward criminals for temporarily refraining from committing crimes. That's what passes for "leadership" in Massachusetts, folks. I guess it's a step up - I mean, he didn't call for gun control at the same time. I'm sure all those hoodlums are committing their crimes with legally-owned firearms all from the Approved Firearms Roster have their unrestricted Class A LTCs, right?

So, what's next on the Stupid Idea Express? 

That is all.

Wait. What?

Someone above me in pay grade needs to explain this to me.

I own a bakery. I am of a religious belief that says homosexuality is a sin. A gay couple comes in and requests a cake for their wedding. If I refuse, I can be sued. The ruling was, essentially, you run a bakery, not a church.

However, if I run a trucking company and two employees refuse to carry a load of alcohol, citing their religious beliefs, I cannot fire them, lest the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission sue me for refusing to accommodate their religious beliefs.

Honestly?

Can someone reconcile these two stories? Ideally, it'd be nice if you were intellectually honest at the same time. How on bloody earth can a business get sued for refusing to do something based on their religious beliefs, while at the same time another business gets sued for doing something based on their employees' religious beliefs? Isn't the government playing both ends against the middle?

I have a solution, though. Make the Muslim truck drivers delivery gay wedding cakes...

That is all.

Why Is the NCA* Silent?

Joseph in IL sends in a cutting story...

Farming town disrupted by melee that included chain saw

The quiet of Big Sandy's block-long commercial district was disrupted one afternoon this week when two vehicles sped into town and their seven occupants got out and began fighting.

The brawl began when three men in a car pulled up in front of a coffee shop shortly after 2 p.m. Monday, and a pickup carrying two men and two women stopped behind them, Chouteau County Sheriff Vern Burdick said.

Considering that one person had "superficial" wounds and the remaining participants were unharmed, it's safe to bet that "Yakety Sax" should accompany any footage of this melee (thanks to Joseph for the mental image...) Fortunately, everyone involved was either completely inept in the ways of street fighting or perhaps too drunk to swing a fist properly. In any case, it seems like damage was minimal and no innocent bystanders were injured.

I've often joked that I'd like to include a chainsaw in my home defense plan, for one simple reason: If someone does break into my house, it's most likely going to be in the middle of the night, while I'm sleeping. Sure, showing up at the top of the stairs with an AR-15 or shotgun would be scary, but imagine a McCulloch with a 2' bar in full throttle, being wielded by a 6' tall shaved head biker looking guy in his tidy whiteys... I envision the home invaders leaving comical human silhouette prints in the door leaving...

Remember, when chainsaws are outlawed, only outlaws will have chainsaws...

That is all.

*Why, the National Chainsaw Association, of course!

I Have No Words...

I thought some of the stuff in the video I posted yesterday was stupid. Folks, the idiots passing cars on the right, lanesplitting, and otherwise riding motorcycles like mouth-breathing morons are Albert F**king Einstein compared to the person in this next story...

Driver was on Facebook before crash that killed three, say cops

A Wisconsin woman's phone is recovered months after a crash in which her daughter and two nieces, whom she was driving, were killed. She is being charged with homicide.

When the crash happened, police couldn't work out why.

A car driven by 34-year-old Kari Jo Milberg from Centuria, Wisc., allegedly plowed into a truck heading in the opposite direction. Her 11-year-old daughter and two 5-year-old nieces, who were in the car with her, were killed.

Also in this car was her three year old son, who was injured in the crash. Now, I understand that there are a lot of "if"s here. We're assuming the story is more-or-less correct as reported, and I know that often that is a HUGE leap of faith. I'm a little skeptical myself in that the phone was found months later, and *that* is the break that lead cops to suspect she was on Facebook? There's something that doesn't quite mesh up here.

With that caveat, though, there's an inescapable fact: There was a collision between this person's vehicle and a rather large truck, and in that collision three people were killed. Her 11-year old daughter, and two 5-year old nieces, lost their lives in the crash. She was ejected from the vehicle, indicating she wasn't wearing a seatbelt; police and witnesses ruled out weather as a factor.

