Purpose

I feel like I'm going to have a great year.  I always have things to write, but sometimes what to focus on is an issue because I have so many things partially done.  It makes me feel a little lost and I jump around from one project to the next each month.

This week my CP gave me her thoughts on the ending of my previous WIP.  I have some revisions to do - I need to introduce a couple of characters and a subplot sooner (the fact is I hadn't thought of it until the end of the first draft, so that's where I put them).  I've never been more excited to start revisions.  It's close.  Pretty close.  Maybe not as close as I think, but close enough.

It feels awesome to have two achievable goals for the next five or six months and a clear sense of purpose (besides doing the laundry and wiping a small nose and butt):  to finish my current WIP and complete the (hopefully) final edits on my last WIP.

I feel like I'm at the starting gate for a very long marathon, one that I know I'll finish without too much trouble. 

I know a lot of you are running the same sort of race.  It's exciting to see so many of you get published, especially two of you that live close to me.  I feel very hopeful to be joining you at the finish line (as if there really is an end to all of this work).

NaNoWriMo - To Hell with the Word Count

Last year, when I first attempted NaNoWriMo, I drank the Kool-aid and then vomited up 20,000 words before I realized it wasn't good.  I wrote until I got writer's high - writer's nirvana, as one of my friends calls it - and I kept writing.  I'm surprised there aren't rainbows and butterflies in those chapters...actually, maybe there are.

I was more than a little depressed about the wasted effort (mommies of three-year-olds don't have a minute to waste).  I stopped writing for about six weeks and questioned my ability as a writer.  Uncool.

This year I vowed to do NaNoWriMo again, but by my terms.  I decided not to get caught up in the word count.  I planned to write one quality chapter at a time and edit after writing a few - because this is the process that works for me.  I would use the hype of the month to keep me moving - and to give my family a relatively concrete reason to give me blocks of time to write (which they have). 

Something happened yesterday as I approached 30,000 words...I became obsessed with the word count.  And my Muse sprinted away.

I was writing just to add numbers to the awesome graph on the NaNo site.  But my plot was murky. My chapters weren't contained units.  The the last sentence of the last few chapters sucked - and yet I kept writing. 

Today I refuse to add new chapters until I fix the three or four chapters that aren't good.  To hell with the word count - it doesn't mean a thing if it's not quality work. 

If I do nothing but fix these chapters before the end of the month, it's a win.  And I will have proven to myself that I can write half of a quality novel in a month, a pace I would love to keep up over the next year.

To those of you racing to the finish line, carry on.  I'm dropping out but am still cheering you on.

On Revisions and Dark Comedies

The revisions I'm doing are going much slower than anticipated.  I was hoping to get half of the manuscript edited to final or almost final quality by Halloween, just before the start of NaNoWriMo.  It is not going to happen.  Not even close - I think I'll have a quarter of the novel edited. 

I can live with the slow pace because I feel like this will be the (almost) last round of edits.  It's very close - like when when you stick a knife in a cake and there's only a tiny bit of uncooked goo inside.  

This is a work I'll be proud to say I wrote - except I don't think I'll want my kids or parents to read it.  It's very dark, so dark that, if my grandma were alive to read it, I'm certain she'd be praying for me and telling everyone that something is definitely wrong with me.

I started a query letter for this novel a few weeks ago after crying about it here.  In the letter I had a hard time explaining the genre.  It's a dark comedy, and it's women's fiction.  I suspect putting those two genres together isolates a large population of readers.  I wonder how many women enjoy dark comedies.  I equally wonder how many people that love the dark comedies also love women's fiction. 

I'm sure someone will read it and will laugh at the tragedy.  First, I must finish it....

Do you like dark comedies?  Women's fiction?  Do you think it would be odd to combine dark comedy with historical fiction?  I think my NaNo novel is headed toward the dark side.... I can't help myself.

Slow and Steady....

