NaNoWriMo

I've decided to use NaNoWriMo this year as an opportunity (i.e., the external pressure I very much need to combat the distractions in my life) to finish my current novel and get myself into the habit of writing daily.

I have 60,000 words to go and really thought I would have finished this novel by now, but I just haven't put the hours in.

My critique partner signed up and has another writing friend that's participating. As a result of the solidarity and support, I think it's likely we will all complete our writing goals for the month.

If you are participating and want to buddy me, my user name is Tonjas Musings.

IWSG - January, 2013 - Going to the Dark Side

It's a new year and time for Insecure Writer's Support Group, hosted by Alex J Cavanaugh.  I hope to have a new year of encouraging posts rather than angst-filled ones.  We'll see.  You never know until you get there.

 

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In mid-December, I stated here that I would write 10 to 20 chapters in the second half of December.  I'm pretty sure I said it more than once.

But I had a problem with the gummy middle of my WIP, the novel I half-wrote during NaNoWriMo.  Each of the last few chapters were only partially done.  I was so burnt out on it that I labeled the last several chapters as "Chapter Next" instead of giving them a number. 

In the gooey, half-done chapters, my characters were in a church during a blizzard.  They were trapped there until I figured out how to build a bridge between that scene and the first chapter of the second half.  I was trapped there too.

I thought it would be easy to start clean in a future chapter where the sun was shining (very temporarily) and time had moved on.  So I outlined from the midway point of the novel, the point I hadn't quite gotten to yet, all the way to the end.  I tried, but I couldn't just pop forward in time and write the first chapter of the second half.  It was like I was paralyzed. 

I thought cleaning my desk would help.  It didn't.

So instead of starting fresh at the halfway point and easily writing the new chapters without worrying about the undercooked middle scene, I went back to finish the Chapter Next chapters.  The fact is I couldn't number my later chapters anyway until I knew how many chapters came before - apparently I'm a smidge too OCD to carry on with estimated chapter numbers. 

Very slowly at a rate of half a chapter a day, I fixed the three Chapter Next chapters and pushed through into the darkness until I cried with my characters and knew it was just right.  Then I wrote some new chapters, not ten or twenty, but enough. 

When I told my teen what I planned to write in the next few chapters, she stood up in horror and said, "Oh, God, Mom, that's so dark!"  And she left the room.  My husband and I giggled.  I must be doing something right.

My Teen

How awesome is it that I can ick out a teen like that with just the premise of a story?  It's not paranormal or sci-fi or fantasy.  There are no vampires or gruesome creatures.  No one is carrying an ax except to chop wood.  There aren't any serial killers or deranged people.  I do have one mean drunk that did at least one terrible thing while intoxicated, but he wasn't in the scene I described to my daughter.  It's a story that really could have happened.  It's just life. 

Sorry to tease you all - I don't want to give away what happens quite yet.  I can't wait to get it done so I can get my CP's reaction.  Apparently my teen won't be volunteering to read this one.

This month I feel very secure about my ability to go to the dark side in my writing while keeping it real.  I hope that next month's post will be about how secure I feel about finishing it.  Maybe not.

What do you feel secure about in your writing?

If you'd like to sign up for this monthly group hug or read through the post of the other participants, go to Insecure Writers.  We love comments (except for the anonymous kind with questionable links), so don't be shy.

A Query Letter for a Dark Comedy

In my inevitable post-NaNoWriMo freak out over what to do next, I decided to edit a novel I wrote a couple of years ago.  I started thinking about whether I could get it published traditionally, which led me to think about query letters.  I am apparently over my queryletterophobia mostly, but I can't seem to get this one right - I'm not even close. 

It's a dark comedy.  When I told my sister the premise of the story, she laughed out loud.  But when I attempted to write the query letter four separate times, the story sounds depressing.  I wouldn't want to read it. 

I sent my best version to my critique partner.  Maybe I need to work on it over a margerita or two.

I'll share it here when I get it to the point where the story sounds entertaining. 

NaNoWriMo - To Hell with the Word Count

Last year, when I first attempted NaNoWriMo, I drank the Kool-aid and then vomited up 20,000 words before I realized it wasn't good.  I wrote until I got writer's high - writer's nirvana, as one of my friends calls it - and I kept writing.  I'm surprised there aren't rainbows and butterflies in those chapters...actually, maybe there are.

