What A (Good) Day

I'm having a super productive day, on only 3 hours' sleep last night.  WTF?  I only hope I don't crash when I'm out on my dinner date tonight.  That would not be good.

Take a look at these two.  From what I could tell, they are father and son.  I try not to judge, really I do, but mostly I can't help myself.  So I do it anyway and then tell myself I'm not being very nice.

Really.  Can you imagine passing on this butt ugly fashion trend to your own child?  I may have harmed my child in numerous ways, but at least she knows how to dress in public.  Most of the time.

So, the sleep thing.  I just wouldn't fall asleep.  I was awake until 3:30 a.m. and had an 8:00 a.m. appointment.  I treated myself afterwards to a soy latte at Temple Coffee, and stayed there to drink it.  The coffee table had some doodle books on them so I opened one up and was delighted by what I found.  All kinds of creativity and inspiration!  I wish people's comments on inter net news sites were as positive and productive.  People get so nasty and negative.  But this book, oh whoa, it was a joy to look at!  I left feeling fully caffeinated and uplifted by the drawings and writings of strangers.

I then gathered the cans, bottles, and glass together and headed out to the recycling center.  I've found one very close to our house, which is fabulous because normally I drive out to hell and back to get the job done.  So, with $14 more in my pocket I headed to Taylor's to get a very yummy veggie sandwich on wheat (aren't I being skillful today?) and drove on to the car wash.  I was sitting there eating my oh-so-healthy sandwich when I spotted these guys. 

Where are the fashion police when you need them?

The Topp Twins

Do yourself a great big ol' favor and watch this video.  Then watch the documentary "Untouchable Girls" about the Topp Twins of New Zealand.  I had never heard of this dynamic duo, who really rocked and rolled through through the last several decades, and are still at it.  They are the most original, hysterically funny and downright HUMAN people you'd ever want to meet.  Roger and Robin suggested the movie to me.



I just grinned ear to ear through the whole thing.  They are quite the sensation in other parts of the world...I feel as if I missed out on their heyday (boo, hiss) but at least I can watch them on film.  They also have many very very funny characters they play, such as Ken and Ken.  They do coffee commercials in NZ.

I love them. Notice how their outfit colors go with my blog background colors. Coincidence?

Friday Hilarity

It's Friday.  Not that it matters to me, but I realize there are a lot of people out there on the Monday through Friday treadmill, and I think all you hard working folks could use a couple of hearty laughs.  I'm here to deliver, my friends, because I care.


Go here to have your faith in humanity restored.


And then, while you are still feeling all warm and fuzzy, go here for some good belly laughs.  This particular video was made by someone that I knew quite awhile ago, and was sent to me by mutual friends.  I'm thinking the girls will especially enjoy this one.  They give me plenty of joy on Fridays -- the least I can do is return the favor.


Have a great weekend!

#####

Charles Dickens affirms that I have some usefulness on this earth:

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else."  

I hope I have lightened your burden today.  Namaste.

Busy

Well, judging from my many facebook posts yesterday, I am busy.  Leaving today for 3 days in the mountains in Downieville, attending Lynn and Kathy's wedding.  I am probably scaring off my fb friends with my frequent posts.  How do I squeeze them in between all my activities?  Why do I squeeze them in?

But last night, I had my first ever Pastitsio in the oven -- a greek casarole with ziti, ground lamb, spices galore, topped with a bechamel sauce baked golden brown.  Dad was going to make it but he has been crazy busy and I  decided that the sou chef was going to take it all the way home.  It was high-pressure cooking; dad is an excellent cook and very exacting.  You better believe I read and re-read that recipe and measured all ingredients.  It turned out to be wonderful tasting.

Also, listening to some new Janis Ian, since I found her fan page on facebook.  My Gawd but she is awesomely pure and strong.  She looks great, too.  I'd like to be her friend.  Perhaps she would like some Pastitsio....

Yesterday I managed to get in all of mom's exercises: stretching and walking.  It takes time, and she's got to be motivated.  I've learned I cannot ask her if she wants to do the work, I have to announce that it is time to do the work.  Sometimes she fights me.  Yesterday she did not.  Caregiving is a 24/7 job, my friends.

Meanwhile...on the entertaining diversions front, facebook controversies rage on...we, who have been hooked, do not want to give it up, but we are wary of the Big Brother aspect of it all.  On the news tonight, the report was about how the changes allow facebook to target advertising very specifically.  Remember that movie with Tom Cruise, where he's walking through public corridors and giant screen projections are talking directly to him, marketing? Minority Report.  We're not far from the year 2054, when the movie takes place, and judging by the current electronic ubiquitousness, we, too, will soon be walking down public walkways with holograms trying to sell us products:  "Tara...we know you've been wanting that new laser treatment for age spots...we can fit in an appointment between your dental cleaning and your meeting with AARP on Tuesday, November 8.  Please confirm by saying, 'confirm.'"