I finally got back into my groove - the groove I was in last winter and the winter before that when I was writing or editing every day while my small person was at preschool, many evenings while my older kids did homework, and on the weekends every chance I could get.

I'm back.  And I feel very happy.

My plan for October was to edit a chapter a month of my last WIP - hopefully final edits - or at least close to final edits. 

It's going very well.  Today is the 8th and I'm editing chapter 7 today.  On my calendar where I jotted down my goals, I didn't include weekends.  I only included a chapter a day Monday through Friday.  I thought a chapter would take me an hour, but it's taking me more like two hours sometimes more. 

I feel great about my progress.  And about the edits.  The chapters I have finished feel done - done enough to submit.  I'm having a little bit of writer's high, so I may revoke that statement later and opt to revise again.

I do feel like I'm going to be ready for NaNoWriMo next month.  I'm making my writing a priority and am blocking out chunks of time.  I'm not making excuses...at least not as many.

I have an hour left today...now or never.  I'd honestly rather sleep, but it's time to write. 

Daily Writing Ritual

If only today were the day for Insecure Writers....

Since it isn't, I will express my optimism for my plan for the month of October - to edit a chapter a day of One Small Betrayal.  By that I mean edit again.  I've already done multiple edits through Chapter 26.  And, yes, I'm starting over again, editing again, hopefully for the last time, maybe the second to the last time.

But this time I feel like I'm looking at the story with a fresh perspective.  I can see what I need to add.  I can see my weaknesses and feel like I know how to fix them.  I just wonder if I will see even more problems six months from now. I wonder if it will ever be done...but that's a post for tomorrow.

My plan for October is to edit a chapter a day.  In theory, I can execute this in an hour.  But it actually took me about three hours yesterday to edit chapter one to the point that I was brave enough to send it to two of my relatives, whom I expect will be honest in their feedback, possibly brutally honest. 

Today, I planned to tackle Chapter 2, but one of my kids is sick and needed to be taken to the doctor.  Then I had to go to the pharmacy.  Now it's after 10 AM.  I need a shower.  And I only have about an hour until I go to get my small one from preschool. 

As I waited at the drive-thru window for the local pharmacy, it occurred to me that if I accomplish even half my daily goal, I will be able to edit or write 180 chapters in a year.  That's a goal worth working for in my opinion.  And I'm not going to start tomorrow.  I started yesterday.  And I'm not giving up today.  And not tomorrow.

What I am adding to my daily writing ritual is this - I also need to make the time to exercise 20 minutes a day.  Every day.  Starting today and not tomorrow.  Now.  Well, not now because I need to write now.  But before I go to bed, even if I feel like crap.  Even if one of my kids are puking.  Even if I save my writing until bedtime.  Maybe in a year, the exercise will add up to 20 pounds.

I need a sign for my desk so I don't forget. 

 

I Think I Can...I Think I Can...I Think I Can

One of my favorite stories to read to my little guy (and each of his siblings before him) is this version of The Little Engine That Could.  You can't really tell, but it's a board book, and the book itself is the shape of the train. 

When I read it to my kids, we repeat the phrases, "I think I can," and "I thought I could," over and over again - way more times that is listed in the book - until we are completely filled with optimism.  The one thing I think makes a difference in any child's life is believing in themselves.  We cannot do anything we don't think we can do.  And we need to acknowledge our successes - even the small ones.

I know I've been whining a lot here about how much I am struggling to find the time to write and to set adequate goals for myself.  I'm sick of it and am ready to just get busy...except I'm still sick.  My doctor thinks I'll be back to normal by Monday.  Fingers crossed.

This morning I came up with a plan that feels good.   I decided to sign up for NaNoWriMo again.  I know I've failed twice and suffered greatly for my failure.  The act of committing to it seems to trigger anvils to fall from the sky.

But the need to clear my plate before the start date is very motivating for me.  Each time I've tried this adventure, I failed at the word count, but I've been successful at finishing other projects before day one.

So this is my plan...