I was more than a little depressed about the wasted effort (mommies of three-year-olds don't have a minute to waste).  I stopped writing for about six weeks and questioned my ability as a writer.  Uncool.

This year I vowed to do NaNoWriMo again, but by my terms.  I decided not to get caught up in the word count.  I planned to write one quality chapter at a time and edit after writing a few - because this is the process that works for me.  I would use the hype of the month to keep me moving - and to give my family a relatively concrete reason to give me blocks of time to write (which they have). 

Something happened yesterday as I approached 30,000 words...I became obsessed with the word count.  And my Muse sprinted away.

I was writing just to add numbers to the awesome graph on the NaNo site.  But my plot was murky. My chapters weren't contained units.  The the last sentence of the last few chapters sucked - and yet I kept writing. 

Today I refuse to add new chapters until I fix the three or four chapters that aren't good.  To hell with the word count - it doesn't mean a thing if it's not quality work. 

If I do nothing but fix these chapters before the end of the month, it's a win.  And I will have proven to myself that I can write half of a quality novel in a month, a pace I would love to keep up over the next year.

To those of you racing to the finish line, carry on.  I'm dropping out but am still cheering you on.

NaNoWriMo - I'll be Back When it's Done

My clothes dryer broke yesterday, so I was lucky enough to have two hours to write at the laundromat while laundering six loads.  I brought a journal and pen since my headache had flared up again.  The second I got into the story, my daughter finished a math problem and started chatting with me.  I didn't hear a word she said.

I am only at 11,000 words this morning, not including my handwritten words yesterday.  The little graph on the NaNoWriMo site tells me I can still get to 50K words if I write about 3000 words a day through the end of the month.  I think I have it in me.  I know my story and my characters, where the plot turns, and how it ends.  If my week of migraines is over (please let it be over), it's within the realm of reason that I can pound it out.  And it won't be crap (like it was last year).

I tend to write the bare minimum on a first draft and add words on the second, third, fourth, ... twelfth draft.  So I could write the entire first draft of a whole novel in fifty thousand words.

My plan for the next two weeks:  coffee, write, exercise, clean and take care of kids, repeat. 

I am going to commit to not return here until I'm done - even if that takes me into December.  I'm sure you all will understand. 

Have a lovely holiday.  I'm not feeling good about the annual slaughter of the turkeys - we might have tofu instead.  My husband will cry, but he'll be happy when he gets to the desserts (I almost spelled that desert).

 

Migraines, NaNoWriMo, and a Thanksgiving Wish

This whole week, I've been suffering from migraines and the effects of the migraine meds.  The medicine took away the issues with my vision and immediately wiped out the pain, but made me feel like my mind had been sanitized - think Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  I didn't lose memories (that I know of), but my creativity was pretty much wiped out.  And the headache was prolonged - I usually only have one day every few weeks where I'm incapacitated.  I've had to take the meds almost every day this week.  I'm not sure if the medicine made it linger or not. 

I feel mostly OK this morning, so I'm going to write, assuming my husband and small one, who are working on their computers downstairs, quiet down and the glare of the computer screen doesn't trigger another headache. 

My NaNo novel is way behind schedule - I'm at just below 10,000 words right now.  Under the circumstances, I think that's huge progress, and I'll count it as a win.

The cool thing is I let my husband read what I've written so far.  He liked it even more than my last story.  I think I do too.

This morning I have the difficult task of writing a scene where there's some pretty serious domestic abuse happening to characters I love.  I can see the chapter in my mind and know exactly how I want to do it technically, but that's going to be a difficult chapter to write - probably the most difficult one I've ever attempted.  Maybe I need a snack first...and a fresh box of tissues. 

Sorry I haven't been around much this week.  I need to get this chapter written and hopefully a few more this weekend.  I need to put first things first - I'm sure you all understand, and I hope you do the same.

I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving.  I am very thankful for all of you and for all of the support and sense of community you've given me over this past year in particular. I'm thankful for all of the things (even the bad ones) that have brought me to this point in my life.  Despite my sucky week, I can honestly say I'm happy with my life. (I realize that statement is probably going to trigger a landslide of things that will make me unhappy - the universe must be in balance after all.)

