Nonviolent Communication Quotes

“If I use empathy to liberate people to be less depressed, to get along better with their family, and at the same time not inspire them to use their energy to rapidly transform systems in the world, then I am part of the problem. I am essentially calming people down, making them happier to live in the systems as they are, and I am using empathy as a narcotic.”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg

“If ... we hear ourselves speaking words that convey attunement to the process unfolding in this moment--a felt sense of receiving, cultivating, believing, supporting and trusting--we are more apt to be attending from the right with support from the left.

This way of experiencing may also be coupled with attention to felt sense, comfort with being rather than pressure to do, and a respect for the undulating rise and fall of healing that unfolds naturally in the space between.

When we are in this mode, we have a tendency to speak more tentatively and to check in with our relational partner about how he or she is receiving what we are offering.

This past part is particularly important because it reflects our growing felt-sense awareness that the system of the person we are helping knows more about what needs to happen next than we do.

In addition to the humility and respect this engenders, we may also notice that instead of wanting to get rid of some state, we are more apt to acknowledge its meaningfulness and be present to it just as it is.

Listening in this way, the so-called negative state may reveal itself as telling an important truth and become an opening toward healing.

We may also be aware of the limitation and incompleteness of words, leading us to honor silence as well.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“We may find that the words we are naturally drawn toward when we speak to others or ourselves have a great deal to say about our ability to be present with one another.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“When he would hear me speak in ways that were judgmental or indicated my wish to get rid of some part of me, he would gently say, 'A more respectful word may want to emerge soon' ...

He encouraged me to just listen for it, not to try to find it by digging around.

Something always came and gradually opened me to a more kind and inclusive way of being with myself and others.

I began to notice that my words and perceptions were inextricably linked, so as the words changed and my perceptions were also shifting (and vice versa, I imagine), and this led to more changes in language to better reflect this continually emerging felt-sense experience while encouraging it to deepen further as well--a beautiful circle of transformation.

Slowly, slowly I found myself moving away from a more judgmental, analytical, disembodied, left-shifted viewpoint toward a more open, curious, accepting way of being that emerges when right-hemisphere processes take the lead.”
― Bonnie Badenoch, The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

“Anger is a result of life alienated thinking that is disconnected from needs. It indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyse and judge somebody rather than focus on which of our needs is not being met”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Sounds True

“Anger is a result of life alienated thinking that is disconnected from needs. It indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyse and judge somebody rather than focus on which of our needs is not being met.”
― Marshall B. Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Sounds True

“Make your brain a kinder place to live.”
― Sarah Peyton, Your Resonant Self Workbook: From Self-sabotage to Self-care