1.  I'm going to complete final (yes, FINAL!) edits to half of my last WIP, One Small Betrayal, by October 31. 

2.  I'm going to write as much as I can of one of my new novels during NaNoWriMo in November.  It's a win even if I don't write 50,000 words because, well, any words are better than no words.  My husband has agreed to bake the turkey and alternate vegetarian meal.

3.  In December, I'm going to cope with the inevitable post-NaNo depression and burn-out by editing the last half of One Small Betrayal and writing query letters.

I've heard it's not a good idea to send out query letters in December because publishers get flooded with submissions from NaNoWriMo, so maybe February 1 is a better date to mail the query letters.


Are you doing NaNoWriMo?  If you want to be my writing buddy (I think they have writing buddies), let me know.  I'm registered as Tonja - lucky for me my first name is spelled weird.  I think the official 2012 NaNoWriMo signup is next week at NaNoWriMo.org.

BTW, I'm still behind on reading posts.  Must nap first.

Write, Polish, Submit, and Write Something New

I'm finally feeling a little better this morning.  For the first time in a week, I felt like writing when I woke up.

Once I got my kids to school (after several dreams where I sent them to school but they kept coming back home), I picked up my previous WIP and read the first chapter.  And I was really happy with it.  I can see exactly what I need to change to make it done.  Done.  As in completely done.  Final revision done. 

Or maybe I still have a fever and am completely delusional. 

I've already done two rounds of revisions to the first twenty-nine chapters.  (I only know that because of my little graph in my sidebar.)  The last chapters are with my CP.  I don't want to make any changes to those chapters until I get her feedback, so the novel has been at a standstill.  That's actually not a bad thing because I've been researching and documenting my plan for my next one (actually my next five).

My next few stories require a lot of research.  I don't want to write the first word (although I already have about 10K written) until I finish the research and plot out the stories a little more.  It's not procrastination - it's for my sanity.  I know a lot of you will say I will stifle my creativity with all the planning - but I won't.  I need structure around it, or it will be a hot mess.

What I have been procrastinating over is finishing and submitting my last three novels.  They are sitting here (somewhere in the mess on my desk) done but not completely done - just short of completed.  They are like cakes without icing - yummy but not as delicious and appealing as they could be.  They are not quite ready to be served up to a crowd.  (I skipped breakfast and am really hungry.) 

I clearly see that my new five-novel monster project is an easy way to put off attempting to get anything published.  It gives me an excuse to submit nothing for the next five years.  Awesome, right?  I'm off the hook.

But if I had a friend in the same position, I would tell them to finish their almost-done novel and then write something new.  Why write it if you aren't going to finish it?  I tell people that all the time. 

Write, polish, submit, and write something new. 

It's very sensible.  And yet my inclination is to write, polish, set it aside, and repeat until I have an amazing stack of very nearly done novels on my desk.

Today I will be brave.  I will begin putting the icing on one of my creations one chapter at a time with the intention of sharing it.  Clearly I need to give myself a deadline.  It's December 31.  Eeek.  I should probably put that on my sidebar so I don't forget.

On Sleepyheads and the Struggle to Find Time to Write

This morning I managed to get my two older kids up at 9:15 in anticipation of school starting next week.  At 9 a.m., they both groaned and rolled over and said something like, "I'm up," when I told them to get out of bed.  Fifteen minutes later, I sent my three-year-old (who woke me up at 2 a.m. and then 7:00 a.m.) to do the job.  He likes to wake them up by climbing all over their beds and then on them like a cat.  It's very effective.

I had a talk with my little guy yesterday. He agreed to let me write for an hour every day until his school starts in September if I let him watch SpongeBob for an hour.  He's obsessed with SpongeBob, and we always have a few episodes saved. 

I decided to work on a middle grade chapter book I wrote a couple of years ago. He loves the story and will very enthusiastically let me read it to him (after SpongeBob). 