Light Shows and Kaleidoscopes in my Eyes

As I'm sure you all know, it's NaNoWriMo time.  I have the participant badge on my sidebar.  I don't believe in writing a pile of words just to achieve a word count, but I do like the motivation it gives me to push myself farther than I normally would.  I should be writing furiously.  But I'm not.

The problem is I got a migraine yesterday.  If you don't have migraines, you might not know it's not just a headache - it's a headache with an "aura" effect.  Plainly put, it's like a laser light show in your eyes that stays with you even when your eyes are shut.  Sometimes it's a very annoying kaleidoscope in my left eye. 

For me, any attempt to look at a computer screen or focus my eyes on small things like words on a page makes the pain portion of the thing worse in intensity and duration.  The only thing to do is to lay down in a dark, quiet place for 24 hours, sometimes more.

I approached this month with some optimism that the migraines wouldn't set me back much on my writing goals - my doctor gave me some samples of medications he said would probably work really well.  They did.  And I couldn't stay awake.  I slept most of the day yesterday and also through the night from just one pill yesterday morning. 

The odd thing is that I feel fine, but my Muse is still asleep, hopefully not dead completely.

I can function - by that I mean I can do dishes and vacuum and do stay-at-home-motherly things.  But it's pretty clear to me I'm not going to be able to write fiction this morning. 

I will take the opportunity to fully feel this strange, completely uncreative feeling I'm overcome with and use it for good.  I tend to write about people with mental illness, and my current WIP is no exception - I think my MC will feel this way, but with more intensity after a traumatic event happens to her.  The thing that makes her her will go into a coma and she won't know who she is anymore. 

It's too risky to read a computer screen today - I'm starting to have a little bit of trouble focusing my eyes on what I'm typing.  I'll catch up on your posts later in the week.

NaNo Update

I'm astounded at the number of words some of my NaNoWriMo writing buddies have accomplished this month.  Holy cow.  One person logged more than 19,000 words in three or four days.  I'm guessing she either has extreme self-discipline or no children at her heels.  I bet her house is a mess.  Mine is too, but I'm certain it would be worse if I had spent the weekend writing.

I've only completed 3,700 words and honestly only wrote 2 out of 4 days, but I'm really happy with the way my story is coming along.  If I only get a handful of really great chapters this month, it's a win for me.

My next chapter, the one I need to write as soon as I get the rest of my children off to school, is not clear.  I know what needs to happen, but it's a chapter of subtle details, and I don't have the details pinned down quite yet.  I might just leave a place-holder page with a quick summary and move on.  I'm definitely in the mood to write today, so I think I might just get caught up.  Maybe not - I should be at 8300-something words today.

What did I accomplish this weekend?  I cleaned a lot, and I went swimming and walking twice.  I gained a pound from the Halloween candy and probably will gain another - my daughter made tarts this weekend.  Even with the extra calories and pound(s), I feel great from the exercise.  I have a herniated disk, and the swimming is making an immediate difference. 

The unexpected benefit from exercise for me is it helps me sleep.  About an hour and a half after the exercise is over, it's like I took a sleeping pill.  So I'm well-rested today, but I napped when I should have been writing.

Sorry for all the me, me, me, my, my, my posts lately.  Maybe I'll do a post later about some of my research on coal mining towns. 

Gearing Up for NaNoWriMo

In about three and a half hours, NaNoWriMo starts. I know I could start now, but I'm a rule follower - at least on day one. 

This evening, I have been sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop doing last minute research for my NaNo novel, only getting up to answering the occasional ring of the doorbell by trick-or-treaters.  On a normal day, I could catch children with a large butterfly net in my back yard.  But it's cold and raining, a very sucky Halloween. 

I found the car for my opening chapter - a 1927 Ford Model T Runabout pickup, one of the last Model T cars made.  I found documentation on how to operate it.  In my story, it has been donated to the church by the wife of a mine operator.  She wants the minister to give sermons to the miners and their families that live in the coal town - word is there's a lot of venereal disease among the miners (apparently there was).  She thinks prayer and song will cure them all. 

The MC in my story is the preacher's daughter.  In chapter one, she meets a young miner who will be her husband.  Later in the story, for reasons I don't want to tell you now, she goes insane.  Her husband becomes the MC for the second half of the story because she's never herself again.

As I sat at the kitchen table, I was determined to nail down the details for the opening chapter, including the particular coal town (which thankfully is long since out of business, so I assume I can use it's real name without worrying about being sued should my odd novel ever get published and be read by enough people to warrant a law suit).  

