Coming Out Quotes

“Fortunately, Park seemed more bemused than offended. “Do you disapprove of human-werewolf relationships, Agent Dayton?”

“No. Of course not. I—that’s not what I meant. I just didn’t understand...” Cooper trailed off, thoroughly uncomfortable, and Park took pity on him.

“She’s not my type because I’m gay.”

The silence was sharp. Vaguely Cooper was aware his mouth was hanging open. He shut it quickly. Then opened it again to say, “Oh, that’s nice.”
― Charlie Adhara, The Wolf at the Door

“To anyone who has discovered they aren’t as straight as they thought they were, and to the people who made them realize it.”
― Eden Finley, Fake Out

“Have you ever accidentally swallowed a piece of celery without chewing? The feeling of its weight lodged in your throat, scraping its way down. You think you’re gonna choke, but your throat takes over and digests it, and it takes all the wind out of you. You need to lie down, catch your breath, maybe even take a nap.
That’s how it feels to come out each time.”
― Aimee Herman, Everything Grows

“Because the truth is always hard. Because being queer is hard, and coming out is hard, and it never stops being hard. The world keeps shoving into you. But you stand tall anyway. You take up space anyway.”
― Robyn Schneider, You Don't Live Here

“When I decided I was a boy, I realized that if I wanted to pass, I'd have to learn to walk differently, talk differently, dress differently, basically act differently than I did as a girl. But why did we need to act at all?”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“What happens when we say something out loud? Does it become more real? Is it any less really when we keep it to ourselves?”
― Aimee Herman, Everything Grows

“I spend so much of my time trying to make my sexuality as little of a deal as possible, while everyone else in my life seems to be making it into a huge thing.”
― Phil Stamper, As Far As You'll Take Me

“That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been making gay jokes in front of your gay kid for the last 17 years.”
― Becky Albertalli, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

“Make no mistake, hiding one's true self away in a closet and creating a facade of heterosexuality is not without its consequences; one being that no-one ever knows the real you. The closet may appear to have a degree of safety but from my experience they are very unhealthy places and do all kinds of destructive things to individuals psychologically, emotionally and behaviourally. The damage of fear, shame and self-loathing from an existence inside the closet is often projected unknowingly in the external life of the individual. They live with a false sense of safety, sometimes arrogance, behind the façade, unaware of the unconscious signals they give off that all is not well in their inner world.

In or out of the closet; there is a price to pay. Each individual must weigh up the consequences of honesty and openness or secrecy and deception for themselves. When I see the impacts the closet has on individuals, there is never a moment of doubt; I made the RIGHT choice.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning – a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith

“It was the feeling of finally finding a puzzle piece that fit into place. Of bursting through the surface of the water and taking the breath that had been burning in my lungs. Of remembering the word that'd been on the tip of my tongue for decades. This was the feeling I'd been missing all those years.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, Brave Face

“And then her arms were around my waist and her head was against my chest. I put my forehead on ger shoulder and hugged her back.
"I could never be mad at you for being who you are,”
― T.J. Klune, Wolfsong

“I know that what I've written has probably given the impression that I was a haughty young boy, a bit too delicate for the world (and no doubt I was, at least in part). But looking back on it, I think it was simply a fear of crowds, their movements, the inherent potential to transform into a mob, that pushed me toward this misanthropy.”
― Philippe Besson, Lie With Me

“But even just out there in the world, people – they- they stare. They look at two guys, when they hold hands. Or when they kiss. Gay guys are all – big and they're loud. And artsy and – I don't want any of that. I want a normal life that I built on my own. Not because of my dad. Not because of my .. heart. I just want to be left alone. (Wipes a tear away.) I wish there was a way to be with a guy, but... be straight.”
― Peter Fenton, Abandon All Hope

“It doesn't matter if you're inside or outside the closet. Either way, it's impossible to know if you can ever really be free.”
― Trisha Low, Socialist Realism

“I guess I'd just been thinking about it for so long that I forgot changing your gender was not even a question for most people. They just took for granted being a boy or a girl. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be so sure of yourself.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“The thing is, I don't really have any coming-out narratives of my own. I never felt as though anyone was entitles to a red-carpet presentation of who I am and how I identify. When I initially found myself attracted to women in college, for example, I simply showed up at the next family function with my first girlfriend in tow and introduced her as such. I didn't call each family member ahead of time and instruct them to brace themselves, nor did I write lengthy letters detailing the intricacies of my new desires. Likewise, when I'm meeting people for the first time at parties or other social engagements and they post the inevitable, "So what do you do?" I respond as routinely as possible: "Oh, I work in the sex industry. You?"
I'm not trying to be provocative; rather, I've always believed that being "out" is the most powerful tool of activism available to disadvantaged minority communities, sex workers included, I find that when you approach a supposedly radical issue (queerness, nonmonogamy, atheism, gender nonconformity) with the same nonchalance as you would a less controversial topic (accounting, marriage, the weather), you give the other party permission to treat it with the same accepting ambivalence. We're pack animals, and we're constantly comparing ourselves to one another. We look for approval from our peers, and in many cases we use their reactions and opinions to help guide our own. I often observe people, who I've just disclosed to, pause to shift their eyes and gauge the receptiveness of those around them before responding. It'd be a fascinating study if it weren't so disheartening.”
― Andre Shakti, Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy

“Instead of being able to go out and buy a book about a closeted gay kid who's scared of becoming a stereotype while coming to terms with being gay that could have helped me understand what I was going through, I' needed to write my own.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, Brave Face

“I didn't have to listen to a specific type of music or dress in a particular clothes or act a certain way, because being queer wasn't the nucleus of who I was, it was simply a modifier. I could be a conservative lawyer and queer; I could be an Olympic athlete or a famous comedian or the CEO of the richest company in the world. I could be me, and I'd find a place to belong.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, Brave Face

“You know,” I said, “I think the thing that scared me most about admitting that I’m, you know, gay or whatever isn’t so much that people would taunt me by saying ‘Oh, James likes other boys,’ but that they would say stuff like, ‘Oh, turns out James isn’t a boy after all.’ You know?”
― Kenneth Logan, True Letters from a Fictional Life

“I feel like I was on autopilot for most of my life. Like I just took for granted the person the world told me I was and I feel like it might have been easier to shake that up a little when I was a kid."
"How old are you now, ninety-two?"
"No, I know I was just..."
"I don't know about easy or not easy, it's just different."
"Well not easy, but..."
"You're just doing this now, Sasha Masha. Now is your time, and you're doing it, so what else do you have to worry about?”
― Agnes Borinsky, Sasha Masha

“It was actually Nadine who'd insisted that I come with her, telling me that I wasn't social enough, that real life was not lived in books, that there was nothing wrong with a little lightness, a little carefree partying. She was right. Maybe if I'd listened to her a lot earlier, I wouldn't have missed out on my youth.”
― Philippe Besson, Lie With Me

“But, anyway, once Great-grandma snuffed it, Granddad started going dancing again. That was how you got laid back in the day, and he used to totally rock at it but then the war happened, and then he was married and stuff, so it was like this amazing thing for him to suddenly have dancing again. Like a bit of lostness coming back to him after all these years. And he taught me. Really patiently because I’m a bit of a klutz. He didn’t actually say it was for getting laid (though I’m telling you the implication was there). He said it was how a gentleman wins a lady’s heart. An important life skill. And so I told him. I said, “Does it still work if a gentleman wants to win a gentleman’s heart?” He was quiet a moment. And my own heart was like thudump-thudump-thudump. To the rhythm of ohfuck-ohfuck-ohfuck. And then Granddad said, “Definitely.”
― Alexis Hall, For Real

“The funny thing about coming out is that it relies on the belief that the information you're keeping about yourself is shameful. If you were raised to be somewhat shameless, it's less of a one-time shock and more like a lifelong rumble.”
― Courtney Trouble, Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy

“So what do you do?" There it was. I was so comfortable that I forgot this stranger had no idea what my job was. Whenever I get asked the work question, I pause to assess the situation. A few checks I go through before making my decision to either answer, avoid the question, or stretch the truth are: (1) Does this person feel safe enough to disclose to without there being excessive discomfort or conflict? (2) Am I emotionally prepared to handle discomfort or conflict if they happen? And (3) Do I have an escape route if things end up not going well?”
― Harley Hex, Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy

“Sometimes people tell me they don’t want to label themselves by their sexual orientation.

I used to reject my gay identity. In fact I did everything to try and annihilate it. The last thing I would ever do would be to say...... “I’m gay”. Taking ownership of that was a terrifying thought and I believed it had tragic long-term as well as eternal consequences.

The closest I ever got to acknowledging my true orientation was admitting I had “a homosexual problem”. Accepting who I was, was a loooong journey. And once I’d accepted then learning to embrace and celebrate being gay.

We have multi identities. We can have different identities in different contexts. In some contexts some identities are paramount and others irrelevant. The highly self-aware person is conscious of the various identities but manages them wisely, recognizing each one is a part of the whole.

Personally, I’m proud to be a homosexual. No more shame, denial or secrecy. The shame has been washed away by self-acceptance and self-hatred replaced with self-love.

I am gay. Always have been gay. Always will be.”
― Anthony Venn-Brown, A Life of Unlearning – a preacher's struggle with his homosexuality, church and faith

“It is never really about what you are striving to get or achieve. It’s the journey.”
― Aimee Herman, Everything Grows

“You are finding your colors
Your wings are expanding
Don’t be afraid of your butterfly
Your flight is the best part of living”
― Aimee Herman, Everything Grows

“Maybe it's coming out of the closet with all of it, knowing even when the truth isn't hopeful the telling of it is.”
― Andrea Gibson, Lord of the Butterflies

“Another thing Norris and Eric had always had in common in a school that catered to mostly white and Catholic families was that dread that at any point their entire existence might get reduced to a single-letter word. N-word. F-word. Norris never judged Eric for wanting to avoid that if he could.”
― Ben Philippe, The Field Guide to the North American Teenager

“I take a shower, and then I head downstairs. Mom, Dad, and Bhai are in the living room drinking tea and laughing. My stomach flips, and I'm tempted to just forget about the whole thing and go to bed. But somehow I summon up the courage to keep going.

"Hey, can I come in?" I hesitate in the entryway.

"Of course." Dad pats the sofa next to him. "What is it, Rahul?"

Somehow, this feels scarier than standing up to Brent on the football field.

I take a deep breath as I settle into the sofa between Mom and Dad. "I want to tell you something," I say.

"Okay," Mom says. "You can tell us anything."

Bhai nods at me, and his eyes are bright. Encouraging.

I nod back.

"What is it, Rahul?" Mom gently rubs my back.

Even though I want to keep my eyes fixed on my lap, I force myself to lift my head up. My eyes water, but the words come out of my mouth so simply.

"I think I'm gay," I say.

I look up at Mom, and I see her whole face soften. Like she's proud of me.

She leans in and hugs me. "Thank you for telling us, Rahul."

I hold her for a long time.”
― Maulik Pancholy, The Best at It