Normally the TV would distract me from writing, but for the last two weeks since his SpongeBob preoccupation began, I walk around with SpongeBob songs screaming in my head anyway.  "The Best Day Ever" is the best song ever.

At the beginning of the calendar year, I decided to do Write1Sub1, then I promptly dropped out.  The writing wasn't the problem - the effort that goes into preparing a piece for submission and finding just the right publishers took more time than I was willing to spend.  And if I'm in writing mode, I don't want to be in submission mode at the same time.  My Muse is squeamish about submitting.

For the rest of the calendar year, I'm going to try a modified version of Write1Sub1.  I'll call it Write1SubNone. 

I love writing short stories.  I think it's especially good to write something new every week while I'm in editing mode.  So I'm going to write a short story a week and set it aside.  If I stay on track, I should be able to write 20 new short stories by December 31.  If I only write 5 or 10, I won't be disappointed in myself.  If I feel compelled to write chapters instead of short stories, that will be even better. 

I haven't forgotten about the historical piece I started this summer.  I want to have outlines completed for the whole series and go on a road trip to do some research before I get too deep into the writing.  

More about road trips next time....

End of Summer Writing Plans

As you can see on my little sidebar thing, I got half the edits done for one of my manuscripts.  Yay! I'm very excited.  The rest of the manuscript is with my critique partner.  As soon as I get her input, I'll finish editing it and hopefully will have it ready for my husband and daughter to critique before I give it to some beta readers.  I might be brave enough to let my sister read it.  She told me she'd love to if the writing is good.  (No pressure.)

Today, I finally got out my journal from vacation and resumed working on the historical series I've been whining talking about here.  I wrote up the character list, reread what I had written to date, and got my thoughts and documents organized.  I wrote a little more than a chapter.   I have 6500 words completed.

I feel great about it and am going to commit myself to writing a little bit every day until the kids go back to school (in 17 days). 

My husband is going to be "out of country" for the next two weeks, which makes finding time to write difficult.  He's going to a place where the US embassy says the Ebola outbreak is probably under control and where a band of militant rebels (sounds like Star Wars, huh?) are in the west.  My husband told me he's not worried because he'll be in the south, nowhere near the west.  Except for that part of the west that touches the south. 

I'm not usually that worried when he travels.  This time I am.  Writing helps me escape to a place where I have no worries, so I'll definitely be writing over the next two weeks.

Courage?

For the last few  months, the beta copies of my previous WIP have been sitting in box on my bookshelf.  I was excited to get the critiques, but one was bad, so bad the beta reader decided to write a four page, single-spaced essay on how much she hated it.  At least she didn't hold anything back.  And she mostly hated the characters, not the writing, so I guess it could be worse.

Today I found the courage to bust out the marked up copies and begin making the final changes.  (I'm going to reward myself with something awesome and probably alcoholic for attempting this today.)

I should save this post for next Wednesday's Insecure Writer's Support Group, but I'm sure I'll have more insecurities next week - or maybe I will have overcome this one by then, who knows. 

I signed up for a writing group over the summer.  The women in the class (it's only women) break into small groups and read a set number of minutes of their own writing.  The other people in the small group listen and give a limited number of minutes of feedback at the end.  The writer gets to limit the feedback to what they need - not always craft.

I took the class with the intent to get feedback on this WIP (the one that prompted a four page rant) from people I don't know, people who presumably have no agenda.

The reading of the first chapter left me elated.  The reading of the second chapter made me feel good - I could see what I needed to change before anyone gave the feedback.  Awesome.  The next two classes made me feel like maybe I sucked as a writer. 

Two classes are left in the term - I really want to skip them and just stay home (but I already missed two).  As I write this, I realize it's the fear and dread of going to class that motivated me to edit the story today, not courage.   Maybe I'll take that drink now.

Once again, my apologies for being MIA - we did more college trips this past week.

Whatever....

At the beginning of the month, I posted about how I developed a project plan for writing for the remainder of the calendar year. 

The plan included editing 22 chapters of my latest WIP for my CP, typing up the chapters I hand-wrote during vacation, and doing final (and perhaps painful) edits on my other two manuscripts, editing the current WIP again, and starting a historical fiction piece that I think is going to be awesome but will definitely require a lot of research.  It sounds like a lot, but my project plan says it's possible if I work on it persistently until December 31.

The plan is going very well.  I've checked off seventeen items and have stayed focused on one project at a time...until this morning when my Muse showed up - the one that wants me to write and not edit. 

Another story that I started a year ago, but didn't plan to finish any time soon if ever, settled in the front of my mind.  The story is sad and funny.  It's about a single mom with a baby and a five-year-old and a full-time job.  It requires zero research because I've been there. 

I feel compelled to write it now and push everything else aside.

Plans are made to be changed, right?

The logical part of me knows this is procrastination - I'm doing anything to put off doing the final edits on those three manuscripts.  If I don't finish them, then I won't have to risk getting rejected, right?

If I ignore my Muse, she will go on vacation (as is her habit), and I'll be done.

Instead of throwing away the plan, I may try multi-tasking, working on what I had planned in the morning and add on a new chapter of the new ms in the evening.  I'm not sure how long I can work at that pace, but it's worth a try.

How is your writing going?

Writing Goals

At the end of last month, I set writing goals for myself for the next six months. The plan seemed reasonable.  Except for one thing - I forgot how long it takes to edit. 

I took some time off from writing this week, figuring I could catch up on the weekend.  But I'm editing.  And it's a slow process.  When I set my goals, I thought I could edit two chapters in the time it would take me to write one. Not even close.

Writing is much faster for me.  I don't see any way I can speed up the editing.  I just need to take it a chapter at a time, and it will take as long as it takes.

I've decided not to adjust the plan.  It's only been a week.  Instead, I'm going to double up and get it done.

On the up side, my teen has a massive amount of summer work for her AP classes and is joining me in my marathon of heads-down work at the coffee shop every day. 

We're trying different places.  It's hard to find a place that's comfortable and quiet enough - but not too quiet.  Starbucks has oatmeal now.  It's not great, but I was happy I didn't get the plate of donuts behind the glass that kept distracting me. 

It's still too miserably hot to do anything outside, so we aren't missing anything.  My husband would rather have me writing than whining about not writing, so there's no guilt in leaving.


Does it take you longer to edit or write?  Is anyone having normal weather?  I would love to be able to write outside, but it's been 100 degrees for a week.

Not A Nerd Post....

This is not a nerd post, although it may look like it at first.  Please don't run away at my next six words....

I used to do software development.

I did full life-cycle development, which is a fancy way of saying I was responsible for every aspect of the project from requirements-gathering to implementation and even user training and documentation.  Exciting, isn't it?

The cool thing for me, which I've said here before, is almost every piece of this process correlates to writing.

• Requirements gathering = Coming up with the initial idea for a story
• Statement of Work = Pitch or query
• Design = Outlining
• Development = Writing
• Testing = Editing
• User testing = Review by beta readers
• Implementation = Getting it published

Are you still there? 

What I want to talk about here is testing/editing.  Basically there are three ways to test: detailed testing of individual units, testing one unit against the others, and user testing.

Testing is done very systematically, often with a test plan or a checklist. You have to be sure everything, every little thing - every button click, every function call, every page return - works every time on every page without exception. 

Testing a unit is analogous to testing a chapter.  Each chapter has to be grammatically flawless.  It needs to stand on its own as if it were a short story with a beginning, middle, and end.  The chapter has to do something - it needs to have a function and achieve that functionality by the end.  If not, you don't need it.  If a part of it doesn't serve a function, you don't need it.  It slows things down. 

Testing each unit against the next (integration testing - sorry, I couldn't not give it a name) for a novel involves comparing one chapter against the next to make sure there's consistency in details and characterization and voice from one chapter to the next.  When you put all the chapters together, there should be those ups and downs, tension, characters development (or lack of for some characters), and a bunch of stuff I probably don't know about yet since I'm kind of new to this.