What is known is that immediately before the crash she was actively sending and receiving Facebook messages. The last message was two minutes before the crash was reported; certainly she was sending these messages at some point while she was driving. Maybe she stopped, and the crash happened when one of the kids caught her attention, but the evidence does point to her inattention as having caused the crash.

She's facing three counts of negligent homicide, which I can't say I disagree with. Assuming the charges are correct, her desire to continue a conversation on her phone was more important than the safety of not only her own two children, but of two small children under her care. That is unconscionable. It would be one thing if she got rear-ended at a red light and they discovered she was on Facebook at the time. But to be driving down a main road, blithely texting away with four kids in the car?

I can't wrap my mind around that kind of ignorance, I really can't.

That is all.

That Word You Keep Using...

I do not think it means what you think it means...

This, quite simply, is idiotic (the headline, not the actual story)...

Utah May Bring Back the Most Inhumane Capital Punishment Ever

The United States has more than 3,000 people on death row and a federal government that's increasingly uncomfortable with the unreliability of lethal injection as a method of capital punishment.

Utah's solution? Bring back the firing squad.

The FIRING SQUAD is the "most inhumane capital punishment ever"? Really? I would wager a whole bunch of crucified Christians would disagree. Or the folks impaled in Eastern Europe. Or, if you want more recent, how about the gay men thrown off buildings in Syria?

The problem is, with such a wide-open title, and no clarification like "modern" or "American", he makes a mockery of the article with the title. There have been plenty of worse methods of execution: drawing and quartering, the iron maiden, stoning; the list of gruesome ways that man has used to kill his fellow man - even in an official capacity - is long, and quite frankly drilling five .30-caliber projectiles through someone doesn't even crack the top 20.

 Now, if you want to argue that it's the most inhumane punishment used in the US, that's a (slightly) different story. There's been a fair amount of concern over the lethal injection cocktail; the electric chair is pretty damned gruesome; and while hanging is pretty effective if done right - it's not always done right.

It's also a road you don't want to go down, bunky. You know what's one of the most effective methods? Guillotine. Separating the head from the body is 100% effective and damn near instantaneous. It also happens to be rather messy, unphotogenic, and brings with it the baggage of decapitation.

We often confuse "bloodless" with "painless" or "humane" and it often ain't so...

That is all.

I Weep for the Species

I just... I can't... Gah.

Officials: Teen accused in boy's death took selfie with body

Authorities say a western Pennsylvania teenager charged in the shooting death of another teen took a selfie with the body and sent it to a friend on social media.

The 16-year-old boy is charged with homicide and a firearms count in the death of 16-year-old Ryan Mangan, who was found Wednesday evening in his Jeannette home.

He shot another human to death, then took pictures of the body and sent them to his friends on social media. I'm guessing Facebook or Instagram or something of that ilk. Over. The. Damn. Internet. I mean, there's not even a pretense of discretion here. You've just committed a horrible, violent crime that in many states would earn you the death penalty. Let's broadcast our guilt!

There are so many facets to this story I don't even know where to begin. There's a 16 year old murderer - too young to buy a firearm in any state in the US, and certainly too young to legally carry a firearm - who is so proud of having committed the most heinous of violent crimes that he takes to social media.

There's something seriously wrong with both this kid and our society here. He wasn't afraid of getting caught, certainly; that's the biggest problem (after being completely willing to just murder a peer, of course). That some people think more gun laws will stop something like this is both infuriating and frightening. And what the hell does it say about us that he just *had* to post pictures of his crime?

Hell, handbasket, some assembly required...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

Hell, Handbasket, Some Assembly Required...

Man, I don't know what's going on out there, but the stupid is THICK. Just a couple of stories that show, graphically, how we are basically on the express elevator to hell.

One:

Texas boy suspended after bringing 'ring of power' to school

Tolkien lore led a Texas boy to suspension after bringing his “one ring” to school.

