Good Omens Quotes

“Why are we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Some police forces would believe anything. Not the Metropolitan police, though. The Met was the hardest, most cynically pragmatic, most stubbornly down-to-earth police force in Britain. It would take a lot to faze a copper from the Met. It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and wind at eighty miles an hour.
That would do it every time.”
― Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.”
― Terry Prachett talking about Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“CHOW^TM contained spun, plaited, and woven protein molecules, capped and coded, carefully designed to be ignored by even the most ravenous digestive tract enzymes; no-cal sweeteners; mineral oils replacing vegetable oils; fibrous materials, colorings, and flavorings. The end result was a foodstuff almost indistinguishable from any other except for two things. Firstly, the price, which was slightly higher, and secondly, the nutritional content, which was roughly equivalent to that of a Sony Walkman.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“You don’t have to test everything to destruction just to see if you make it right.”
― Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

“There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.”
― Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman

“What the hell. If you had to go, why not go with style?”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“It'd be a funny old world, he reflected, if demons went round trusting one another.”
― Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman

“The book was commonly known as the Buggre Alle This Bible. The lengthy compositor's error, if such it may be called, occurs in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 48, verse five.

2. And bye the border of Dan, fromme the east side fo the west side, a portion for Afher.

3. And by the border of Afher, fromme the east side even untoe the west side, a portion for Naphtali.

4. And by the border of Naphtali, from the east side untoe the west side, a portion for Manaffeh.

5. Buggre Alle this for a Larke. I amme sick to mye Hart of typefettinge. Master Biltonn if no Gentelmann, and Master Scagges noe more than a tighte fisted Southwarke Knobbefticke. I telle you, onne a daye laike thif Ennywone withe half and oz of Sense shoulde bee oute in the Sunneshain, ane nott Stucke here alle the liuelong daie inn thif mowldey olde By-Our-Lady Workefhoppe. @ *"Æ@;!*

6. And bye the border of Ephraim, from the east fide even untoe the west fide, a portion for Reuben.*

* The Buggre Alle This Bible was also noteworthy for having twenty-seven verses in the third chapter of Genesis, instead of the more usual twenty-four.

They followed verse 24, which in the King James version reads:

"So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life," and read:

25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee?

26 And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my head next.

27 And the Lord did not ask him again.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?”
― Terry Pratchett

“The world was bright and strange and he was in the middle of it.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“She managed to come up with the kind of predictions that you can only understand after the thing has happened," said Anathema. "Like 'Do Notte Buye Betamacks.' That was a prediction for 1972.”
― Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

“But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."
"Like what?" said Adam suspiciously.
"Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."
He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"
She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes.
"An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“...all tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into 'Best of Queen' albums. No particular demonic thoughts were going through his head. In fact, he was currently wondering who Moey and Chandon were.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into the design, somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“Para comprender el estado de la humanidad puede que baste con saber que la mayoría de los grandes triunfos y grandes catástrofes de la historia no se deben a que las personas son buenas en esencia o malas en esencia, sino a que las personas son en esencia personas.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“Crecemos leyendo cosas de piratas, de vaqueros, de naves espaciales y cosas así, y cuando te crees que el mundo está lleno de todo eso, van y te dicen que en verdad son todo ballenas muertas, bosques talados y residuos nucleares por ahí sueltos durante un millón de años. Pues para eso no vale la pena crecer, mira tú por dónde.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“I am creation’s shadow. You cannot destroy me. That would destroy the world.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“(They) weren't, when you got right down to it,
particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and
minds will follow.”
― Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

“That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl.”
― Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

“E não havia maçã no mundo, na opinião de Adam, que não valesse os apuros em que você se meteria para comê-la.”
― Neil Gaiman

“I don't see what's so terrific about creating people as people, and then getting upset cuz they act like people!" said Adam severely. "Anyway if you stop telling people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it out while they're alive!”
― Terry Pratchett y Neil Gaiman, Buenos Presagios

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people”.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.”
― Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett

“You see, evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction,’ said the angel. ‘It is ultimately negative, and therefore encompasses its downfall even at its moments of apparent triumph. No matter how grandiose, how well-planned, how apparently foolproof an evil plan, the inherent sinfulness will by definition rebound upon its instigators. No matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way, at the end it will wreck itself. It will founder upon the rocks of iniquity and sink headfirst to vanish without trace into the seas of oblivion.’
Crowley considered this. ‘Nah,’ he said, at last. ‘For my money, it was just average incompetence.”
― Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“The sun had just laid the first orange slices on the horizon. It lit up the manicured grounds of the clubhouse on the rise, the rooftops of the condos in the distance, making the country club look a but like Disney World. Birdie had been to Disney World, but she’d never liked it. It didn’t feel like real life.
The view was enough to make a person think that God was smiling on Horatio Balmeade. He would never have to worry about frost, unless it might kill his imported pine trees, which had no business being in Georgia in the first place. A person could assume that his club would never have any problems, that it would always be perfect, and that at some point it was inevitable it would swallow up the mess of the orchard.
But Birdie saw it differently.
She took it as a good omen that the sun, though it was shining on Horatio Balmeade and all of his glittering property, was the exact same color every morning. That is, it was the exact same color as peaches.”
― Jodi Lynn Anderson, Peaches

“Não - Crowley”
― Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

“E nem se preocupe em responder. Se pudéssemos compreender, não seríamos nós. - Crowley”
― Terry Pratchett; Neil Gaiman