I tried to bounce ideas off my husband.  But he wasn't listening.  At one point, I made eye contact with him and thought I had him, but he went to get a snack while I was mid-sentence and left the room.  Several minutes later, he served my young one a snack at the table, pulled up a chair across from me, and started talking to me and not about my novel - at which time I felt like I would go insane and never be myself again. 

*Sigh*

So I've got my story ready to go despite the overwhelming urge to completely change gears earlier today and in spite of the thing where my family isn't really going to give me a break.  I just need one to two hours a day without interruption or annoyance for 30 days.  (I am smiling now that I wrote that - it's not going to happen.)

Healthy Writers Club

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for Healthy Writer's Club, hosted by Shallee McArthur.  This is supposed to be posted on Friday, but I'll do it now since I'm two weeks behind schedule.

I got my physical on Friday.  I told my doctor I want to get back to my normal weight - 30 pounds less than my current weight.  The problem is I have nerve damage in my foot and my leg.  And a herniated disk in my back.  I can walk a mile but not fast enough to break a sweat.  I can ride my exercise bike or real bike for ten minutes - but that inevitably results in a muscle spasm in my hip that aggravates the damaged nerve. 

My doctor pondered it and decided I need to swim.  I said no.  He asked why not.  I said I hate it.

He said I need to do it anyway - its my only hope.  I told him I don't know how.  He said I should take lessons.  He played Jedi mind tricks on me until I agreed to swim laps with him - not literally with him, that would be awkward.  By the time I left, we agreed to make it a goal for both of us - one hour a week of swimming no matter what.

(BTW, he also gave me samples of two kinds of migraine meds - enough to last me 6 months.  Fingers crossed that they work.)

So I decided to get a day pass at the community center near my house to try it out before I commit to the monthly fee.  My husband went with me.  We had fun - actual fun where we smiled and enjoyed each other's company.  It was sort of like a date.  He went in first to see how high the water was - only 4 foot.  That seemed safe, so I got in next.  We swam laps as best we could next to the lap lanes (which were deeper) but inside the kid pool section. Whenever we needed to stop, we did. I don't like putting my face in the water, so I didn't.  The lifeguard kept staring at me.  I kind of appreciated it.  

My husband has apparently been suffering from exercise-induced asthma his whole life (as have I).  We both used our inhalers before we left the house.  And we both did great. 

He was like a kid that tried chocolate for the first time.  He kept describing to me how different it felt to be able to swim a lap and breathe at the same time.  He's never been able to enjoy exercise.  I honestly thought he was just lazy.  He just couldn't breathe.  I don't remember seeing him that happy since the day our baby was born.

We signed up for a pass and went back again today.  I'm hoping to get to my goal/normal healthy weight by April.  Maybe sooner.

For November, I'm doing NaNoWriMo and also plan to swim every day that I can and walk on the other days.  And I'm going to make the daily exercise habit a priority over NaNo.  Swim first, write later.

On Revisions and Dark Comedies

The revisions I'm doing are going much slower than anticipated.  I was hoping to get half of the manuscript edited to final or almost final quality by Halloween, just before the start of NaNoWriMo.  It is not going to happen.  Not even close - I think I'll have a quarter of the novel edited. 

I can live with the slow pace because I feel like this will be the (almost) last round of edits.  It's very close - like when when you stick a knife in a cake and there's only a tiny bit of uncooked goo inside.  

This is a work I'll be proud to say I wrote - except I don't think I'll want my kids or parents to read it.  It's very dark, so dark that, if my grandma were alive to read it, I'm certain she'd be praying for me and telling everyone that something is definitely wrong with me.

I started a query letter for this novel a few weeks ago after crying about it here.  In the letter I had a hard time explaining the genre.  It's a dark comedy, and it's women's fiction.  I suspect putting those two genres together isolates a large population of readers.  I wonder how many women enjoy dark comedies.  I equally wonder how many people that love the dark comedies also love women's fiction. 

I'm sure someone will read it and will laugh at the tragedy.  First, I must finish it....

Do you like dark comedies?  Women's fiction?  Do you think it would be odd to combine dark comedy with historical fiction?  I think my NaNo novel is headed toward the dark side.... I can't help myself.

Thoughts on NaNoWriMo

I signed up for NaNoWriMo this year.  Last year I didn't enjoy it, not even a little.  I got a migraine the first week, so I got behind schedule.  I tried doubling up the second week and got incredibly burnt out.  I hadn't planned out my novel as well as I should have.  And I shared some chapters that weren't edited with my writing group, and felt miserable about it.  I ended up setting the half-a-novel aside permanently, which is too bad - it could have been a great story.  Now it's just a loathsome symbol of failure. 

So this year, my goal is not necessarily to write a novel (although I'd love to pop out the whole thing - all 75 or 80 thousand words, not just 50).  It's to keep up the pace of writing a chapter or two a day while remaining happy about it. 

I love writing.  My best days are the days when I completed a chapter in the morning.  The rest of the day is always relatively good. 

I refuse to let NaNoWriMo make me miserable this year.  The point (for me at least) is to write in solidarity with a lot of people and get in the habit of writing daily - and to knock out a chunk of a novel I was going to write anyway.

Anyone else have a love/hate relationship with NaNoWriMo?

Off to edit a chapter....

Edits, Exterminators, and NaNoWriMo

Progress on edits:

In the last two mornings during my mental meltdown over the mice, I was able to edit eight chapters of my WIP that my writing partner marked up for me, five of them this morning while waiting somewhat impatiently for the exterminator.  They aren't the final edits, but I feel great about the changes and amazingly lucky to have such a talented CP.

Tomorrow (unless a mouse runs across my foot or shows it's little face) I am going to jump back into final edits.  I was hoping to do a chapter a day in October.  At least I kept writing on days that were difficult instead of making excuses.

I have made plenty of excuses about exercise. I have done zero - although I think I may have burned some calories in my cleaning frenzy yesterday.

And I'm having a hard time keeping up with comments and reading other blogs while obsessing over revisions and rodents.  I'm sure you all understand.


Exterminator update:

The dude walked into my garage and found tons of mouse poop.  Definitely mouse poop.  Apparently he can tell the animal from what it leaves behind and explained in great detail how to tell if it's fresh.  Awesome.

He thinks they will go to the attic, where they will eat the rodinocide (cool word, no?) and then they will leave the house and soon go to the spirit in the sky.  I prefer to be humane about removing creatures from my home, but I can't cope with this. 

He also thinks it's going to be a problem if they crawl into an open bag of cheesy chips.  My kids did not clean their rooms yesterday.  Today is the day.  And now I'm a bit of an expert on mouse poop.  Hopefully there isn't any under the stinky laundry in their rooms.  Must remember to wear gloves.



NaNoWriMo update:

I've got the badge on my sidebar and signed up.  I added a little graph for my word count.  If you want one, go to http://www.svenjaliv.com/wordmeter/.

I've decided I'm not going to write through Thanksgiving.  I need time with my family, and, well, I like cooking on Thanksgiving Day with my kids.  So I'm going to try to double up the first few days and write more than 2,000 words a day so I won't have to write as much at the end of the month. 

Honestly, it would be cool to finish the whole novel, not just the first 50K. 

Just an observation - the regional group in the area I live in is run by teens.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.  Good reason to stay off the forums and just write.

I had to change my user ID because, well, the system said my email didn't exist when it did the day before.  I'm not sure I care. 

Slow and Steady....

I finally got back into my groove - the groove I was in last winter and the winter before that when I was writing or editing every day while my small person was at preschool, many evenings while my older kids did homework, and on the weekends every chance I could get.

I'm back.  And I feel very happy.

My plan for October was to edit a chapter a month of my last WIP - hopefully final edits - or at least close to final edits. 

It's going very well.  Today is the 8th and I'm editing chapter 7 today.  On my calendar where I jotted down my goals, I didn't include weekends.  I only included a chapter a day Monday through Friday.  I thought a chapter would take me an hour, but it's taking me more like two hours sometimes more. 

I feel great about my progress.  And about the edits.  The chapters I have finished feel done - done enough to submit.  I'm having a little bit of writer's high, so I may revoke that statement later and opt to revise again.

I do feel like I'm going to be ready for NaNoWriMo next month.  I'm making my writing a priority and am blocking out chunks of time.  I'm not making excuses...at least not as many.

I have an hour left today...now or never.  I'd honestly rather sleep, but it's time to write. 