Kermit Elementary School officials called it a threat when the 9-year-old boy, Aiden, in a playful act of make-believe, told a classmate he could make him disappear with a ring forged in fictional Middle Earth’s Mount Doom.

{blink} {blink} What the hell did I just read?

Two:

911 dispatcher breaks the rules to save a toddler

A 911 dispatcher in Virginia helped save a baby’s life by guiding his family through CPR.

It was the frantic call that sharply plunged a routine day at the Galax Police Department into a race against the clock. A race for a little boy’s life. 17-month-old Aidan Walker had been feeling a little under the weather and was taking a nap with his grandmother Cheri Grable. His mother Melissa Grable was out getting more medicine. When suddenly, “He’s dying! He can’t breathe!”

What worries me the most about both of these stories is the locations. Neither were in Crazy California or Nanny State New York. Texas and Virginia, states not normally known for stupidity of this magnitude.

Now, I can kinda sorta understand the CPR one. Performed improperly, CPR can injure, maim, or even kill someone, especially a 17-month old toddler. You get some adrenaline-fueled parent pressing down hard on a small ribcage and that could be a recipe for disaster. And, of course, a hefty lawsuit. Without the proper credentials for guiding someone in CPR, that department could have been in a world of hurt had things gone wrong.

But, calling a 9-year old child a threat for mentioning Tolkien's One True Ring? Are you kidding me? The only threat here is the one posed by a nine year old smart enough to be reading Tolkien. Chances are pretty high this kid is bored to tears by the standard classroom curriculum and has been a thorn in the teacher's side since September. I know. I was just like that.

Meanwhile, ISIS is burning people to death and President Feckless is sending James Taylor over to sing "You've Got A Friend" to the French people. Why is it that we go batshit crazy over this stupid stuff and WAAAAAYYY overreact, but when it comes to the kind of thing that we should get all worked up about, we approach it like field mice approaching a hungry bobcat?

Maybe we should tell President Teetime that ISIS is secretly planning to teach school children how to use the Ring of Power to perform CPR?

That is all.

Cue Crickets...

Remember back a few years ago, how Venezuela was held up as *the* model for universal health care? Stories like this abounded, regaling us with the triumph of the Venezuelan health care system implemented in 1999. Doctors were being trained, set to go out in communities and give free health care, etc. Overlooked in the orgy of congratulatory pro-socialist backslapping over the obvious triumph of .gov control over eeeeevil capitalism was the seizing of the Venezuelan oil companies by Chavez.

So, you ask, what happens when the price of oil collapses? I'm glad you ask that. When the bottom falls out of the oil market, all that "free" health care? Yeah, not so great any more...

Venezuela's 'socialist paradise' turns into a nightmare: medical shortages claim lives as oil price collapses

For Jose Perez, a Venezuelan taxi driver from Caracas, the hardest part about watching his wife die from heart failure was knowing just how easily she could have been saved.

The surgeons at the Caracas University Hospital were ready to operate on 51-year-old Carmen, but because of the shortages of medicines now ravaging Venezuela, they had no stocks of the prosthetic artery that would have saved her life.

Yep. When your "free" health care depends on oil profits from companies you seized at the point of a gun, when the market fails, your entire economy collapses and takes the "free" health care with it. Notice no one is touting Venezuelan health care now. If the government hadn't seized those eeeeeevil oil companies, perhaps they might have weathered the drop in price better.

Oh, no, far better to kill the golden goose and eat for a night than to keep taking those golden eggs. Especially when you can deliver a "kick in the leg" to that meanie United States and show them up with your universal health care, right? Funny how no one's touting the success of "universal" health care (using Venezuela as a model) now.

Y'know, it's *almost* like actions have consequences or something...

That is all.

People Are Stupid...