Oy.  You just wait and see.  We think we're busy now.

The Bright (and funny) Side of Life

Sometimes you've just got to laugh.  Thanks to the folks and Wake Up and Laugh for this!

Flashback

St. Patrick's Day, 2009.  My wife, my two daughters and my son-in-law. Have a good laugh.

Pepto Bismol and Bar Stools

Fun Factoid:  did you know that taking Pepto Bismol can turn two things on your person black?  Yes.  Your tongue and your, ah, stools.  After three days of, ah, black stools, I went to the doctor to make sure I didn't have any, ah,  internal bleeding.  (Factoid: Black, tar-like stools are a sign of internal bleeding.)

Well, doc takes one look at my tongue and asks, "By any chance, have you been taking Pepto Bismol?"  Christ Almighty.  I had run out of my regular prescription meds for acid reflux, and in desperation had turned to the Pink Juice of Lucifer.  Doc and I, we had a good, long laugh.  Now I'm sure she has me on a 'crazy' watch-list.

Then, to continue the stool theme, I see Joanna's post at the Fifty Factor.   A frolic on the topic of bar stools, and a give-away.  Head on over there if you want to see some weird human-barstool interaction, and enter a contest that might allow you to acquire your very own bar stool.

The world is truly a very small place.  Full of factoids and wonder, chock-full of opportunities to win.  Have a great weekend.

Skip the Valentine & Head for the Brownies

oh, NO WAY!

Checker at the grocery store, "You find everything you need?" Yours truly, "Yeah, and then some. I wasn't looking for that box of brownie mix, but it jumped into my cart." Checker, "Oh, I woulda like to have seen that!" Me, "Really. And when I tried to remove the box, it shocked me -- like, tased me! That Betty Crocker, she's a domestic terrorist!"  A "Mata Hari" as it turns, out, based on the company hiring Jennifer Love Hewitt as the new Betty.  Ick, ick, and more ick.  For those of you out of the loop, she's an actress, and a very bad one at that.

The Spy Herself

So, among the organic chicken, organic vegetables, bulk rice, 7th Generation dish soap, I came home with a box of "Family Size" Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie Mix. Well, I'd better get to it.

I have to ask, where is Homeland Security when you need them?

Watching the Wheels

Exciting, funny, "new" blog.  She's my kinda gal -- a stand-up comic and a writer.  Woo-hoo!

The post, above,  deals with projecting self-confidence.  One of the many things that struck me was her mention of soliciting articles for the company newsletter.  I used to coordinate the quarterly newsletter at my old job.  It was but one of the many thankless tasks I performed.  This newsletter was "top priority" in the department and I was constantly being "encouraged" to solicit articles, artwork, "uplifting" newsy bits for consumption by the disenfranchised and demoralized people of our department.

Not happy, apparently, with the volume of articles (or lack thereof), my boss instructed me to form a committee to coordinate this effort.  So I did, and now we had 10 people spinning their wheels fruitlessly soliciting articles from people who could care less.  Now I could have more meetings on my schedule, and whip up some enthusiasm within this newsletter committee, and demonstrate my leadership skills by putting out a newsletter the boss could be proud of.  What a good little worker bee I was.

When I retired in June 2009, this top priority, gleaming self-congratulatory newsletter retired as well.  I occasionally go back to the website to see if anyone has picked up the ball on this most-important project.  Care to speculate?  Go here and find out.  Yeah, that's right, I'll pull a Wikileaks.  Right here. Right now.

Oh Those Republicans

We are living in some crazy-ass times.

I Need Drugs to See Kathy

You'd think, after living most of my life with asthma, I would have a clue as to when I need medical intervention. Last night, all night, was a struggle, and it occurred to me to go the ER, but frankly I didn't have the energy. (First clue that I should have gone.) This a.m. I dragged myself to urgent care and was fortunate to get a doctor who hopped on board immediately upon hearing my symptoms and listening to my lungs. My saturation levels were down, my skin a deathly white. He's loaded me up on steroids (oral and inhaled) and cough medicine so I can finally sleep. He wants me to check in in a couple of days. He is determined that this not turn into pneumonia. I'm down with that.

Plus, tonight I'm seeing Kathy Griffin at a local venue. That just doesn't happen very often that we get big celebs in our little town. I shall be napping all afternoon in preparation.

A federal judge finally declares Don't Ask Don't Tell unconstitutional. A nut-job, running for public office of course, attacks the Girl Scouts for being baby-killing lesbians. Stupid people. I need comedy. Enjoy your weekend!

What is my Subconscious Telling Me?

Oh, what horrors!  I awoke from a dream wherein my retirement was - gasp - rescinded.  Seriously.  I was expected back in the office.  The whole thing was a dream.  "What is this? Stalin's Soviet Union?  Are you F*#%ing kidding me?"

Thank Jesus, Joseph & Mary: just a dream.  Whew.  I'd better go make some coffee in preparation for some navel gazing.

Too Much Time on My Hands

If you can forgive/ignore/dismiss my insane verbal antics, the dog is pretty cute.

Moments We'd Like to Forget

Here's one I bet the artist would have liked to burn, never again to see the light of day. Oh, Mr. Islam, say it ain't so. A Bad Night, Indeed!

Take it from a Catholic

I'm looking for laughs. Spent the night with my sick wife in the ER. She's home and better, but it was a scare. Is it normal to want to watch comedy for hours on end after a tense event?

Jim always makes me laugh. Enjoy.

Jim Gaffigan - Jesus - Beyond the Pale @ Yahoo! Video

Funny Friday

I originally posted this photo of mine waaayyyy back in June 2006! My friend Matt and my wife N. and I were walking the dogs at a local park.

Matt is wearing his boxer, Gunnar's, head. N. is wearing Shasta's head.

N. and I have discovered JibJab, and heaven help us. We get pretty hysterical when putting heads on the different card characters. We now want to start putting animal heads on the people. Where will it end? I don't care; we're having too much fun. As if.

Cockeyed Optimist

considering I just came back from San Diego, this really bonked me on my funny bone. Thanks Taz.

What Your Flip Flops Say About You

You are a warm, friendly person who simply enjoys life. You don't complicate things for yourself. Life is too short! You have a super optimistic attitude, and you have figured out how to be happy. Everyone wants to know your secret... and it's a lot more simple than they might think. Your ideal warm weather place: San Diego

The Flip Flop Test

*********************************

For my eldest niece, who turns 30 today. Keep on truckin',girl.

When the skies are brighter canary yellow
I forget ev'ry cloud I've ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green.

I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That we're done and we might as well be dead,
But I'm only a cockeyed optimist
And I can't get it into my head.

I hear the human race
Is fallin' on its face
And hasn't very far to go,
But ev'ry whippoorwill
Is sellin' me a bill,
And tellin' me it just ain't so.

I could say life is just a bowl of Jello
And appear more intelligent and smart,
But I'm stuck like a dope
With a thing called hope,
And I can't get it out of my heart!
Not this heart...

All Work and No Play? No way!

Work conferences. Bleh. We recently had yet another. Though relatively painless, you can see that people get very serious at these things. Then there's me: they gave each work group colored pipe cleaners, but failed to explain what these were intended for. So, I decided to liven up the work group with my fabulously ridiculous humor and apparently insatiable need for attention.

Later, on the chow line, the big boss glanced over, kinda looked taken aback, and then gave me the thumbs up signal. Ha! I'm either dead in the water or merely considered mentally ill. I was surprised more people didn't do wacky things with these pipe cleaners. What with all the budget cuts and year end burn-out, I think everyone's tired.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
Rita Mae Brown

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav Jung

I never set out to be weird. It was always the other people who called me weird.
Frank Zappa

How weird are you? What's the nuttiest thing you've ever done to get attention?

Gadabout

This is what grandma calls me this month:  a gad·about: Pronunciation: \ˈga-də-ˌbau̇t\ Function:noun Date:1837: a person who flits about in social activityA busy time.  Good busy, but busy nonetheless, and at a time when there are great questions about N.'s grandmas health.  Gadabout for 2 out of 3, no doubt:

I was in Sacramento  for 3 days to celebrate my nephew's high school graduation -- Go Lions!. This coming weekend I'll be at Tassjara Zen Center, ah, relaxation and quiet, and the following weekend I fly to San Diego to support my parents as they go through some needed medical procedures and will be there through Thursday.  Hang on, boys and girls, it's going to be bumby ride.  And all the while, N. and her family need to make big important decisions about  the grandparents, including, whether or not they are moving out of state.

I feel guilty at going away at such a crucial time.  I am ready and more than willing to adjust my plans if need be.