Pop Psychology Quotes

“The Aztec word for the psilocybin mushroom was teonanacatl, which means literally "god's flesh"; when it was eaten in religious ceremonies, it gave many the experience of a direct encounter with God.”
― Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

“It is impossible to analyze "the meaning of life" in the abstract, or in general, or for some mythical and perfectly rational being. Only by knowing the kinds of beings that we actually are, with the complex mental and emotional architecture that we happen to possess, can anyone even begin to ask about what would count as a meaningful life.”
― Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

“Stress may be a natural byproduct of pursuing difficult but important goals, but that doesn’t mean every stressful moment is rich in meaning. And yet even when the stress we’re under doesn’t seem inherently meaningful, it can trigger the desire to find meaning—if not in this moment, then in the broader context of our lives.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“The anxiety about human nature can be boiled down to four fears:
• If people are innately different, oppression and discrimination would be justified.
• If people are innately immoral, hopes to improve the human condition would be futile.
• If people are products of biology, free will would be a myth and we could no longer hold people responsible for their actions.
• If people are products of biology, life would have no higher meaning and purpose.”
― Steven Pinker, The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature

“Peope who want to feel more connected, supported, and cared about often believe they need to wait for someone else to come and offer those things first. One of the most helpful mindset shifts you can make is to view yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[I]t can be incredibly difficult, and even threatening, to rethink a belief important enough to earn the status of mindset. [...]
We usually don’t see the effect of a mindset because we are too identified with the beliefs behind it. The mindset doesn’t feel like a choice that we make; it feels like an accurate assessment of how the world works.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[T]he stress response - like stress in general - is more feared than appreciated. Most people view the stress response as a toxic state to be minimized, but the reality is not so bleak. In many ways, the stress response is your best ally during difficult moments - a resource to rely on rather than an enemy to vanquish.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Even in circumstances of great suffering, human beings have a natural capacity to find hope, exert choice, and make meaning. This is why in our own lives, the most common effects of stress include strength, growth, and resilience.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“If you think that the body’s response to stress is always fight-or-flight, then the stress response begins to look like evolutionary baggage.
[...] A stress response that supported only two survival strategies—throw a punch or run like hell—would truly be a mismatch for modern life. But the full picture of the human stress response turns out to be much more complex. [...] As with humans themselves, the stress response has evolved, adapting over time to better fit the world we live in now.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[A] less stressful life doesn’t make people nearly as happy as they think it will. Although most people predict they would be happier if they were less busy, the opposite turns out to be true. People are happier when they are busier, even when forced to take on more than they would choose. A dramatic decrease in busyness may explain why retirement can increase the risk of developing depression by 40 percent.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“When you believe that stress is harmful, anything that feels a bit stressful can start to feel like an intrusion in your life. Whether it’s waiting in line at the grocery store, rushing to meet a deadline at work, or planning a holiday dinner for your family, everyday experiences can start to seem like a threat to your health and happiness. [...] These are normal and expected parts of life, but we treat them as if they are unreasonable impositions, keeping our lives from how they should really be.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“When people are connected to their values, they are more likely to believe that they can improve their situation through effort and the support of others. That makes them more likely to take positive action and less likely to use avoidant coping strategies like procrastination or denial. They also are more likely to view the adversity they are going through as temporary, and less likely to think that the problem reveals something unalterably screwed up about themselves or their lives.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[I]f you put a wider lens on your life and subtract every day that you have experienced as stressful, you won’t find yourself with an ideal life. Instead, you’ll find yourself also subtracting the experiences that have helped you grow, the challenges you are most proud of, and the relationships that define you. You may have spared yourself some discomfort, but you will also have robbed yourself of some meaning.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Even if not every frustrating moment feels full of purpose, stress and meaning are inextricably connected in the larger context of your life. When you take this view, life doesn’t become less stressful, but it can become more meaningful.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[W]e cannot always control the stress in our lives, but we can choose our relationship to it. It acknowledges that embracing stress is an act of bravery, one that requires choosing meaning over avoiding discomfort.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“People who are good at stress allow themselves to be changed by the experience of stress. They maintain a basic sense of trust in themselves and a connection to something bigger than themselves. They also find ways to make meaning out of suffering. To be good at stress is not to avoid stress, but to play an active role in how stress transforms you.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Even when anxiety really is a problem, embracing it helps. [...] Although people who have an anxiety disorder perceive their physiology as out of control, it actually isn’t. [P]eople with anxiety self-report higher physical reactivity than those without anxiety. [...] But objectively, their cardiovascular and autonomic responses look just like those of the non-anxious. Everyone experiences an increase in heart rate and adrenaline. People with anxiety disorders perceive those changes differently. [...] And they make more negative assumptions about those sensations, fearing a panic attack. But their physical response is not fundamentally different.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Stress doesn’t always make us kinder—it can also make us angry and defensive. When the fight-or-flight survival instinct kicks in, we may become aggressive or withdrawn. Importantly, the tend-and-befriend theory doesn’t say that stress always leads to caring. It simply says that stress can, and often does, make people more caring. Moreover, social connection is just as strong of a survival instinct as fighting or fleeing.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[T]he impulse to connect is both a natural response to stress and a source of resilience. When we care for others, it changes our biochemistry, activating systems of the brain that produce feelings of hope and courage. Helping others also protects against the harmful effects of even chronic or traumatic stress.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Whether you are overwhelmed by your own stress or the suffering of others, the way to find hope is to connect, not to escape. [...] In any situation where you feel powerless, doing something to support others can help you sustain your motivation and optimism.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[I]f you see yourself as part of something bigger—a team, an organization, a community, or a mission—it takes the toxicity out of striving. When your primary goal is to contribute to this “something bigger,” you still work just as hard, but the motivation driving you is different. Rather than just trying to prove that you are good enough or better than others, you view your efforts as serving a purpose greater than yourself. Instead of focusing on only your own success, you also want to support others to further the broader mission.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“A bigger-than-self goal is not an objective goal, like getting a promotion, or a reward, like being praised by your boss. It is more about how you see your role within your community—what you want to contribute, and the change you want to create.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[P]eople who operate from a bigger-than-self mindset end up building strong social support networks. Paradoxically, by focusing on helping others instead of proving themselves, they become more respected and better liked than people who spend more energy trying to impress others than they do supporting them. In contrast, people who relentlessly pursue self-focused goals are more likely to be resented and rejected by others, and to experience a decline in social support over time. [...] [T]hey may succeed professionally but still feel isolated and insecure about their standing.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“The link between caring and resilience suggests an intriguing possibility for how we can support those who have experienced severe stress or trauma. The best way to help these individuals, who are often labeled “at-risk,” might be to turn them from victims into heroes, and to help them help others.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[T]he instinct to help is part of what it means to be human. Compassion is not a luxury reserved only for those with an easy life, nor is it just the province of saints and martyrs.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[P]eople who understand that suffering is part of everyone’s life are happier, more resilient, and more satisfied with life. They are more open about their struggles and more likely to receive support from others. They are also more likely to find meaning in adversity and less likely to experience burnout at work.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“[A]dopt a growth mindset — to view setbacks as inevitable, and understand that hitting an obstacle means it is time to draw on your resources.”
― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It