So, yesterday we had our first snowfall. Much like in New England, the first snow of the season is always a special occasion, and by "special" I mean "filled with a kind of stupid that brings about a frothing rage." I saw, in no particular order, the following:

*A person stop at a red light, and then - while the light is still red - make a U-turn into oncoming traffic. Mind you, the oncoming traffic had both a green light and was heading downhill. In the snow.

*A woman in a Mustang convertible STOP IN THE TRAVEL LANE on the highway to clear the ice off her windshield wipers. Stopped. IN THE TRAVEL LANE. She just brought her car to a stop and hopped out and started clearing - AND LEFT HER DAMN DOOR OPEN.

*A jackass in a black F-150 who, despite the two lanes of traffic attempting to merge onto the completely packed three-lane highway, dove into the breakdown lane and rode straight into the thick of things. A double damnation on the imbecile who let him in.

I left my house at 6:15 yesterday morning. I arrived at work, some 18 miles away, at 9:00. I could have biked to work in less time.

There were dozens of other, smaller stupid instances, like - yet again - idiots who stop on a snow-covered hill, or morons who make right turns on red despite oncoming traffic. Those are so common as to not even be worth mentioning otherwise. Like the dunderheads in their $80K luxury cars that don't understand the concept of "mashing the gas to the floor only makes the rear tires spin faster"...

It's funny how the same types of idiots exist in both the northeast and in northern Virginia...

That is all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

If The Shoe Fits...

Sent in on the BLNN is this charming story.

Police: Baby Jesus taken, replaced with pig's head

A mayor in Massachusetts is outraged that someone stole a baby Jesus statue from a church’s Nativity scene and replaced it with a pig’s head.

The parish priest noticed the statue had been taken from the creche at Sacred Hearts Roman Catholic Church on Christmas morning.

Police say the pig’s head left in its place appears to have been recently severed, and investigators are seeking help from butcher shops and pig farms. Police say the perpetrator could face animal cruelty charges.

Now, this is Massachusetts, where the Catholic Church is a favored whipping boy. Which is why this next part surprised me somewhat:

Haverhill Mayor James Fiorentini says the desecration has ‘‘all the elements of a hate crime.’’

That they might even dare to utter the "H" word in regards to something that happened to a Catholic Church in Massachusetts tells me that people have gone positively apeshit over this in Haverhill. It's a pretty Italian town, and there are lots of Catholics there.

Oh, and that's the church I used to go to when I lived in MA.

Locals are blaming "atheists," which I'm pretty sure is a crock of s**t.This is either bored teens who have never gone to church, or else activists looking to piss people off without putting themselves in any danger. Like I said, that was my church. The only time it was ever full was Easter; the remainder of the year you'd be lucky to get it half-filled, and this is in a city of some 70K people, a good percentage of which are Catholic.

If I were a betting man, I'd chalk this up to bored teenagers who thought it would be good for a laugh, something everyone would talk about but at the worst would get them a slap on the wrist if they got caught. Apparently you can buy pig heads at butcher shops; I suspect that's where it came from - if they did, in fact, behead a pig that didn't belong to them their lives are going to get pretty damn miserable. MA has pretty strict cruelty laws and isn't reluctant to use them.

I just hope they *are* in fact charged with a hate crime. Burn a cross on a lawn, spraypaint a swastika on a synagogue, you better believe that'll get hate crime charges and civil rights violations aplenty. But take a poke at the Catholic Church? Yawn.

Although doing it in a city with a strong Italian population - a fair percentage of which are on the police force - might not work out the way the perps thought...

That is all.

Buddy, The Chicken's Not the Only Thing That's NOT Free Range...

Skidmark sent these in. I had to post it just so y'all could get a good chuckle or two...

Ridicule heaped upon Berkeley rioter complaining about jail food

One of the Berkeley rioters became the target of hilarious mockery after complaining about the the quality of the fare served at the jailhouse.