User testing is having other people give feedback at the chapter level and for the novel as a whole.  When we do user testing for software, we always have people that would be actual users of the application to do the testing.  If the program is being developed for accountants, we ask accountants to test it.  One mistake I made with beta readers is I didn't ask my readers if they liked my genre before they started reading.   If they don't enjoy the genre, they won't get the book.  No kidding, right?

My point, in case anyone is still reading, is that I think it's a good idea to be very systematic when editing, to take one thing at a time, to break it into chunks to make it manageable and ensure you're being thorough even when editing only one chapter.  I'm suggesting that if you're wired this way - if you find pleasure in attacking things in a systematic way - this software testing process should work for editing a novel in theory.

But maybe this only works for the type-A nerds among us.  I'm not the only one, am I?

I could keep going on about error logs and issue tracking, but I won't. 

BTW, my nerd-husband read this and told me this is in fact a nerd post.  Sorry about that.

Honestly, did you read this?   Or did you read the first three lines and then jump to this question at the end? 

On Writing Classes and Editors

I signed up for the summer term of a writing class where we're asked to maintain confidentiality, sort of like an AA meeting.  The reason for this is most people in the class don't write fiction.  They write about their feelings, their lives, bad things that happened to them or people they know.  A lot of people in the class write to get through whatever they are going through. 

I often feel like writing a post here after this kind of 'meeting' - but I feel uncomfortable going into the specifics, so I won't.

There was a discussion in class about how to ask for feedback on your writing.  Feedback at this class isn't always on craft; the writer gets to ask for the kind of feedback she wants.  Many writers just want to be heard, they want affirmation, and they want to know if their writing resonated and if they are onto anything that could develop into something more. 

One person in the group was admittedly new to writing.  But she didn't want affirmation about what was good about her writing.  She wanted (almost demanded) critical feedback to expedite the writing process.  She didn't say so, but she wanted an editor, someone to fix her writing for her.   

I think even if you pay an editor, there is no fast track.  It takes time to develop your voice, figure out what writing and editing processes work for you, find people you trust to give you feedback, and write it beginning to end.  No matter how smart or talented or well-educated you are, it takes practice to learn to write dialogue, develop characters, and write a story with an effective beginning, middle, and end. 

Asking other people to fast-track you to publication is the same as asking students in an art class to make you an artist by class 8.  It's not going to happen that quickly.  It can't.  Unless you're a prodigy, in which case you don't need the class or the help, right?  And it's not your classmate's responsibility - it's yours. 

Obviously, critique partners and beta readers are incredibly important.  But they are one part of the process, and they fit in after you write it, not on day one of a writing project.  If you want someone to objectively critique your work that you can hold accountable, you need to hire an editor.  I think that's wasted money until you're at the point where you trust your own voice as a writer, have written the thing, and edited it with the help of CP's and beta readers.

The up side of my mini-rant on this subject is I decided I am at the point that I need to hire an editor very soon - like after the next round of edits on the three manuscripts I've finished. 

I think money invested in an editor will give me more return than money spent on this class.  Thanks to Michael Offutt for nudging me in that direction in a comment on a post a week or two ago.

If you know of any awesome editors or have any idea what this sort of thing costs, please leave a comment or drop me an email.   If you aren't yet published, do you plan on hiring an editor?

Closing in on the Ending

This week, I got maybe three new chapters written and three chapters edited.  It's less than what I wanted to do, but definitely better than nothing. 

I've been working on this novel on and off for about a year.  My critique partner has given me feedback on the first twenty chapters, and I've edited them twice, once before she read them and once after getting her feedback.  I've been working on the ending chapters with the idea firmly fixed in my mind that those 15 chapters, the ones I've written since January and only I have seen, are kind of a hot mess.

It's hard to keep writing when you aren't certain about the chapters supporting the ones you're trying to write.  Maybe that's just me, but it's really uncomfortable.

So I physically separated those fifteen chapters from the others - like literally, in a separate report binder, and I've been working away at these chapters while adding new chapters to the end.  It may be a little nuts to be in editing mode and writing mode at the same time, but it seems to be working for me.  Once I edit a chapter and reprint it, I take the old one out of the binder. 

The chapters I thought were rough at best are shiny and perfect now (perfect enough for a first draft).  I'm unbelievably excited about what I wrote.  That feeling, that euphoria, is why I love to write.  It's like runner's high but without all the sweat.

I'm getting closer and closer to the ending, and it feels FANTASTIC.

Today I have time to write two new chapters and edit at least two (fingers crossed).  I also need to work on my vegetable garden, one of my several new obsessions. 

I've definitely been lagging on reading posts and commenting here.  I'm certain you all understand.  Must finish the novel.

Do you edit as you go?  What do you do if you aren't comfortable with previous chapters? 

On the Path Again

After editing my WIP this week, I'm back on the path and out of the mud.  The problem with my last two chapters was the timeline.  A series of events had to happen, and the timing made a difference.  In my first draft, time stood still.  If my story were sci-fi or fantasy, that might work, but it's not.

I love the feeling of having written and edited the first twenty thousand words before moving on.  I feel like I'm standing on solid ground and feel confident this novel will be successful.  Writing the rest of it should be relatively easy...in theory. 

I got a lot of suggestions earlier this week to just let the story flow in whatever direction it wanted and to edit later.  That's generally good advice, but this story requires precision.  Everything that happens is intertwined with the rest of the story; every detail is interdependent like the pieces of a multi-dimensional puzzle.  Not all stories are like that, but this one is. 

I have an abundance of time this weekend to continue working on my WIP, and I'm meeting with two beta readers next week to review the critiques of my previous novel.  I'm feeling very optimistic, despite the promise of another gloomy, rainy weekend. 

Muddy Water...

This weekend, I got to the beginning of the middle of my WIP.  I wrote a little too much in one day, which never works out for me.  I reached a point where I ignored my plan entirely.  The plot veered off course where I didn't plan for it to go - and the story got a little muddy.  Darn it.

So yesterday I stepped back and edited the first ten thousand words.  That was easy - my writing partner had already critiqued it.  I just needed to make the changes she suggested.

Today, I have more difficult work before me.  I need to read the remaining ten thousand words and figure out the exact moment where I took a wrong turn.  Ten thousand words is a lot to edit in one day, so I'm just going to work on a chapter at a time and take as long as I need. 

Maybe it would good for me to make it a practice to write ten thousand words and then edit those words before moving on.  I think this will work well for me if I have a detailed outline and am certain of the ending.  My hope is incremental editing will make final revisions easier in the end.  We'll see.  

For today, I roll up my sleeves and dive in. 

Veteran's Day is Writing Day

Today is Veteran's Day.  Thank you, veterans!

Veteran's Day caught me by surprise because my kids have school today, and, well, it's Friday and not Monday, the normal day for government holidays.  Until just a few minutes ago, I forgot my husband is a government contractor and has the day off. 

When he's off work, I get extra time to write!  Yay!  An expected writing day, the best kind of writing day.  It's like an unexpected gift in a really big box with a fancy bow containing something I need and want.

Very early this morning as the sun came up on the horizon and before I realized I had all day to write, I drove home from taking my daughter to school.  I thought about my progress on NaNoWriMo and decided to modify my expectations for myself.  I decided to cut my NaNo goal in half to 25K words, which is a goal I can achieve.

I got some very positive feedback this week from a beta reader on the middle third of my last novel.  I planned on finishing the edits to the final third before the beginning of November, but it didn't work out.  Last night, I was able to finish edits for two chapters.  When I opened my eyes this morning, I decided I really want to finish my last novel tonight, by the end of the weekend at the latest.  I want to send out the final third to my beta reader while the middle part is fresh in their minds.  So I very unapologetically set this as my priority for the month above writing half of my NaNo novel.