I Think I Can...I Think I Can...I Think I Can

One of my favorite stories to read to my little guy (and each of his siblings before him) is this version of The Little Engine That Could.  You can't really tell, but it's a board book, and the book itself is the shape of the train. 

When I read it to my kids, we repeat the phrases, "I think I can," and "I thought I could," over and over again - way more times that is listed in the book - until we are completely filled with optimism.  The one thing I think makes a difference in any child's life is believing in themselves.  We cannot do anything we don't think we can do.  And we need to acknowledge our successes - even the small ones.

I know I've been whining a lot here about how much I am struggling to find the time to write and to set adequate goals for myself.  I'm sick of it and am ready to just get busy...except I'm still sick.  My doctor thinks I'll be back to normal by Monday.  Fingers crossed.

This morning I came up with a plan that feels good.   I decided to sign up for NaNoWriMo again.  I know I've failed twice and suffered greatly for my failure.  The act of committing to it seems to trigger anvils to fall from the sky.

But the need to clear my plate before the start date is very motivating for me.  Each time I've tried this adventure, I failed at the word count, but I've been successful at finishing other projects before day one.

So this is my plan...

1.  I'm going to complete final (yes, FINAL!) edits to half of my last WIP, One Small Betrayal, by October 31. 

2.  I'm going to write as much as I can of one of my new novels during NaNoWriMo in November.  It's a win even if I don't write 50,000 words because, well, any words are better than no words.  My husband has agreed to bake the turkey and alternate vegetarian meal.

3.  In December, I'm going to cope with the inevitable post-NaNo depression and burn-out by editing the last half of One Small Betrayal and writing query letters.

I've heard it's not a good idea to send out query letters in December because publishers get flooded with submissions from NaNoWriMo, so maybe February 1 is a better date to mail the query letters.


Are you doing NaNoWriMo?  If you want to be my writing buddy (I think they have writing buddies), let me know.  I'm registered as Tonja - lucky for me my first name is spelled weird.  I think the official 2012 NaNoWriMo signup is next week at NaNoWriMo.org.

BTW, I'm still behind on reading posts.  Must nap first.

Camp NaNoWriMo?

I realize I have said more than once that if I ever signed up for NaNoWriMo again or even mentioned I was considering it that someone should hunt me down and slap me hard until I remember how thoroughly unenjoyable that was for me in 2011.

However, this is different.  This is camp.  And you can't take camp that seriously, can you?

What I learned last November was really important for me to learn: 

1.  Writing without editing at all is insanity for me, and the end result is fifty thousand words of crap and a lot of wasted hours followed by six weeks of writer's block, melodrama, and borderline depression.

2.  Writing for more than two hours at a time isn't good for me.  It uses me up.

3.  I prefer to write 10K of something good than 50K or 100K of rambling crap. 

A tiny bit of external pressure to finish the last nine chapters of my current WIP is not a terrible idea. It's actually perfect timing. 

I was going to start something new in June anyway ... or maybe rewrite something I may have written badly last November.  It's a beach story.  And I'll be at the beach.  How perfect is that?

My plan is to write for 1-2 hours a day every day without obsessing over word count.

If anyone else is doing this and wants to hang out in a virtual cabin with me, that would be super.  My user name is Tonja.

Is it just me, or would it be super fun to have a real gathering of writers at the beach next to the Tiki bar writing away while the kids swim and the ocean waves crash?  I don't think the beach will be electronics-friendly, so I think I'm going to need to kick it old school and use a journal on the beach and type on the balcony at night.  What could be better?

My First Post-NaNoWriMo Chapter

Two nights this week, I sat at my daughter's martial arts class and worked on a new chapter to a novel I started last spring (Betrayal in the sidebar).  I had prepared a detailed outline, character sketches, and chapter openings. I had the thing sectioned into five logical parts and even wrote the ending. When my medical issues climaxed over the summer, I set it aside. 

I figured I could easily pick it up again since I had the outline and the first ten thousand words.  But the last chapter I wrote ended in January; the next one needed to jump to June. The issue is I need to get to June without recounting the details of the time between while also connecting the January chapter to the June one. Tricky.

I just came out of NaNoWriMo mode, where you write for quantity, not quality.  I cannot say how much that did not - will not ever - work for me.  I'm a fast writer, like well more than 1000 words a hour, but writing blind is not good for me.  It's hard to start writing again in 'normal' mode after spending a month writing differently followed by two weeks of not writing at all. 