Here's the meal in question:

Yeah, that's borderline torture, ain't it, bunky? A bologna sandwich, chips, an orange, and a cup of water to drink. You've got protein (bologna), fiber (wheat bread), and fruits - the only thing missing is something from the dairy family. That horrible lunch looks like what a lot of kids took to school back when I was growing up. Yet this doofus - in jail for being part of the riot - thinks this is akin to waterboarding. Hell, that meal is probably too good for school children, at least according to Michelle Obama...

And then there's this:

Berkeley protesters complain their successful #ShutItDown campaign means they have to walk home [photos]

Berkeley, Calif. endured more chaos and mayhem last night as police-brutality protesters were successful at bringing local car and rail traffic to a halt.

Apparently, the protestors shut down highways and train lines by blocking traffic. Without getting too much into how angry I would be if I was unable to get home to my family because a bunch of spoiled rich kids were playing protestor, nor defining just how many I could run over in the Earthf**ker before the tire treads got filled with soylent green and lost traction (lots), this is the kind of "protest" that is going to boil over one of these days, and it's not going to go well for the protestors. They're out there on the train tracks. TRAIN TRACKS. Trains are notorious for not giving a hairy rat's patoot what the color of the skin was on the person they just ran over...

So, yeah. After their big successful protest, which accomplished nothing except pissing people off that had absolutely zero to do with any of the cases they were protesting about, they came smack-dab face to face with actions that have consequences. They turned to get back on the subway trains to get back to their comfy suburban homes only to find that, hey, some dumbass blocked the train tracks and the trains aren't running. Enjoy your walk, @$$hole.

Let me play you "Hearts and Flowers" on the world's smallest violin, doofus.

That is all.

LIfe's Hard. Get a Helmet

Oh, sweet merciful Vishnu, someone's in for a very rude awakening...

Columbia Law postpones finals over Eric Garner ‘trauma’

They’re a long way from being hard-nosed litigators.

A group of Columbia University law students demanded the school postpone their finals because of their “trauma” over the Eric Garner and Michael Brown grand jury decisions.

And the bleeding-heart higher-ups bought it.

In an email to the entire school, Interim Dean Robert Scott said the decisions “have shaken the faith of some in the integrity of the grand-jury system and in the law more generally.”

Right. So, naturally, the way to cope is to postpone your critical law school tests because... Um... Yeah, I don't get it. I mean, if one of the people involved was a family member I could understand it, but aside from that, you ain't facin' trauma, buttercup. I got hit by a car halfway through grad school and still finished on time. That was trauma, literally.

I'm not surprised that the students would pull something like this. Heck, given the climate today, I'd be a little disappointed in them if they hadn't. But for Columbia to postpone finals? I have to tell you, if I were a Columbia grad, this is the kind of thing I would bring up the next time they called looking for money.

That's a hint, folks...

I really do wonder what's going to happen when these precious snowflakes get out in the real world. What happens when they take a job as an assistant DA and something bad happens - you know, like their favorite TV show gets canceled. Are they going to expect paid days off from work? Almost assuredly. My sister works for a law firm in Boston, and puts in something like 180 hours a week (may be a slight exaggeration, but not much). She's going to face competition from these sniveling little weiners? I think she went out drinking when she heard this news... (Note: she really didn't, because she has a JOB and effing commitments that go with it...)

At some point, the real world is going to rise up and smack these self-absorbed idiots (it's all about meeeeee and my pwecious feewings!) right on the backside. They're going to encounter a boss, or a neighbor, or a potential suitor who doesn't think the sun rises and sets in the crack of their asses, and it's going to shake their worldview mightily.

I just hope I'm there to point and laugh.

That is all.

Don't Punish The Car!

Joseph in IL sends in this clear-cut case of domestic violence... against a Corvette.

Police: Car dumped into river during divorce flap

A man going through a divorce sent the red Corvette his wife drives plunging into a river, triggering a search for a possible victim inside, police said.

Officers were called on Monday afternoon about a car in the Delaware River. A witness told them that a man had driven to the riverbank, gotten out and then let the car run into the river, police Inspector Scott Small said.

Why did it have to be a 'Vette? I guess because dumping a 1990 Camry into the drink would be a LOT less traumatic...

I'm just trying to think how on earth this moron thought he'd get away with it. What passes for a thought process there?

"Hmmm. Let me think. My wife and I are going through a messy divorce. She has a prized sports car. I'll go get it and dump it in the river. No one will ever guess it was me!"

Fortunately no one was hurt, and with any kind of luck this guy will get taken to the cleaners. I mean, that's clear-cut abuse of an icon right there.

Corvettes don't swim!

That is all.

Let Us Know How That Works...

Sweet merciful Vishnu. Stupid really should be painful.

Massachusetts town weighs nation's 1st tobacco ban

The cartons of Marlboros, cans of Skoal and packs of Swisher Sweets are hard to miss stacked near the entrance of Vincent's Country Store, but maybe not for much longer: All tobacco products could become contraband if local health officials get their way.

This sleepy central Massachusetts town of 7,700 has become an improbable battleground in America's tobacco wars. On Wednesday, the Board of Health will hear public comment on a proposed regulation that could make Westminster the first municipality in the United States to ban sales of all tobacco products within town lines.

Because, you know, this is really going to stamp out smoking in a town of 7,700 residents. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here. The town of Westminster is all of 37 square miles, about the same size as the small city next to the town I grew up in. You can drive across town in a half-hour, if there's a lot of traffic, and you traverse the long way. So, from the very center of the town you're no more than 15 minutes away from a town that *doesn't* have its head squarely inserted in its own rectum.

Any bets whether the geniuses behind this measure support marijuana legalization?

It's an awful lot like the town that banned bottled water. It's not going to stop anything. Heck, it's not going to even slow it down. Heck, the town isn't that far from New Hampshire where there's no sales tax and cigarette taxes are lower, anyways... Folks are still going to smoke. They're still going to buy their cigarettes from somewhere, only now it won't be in that town. It'll send smokers beyond the borders, decreasing revenue. Great plan, there, Westminster.

Did you stop alcohol sales, too? Because while we can debate whether or not secondhand smoke is real, dangerous, etc., there's no question that alcohol contributes to traffic fatalities and domestic abuse. Great job picking and choosing which sin to outlaw, you sanctimonious nitwits. You see, few people smoke. LOTS more drink. By banning cigarettes, you inconvenience a small number, risking nothing. By banning alcohol, you tick off most people, which is far riskier.

And make no mistake, fans of Budweiser: the nanny state has you squarely in their sights...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

Top. Men. Part II

We are in the very best of hands. And by that I mean WTF...

Shades of 'Fast and Furious': ATF Let Smuggler Take Grenade Parts to Mexico

In a case comparable to the botched “Fast and Furious” gun-running investigation, ATF agents and federal prosecutors in Arizona endangered public safety by allowing a suspect to smuggle grenade parts into Mexico for possible use by drug cartels, the U.S. Department of Justice’s inspector general reported Thursday.

The report said the Office of the Inspector General first learned of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) grenade parts sting during its investigation of Operation “Fast and Furious,” in which agents purposely allowed licensed firearms dealers to sell weapons to illegal straw buyers, hoping to track the guns to Mexican drug cartel leaders and arrest them.

Now, in all fairness, this happened around the same time as Fast & Furious, so I think that these are related incidents. It doesn't make it any less stupid, mind you. What rocket scientist gave the green light to this idea? "Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we let smugglers bring hand grenade components into Mexico so we can track them?" "Well, make sure you track them. Remember what happened to the rifles?" "Uh, gee Fred, I lost the grenades."

I honestly don't know which is scarier, that this was either some evil genius plan to generate public support for more gun control that went horribly wrong, or that the people in charge of the ATF really are this incredibly stupid. Both frighten me equally. Neither is terribly appealing, either. While the old saw is that we should never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity, this is pretty flippin' stupid.

It's frightening that I'd rather this be some diabolical plot poorly executed than just people dumber than a bag of hammers coming up with these ideas...

That is all.