So my month is more like NaNoHalfMo/NaNoEditMo.   

I am one of those people that gets very excited about achieving personal goals.  I am definitely going to have a great weekend. 

Lessons Learned from NaNoWriMo

So far, I've written over eight thousand words of my NaNoWriMo novel.  Twice I stopped to edit.

I know the core idea for NaNoWriMo is to write without allowing yourself to go into editing mode.  I think that is a super good thing for writers to do - if they are people who normally self-edit while writing and need some freedom from the internal editor.

But the thing is, I'm not one of those people.  I let the words spill out of me as fast as I can type.  I don't edit while I'm writing.  I allow myself to write crap if crap is the best I can do - but only to a point....

I need a breakpoint, several breakpoints along the way, where I stop and edit what I've written so far.  Ideally, I like to do this self-check after a handful of chapters.  Then I can move on with confidence while getting myself back into the mindset of the story.  For me, it makes for better writing.

And for me, the point of writing is to write well, not to write voluminously.

So the first thing I've learned after a week of NaNo-ing is this:

1.  I need to do what works for me. 

I need to write a few chapters without editing, edit them, and then write some more.  I need to do this whenever I feel the need.  I need to stay on the path of my novel, not by continuously writing, but by stopping every now again to check to make sure the ground is solid and I'm on course.

The second thing I learned is about failure.  I've spent my life being a bit of a perfectionist and being very hard on myself (and possibly those around me - sorry about that if you are one of them).  Any kind of failure, even a perceived failure or the threat of failure, usually makes me feel very uncomfortable.  I avoid it at any costs. 

A fact I know is true:  I will fail at finishing my NaNo novel before the end of November.

But, honestly, what I've accomplished so far this month on my novel feels like complete success.  It feels fantastic.  And it's only been a week.  I'm elated not just because I love what I've written, but I'm finally free of my fear of failure (for today at least).

2.  Success is carrying on with the knowledge I can't finish on time.

I am back in writing mode and am suddenly now able to write on a much more flexible schedule than normal - morning, afternoon, evening, late night - whatever time I have.  That is huge.

For those of you power-writing this month, I hope it's going as well for you.  And I hope you are feeling a sense of success no matter how far along you are. 

It's Not Ready...

The more I write, the less insecure I get about the quality of my writing.  The more I join communities of writers - this group in particular but also communities of people like me that are on the same path that I meet with in person - the less insecure I feel about calling myself a writer and knowing that I will reach the finish line multiple times if I do the work. 

Despite this new-found confidence, I have a problem with sharing my work unless I've polished and edited it until it's as good as I can make it.  Only then will I share it with people outside my immediate family. 

I've been very lucky to have connected with one writer in particular, a woman at the same place as me who is working on her first novel and is close to completion.  Over the last year, we have given each other feedback, one chapter at a time.  My best feedback for her has involved fact-checking details in her writing related to children in particular.  She has given me invaluable feedback on techniques I can use throughout my writing. 

I met her last night and, although I completed the first version of my novel, I was only comfortable giving her a copy of the first third of it, the part of it I've edited at least twenty times. 

I don't know if it's my insecurity that kept me from giving her the whole thing or just my work ethic (also based on insecurity I'm sure).  When I did software development, I would never ever not for a second even consider letting an end user see or test an application I was working on for them until it was in the final stage, until it was done and I had already tested it.  I was fine with getting feedback from end users about things I missed - but basic functionality should be there - all the buttons should work, errors shouldn't be thrown, it should work as expected. 

Same with my writing - I don't want to hand my work over to someone else to fix what I should have fixed, things I know to do.  I want feedback on the things I didn't notice, things I didn't think about. 

Mostly, I don't want to feel like I'm a crappy writer because I asked for a critique before it was good enough.