Progress...Or Maybe Lack Of

Two days ago I finished my novel.  I wrote a post here congratulating myself and then felt rude about it, so I deleted it.  I was excited to resume work on my NaNo novel and had a feeling that I could actually finish it - not just my half goal, but the original 50K goal.  And then personal stuff got in the way and stopped me in my tracks. 

I don't think I will feel like writing today.  I feel like going back to bed after I herd my children to school.  One of my characters is depressed, so maybe I can call it research. 

One thing I did do yesterday, that I feel very good about, is I researched publishers.  It didn't fill me with anxiety, didn't frustrate me, and wasn't overwhelming.  Definitely a step in the right direction.

I hope your day is productive and doesn't include "research" - unless what you really need is a nap.

Excuses, Excuses

I got my fancy NaNoWriMo stamp-looking thing and am signed up.  I have all the chapters outlined.  I know my characters.  I'm ready to go. 

Except that one thing - I'm not done editing my last novel. 

I have nine chapters to go.  Nine chapters that the universe doesn't want me to have the opportunity to finish by Halloween.  I know it's wrong to blame the universe - and very risky - it might get you in ways you least expect. 

I expected my husband to be a huge help when he returned from his trip - instead he is quite sick and honestly is kind of annoying me - not because he's sick but because he won't just let me take care of things.  He keeps trying to help.  The conversation to get him back onto the couch is really wearing me down.  It's making me irritable.  When I say, "Don't do anything, just rest and I'll do the dishes," he hears, "Do the dishes."  It would be comical if it didn't spike my blood pressure.

I expected to be done with physical therapy this week, but my PT said something like, "Well, maybe not," this morning.  I tend to agree.

I do have a writing class tomorrow and the external pressure to bring something in, something not entirely half-assed since I have missed two out of four classes so far because of things out of my control.  I kind of feel like skipping tomorrow, but that would make it even more difficult to show up for the next one.  The nice thing about class is it is story time - very expensive story time - where everyone reads a snippet of their work out loud. 

If nothing else, the need to prepare something, anything, for class will give me motivation to edit at least the first of the nine remaining chapters.  Once I'm through one, more will follow.  I have three hours tomorrow assuming no one needs me and no one is sick and my back cooperates.  Maybe I can work on it tonight after everyone else is asleep.

On a side note, I got a new fancy pants digital SLR camera.  I took some pictures, and they kind of sucked, but my daughter took a hundred, and they were amazing.  She fell in love with the camera and volunteered to be my photographer. 

I am going to drop out of blogworld again for a while until I can get through these last nine chapters.

Inspiration in the Shower

This morning, I have a lot of work to do - writing work, critique work for someone else who is coming over this evening so we can share.  And my house is a mess - a mess to the point that it is very distracting.  I could take pictures so those of you without kids could have a shocking 'Holy Crap' moment and double up on the birth control.  Those of you with kids know it's a fact that toys have a way of spreading out to fill whatever space is available, kind of like a flash flood that never recedes.

I need to get busy finishing up the end of my novel, the part that should be the easiest to finish.  But the thing where it's almost done makes it very difficult to physically put my hands on it. 

So instead of doing what I planned to do this morning with the only three hours I have to myself this week, I took a shower, a long shower.  A shower of procrastination. 

Just as I thought about giving up on this writing gig (temporarily at least - just a break, I told myself), the details for a new story I've been thinking about worked itself out in my mind while a 5 minute deep conditioner sat on my head.  It's a freaky sci-fi medical horror kind of story with a little romance - a YA story, because that's what you want your teens to read, right? 

I can see the characters.  The opening scene rolled in my mind like a YouTube video.  The resolution (very sad but wonderful), the connection between the first and last chapter, and the details (mostly) of the medical horror aspect as well as the social-political conflict all came to me like I had been working on it in a background process in my mind for months.  Very cool.   

Now I feel motivated to finish my last chapters (only eight left) of the novel I'm currently editing, so I can write this one maybe next month.  It's good to have too many options for NaNoWriMo - and for future work even without that.  Very good. 

Thank you, Shower Muse.

Unplugged

I need to disconnect for a while until I get my chapters done.  I am going to follow the lead of several of you and work on my neglected manuscript as a priority. 

I did get a lot done today.  I finalized the first third of my novel into a PDF so I can distribute it to my beta readers - one is going to read it on his Nook.  I made a very pretty cover (procrastination) and printed four copies (procrastination).  Once that was all done, I edited the four chapters that come before the spot where I need to insert four new ones.  I printed them off for my sanity (more procrastination).  Then I wrote four sentences of the new chapter I intended to write today, yesterday, last week, and last month.  (Four seems to be my number today.)  Four sentences is better than zero words....

At least I feel super organized about the work I need to do.  I have several chapters I need to tear apart and rearrange in the middle third of my novel.  Some of the text needs to go into the new chapters.  I need to work this all out first before I write that 5th sentence. 

I'm going to approach it like I'm fixing bad code in an application.  I'm going to mark up the sections (probably on paper and maybe with colored sharpies just for fun) that need to move and label them where they need to be inserted.  Then I can cut and paste it electonically (not actual glue).  That sounds crazy, but I think it will work.  It's definitely going to take some effort and time, but maybe it will take my mind off of worrying about what my beta readers will think about the first part of my story.... 

Maybe they think it sucks. 

Maybe they won't laugh at the funny parts. 

Or they'll think the tragic parts are super lame. 

Or, worse, they'll tell me they like it just to be nice.

The panic won't set in until I actually hand the chapters to people.  I am holding off on emailing one now - it's possible the lines above repeating in my mind will keep me from sleeping.  I really want to sleep tonight. 

I know all writers think these same things, so no worries - I'll survive.  I'm actually super excited to be at the point where I'm asking people to read my chapters and give honest feedback.  It's kind of cool to be this far and to know it's not good form to use the phrase "kind of."

I only have one morning - a total of three hours a week - to write over the next few weeks unless I want to use the super early morning hours to write (I don't).  I tried to write at PT, but it was not a good idea.  So I'm going to steal and hour here and a half hour there, the time I usually spend reading your blogs and commenting.  I'm sure you all will understand and would do the same thing.

Hopefully I can catch up on my blog reading on the weekends - or the early morning hours after I wake up child 1 and before I wake up child 2.  Once number 3 is up, my time is his.  But he's super cute, so it's not that bad of a thing.

Thanks for all of your encouragement and positive energy!
 

A Haiku Kind of Weekend

My daughter is a fantastic writer, but she doesn't want to be told what to write and doesn't want to read her words aloud, especially if she didn't get to choose the subject or poetic form.

Her assignment this weekend for her sophomore English class is to write five short, haiku-like poems.  She has a long list of onomatopoetic words she and her classmates are encouraged to use in their tiny poems.  It is very likely she will have to read one in class.  Did I mention she's a perfectionist?

So a somewhat simple assignment has been made very difficult because she's fighting it and will not be satisfied until it feels perfect to her. 

I, on the other had, am excited and want to do it too.  I really need to write four new chapters, the ones I've been putting off, so this is an excellent diversion for me.

Every day of this long weekend, I am going to sit outside or go for a walk with my daughter and observe nature with composition books and word list in hand.  I'm confident by the end of the weekend, we will have a collection together of twenty or more.  

Too bad she's unwilling to write five poems about how much she hates this assignment.  She would be done in three minutes.

I need to look up haiku format now that I figured out how to spell it.  Have a great weekend!