So I took a paper journal with me to karate class.  I haven't used a pen and paper to write a chapter in a very long time, but I needed to slow it down a bit.  I needed to figure out what I wanted to write and how I would get from January to June without going to the months in the middle.  I wanted to get back to writing images that stick with you instead of counting words.  It was the equivalent of sketching before painting.  It felt good, like the exact way I needed to approach it.

Both nights, people kicked pads through the air, broke boards, and did all their karate things while I jotted down thoughts and dialogue and perfected the subtle details of the chapter.  Last night I added one scene to the chapter that made me want to cry, I felt so bad for the main character. 

As I held back my tears, I imagined how a class full of teens and adults who were in complete bad-ass mode would react if I started crying while writing in my notebook with my feet propped up on a chair. 

I kept writing until I ended of the chapter (no tears).  As I watched the last few minutes of class, I realized how good it feels to be back to writing again, writing how I like to do it - crafting details with a crowd of people around me who have know idea what I'm doing.  Today I'm feeling bad-ass too.

Must Find Time to Write

I finally feel like writing again after an extended NaNoWriMo hangover (no alcohol involved). 

I started feeling excited about writing on Friday afternoon just before my husband very cautiously told me he had to work all weekend again.  Sound suspicious, I know, but he worked from home, suffering right in front of us in the family room.

For those of you without small children, one cannot write with a small person running around.  My husband normally attends to our little guy on the weekend so I can check out and write. 

The thing that makes me certain I should write is this: I'm kind of grouchy when I don't. 

I won't have time to write until this evening, but I have a plan of what to do.  I'm going to set aside my NaNo novel and resume writing a novel I started last spring just before my back and foot injury flared up. 

I don't like my NaNo novel.  I don't like it that I rushed through it.  I'm a very productive writer when I write the way I like to write.  I suppose it's good that I tried it, but I won't do it again.  If I can get through this month and get myself back on schedule, I think I'll find my happy writing groove again.

On a side note, my kids and I used up the bookstore gift card my dad gave us last week.  It seems I own every fiction book I want.  Same is true for my daughter and son.  My daughter and I bought history books (and then went to the movie store and bought historical movies and documentaries).  My middle son bought Legos - that's right, Legos at the bookstore.  And we picked out Thomas the Tank Engine books for my preschooler.  My little guy was so excited.  He said, "I want ALL of the Thomas Tank Engine books."  Now he has them all.

  

December Slow Down

I have not written a word of fiction in December - I know it's only day 3, but I normally write on Fridays and Saturdays.  I think NaNoWriMo did me in.  I only wrote on eight or nine days, but I overdid it every one of those days.  I was initially planning on finishing my NaNo novel in December, but I might set it aside and pick up my partially finished novel from the summer.  I guess I'll decide on Monday, when my muse is all rested and ready to get back to work.  I have two pieces completed that still need some edits, so I could work on them if nothing else.  The idea of completing something by the end of December appeals to me a lot. 

My writing class/critique group this fall has been a bit of a disappointment.  Normally a class gives me momentum, a push forward.  This class met every other week, and it didn't give me even the tiniest bit of external pressure to keep moving.  I did meet my goal - to finish the edits on my last novel in addition to writing 20K of something new - but I did that on the weeks I missed class, not because of the class.

I like the idea of signing up for another class for the winter if only to put myself in the company of other writers and to force myself to leave the house instead of hibernating inside in my pajamas.  I like the idea of meeting a new group of people and reading my fiction to them - and I equally hate the idea.  I hate it because it will take me weeks to feel comfortable. And once I feel comfortable, it will be over. 

So I'm slowing down for December.  I will likely slow down here as well. 

I probably just need more coffee or a vitamin or something.... 

NaNoWriMo Burn Out

One thing I learned this month is that I am capable of writing four thousand words a day - not much more than that.  At the 4000th word, I get loopy and my story starts going in strange places.  And then for two days I don't want to write.  And there's no amount of encouragement or positive energy anyone can throw me that will make me want to write. 

It's kind of like eating a quart of ice cream in one day or at one sitting (not that I've done that).  I would enjoy it while I was eating it, but there's no way I would want to have anymore for a very long while. 

I definitely prefer writing at a pace of a chapter a day, 1000-2000 words.  That is definitely more sustainable for me.