“Results of a recent survey of 74 chief executive officers indicate that there may be a link between childhood pet ownership and future career success. Fully 94% of the CEOs, all of them employed within Fortune 500 companies, had possessed a dog, a cat, or both, as youngsters.

The respondents asserted that pet ownership had helped them to develop many of the positive character traits that make them good managers today, including responsibility, empathy, respect for other living beings, generosity, and good communication skills. For all we know, more than 94% of children raised in the backgrounds from which chief executives come had pets, in which case the direction of dependency would be negative. Maybe executive success is really related to tooth brushing during childhood. Probably all chief executives brushed their teeth, at least occasionally, and we might imagine the self-discipline thus acquired led to their business success. That seems more reasonable than the speculation that “communication skills” gained through interacting with a childhood pet promote better relationships with other executives and employees.”
― Reid Hastie, Rational Choice in an Uncertain World: The Psychology of Judgement and Decision Making

“Just as we have shifted en masse from eating food to eating junk food, [...] we have shifted from having meaningful values to having junk values. All this mass-produced fried chicken looks like food, and it appeals to the part of us that evolved to need food; yet it doesn’t give us what we need from food—nutrition. Instead, it fills us with toxins.

In the same way, all these materialistic values, telling us to spend our way to happiness, look like real values; they appeal to the part of us that has evolved to need some basic principles to guide us through life; yet they don’t give us what we need from values—a path to a satisfying life. Instead, they fill us with psychological toxins.
Junk food is distorting our bodies. Junk values are distorting our minds.

Materialism is KFC for the soul.”
― Johann Hari, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions

“[I am] now highly skeptical about the way we talk about depression and anxiety as if they are mainly caused by defects in our brain or genes. It’s a kind of holdover from a highly Westernized, medicalized vision of health and wellbeing, [...] and it lacks any serious appreciation of the cultural context in which these things are happening. If you act this way, you ignore the legitimacy of being depressed for many people who have been stripped of hope.
Instead of thinking about these causes of depression, though, we have been simply putting people on drugs, and that’s become an industry.”
― Johann Hari, Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions