Narcissistic Abuse Quotes

“Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often. That is why they are manipulative and future fakers. They promise change, but can't deliver if it interferes with their addiction. That is why they secure back up supply.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“No child can be good enough to evoke love from a highly self-involved parent. Nevertheless, these children come to believe that the price of making a connection is to put other people first and treat them as more important. They think they can keep relationships by being the giver. Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior.”
― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

“But both the narcissist and his partner do not really consider each other. Trapped in the moves of an all-consuming dance macabre, they follow the motions morbidly - semiconscious, desensitized, exhausted, and concerned only with survival.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“In the narcissist's world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.

Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…

They are aware of what they are doing to others - but they do not care.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.”
― Ellie Fox, And then the Devil Cried: Episode Two

“those who get upset for being treated the way that they treat others, will never understand why others treat them the way that they treat others.”
― David J. Martinez

“Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another's sense of self.
It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Emotional abuse can leave a victim feeling like a shell of a person, separated from the true essence of who they naturally are. It also leads to a victim feeling tormented and tortured by their own emotions.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Narcissistic cathexis of the child by the mother does not exclude emotional devotion. On the contrary, she loves the child as her self-object, excessively, though not in the manner that he needs, and always on the condition that he presents his "false self." This is no obstacle to the development of intellectual abilities, but it is one to the unfolding of an authentic emotional life.”
― Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

“Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire,
exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Healing is like an onion. As you process through one layer of trauma to release the pain and heal, a new layer will surface. One layer after another layer will bring up new issues to focus on. Pace yourself. Only focus on one layer at a time.”
― Dana Arcuri, Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma

“Stop trying to get validation from people who can't or won't acknowledge your feelings. This reflects their inability to empathize. It's a failure on their part and has nothing to do with you.”
― Jacqueline Simon Gunn

“No one wants to depend on people who brag about their help. It is hurtful.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Many survivors of a narcissist discover that they’ve sacrificed so much in an attempt to please the narcissist that they’ve lost sight of who they are. Rediscovering oneself involves reclaiming things once loved, be it passions, friendships, or even jobs. It’s about finding that one thing you used to enjoy and taking it back. Reconnect with your inner child, play, and reintroduce yourself to the joys that make you uniquely you.”
― Tracy Malone

“Nancy was as proud as she was critical of her younger daughter. She spoke glowingly about the precocious little girl who said her first sentence at seven months and walked at ten months.”
― Joan Frances Casey, The Flock: The Autobiography of a Multiple Personality

“Swinging from attack and deflection to complete self-blame eradicates any chance for resolution or understanding.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.

“Acknowledgment remained absent long-term. She would push to the point of sickness through drinking and activities that made recovery more difficult. She would refuse to rest, often requiring extended recovery, would acknowledge the issue briefly, then forget and repeat it.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.

“Hiding became a way of life for her. I don't know if she knows who she is, but I do know she knows how to hide.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: Skimmer's Edition

“It seems that many with NPD can create a lie and twist a tale so well that they start to believe it to be the truth themselves.”
― Neal Winsomer

“I feel like my ex-wife could pass the most sophisticated lie detector tests and convince an experienced forensic psychophysiologist that specific lies she tells are true.

I believe she knows she is lying about certain things, but I have also found that specific narratives she has constructed over time appear to her as absolute, undeniable truths, regardless of evidence to the contrary.

I find this delusional and dangerous.”
― Neal Winsomer

“Unchallenged affirmation from those who accept an incomplete story harms her. Hidden truths remain concealed as she refutes all other claims.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: A Father's Stand Against the Current: Clarity over comfort. Transparency over secrecy. Structure over spin. Love over anger.

“Even on days I don't "feel like surviving," evolving is the only way out.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis

“Her lawyer seemed to empower her behavior and allow her a new support system to strengthen the weak lies she had told herself for so long.

To have this lawyer support anything she said without looking for proof, accountability, evidence, or facts seemed to bring out this darker vengeful side in her.”
― Neal Winsomer

“Healing isn’t a destination; it’s a rhythm. A conversation between your mind, your body, and your soul.”
― Melody Carstairs , She Is Alpha

“Eliminating guilt and remorse, by removing these experiences from her emotional architecture altogether, she granted herself the freedom to return to the comfort zone she desired.”
― Neal Winsomer, Calling Out the Shadows: Skimmer's Edition

“Once accountability arrives, once I have the access to my daughter that I deserve, once I achieve primary custody of her, the first thing I will do is not retaliate, respond, or mirror the toxic behaviors, actions, and lies that my ex-wife used with me. I will not respond with her narcissistic actions, her toxic lies, and her efforts to sabotage my relationship with my daughter. Regardless of what I feel about her mother, regardless of how her mother treated me, I will never keep my daughter from her mother. And my daughter will know that she always has access to her mother.”
― Neal Winsomer

“I don't want revenge. I don't want to humiliate my ex-wife in front of others, and I don't want her to be in pain. I have no desire to out her narcissism, her toxic behaviors, the parental alienation, or any of the awful things she has done to distance me from my daughter. Not to her friends, her family, her coworkers, or anyone else in her life. I do want to out her actions, behaviors, and traits, and to highlight the patterns and the evidence to the courts. No one else. In making this situation right, I am focused on her being held accountable for what she has done, to those who can make the changes that need to happen when it comes to my daughter.”
― Neal Winsomer

“...until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed.”
~ Christina Ditchkofsky”
― Christina Ditchkofsky, Burnt Letters: Unveiling the Shadows of Trauma and Finding Strength in the Depths of Despair

“The trauma bond doesn’t exist in isolation. It is reinforced by family systems, social expectations, and the human desire to belong.”
― M.M. Evans, One on Each Side

“Ever notice how an ugly hearted person's version of God is Old Testament Law and fear mongering and a loving hearted person's version of God is The Gospels and the compassion of Christ?
This is no coincidence.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis